Chapter 27: I wish to walk with the goddess, cherish and love…

Chapter 27: I Wish to Walk with the Goddess, to Cherish and Love...

On the final day of the third month in the year of Guiwei, he told me he was fond of me, that he admired me.

—From Xue Li's Journal

That night, the pursuers combed the entire mountain, but the young boy and girl hiding in the cave didn’t seem the least bit worried. At least, they both acted completely unbothered.

Lin Ye asked, "Which 'Xue' and which 'Li'?"

Xue Li pulled out her dagger, looking for a spot to write for him. But as she turned her gaze, she noticed the ground was strewn with dry, warm grass clippings he had scattered—leaving no space to write.

Lin Ye stared at the dagger in her hand.

Xue Li then remembered that this dagger was something she had taken from his carriage. Was he staring because he recognized it? Should she return it to him? But wasn’t it hers now?

In her confusion, Xue Li saw Lin Ye’s gaze shift away from the dagger. His cheeks, usually pale, were flushed, now even redder.

Before Xue Li could ask about the dagger, the young master stole a glance at her.

Lin Ye stretched out his hand with a serious expression, calmly saying, "Oh, there’s no space to write. What should we do? Why not write on my hand?"

Xue Li: "Okay."

She put away the dagger, held his fingers with one hand, and wrote on his palm with the other.

No sound was made, and in the narrow cave, only their soft breaths filled the air.

Xue Li held his fingers, writing with complete focus. Meanwhile, Lin Ye’s gaze remained fixed on her face, occasionally drifting away, then returning.

His fingers were icy and rigid. As Xue Li wrote, she felt a faint tremor in his palm.

Xue Li thought: Maybe he’s just too weak.

After finishing, Xue Li looked up at him.

Her eyes, cool as snowmelt, met his, and Lin Ye felt his face grow even hotter, his entire body growing restless. He inwardly groaned, thankful that she usually wore a hat, or else his reputation as a flirt would be set in stone.

Really.

He never imagined she’d be this stunning.

Every look, every gesture of hers sent shivers through his heart.

But no matter what Lin Ye thought in his heart, he kept his composure perfectly. He held his palm, pretending to glance at it seriously, then smiled and said, "It’s a lovely name."

In his heart, he thought: "Xue" isn’t a surname. She must be an orphan, likely named by her so-called master.

Confirmed.

She’s not linked to Zhen Dongjun in any way.

In the cold night of the green mountains, the occasional chirp of insects echoed through the bushes.

Inside the cave, Lin Ye’s praise came effortlessly: "A clear sky, white snow, and ripe red lychees. Things from different seasons, yet brought together by a single name. It surely holds a beautiful meaning."

Xue Li asked, "What's the good meaning?"

Lin Ye boasted, his eyebrows raised in excitement: "Longing for summer in winter, longing for lychees in the snow... isn't that a good meaning? Xue, Xue... A Xue, your name is very good, full of hope. It shows that your master loves you very much."

Xue Li: Who is A Xue?

Lin Ye's heart stirred slightly.

He thought of the name his grandfather had given him, which he hadn't used yet because he hadn't come of age... and it was related to her name.

He felt a surge of joy because of this connection.

Being naturally lively and youthful, he was eager to establish some connection with such a beautiful girl.

However, before Lin Ye could figure out how to relate to her, Xue Li lowered her head.

His heart skipped a beat.

The girl's face was calm. "It wasn't my master who named me; I named myself."

Lin Ye: "..."

Xue Li played with the dagger in her hand. "My master found me during a heavy snowfall, so he named me 'Xue Li.' Later, when the names were being recorded in the building, the disciple responsible for copying the names didn't know which two characters to use and didn't dare to ask my master, so my name was recorded as 'Xue Li.'

"I am just a speck of dust, a grain of rice, a grain of sand in the snow. Not worth mentioning, unknown, and unnoticed.

"Later, Song Wanfeng said this name wasn't good and suggested I choose a new one. It was my first time leaving the mountains, and I saw summer, I saw lychees. So I named myself 'Xue Li.'"

Lin Ye was stunned.

He wondered: Who is Song Wanfeng?!

But he had no time to dwell on that; just listening to her casual narration filled his heart with a sharp, needle-like pain. Her voice was always indifferent... sometimes it was like this, when she didn't feel sad, someone else had to feel sad for her.

