Chapter 85

Chapter 85: Chapter Eighty-Five

Calling it a Hongmen-style banquet would not be an exaggeration—it was one that delivered itself to his doorstep, one that chased after him and shoved itself into his mouth. Lian Cheng could hardly refuse, so he sat down and picked up his bowl and chopsticks. Lian Xiusheng poured him wine—chilled rose wine that glowed with a rosy sheen in the cup, fragrant yet not intoxicating.

"Tell me the truth," Lian Cheng said, his face flushed red, addressing Lian Xiusheng across the table. "Are you trying to get your big brother drunk?"

Lian Xiusheng said no matter how much of this wine one drank, it could not get one drunk. "Why does Third Brother always think the worst of me?"

"Don't flip this on me." Lian Cheng muttered, reaching for the fish. But it was crucian carp—wild-caught, bony, and lean. After one bite, he found it too much of a hassle and set down his chopsticks.

Lian Xiusheng then picked out the bones, and once clean, placed the fish meat into his brother's dish.

Lian Cheng looked at the fine white fish fillets in his own plate, feeling awkward. He asked directly, "Are you treating me like I'm your lord and master?"

Lian Xiusheng was taken aback, looking at the figure by the lamplight with slight surprise. "Since when did Third Brother get so sharp?"

"..." Lian Cheng felt like he'd swallowed a fishbone. "That's not what I meant."

"Then what are you getting at?"

"I'm asking how you see me now—as your elder brother, or as, as, as..."

"Both, naturally," Lian Xiusheng said, his heart at ease, a slight smile curling at the corners of his mouth. "But brotherhood comes first, marriage second. A younger brother serves his elder like a father—attending to my elder brother is simply my duty."

Lian Cheng rolled his eyes so hard they nearly stuck in the back of his head. In anyone else's family, this would make sense—elder brother and wife each in their proper place. But applied to him and Lian Xiusheng, it was utterly bizarre. After all, the elder brother and the wife were the same person—him. What did it matter who came first or mattered more?

Seeing Third Brother didn't answer, Lian Xiusheng raised his cup to toast him.

Lian Cheng was not one to be rude, so he picked up his cup and drank half a cup with him. But before he could swallow the wine, the other man leaned over and captured his lips, and while he was startled with his mouth slightly open, drank the wine from his mouth.

Lian Cheng turned into a glass figurine, flushed red all over. His little brother was too vicious. If his brother had pounced on him and slapped him twice, then pounded him with five heavy punches until he could barely breathe, he could take that. He was definitely not the type to be beaten into submission.

But no, his brother refused to do such a thing. With all his martial skill, he insisted on being all tender and sweet, saying soft things and playing the devoted wife, leaving Lian Cheng no room to play the fearless warrior who'd rather die than compromise.

The meal went on for who knows how long, until they heard Zhen Zhen outside drawing water to boil—it must be time to wash up. The two of them set down their cups and chopsticks. Once the table was cleared, Lian Cheng went to bathe first, emerging quickly. Before he came out, he didn't forget to hold up his little friend and give it a wag, muttering, "You'd better do me proud tonight. Let him know that messing with human decency isn't so easy. Hmph."

After Lian Cheng lay down alone on the bed, he stared at the canopy with his clear, sparkling peach-blossom eyes. Having slept half the day, he wasn't sleepy now, but he didn't know how long passed with no one coming in.

Then Zhen Zhen came in to put out the lamps. Lian Cheng asked her to leave one on, saying he'd be up talking with Lian Xiusheng for a while.

"Alright." Zhen Zhen acknowledged, carrying a lamp to the small table by the arhat couch before leaving.

Lian Cheng kept his word, but Lian Xiusheng was slow to come. He didn't feel even a flicker of secret joy—only worry. Though Lian Xiusheng had said today was his birthday, before he left home, no one in his family had mentioned it once. The Vice Minister's birthday was usually prime time for currying favor, yet no one had come to visit. Lian Cheng guessed that Lian Pu and Lian Xiusheng had probably faked his birth date—today was his real birthday. The emperor had kicked down his door on his birthday, arrested his whole family, and executed his parents on the spot. He must be feeling awful right now.

