Chapter 42

Chapter 42

Though it seemed heartless, after Ji Qingyu returned home and fell asleep, he still dreamed of fragments of the past.

During the long break in his senior year of high school, Ji Ran called Ji Qingyu out. They chatted happily for a while, and just as their conversation flowed pleasantly, Fu Han unexpectedly emerged from some corner. He nodded at Ji Ran in greeting. When the class bell rang, Ji Ran’s gaze lingered on the two of them for a moment, then his lips curved into a smile as he departed first.

Only the two of them remained at the hallway’s corner.

The Alpha, tall and imposing in his school uniform, had the buttons undone, lending him a casual air, and his hair was merely tousled. Just as Ji Qingyu was about to ask what he wanted, Fu Han produced a light blue accessory from his hand. It looked expensive, as if conjured by magic.

"What is this?" Ji Qingyu asked softly.

"Not sure, just picked it randomly," Fu Han replied, lowering his voice to match.

Their heads leaned close together as they stared at the small accessory. Ji Qingyu didn’t know how things had ended up like this. It felt like they were whispering secrets.

"Alright," Ji Qingyu quietly took it. Though he tried to act indifferent, he couldn’t help turning it over in his hand.

"Nothing to treasure so much, it’s just a phone accessory," Fu Han’s voice carried a faint, almost imperceptible, laugh.

"It’s so pretty," Ji Qingyu murmured. The little transparent glass star shimmered with a strange blue light. He rubbed it repeatedly with his fingertip, his heart swelling with quiet delight.

"Do you have a phone? What’s your WeChat?" Fu Han suddenly asked. "I haven’t been sleeping well lately and might call you, even in the middle of the night when you’re asleep."

"My sleep hasn’t been great either…" Ji Qingyu thought, *why would you want to disturb me?*

"Then I’ll call earlier, and we can sleep on a voice call," Fu Han said.

"Why? If you can’t sleep, you could take medicine or see a doctor. I can't cure you," Ji Qingyu laughed. The accessory was already clenched in his palm, its small shape pressing painfully against his skin.

"Then give the phone charm back to me."

"W-why?" Ji Qingyu widened his eyes. This person had such thick skin—how could he ask for a gift back right after giving it? "You gave it to me, so it’s mine now."

"Then talk to me on voice chat," Fu Han lifted Ji Qingyu’s chin, looking down at him. Fu Han’s eyes were very attractive, and Ji Qingyu felt the spot where Fu Han had touched him begin to burn.

"No…"

"Why not?" Fu Han released his chin but hooked his pinky around Ji Qingyu’s. From his fingers to his heart, Ji Qingyu’s body began to heat up.

Fu Han was too good at flustering him.

"Class is starting, let’s talk later," Ji Qingyu pursed his lips, his whole body stiff. He ran off like a rocket.

"Hey, don’t forget to add me," Fu Han called after him, his voice growing fainter.

Ji Qingyu woke up, covering his eyes with his hand. He had fallen asleep immediately the night before and forgotten to close the curtains. The sky was just beginning to light up, the cold light harsh.

He buried his head under the blanket. He hated dreaming about the past. On gloomy rainy days like this, the back of his neck felt cold, a faint, dull ache. Most of the time, he had grown accustomed to coexisting with this subtle discomfort, but today it felt particularly pronounced.

That pendant had long been lost somewhere. Ji Qingyu lay in bed for a long time before dragging himself up. He pulled out his still-unpacked suitcase and rummaged through his pitifully few belongings, but no matter how hard he searched, he couldn’t find the pendant. He began to doubt his memory and sat on the floor, dazed for a while.

Outside the window, birds fluttered their wings.

Jiangcheng seemed mild-mannered, but when it rained, it was even more intense than Jing City. Plus, clothes never seemed to dry properly. Ji Qingyu glanced at the damp clothes in the yard and looked away.

He thought a good sleep would make him feel better, but when he woke up, his head was still foggy, and his body felt weak and sore.

He forced himself to go to the hospital to register. The hospital environment was quite good, with clean windows and not too many people in the morning. Wearing a mask, he queued alone in a corner. Having been to the hospital so many times, he was as familiar with the process as going home.

The TV in the hall was broadcasting entertainment news. These chaotic bits of news always forced their way into Ji Qingyu's mind, as if there was no escaping them anywhere.

Ji Ran truly lived up to being a popular star. As soon as something happened, all the marketing accounts and paparazzi swarmed in. Even his doorstep was surrounded. Perhaps as if he'd been tainted by some characteristic, his obsessive fans were always terrifying. They used to hide outside his door waiting for Ji Ran to come home, but now they had escalated to cursing and insulting, as if they had found a justified reason to be angry. Ji Ran’s doorstep was splattered with paint. Many people were furious—the songs that had moved them, that fraud, was actually someone they had sincerely loved.

The entertainment host played a video of the wall outside Ji Ran’s home, covered in paint and other unknown substances. Those glaring words were pixelated, but even so, many unsavory phrases could be made out.

*Copycat, shameless, bitch, why aren’t you dead yet…* almost all were words like that.