Young Master Lin even felt some unease.

He was uneasy about his own background—though he was now running around very hard, he had been a 'little devil' in his childhood and a 'little tyrant' in his youth. He never lacked love.

Facing those less fortunate, his happiness felt almost ironic.

Lin Ye wasn't good at handling such situations, but relying on his strong mental fortitude, he pretended everything was fine and comforted her: "At least it's better now. Now you're called 'Xue Li,' isn't the meaning quite good..."

After saying this, Lin Ye blushed, wishing he could slap himself for his nonsense.

But Xue Li nodded. "Yes, I gave myself a very good meaning."

Lin Ye's eyes slowly filled with laughter. He gazed at her face and eyes in the darkness, wanting to move closer. But he was stiff, too afraid to move.

--

Lin Ye used conversation to comfort the girl: "Your martial arts are so impressive; I really envy you."

Xue Li: "Envy?"

Her head began to feel hot again, her voice muffled. She revealed her face from between her knees, her eyes moist and confused from the fever, looking at him blankly—this was another word that had never been related to her.

Lin Ye knew how uncomfortable being sick could be. Seeing her like this, he wanted to care for her.

But there was a clear distinction between men and women. How could he care for her without being presumptuous? A feverish patient probably couldn't heal through internal strength, right?

Lin Ye's heart was tangled, but he chatted with her cheerfully: "Yes. You should be younger than me, right? When I was your age, my martial arts might not have been as good as seventy percent of yours. The waves of the Yangtze River push the waves ahead."

He started acting all high and mighty again.

Xue Li calmly said, "Young master, you’re not even twenty yet. I’m eighteen this year."

Lin Ye thought to himself: Awesome, I got her age! Just need her birth date now... Wait, stop!

Lin Ye, Lin Ye, what’s wrong with you? What does her birth date have to do with you? Besides, didn’t you hear that she’s an orphan? She probably doesn’t even know her birth date.

But then Lin Ye thought again, even if she doesn’t know her birth date, she could celebrate her birthday with him in the future.

He thought this so casually, not even worried that others might overhear and call him out.

Luckily, Lin Ye kept it to himself. Right now, he was too shy to let his arrogance show.

Lin Ye excitedly mapped out Xue Li’s future, waving his hands around, "A Xue, with your martial arts, you’re bound to be the best in the world. You could travel the world, take down every martial arts master, and become a legend, not giving a damn about anything. But you’ve still got to put in the work. At your level, improving’s gotta be tough, huh?"

His eyes lit up, as if her martial arts were his own, excitedly rambling about his own dreams.

But Xue Li wasn’t having it.

She closed her eyes: Who’s A Xue?

Lin Ye shut up.

She opened her eyes to see him pouting, looking hurt and frustrated.

Lin Ye whispered, "Do I really bug you that much?"

Xue Li didn’t feel like dealing with him, but maybe because he was easy on the eyes, and even more harmless when he was upset, even Xue Li couldn’t bring herself to be annoyed. In this world, there was actually something she didn’t mind.

Xue Li didn’t think much, just replied, "I need to rest. Once I’ve got my strength back, I’m going out to wipe out everyone chasing us."

Lin Ye: "...Wipe them all out?"

Xue Li said matter-of-factly, "They made me miss out on ‘sweet fruits,’ and they were after your blood in some glass bottle. They’re enemies, so of course I’ve got to take them all out."

Lin Ye’s tone was complicated, "...Have you been thinking about this all along?"

Xue Li: "Yeah."

Lin Ye thought: Great. Maybe he won’t even need his men, or the assassins, or the two guards. Maybe when they come to rescue him tomorrow, they’ll find the whole mountain’s been wiped clean by Xue Li.

Thinking of this, Lin Ye was amused.

Lin Ye teased her, "Will resting be enough for you?"

Xue Li: "I don’t know. But I can’t let the enemies go."

Lin Ye thought for a moment and asked, "And then?"

Xue Li: "What?"

Lin Ye’s clear and bright eyes looked at her, filled with mixed emotions that made his gaze complex and hard for Xue Li to understand.

Lin Ye’s voice was soft, as if afraid to wake her, "After wiping out these people, what do you plan to do?"

Xue Li hesitated, lowering her head and closing her mouth.