Waiting like this wasn't going to work. Lian Cheng sighed, mulled it over, and finally got dressed, grabbed a lamp, and went to find Lian Xiusheng.

He was easy to find—in the study, practicing calligraphy. Lian Cheng crept over to look. He was writing the character for "Jiao."

"Lian Jiao." Lian Cheng called to him.

Lian Xiusheng had known Third Brother was there, but hadn't acknowledged him. The other stood close, carrying a scorching fragrance, and he felt as if the entire room had been set alight because of it. His skin scorched and curled, his flesh cooked, his bones turned brittle. On the night his parents died, he had not been at their side—he had been placed by his nursemaid in the grand chair before his grandfather, listening to the old man speak.

"If a ruler regards his subjects as dirt and weeds, then his subjects regard him as a bandit and foe. The Cai clan dies without regret, but I only grieve that you are still so young. Qiu'er, your grandfather knows not how long you may live, but I hope you will not carry on the Cai family's ambitions. Be a mediocre minister, a muddled official—that will suffice."

Lian Cheng saw Lian Xiusheng lost in thought and called him again—Lian Xiusheng.

"When the ruler is worthy, we support him; when he is tyrannical, we overthrow him." Lian Xiusheng said calmly. "Such is the way of heaven."

After a moment of reflection, the Third Brother before him transformed from a ball of flame into a branch of pure white, water-fresh pear blossoms shedding petals as they drifted down.

"Third Brother, come with me." Lian Xiusheng took his hand.

-

The study actually had a hidden door. Lian Cheng was scared half to death and immediately tried to run out. "I saw nothing! I know nothing! Good little brother, spare your Third Brother! Third Brother loves you! But Third Brother doesn't dare get involved in your blood feud."

Stumbling and nearly falling who knows how many times, Lian Cheng was exhausted and hot, no longer able to cry out. When he finally caught his breath, he saw before him a bright ancestral hall—white banners fluttering, white candles glowing, the sound of flowing water ceaseless, and wind whistling through hollows without end.

Lian Cheng was stunned by the sight. He pulled his hand from Lian Xiusheng's and walked closer to look. Calling it an ancestral hall wasn't quite right either, for the spirit tablets were not from a single family—there were over twenty names, men and women, old and young alike. Lian Cheng understood: these were all former officials of Crown Prince Jiao, executed by the emperor. He turned around, stunned, and asked Lian Xiusheng if he had gone mad.

If this were discovered—if this were discovered—given that dog emperor's temperament, he would dig up the Lian family ancestral graves.

Lian Xiusheng, however, casually picked up a few sticks of incense and lit them on the candles before speaking. "Managing the Lotus Garden isn't a lucrative post—no oil to skim. In the early years, several Secretary Eunuchs fought each other to the death over it, none wanting this estate. By some twist of fate, it fell into Eunuch Cui's hands."

That one was even worse, Lian Cheng thought privately. He eats people behind closed doors.

He listened as Lian Xiusheng continued.

"Eunuch Cui, originally named Cui Yunxin. His grandfather was once the leader of the Mingze Society in the capital, with thousands of members. Never having entered officialdom, he only traveled around lecturing on the classics and telling stories. My grandfather was not well acquainted with him. It was because his grandfather said at one lecture that the emperor's affection for his elder brother was feigned that the family was slaughtered. He was already educated by then, and being handsome, he castrated himself and entered the Imperial Inner Court as a junior attendant."

Lian Cheng felt compassion and said that this too was a pitiable man.

Lian Xiusheng placed the incense in the burner and said, "He and I look out for each other."

Lian Cheng's legs went weak. It wasn't that he was cowardly—it was that events seemed to be developing in a direction he had thought about but never deeply considered. To put it simply, Lian Cheng thought, that unofficial history shouldn't be called Records of a Traitor Minister—it should be called Chronicle of a Rebellion.

