Chapter 38 Vulgar “…!”

Chapter 38: Crass “...!”

Zhong Yao had always heard that you dream about what’s on your mind during the day, but she always felt that saying was off.

She had her reasons.

When she was young, after every fight with her two older brothers, she really hoped she’d dream about something bad happening to them—like her eldest brother getting bitten by a dog or her second brother falling into a river. Zhong Yao really tried to focus on it, but she never once actually dreamed about it.

After that attack by the bandits, she was terrified of nightmares and never dared to recall that day’s events, yet she kept dreaming about it, waking up every time soaked in a cold sweat.

This time, staying at an inn again, Zhong Yao was scared of having nightmares, plus she wasn’t used to sharing a room with Xie Chi. She didn’t manage to fall asleep until after the third watch drum had sounded, but she still ended up dreaming.

But this dream wasn’t about the bandit attack or Xie Chi selling her off—it was about getting married.

Zhong Yao dreamed she was marrying Fei Anxuan. There were lots of guests, it was all festive and lively, and just as the wedding officiant was calling out the rites for them to bow, Xie Chi strode in and kicked Fei Anxuan to the ground right in front of everyone, then turned to her and said, “Didn’t I tell you to pick carefully? How’d you still end up with this animal?”

Zhong Yao said, “My reputation’s too ruined. I couldn’t find anyone better.”

Xie Chi replied, “I’ll pick for you.”

He chased Fei Anxuan off and brought over a little spotted dog.

For no reason at all, Zhong Yao ended up bowing to the little spotted dog at the wedding.

When it was time for the wedding toast in the bridal chamber, the little spotted dog suddenly said in a cold voice, “Well, well, Zhong Yao, first you give me poison water, then you pour me poison wine. I’ll bite you to death!”

Then the little spotted dog turned into a fierce black hound, pounced on Zhong Yao, and opened its huge jaws to bite her neck.

At the last second, Old Madam Xie appeared out of nowhere, waving her cane and yelling, “How dare you, you dog demon, pretend to be my grandson! I’ll show you what this old lady can do!”

With one swing of her cane, she smacked the vicious dog demon flying, and blood splashed all over Zhong Yao’s face.

Zhong Yao jolted awake, feeling something moving on her cheek. Freaked out, she reached up and realized it was just the bed curtain brushing her face.

She lay there in a daze for a long time, slowly shaking off that absurd, terrifying, and bizarre dream.

Once she was fully awake, Zhong Yao saw it was already light out and didn’t hear any noise from the other room. She quickly got dressed and pushed open the door to find the guard waiting outside.

The guard said, “Miss, you’re awake. Should I have someone bring water?”

Zhong Yao asked, “Where’s the heir?”

“The heir and the young master woke up early and are eating breakfast next door.”

Relieved, Zhong Yao washed up, had a simple meal, and the group moved on.

This dream was way too weird. She couldn’t figure out why she’d dreamed something like that.

Was she desperate to get married?

Her eldest brother was in the capital dealing with that crazy Fourth Prince, her second brother’s fate was unknown in the bandits’ den, and here she was dreaming about getting married—it was really wrong.

Feeling guilty, Zhong Yao stopped messing around with Xie Chi. Once in the carriage, she got serious and started asking about the Misty Mountain Bandits.

Since Xue Fang also had a lot of questions, Xie Chi shoved them both into the carriage and made them each read a book.

The Misty Mountain Bandits were in a stretch of dense, connected mountains. Many years ago, during harsh winters when plants died and food was scarce, wild animals like wolves, tigers, and bears would come down to villages to hunt. Now, with fewer of those beasts, the bandits who’d set up bases in the mountains had multiplied.

Beasts only came down in winter when food was scarce, but the bandits were different—they raided whenever they wanted and weren’t just limited to nearby villages.

As Zhong Yao flipped through the official records, she saw they had lots of vicious methods.

The Misty Mountain Bandits’ territory was huge, full of plants and wildlife. Even if the imperial court went all out and sent tens of thousands of troops to surround the whole mountain for months, the bandits wouldn’t starve.

Completely sealing off the mountain was impossible too.

So no matter what, these bandits, used to life in the dense forest, could always slip out quietly and blend in with the common people.

Once, after a raid, they ambushed a convoy from an escort agency, killed everyone, and then, pretending to be the escorts, passed openly through two prefectures before suddenly slaughtering and looting two rich families.

The authorities thought they’d flee back to the Misty Mountain Bandits in the panic and sent men to chase them. Instead, the bandits scattered and hid among the city’s lowlifes for half a month before quietly slipping out of the city and going back to the mountains.

Another time, when a flood hit and refugees were displaced, these bandits disguised themselves as refugees, snuck into the city, stole the relief money, and burned the grain they couldn’t carry.

These bandits didn’t strike often, but every time they showed up out of nowhere and acted brutally, keeping the local authorities on their toes.

Horrified by their cruelty, Zhong Yao asked, “Why do they have to be like that?”

“Because as long as one person is so evil they can never go back to a normal life, they’ll always drag others down with them.”

Only when there was no way back could they trust each other.