Ji Qingyu pulled his mask higher. He hadn’t blocked Ji Ran, but after the incident, Ji Ran probably knew he no longer had any leverage over Ji Qingyu and hadn’t contacted him since.

This was all just the consequences of his own actions.

When his number was called, Ji Qingyu walked in. He sat on the chair, and the doctor first examined the back of his neck. The scar had faded to a very light white. "Are you here about your gland? How long has it been since the surgery?"

"Not exactly…" Ji Qingyu felt a bit awkward. "I’m pregnant, here for a prenatal check-up."

"Pregnant? You weren’t marked, how did you get pregnant?"

"This… I don’t know either, I just am," Ji Qingyu’s voice grew softer. "The doctor who diagnosed me last time said this kind of situation can happen; it’s just not very common."

"Indeed not common. Unless the other party could open the cervical opening, form a knot inside you, and it basically requires multiple repetitions to succeed." The doctor was also an Omega, speaking matter-of-factly, treating these terms purely as medical jargon. Ji Qingyu, however, lowered his head and silently pleaded in his heart.

*Stop, stop talking.*

His ears were burning red, and his whole body felt like a thoroughly cooked shrimp.

The doctor glanced at him. "Oh, young man, how can you still be so innocent when you’re about to be a mother? Go for the examination; we need an ultrasound to see what’s going on."

After the scan, the doctor pulled up the electronic records. After examining them carefully, he frowned seriously. "Have you been experiencing big mood swings recently? This pregnancy isn’t very stable. You should know that the child and the mother’s body are connected. If you remain in low spirits, overly worried, it will affect the baby’s health."

"Moreover, you’ve had a miscarriage before, and there’s damage to your gland. Forcing yourself to carry this child to term might not be good for your body. This is no joke; you must consider carefully." The doctor spoke earnestly, looking at the Omega before him. There was an unmistakable gloom on his face, his pale complexion adding a fragile beauty to his somberness.

Ji Qingyu looked down at his lower abdomen. He pursed his lips and blurted out, "I… I still want to have this child."

"I understand, I really do understand how you feel. But you should also realize that your body isn’t actually in great condition. You’ve been overworking yourself for years, overthinking has harmed your health, and you inherently lack sufficient vital energy. Even with proper care, this child might still cause significant damage to you." The doctor repeated, hoping Ji Qingyu would think carefully.

Ji Qingyu dully processed the doctor's words, and then he heard himself say without hesitation: "Even so, I still want to have it."

Ji Qingyu felt he couldn’t afford to lose anything else. He had already lost too many important and precious things in his life. Even if it was to atone for the first child, he couldn’t bring himself to kill another life.

Leaving the hospital, he felt even more distraught.

In the days that followed, he spent most of his time at the theater. He wanted to bury himself in work to forget these pressures.

He had no idea what was happening outside. Finally, the affairs of those important people could stay far away from him. He didn’t listen, didn’t think, just moved between the hospital and the theater every day. He quickly became familiar with the new crew members, and Yu Yue was especially energetic, always dragging Ji Qingyu around to explore when not working.

Spending time with an Omega so much younger than him, Ji Qingyu didn’t find it boring. Every day felt fulfilling. Yu Yue talked a lot, and most of the time Ji Qingyu only needed to listen, which instead made him feel secure. The loneliness that grew when he was alone faded, though sometimes he suddenly felt a bit empty. He had chosen the narrowest bed, but sleeping alone still felt somewhat lonely.

The crew’s work was intense, and half a month passed in the blink of an eye. It was time for the first formal rehearsal. Today, he brought a cup of goji berry tea, his hair tucked behind his ears, a pen resting beside one ear. He waited at the theater early. Suddenly, there was some noise around him. He heard Yu Yue’s voice coming from afar. The entrance of the theater was very noisy. Ji Qingyu had no intention of joining the excitement and picked up his notebook, heading backstage.

He seemed to have underestimated his own body, thinking he could always remain calm. He wanted desperately to escape, but found that even running away couldn’t help him avoid the memories of the past. The scars were in his heart, always fermenting. If not resolved, they would cause pain, like a bruise that never fully healed. Sometimes he wondered, would he ever truly get better? Would the warmth he gained from his friends’ companionship turn out to be just an illusion?

He lowered his head, another wave of dizziness washing over him as a sharp, stinging pain shot through his scent gland. His hand trembled uncontrollably, and the cup clattered to the ground, shattering into pieces.

"You can't go in! We're rehearsing inside. If you take another step, we'll call the police!"

"Where are the security guards? What are you doing?!"

Ji Qingyu's vision went black. He crouched down, recovering for a long time, but the pain in his scent gland did not cease. A buzzing filled his ears, but when he tried to stand up, he had no strength.

A dark figure rushed over. From backstage, Ji Qingyu looked up.

It was Fu Han.

Light and shadow flickered across his face, loneliness and gloom fermenting together on it. Ji Qingyu's heart tightened. He took two steps back, desperately retreating into the shadows.

It was a streak of bad luck.

Where had things gone wrong? How had Fu Han managed to find him here?