Lin Ye urged, "Come on, tell me. I can’t beat you, so even if you spill, I can’t mess with your plans. I just think we’re friends, and I care about you."

"I don't make friends," Xue Li solemnly warned him, but after a moment of hesitation, she chose to tell him, "I'm going to Gwangju."

Lin Ye's expression changed subtly.

Xue Li: "I need to meet someone I must see."

And now Lin Ye knew that in Gwangju, there was the coffin of Master Yulong. She and Master Yulong...

Lin Ye tentatively asked, "Why must you see them?"

Xue Li thought for a moment: "For the excitement."

Under the pursuit and search by the 'Qin Yueye' group, infiltrating their ranks, burning incense and kowtowing before her master's coffin, was indeed quite thrilling.

Most people couldn't do it, but she wasn't like most people.

Lin Ye: "..."

Lin Ye kept a straight face: "And then?"

Xue Li didn't understand what he was asking.

Lin Ye spoke up: "Won't you come back to Huanchuan to see me?"

Xue Li looked at him, puzzled.

Lin Ye's gaze flickered, and he looked up at the cave ceiling: "I don't mean anything by it. I'm just reminding you, you're Dong Jun, you need to escort me..."

Xue Li: "You know I don't plan to..."

Her words were interrupted by the cunning youth: "You're tired, right? Go to sleep. I'll keep watch."

Xue Li was taken aback.

Lin Ye lowered his head, then suddenly leaned over, clasping his hands together, kneeling devoutly before her, letting her see his eyes:

"I mean no harm; I'm not a bad person. We've faced tough times together, and I've always treated you well. You can see I'm trustworthy, can't you?"

Xue Li thought: Of course, he's not trustworthy.

But she kept quiet, curious about his intentions.

Lin Ye said: "You're sick, you have a fever. If I leave you alone on such a cold mountain night, by tomorrow you won't be able to kill anyone; you might not even be able to stand. So I thought, I thought..."

He stammered: "Thought of holding you as you sleep, wrapping you up in my clothes. Human body heat can be transferred; it can heal."

His heart raced, his fair face flushed, his eyes moist, so nervous he could barely speak: "I really don't mean to overstep. You might not know, but I'm like Liu Xiahui, unmoved by temptation..."

Xue Li yawned and said, "Alright."

Lin Ye: "..."

All his efforts to persuade her were in vain; she simply didn't care.

The youth's lips twitched, but in the end, he said nothing more, instead gently moving over, embracing her, wrapping her in his outer garment.

When the girl was nestled in his arms, Lin Ye instantly forgot all his disappointment. She obediently closed her eyes in his embrace, reminding him before sleep: "Wake me in two hours; I need to go kill."

Lin Ye let out a soft "mm" in his throat.

He gently covered her eyes with his palm.

Her eyelashes and cheeks grazed his palm. He lowered his head, staring intently, motionless, forcing himself to remain empty of all worldly desires and free from distracting thoughts.

--

Lin Ye was lost in reverie in the darkness.

He was lost in thought, occasionally glancing down at her sleeping face.

The sleeping girl was as serene as ever, with long eyelashes and rosy lips. Her breath, light and warm, tickled his palm. His heart drifted restlessly, filled only with regret that he couldn't see those lively almond-shaped eyes.

She said she was going to Gwangju...

Lin Ye held his breath and placed the back of his hand to her forehead, checking her temperature.

She said she was going to Gwangju to meet someone she absolutely had to see...

Lin Ye held her, hoping to share his warmth. In the cold night wind, he listened to the sound of his own heartbeat, like the cracking of bones and the shattering of jade, like the blooming of an ephemeral night-blooming flower.

She said she was going to kill all those people to protect him...

Lin Ye listened to the sounds outside the cave and looked down at the girl's sleeping face, a smile tugging at his lips. But his smile froze in an instant, replaced by a pain unlike any he had ever felt, as if an icy chill had seeped into his heart.

The icy chill weighed it down—by tomorrow, he might never see her again.

Xue Li dreamt of her master again.

--

She dreamt of the time when she was twelve years old, the first time Yu Long sent her out of the mountains on a mission.

That day, only she and her master were in the mountains.

Outside the curtain, young assassins waited respectfully, eagerly peering forward, curious about what the little sister their leader was about to assign to them would look like.

In her dream, Xue Li stood to the side, aware they would be let down.