Lian Xiusheng looked at Third Brother for a long time. He knew how husbands and wives conducted themselves in the world—"Husband and wife speak but half their words, never baring their whole hearts"—yet also "A beloved wife is the pillow's spirit; nine of ten matters discussed succeed." Since he intended to be a pair of mandarin ducks with Third Brother, everything should be discussed and agreed upon together.

He had now revealed his hand to Third Brother. He thought, given Third Brother's nature, he wouldn't be scared off. If Third Brother ran, he would bring him back. Once peace was achieved, Third Brother could do whatever he wished—he would comply with everything. If Third Brother wanted to romp on the dragon throne, he could offer the rivers and mountains as a betrothal gift.

Lian Xiusheng had imagined a thousand scenarios before this, but he never expected Third Brother to imitate him—first respectfully offering incense to all the spirit tablets, then looking at him and speaking softly: "When autumn comes on the ninth day of the eighth month, I shall bloom and a hundred flowers be slain. The fragrance of heaven pierces through Chang'an—the city wrapped in golden armor."

Lian Cheng naturally sided with his own people. This emperor was no good anyway. But this matter needed careful planning—they had neither money nor troops. Without those two things, how could they rebel?

Thinking this, Lian Cheng felt his luck wasn't good enough. He should have been reborn as a prince who was kept at arm's length by the emperor yet commanded five hundred thousand troops. At this moment, he was mentally adding bricks and tiles to his own good fortune, so absorbed that he didn't notice when Lian Xiusheng walked up to him.

"Third Brother, we are twin lotuses on one stem—a match made in heaven." Lian Xiusheng bent down and pecked Lian Cheng's lips. It was only a gesture of intimacy born from shared purpose, nothing sordid. But Lian Cheng, still lost in thought, instinctively flinched back at the sudden contact.

Lian Xiusheng pulled him back, pressing close and saying, "Third Brother, you and I—right here, what do you say?"

Lian Cheng finally snapped back to reality. He twisted a couple of times, his body heating up again, and said in a panic, "What kind of place do you think this is? I wouldn't dare disrespect the Old Masters with you..."

"It's not disrespect," Lian Xiusheng said, kissing his cheek. "Third Brother carries the blood of our enemies in his veins. If they don't witness it with their own eyes, how can they trust Third Brother?"

Lian Cheng's thin sleeping garments had somehow slipped down to his shoulders. Furious and embarrassed, he said he could swear an oath, could make a vow.

What vow? Lian Xiusheng silenced him with a kiss.

Lian Cheng found himself easily lifted onto the incense altar. Glancing to the side, he could see Cai Hao's spirit tablet and the room full of white candles. Not only did cold air creep into his heart, but he also felt that Lian Xiusheng was simply full of wicked schemes. This room of spirit tablets was more effective than ropes and shackles at binding him. The moment he saw them, not only his limbs went weak, but his heart too.

Lian Xiusheng, fearing the altar would be cold against him, first laid down his clothes, then had Third Brother's legs hooked over either side. Watching Third Brother cover his eyes with his jade-like arm, he pressed down.

Lian Cheng's legs hurt from being folded, and he immediately pushed at Lian Xiusheng's shoulders. With that push, he could see clearly, and both of them froze. Lian Cheng was angry—why was he already completely undressed while his brother was still fully clothed?

"I'm not as proper as Third Brother." Lian Xiusheng understood what Third Brother's eyes were saying, and pulled his soft fingers beneath his clothing. Lian Cheng felt as if he had grabbed a floating pot boiled in rolling water—rising and falling. Lian Cheng shot Lian Xiusheng a reproachful glance and kicked at him with his foot, but instead found himself lifted up, suspended neither up nor down. Lian Xiusheng kissed his fair, fragrant belly, looked up at him, and said in a low voice, "Lian Cheng, I won't do it to you today. You needn't be afraid."