Zhong Yao was shaken. After a moment of silence, she kept reading the official records. Soon, she looked up again, puzzled, and asked, “No matter how tough they are, they’re only a hundred or so people. Even if we catch just two or three each time, they’ll eventually be wiped out… Do they always manage to escape completely?”

Xie Chi was resting with his eyes half-closed, chin propped on his hand. He lifted his eyelids, pulled a book from the pile on the small table in the carriage, and tossed it to Zhong Yao. “Read for yourself.”

Zhong Yao opened it and found a register of women and children abducted by the Misty Mountain Bandits over the years.

Xie Chi had only fallen asleep after Zhong Yao’s muttering stopped the night before. Irritated by her, he now lounged comfortably in the carriage, stretching his long limbs and crowding Zhong Yao and Xue Fang, who were diligently studying their enemy, into a corner.

Xue Fang, competitive by nature, feared Zhong Yao might outpace him and kept sneaking glances at her book. When he saw the records, he flew into a rage.

“Those two little bastards! If I ever run into them again, I’ll skin them alive!”

Startled, Zhong Yao asked, “What little bastards?”

Xue Fang’s curses were coarse, picked up from insolent servants during his years of dependency, and his tone was full of venom and disgust.

Zhong Yao repeated one of his phrases, her voice soft and clear. The vulgar words came out without any malice, sounding no different from saying “Long time no see,” which made Xie Chi open his eyes again to look at her face.

Her expression was earnest and sincere, too.

It made Xie Chi’s hands itch to pinch her cheeks again.

“Filthy scum!” Xue Fang was too furious to answer, continuing his stream of curses. “A bunch of lowlifes…”

Before he could finish his foul-mouthed tirade, Xie Chi kicked him.

He held back, and Xue Fang reacted quickly, crossing his arms to block the blow before rolling low across the carriage floor to the door. Just then, a guard knocked from outside, and Xue Fang seized the chance to slip out, leaping onto a horse and continuing his curses in the open.

“What is it?” Xie Chi asked.

The guard replied, “A message has come in. Suspicious figures resembling bandits have been spotted in Changping County.”

Changping County wasn’t far from their location. Since they’d been spotted, they had to investigate. Xie Chi ordered the group to change course for Changping County.

Too lazy to move, he confirmed the route and then called out, “Go give Xue Fang a beating.”

“Yes!” The guard acknowledged and spurred his horse in pursuit.

"I messed up!" Now they were heading to find the Misty Mountain Bandits, and Zhong Yao was tense, but the more urgent matter was to quickly admit her mistake. She blurted out, "I only said one thing—you're not gonna kick me too, are you? If you do, I'll cry for two whole hours!"

Xie Chi shot her a look and ignored her.

Zhong Yao let out a sigh of relief.

After all, she and Xue Fang started the cursing, so if Xie Chi laid hands on her for that, she'd be in the wrong. When she was little, Zhong Yao learned to say such vulgar curse words from her second brother and got a beating from her eldest brother for it.

Luckily, Xie Chi hated when she cried and didn't act.

Zhong Yao relaxed, pushed aside Xie Chi's leg propped on the stool, and scooted over beside him on the cushion. "What do we do, Heir Xie? We're about to face those villains, and I'm freaking out."

As she got close, Xie Chi remembered her muttering from the night before and unconsciously sniffed. Maybe because she was far enough away, he didn't smell anything on her.

He drawled, "'Go back' or 'I'll protect you'—which one?"

"The second one."

"I'll protect you."

Zhong Yao couldn't help laughing as she clung to his arm.

She knew Xie Chi would protect her, but the Misty Mountain Bandits were cunning and ruthless, and he figured it wouldn't hurt for Zhong Yao to know more.

"You know how I got hurt back then?" he asked.

Zhong Yao had never heard this story and honestly shook her head.

After a pause, Xie Chi started from the beginning: "Xue Fang came to me four years ago..."

After Xue Fang's grandfather and parents died, his family's estate was taken over by relatives.

Those relatives wanted to steal his property and keep a good name, so they told the servants to mistreat Xue Fang. Whenever he fought back, they'd spread rumors he was a violent brat.

Over time, Xue Fang got a reputation as a young thug. But maybe because of his warrior ancestors, he was a natural fighter. As this went on, his reputation worsened, and many whispered he was worthless and would eventually end up joining the Misty Mountain Bandits.

Xue Fang suffered in silence.

Four years ago, Xie Chi's grandmother sent him to check on an old friend's descendant. He found Xue Fang in a bad situation, helped him get back what was his, and has kept him by his side ever since.

But he was a stubborn, vengeful kid. A few months ago, on the way back to the capital, Xue Fang was still angry and insisted on going to settle scores with his relatives personally.

He was just a twelve-year-old traveling alone, and within two days, someone targeted him.

By the time Xie Chi found him, Xue Fang had been drugged unconscious and locked up with five other kids. The ones who tied them up were the Misty Mountain Bandits.

It was simple: the Misty Mountain Bandits had nowhere else to go, and to grow their numbers, they needed more people.