They would be disappointed by Little Xue Li's cruelty and heartlessness, startled by her oddness and peculiarity.

But the young assassins in this dream didn't know that, and neither did the twelve-year-old Xue Li.

The girl stood inside the curtain, watching as Yu Long filled her bag with food and other necessities.

Yu Long warned her, "Don't play with others, and don't respond to their words."

Xue Li replied indifferently, "Oh."

Yu Long's face was elegant, his demeanor as ethereal as clouds and the moon. Even in the dream, Xue Li couldn't clearly see Yu Long's face.

Yu Long bent down in front of her, his cold hand brushing her cheek. "When others laugh, you laugh with them. When others are sad, you cry with them. In short, don't be the one who stands out."

Xue Li said, "Oh."

Yu Long continued, "Do you remember how I taught you to practice different expressions? Happy, sad, troubled, angry... After you go down the mountain, don't forget to practice in front of the lake or a mirror every day. You must remember these expressions, these emotions that convey the feelings of others. They reveal the flaws in people's hearts, and that's the opportunity for an assassin to strike with precision."

Xue Li looked up.

Her dark eyes gazed at her master. "I used to have these expressions, but now I don't. You're using medicine to strip away my emotions, yet you're also teaching me to learn the emotions of others. But if I had my own emotions, wouldn't I be able to understand them easily? Wouldn't I not have to go through the trouble of learning them like this? Now I'm like a puppet, imitating others, failing to get it right."

In Xue Li's actual memory, there should have been no wind or snow on that day. But in her dream, the sudden snowstorm blurred her master's expression. No matter how wide the young girl opened her eyes, she still couldn't see Yu Long clearly.

She could only hear Yu Long's voice and feel his cold hands on her cheeks: "To master the 'Heartless Art,' this is what you must do. If you want to become the strongest in martial arts at such a young age, this is the path you must take. There are no shortcuts to mastering profound techniques in this world. To overcome the limitations of age, you must pay a price others are unwilling to pay."

"Tell me, do you regret it?"

How could Xue Li possibly regret it?

Although she didn't aspire to be the best in the world, her master did, so she would too. By the age of twelve, she had already lost most of her emotions. Where would she find room for 'regret'?

Xue Li asked, "Will you always be with me?"

Yu Long looked down at her.

He slowly replied, "I will always be with you."

The girl responded with indifference, "Then I will never regret it."

--

Xue Li abruptly woke from her dream, her eyes snapping open.

Her heart was racing, likely from the dream.

The stagnant lake in her heart rippled, causing her heart to tremble slightly, and she thought numbly: Liar.

You promised to always be with me, but you broke that promise.

You abandoned me as your disciple and died just as I returned to the mountain to apologize.

Why?

I didn't regret it, but you did. Because you would regret it, and I wouldn't? Did I do something wrong? Was it because I forgot to eat and almost failed in killing? But I still succeeded, didn't I? I still won.

Or is it that what you truly regret is wanting a disciple like Song Wanfeng instead of me?

"A Xue?"

The young master's gentle and clear voice, like a cool spring, slowly soothed her heart, calming the unsettling ripples and infusing her with vitality, making her feel warm all over.

Xue Li, in a daze, slowly realized: The young master, who loves to save people, is transferring his internal energy to her; the overly familiar young master is calling her "A Xue."

Her name isn't "A Xue."

But Xue Li didn't want to speak.

Lin Ye clearly felt that Xue Li, after waking up, had become cold again.

When he tried to touch her, she turned her head away. He felt a bit awkward: "I wanted to check if you still have a fever."

Xue Li didn't answer. Whether she had a fever or not didn't matter much.

Xue Li grabbed her dagger and asked, "What time is it?"

The cave was still dark, and Lin Ye's eyes quietly watched her in the darkness. She was still in his arms, but she firmly pushed him away, and his black outer robe slipped off her and onto his lap.

The young man, wearing only his inner robe, knelt calmly, pale as frost under the moonlight.

He watched as his outer robe was thrown onto the hay, unmoving, still smiling: "You only slept for an hour and a half. Not going back to sleep?"

Xue Li shook her head.

She got up: killing was the priority.

If she didn’t kill these people, they might come back for revenge.

Xue Li started to leave, but Lin Ye blocked her path. When he tried to touch her hand, she dodged again.