Lian Cheng's face went red and white in patches. He was already prepared, so he propped himself up. "Are you impotent?"

With that, he made as if to get up. "If you're impotent, let me take over."

"Third Brother needn't trouble himself with unnecessary concern. Better worry about yourself." Lian Xiusheng pressed the troublemaking Third Brother back down, wiped his palm below, and showed Third Brother his fingers glistening with dew from the flowers and grass. "Lian Cheng, what is the meaning of this?"

Lian Cheng's hair and face were in disarray, and he shook his head wildly, insisting it wasn't his doing, even as his words were already swallowed into the other's mouth, his thoughts scattered like petals in the rain.

Drowsiness deepened, and Lian Cheng heard a bird in the room squawking lewdly. He pressed his bare white foot against his brother's burning, sweat-slicked chest, asking if it was that stinking bird of his making all that noise. Lian Xiusheng lifted him up, saying, "The lewd bird hides in Third Brother's mouth—I'll pull it out now," and kissed him endlessly. Lian Cheng dodged only two or three times out of ten, his hair stuck to his face and neck like a rain-soaked painting.

After all that fuss, the silkworm finally spat out several thick strands of silk. Lian Cheng tried desperately to curl himself up, and Lian Xiusheng let him hide like a cat, only lowering his gaze to gaze at his brother's body, soft as jade, sweet as balm. After a long while, he lifted Third Brother up, letting him lean against his shoulder, and glancing sideways, saw Lian Cheng's eyes like raven feathers and cicada wings. Many in the world possess beauty, but only Lian Cheng—every strand of hair, every fingertip—was just the way he liked it.

Though Lian Cheng's consciousness was hazy, being stared at for so long made him aware of it. He raised his eyes, mustered some strength to pull away, and sniffled as he spoke, "Let me make you feel good too."

Lian Xiusheng had already figured it out, yet still rubbed noses with Third Brother, asking how he planned to give pleasure.

Lian Cheng was generous with his own kin, saying, "Top or bottom—your pick."

Lian Xiusheng let out a hoarse laugh, pinching Third Brother's cherry lips to get a good look. It was the first time Lian Cheng saw a sly, mischievous smile curl at the corner of his mouth. For a second, he really did feel like the guy was his own little brother—but that made what they were doing even more wrong. Lian Cheng grew even more ashamed, his vision going a little dark.

"You don't need to take it—it's got somewhere to go." Lian Xiusheng shared a sweet kiss with Third Brother, watching his dazed, dreamy eyes. He turned to bite his brother's ear, asking if they could use his legs. Lian Cheng snapped back to clarity, turned and bit Lian Xiusheng's face harder, rasping, "You're nothing but a hypocrite, asking me yes or no all the time. When you dragged me into this place, you didn't ask! Well, now I'm saying no—let me out, and from now on, everything..."

Before he could finish, Lian Cheng was lifted down from the incense table. There was a straw kneeling mat on the floor, the kind for praying. Lian Cheng pulled his gauze robe half over himself and knelt onto it. After a moment, a hand came from behind and wrapped around his pale neck, and a voice spoke from behind him, "Third Brother, do you remember that night you knelt in the ancestral hall?"

Lian Cheng perked up at once, "Oh! You nearly beat me half to death with your fly whisk!"

"I didn't hit you that hard—it just looked bad. Are you still mad at me?" Lian Xiusheng lifted the curtain of Third Brother's robe, looking at his two trembling white legs, spread open like a pair of red doors.

Lian Cheng clenched his teeth and stayed quiet, then heard Lian Xiusheng tell him to press his legs together so he could work. Lian Cheng pressed them together and buried his face in the crook of his arm, muttering for him to hurry up. But Lian Xiusheng was in no rush, making him take it, then asking if he could see it from that position. Lian Cheng was already face-down; had the other not mentioned it, he wouldn't have noticed. But now that it was pointed out, he blinked and saw it—bubbling like a fish spitting bubbles. Lian Cheng jumped, quickly looking away, and lifted his head—only to see the rows of ancestral tablets.