Xue Fang, with his hot temper and fighting skills, was exactly the kind of kid who might act on impulse and end up on a path of no return—perfect for the bandits.

Xie Chi followed the clues, killed five bandits, and rescued him.

But Xie Chi didn't expect that some of those kids had already been turned by the bandits.

It figured. Several kids were kidnapped together into the deep mountains, seeing each other as comrades and allies. Day after day, trapped in fear and terror, if one of them was the first to turn coat and pledge loyalty to the enemy, the others would inevitably waver.

It was those two kids who had ambushed Xie Chi.

After hearing this, Zhong Yao was both scared and furious, feeling that there was no one more despicable in the world than the Misty Mountain Bandits!

"Don't trust kids," Xie Chi warned her. "And if you come across a woman asking for help, be extra cautious."

"Mm-hmm." Zhong Yao nodded repeatedly, hugging Xie Chi's arm and saying, "I won't trust anyone but you."

Xie Chi was about to call her out for secretly noting the route when she went to find Zhong Lan last time, but then he saw Zhong Yao suddenly let go of his arm and quietly scoot back.

Xie Chi: "?"

He pretended not to notice, sat up straight first, then bent down and deliberately leaned closer to Zhong Yao. "Don't trust old people either. Always keep your distance."

"Mm..." Zhong Yao shrank back again.

She was definitely avoiding him.

From their very first meeting, whatever Xie Chi said, whether Zhong Yao believed it or not, she followed—even if it sometimes didn't help.

Xie Chi was sure that from now on, Zhong Yao would stay alert and not easily trust any stranger. But he still pretended to be worried, moving closer again. "Sick people might be disguised bandits too. Don't get near them."

Zhong Yao dodged again.

Xie Chi leaned in further. "And injured people even more so."

"You'd better not get too close to me either..." Zhong Yao's face reddened as she said it, embarrassed.

Xie Chi instantly understood what was going on with her.

She hadn't bathed yesterday and thought she smelled bad, afraid he'd catch a whiff.

By now, Zhong Yao had backed into the corner of the carriage, with nowhere left to go. She curled up into a ball, like a fluffy little creature with no escape.

Xie Chi could have pulled her into his arms with just a lift of his arm.

But Xie Chi wasn't the type to take advantage of a girl. He didn't act, only continued to lean down until his chin was almost touching the top of her head.

He took a light sniff and found that Zhong Yao still carried a faint, pleasant scent, different from the makeup she'd worn before. He couldn't quite place it, but there was no trace of any bad smell.

He understood again: it was just that girls liked to be clean, and missing one day of bathing made her feel dirty and smelly.

"Afraid of me getting close?" Xie Chi pretended not to get it and asked deliberately, "Why?"

How could Zhong Yao say it out loud!

She quickly glanced up and saw his handsome face so close, those dark eyes fixed on her. For some reason, it reminded her of the absurd dream from last night.

Her face instantly burned.

Zhong Yao was even less able to speak.

She stammered for a moment, then said weakly, "...You're too handsome. If you get any closer, I'm afraid I won't be able to control myself and might take liberties with you."

"..."

A strange feeling stirred in Xie Chi's heart. He looked at Zhong Yao for a moment and said, "So you're a lecher too?"

Between smelling bad and being a lecher, Zhong Yao resolutely chose the latter. "That's right! I'm the most vulgar sort. Ever since I was little, I can't move when I see a handsome man."

Xie Chi's gaze at her grew even more peculiar.

After a moment of silence, his expression softened slightly. He reached out and gently brushed a strand of hair from Zhong Yao's cheek, his voice low and slow. "So, as long as someone is good-looking enough, you could fall for them?"

Zhong Yao noticed and, connecting it to their earlier conversation, hastily assured him, "Yes, but don’t worry, I can overcome it! If those bandits try to seduce me with such lowly tricks, I’ll just think hard about my dad, mom, big bro, and second bro! Long as I remember they’re still suffering, I’ll feel sick and won’t be swayed by anyone!"

To emphasize her resistance to deception, she added, "Even if a hundred heavenly hot guys tried to tempt me at once, I wouldn’t be moved!"

Xie Chi fell silent once more.

Zhong Yao, preoccupied with ensuring Xie Chi didn’t detect her scent, sneakily scooted away while he was distracted.

But the moment she moved, Xie Chi noticed.

He immediately leaned forward and pursued her, his gaze fixed on Zhong Yao for a moment before he suddenly reached out and grabbed her chin. As she tried to avert her eyes, he lowered his head and drew closer.

Zhong Yao could even smell the faint, clean scent on him!

The next instant, she saw him take a deep breath, lifted his eyes to meet hers directly, and say in a clear voice, "You really are an annoying, tacky, stinky little woman."

Zhong Yao: "...!"

Her face went crimson, both from the shame of being caught and the annoyance at Xie Chi’s harsh words.

As she held her breath, figuring out how to talk her way out of it, Xie Chi finished his fierce remark, let go, and sat back, ordering the guards, "Speed up the journey."

The Misty Mountain Bandits had schemed against him, and he was set on paying that grudge back big time!