Lin Ye gave a faint smile: it seemed her obedience last night was just her being delirious from illness; now, before dawn, she had regained some clarity and no longer wanted anything to do with him.

But he…

Lin Ye gathered his clothes piece by piece: “Wait, let me give you some advice. I’ll tell you how many of them there are and what moves they’ve used. It’ll make things easier for you.”

Xue Li thought for a moment and sat back down.

She leaned against the stone wall, listening as the young man explained.

She gazed at his damp eyes, but when he glanced up, she looked away. When he lowered his head to explain again, she stole another glance at him.

Dawn broke, and in the stillness, a faint light emerged.

A fleeting subtle tension and an enduring innocence coexisted here, wrapping around the naive youths like flowing water.

When he finished speaking, Lin Ye coughed twice. Afraid someone might notice, he covered his mouth, and blood seemed to seep through his fingers. He hid his hand behind his back and flashed her a smile.

He was frail yet mischievous.

Lin Ye said leisurely: “Alright, I’ve told you everything. Remember this: take the dagger *I gave you*, and go slaughter them all to protect me.”

Xue Li was about to leave, but he deliberately stressed certain words.

Xue Li looked up.

Lin Ye repeated: “The dagger *I gave you*.”

Xue Li: “…”

She looked down at the incredibly handy fruit knife in her hand—the one she had taken from Lin Ye’s carriage.

It was so useful that she’d kept using it.

Lin Ye seemed to read her thoughts and snorted: “Of course it’s useful. Is there anything of mine that isn’t? Even a little knife like this is forged from Tianshan meteorite, personally requested for me by my grandfather.”

Xue Li hesitated.

She thought he probably wanted his dagger back. But…

Xue Li asked shamelessly but calmly: “Can I borrow it for a while?”

Lin Ye seemed to be waiting for this question and quickly replied: “Sure. Just remember to return it. This isn’t a fruit knife, remember—it’s made of Tianshan meteorite. It even has its own name.”

If Liang Chen were here, he would have scolded Lin Ye in exasperation: a knife that’s decent at best for cutting fruit, and you’re tricking the young lady into thinking it’s “Tianshan meteorite”? Have you no shame?

But Xue Li didn’t know.

Xue Li curiously examined the “Tianshan meteorite” in her hand and asked: “It has a name?”

Generally, knives with names are indeed famous.

Lin Ye stared at the girl’s eyes and enunciated each word clearly: “It’s called… Snow Inquiry.”

Xue Li’s head snapped up, her eyes locking onto his.

He pulled a playful, teasing expression.

Xue Li stood up: "If I run into you again, I’ll give 'Snow Inquiry' back."

Lin Ye stood up with her.

Lin Ye held up three fingers: "Just three last things to say."

Xue Li looked at him.

This time, though, Lin Ye stayed quiet for a long moment.

He draped his outer robe over himself, tied his hair, and straightened his appearance. Then, he fastened his belt and pulled a handkerchief from his sleeve to wipe the blood from his face.

Xue Li thought to herself: He reminded her of a little peacock—his tail a bit messy, but still stunning.

A mountain breeze swept over him, carrying the freshness of a spring morning. The young man smiled, his usual playfulness softened:

"After parting in Jianye, we'll meet again in Huanchuan. You must’ve noticed—last night, when I saw your true face, I was stunned, lost in a daze, completely unaware of time. I apologize for feeling this way at such an inopportune moment, for being captivated by your face and enamored with your heart. I might just be shallow, but I feel like if I let this chance slip, there won’t be another."

Xue Li couldn’t help but sneak glances at the little peacock’s vibrant 'tail.'

After a moment of silence, Lin Ye said: "Puppets aren’t cute to me—you are."

In the chilly dawn, Xue Li leaned against the stone wall, her eyes lifting dreamily.

A soft breeze played with his flowing sash and the ribbon in his hair. As his dark hair brushed across his face, the young man stood at the edge of the morning wind, the spring light and mountain breeze reflected in his eyes, his lively gaze clear and focused:

"Though it might’ve started with attraction, once feelings take root, they’re hard to let go. I wish to walk with the goddess, to cherish and love her, to protect and pursue her, to admire and long for her. I wonder, what does the goddess think?"

The mountain wind roared, awakening the entire spring morning. This heart longs to ask the snow—will the snow answer?