Lian Xiusheng wasn't as easily distracted as Lian Cheng; he focused solely on the task at hand, kneading Third Brother's ass until it turned red. After rubbing for a while, he gave it a smack, and Third Brother only let out a muffled groan as the handprint showed up on his pale white cheek. Only then did Third Brother call out softly from the front, "Why'd you hit me?"

Lian Cheng didn't want another beating, so he twisted his hips to argue first, but got pressed down flat, and then it hit him like a storm. Even though it was just the outer edges, not the full thing, it was still too much for him—because it was all over his body, inside and out. Hard to take, hard to say, hard to bear. He cried and whimpered a few times, and when he spurted silk again, he cursed Lian Xiusheng, "You animal, why won't you just come already?" Lian Xiusheng embraced him, saying, "Third Brother, don't be anxious," and kept going, cold as stone.

By the time the candles had burned halfway down, the straw mat soaked through with fragrant sweat and spring dew beyond use, the jade softened, the balm melted—only then was Lian Cheng dazedly washed clean inside and out and laid upon the bed. He was startled awake by a wave of red, clouds of dark hair draped over his shoulders, beautiful as wisps of smoke.

Sitting up, Lian Cheng felt discomfort all over. He said nothing about it for the moment, but stared wide-eyed at the red bedding, asking, "When was this changed?"

"Just now," Lian Xiusheng said, having brewed tea at the table and quickly coming over. "Warm tea—please, Third Brother, drink to moisten your lips."

Lian Cheng obediently took two sips before continuing, "Why did you change it to mandarin ducks?"

"If Third Brother and I don't cover ourselves with a mandarin-duck quilt, what should we cover?" Lian Xiusheng had also changed into clean, light gauze. He held the teacup, gazing at Third Brother as one gazes at a wife.

Lian Cheng opened his mouth, silence louder than words, then lifted the quilt and pointed inside, "Did it bleed?"

Lian Xiusheng took Third Brother's hand again, guiding it to press the jade pot. "Minzi, I've already shown you mercy—stop making a fuss."

Lian Cheng's palm was scalded, and he shrank clumsily back under the quilt. "Once we set out tomorrow, how am I to ride a horse?"

Lian Xiusheng listened to Third Brother mumble on and on, touching on heaven and earth, the three teachings and nine schools, until he finally began to tire. Only then did he find a chance to speak. "Lian Cheng, in all these years, only today am I happiest."

Lian Cheng seemed to have heard, but was too worn out from teasing to respond, humming twice. Lian Xiusheng leaned over, saw he was asleep, then set down the teacup, extinguished the lamp, and returned to the bed to embrace Third Brother in sleep. In the middle of the night, Lian Cheng woke from the heat. Ancient summers weren't unbearably hot, but being held by someone on a summer night was stiflingly warm. So he shoved Lian Xiusheng far away with effort, but before long, the furnace pressed close again. The two brothers thus chased each other back and forth until the rooster crowed—but that's a tale for another time.

-

The emperor didn't return to the city with them. He found the frogs in the pond too noisy, and after having his fill of amusement, he led his imperial guards and a retinue of eunuchs and palace maids back with fanfare. The ministers returned early the next morning. Lian Cheng, unusually, was unwilling to ride a horse and sprawled in Lian Xiusheng's sedan chair like an Old Master demanding service.

In the sedan chair, Lian Cheng held a teacup and asked if Eunuch Cui could be trusted.

Lian Xiusheng looked at his book, "Whether he's reliable—my word doesn't decide it."

"..." Lian Cheng clicked his tongue. "If he sells you out out of kindness, he'd be just like my grandfather."

"..." Lian Xiusheng looked at Third Brother, silent for a moment. "Third Brother, when a man acts, he may rely on heaven, on earth, on himself—but never on others."

Lian Cheng grinned again, "Then you do the thinking. I won't—I'll follow your lead."

With that, Lian Cheng picked up a storybook to read, chuckling inwardly. The words and pictures didn't catch his eye; he was thinking that had he known subduing Lian Xiusheng was this easy, he should have taken the field himself long ago. It wouldn't cost him a pound of flesh, and it would deepen their bond. Teaching someone to be good was just too hard—it didn't suit him.

With no more words in the sedan chair, both read their books in earnest. After traveling a stretch, Li Wan suddenly jumped in, followed by Zhang Xian. The three huddled together like birds catching prey, chattering noisily the whole way. When they entered the city, Li Wan took his leave, saying his family's business had been choked off by his third uncle, and henceforth he'd need to keep an eye on things for his father the prince—who knew when he'd next be free to drink and laugh with them. After Zhang Xian also left, Lian Xiusheng finally spoke, saying that Prince Hui's household wouldn't enjoy good days for long.

Knowing Third Brother was about to ask, Lian Xiusheng preempted, "His Majesty won't take Prince Hui's life—rest assured, Third Brother."

Lian Cheng gave an "oh" and asked, "Then what's your next move?"

Lian Xiusheng said he hadn't decided yet.

"You mean to tell me you have no detailed plan?" Lian Cheng was ready to wash his hands of him.

Lian Xiusheng saw Third Brother throwing another tantrum and had to say, "First, I'll rise to the Ministry of Personnel. The capital inspection is coming up—I can sweep many officials out of their posts."

Lian Cheng blinked. "Sixth Brother speaks boldly. Just entered the Ministry of Rites, and now you're off to the Ministry of Personnel? Those fellows there are no pushovers."

Lian Xiusheng smiled slightly and said, "Isn't cousin Miaozhen to be wed into Minister Han's family? With the two families bound by marriage, Han Guilin, as Minister of Personnel, helping his in-laws isn't impossible."

"You just said you can't rely on people."

"Not on any specific person."

"What do you mean?"

Lian Xiusheng continued, "The Left Vice Minister of Personnel is my teacher's student; the Right Vice Minister is His Majesty's man. The others need not be mentioned for now—there are plenty of useful connections."

"..." Lian Cheng mulled it over for a long while before it dawned on him. "So the entire Ministry of Personnel, even if not all on your side, would still help you rise to the top?!"

Lian Xiusheng said that was about right.

Lian Cheng was silent for a long moment, truly in awe of the other. He clasped his hands in salute, "I admire you. But if this path fails, what then?"

Lian Xiusheng raised his eyes. "Third Brother worries too much. Even if the whole Ministry of Personnel refuses to help me, or even blocks me, His Majesty's mind is still easy to read."

Lian Cheng countered, "You can read him—can't others guess too?"

"Guessing his intent is one thing; winning his favor is another." Lian Xiusheng said, "Does Third Brother think I'm the only one in court who understands His Majesty? My teacher could predict him accurately, but precisely because he predicted so well, he had to plead illness and withdraw. This is the right time, the right place, and the right people."

Lian Cheng asked him if such scheming tired him.

Lian Xiusheng said, "If one feels weary, it's usually from overthinking what's behind and ahead. I only focus on what's before me, not on the reputation I leave behind."

"..." Lian Cheng was speechless, though he knew the other spoke the truth. That's why the unofficial histories called him a Traitor Minister—his reputation was thoroughly ruined.

Thinking it over, Lian Cheng suddenly sensed something subtly wrong. No, no—after transmigrating into this book, he'd set himself the goal of keeping Lian Xiusheng from becoming the Treacherous minister who wreaked havoc on the court. Even if he committed minor, harmless faults, he must not do grievous wrong.

But what was he doing now? He was singing in duet with the other, plotting rebellion!

Not only that—he'd ended up in bed with him! Fine, he'd gone to steal a chicken and lost the rice, lost his wife and his soldiers. He'd been schemed by Lian Xiusheng down to his very underpants!