Chapter 51: This Child Has Loved Reading Since Childhood

Chapter 51: This Child Has Loved Reading Since He Was Young

"I'm already in this sorry state, and this is how you treat me, Uncle? That really stings."

Ruan Ciyu found Ruan Songtang utterly irritating, butting in on his trip to Ganzhou right when he was in high spirits.

"Even in your current state, you've still got time to run your mouth." He gave Lan Suzhou's chest a light pat and said coldly, "Suzhou, deal with him."

Lan Suzhou pulled the whip from his waist and cracked it sideways, the tip snapping through the air like a clap of thunder.

Lan Suzhou: "Hear that? Say one more useless word and I'll take care of you."

Ruan Songtang took a deep breath, barely keeping the veins in his forehead from popping out.

Figuring that lunatic Lan Suzhou might actually go through with it, and since he only had two people with him, he wisely sped up his speech.

"No ulterior motives here. I volunteered to be sent to Dianjun. What's the point of you two heading into that big desert? Why not come south with me for a little trip instead?"

Lan Suzhou's face darkened by the second. He covered Ruan Ciyu's ears with one hand and raised the whip high with the other.

"Brother, this guy is sneaky and treacherous. Let's not listen to his bullshit."

Ruan Songtang furiously kicked the crossbeam of his carriage.

The golden nanmu wood sent a sharp jolt of pain through his foot, and the startled horse, caught in the crossfire, let out an angry neigh, setting off a clatter inside the carriage—the sound of cargo tumbling around.

Luckily, that was enough to calm Ruan Songtang down.

Ruan Songtang: "Oh, you flatter me."

"If Uncle doesn't want to come along, fine. But if you two ever pull off something big in the future, don't forget I can still lend a hand."

Ruan Songtang held out his arm toward the carriage door, and a thin, frail arm trembled out from the curtain, pressing something into his hand.

Without even looking at it, Ruan Songtang tossed it at Lan Suzhou's face.

Lan Suzhou caught it without blinking. He opened his palm and found a jade token carved with the character "Ruan."

He secretly tucked it into Ruan Ciyu's fox fur, but said out loud, "Have you forgotten? Yuqing is a Ruan too. What would we want with your no-name trinket?"

"Take this token to Dianjun and someone will lead you to my estate." Ruan Songtang used the person inside the carriage for support as he climbed up, but instead of going in, he stood on the carriage beam.

That way, he could look Lan Suzhou in the eye.

"Use it or don't, your call. I'm just saying I intend to get a piece of the pie. Besides, you still owe me for sneaking you into the palace."

Lan Suzhou had already ridden his tall horse slowly past the carriage, not even giving Ruan Songtang a glance.

No matter how wide Ruan Songtang's eyes got, or how they narrowed with his pupils constricting, he couldn't catch even a glimpse of Ruan Ciyu's profile through the fox fur and Lan Suzhou's ironclad guard.

Ruan Songtang's eyes were sore and bloodshot from straining. Zhu Chi had already ridden far ahead, and the remaining Xuanji Army soldiers filed past him in an orderly fashion, leaving only this ornate carriage standing there alone.

Once the main force had moved on, the curtain was thrown open from inside. Zhi Qing, half-kneeling, half-crouching, looked up at Ruan Songtang.

"Second Highness."

Ruan Songtang clenched his fists, then let them go, his arms trembling with rage.

Hearing movement behind him, he instinctively flicked his sleeve, sending Zhi Qing tumbling back and slamming hard against the carriage bench.

"Hmph..." Zhi Qing clutched his head and climbed back up, sighing for the millionth time.

Following the wrong master was a life destined for hardship.

If Prince Cheng'an hadn't preferred the strong and burly—a standard he could never hope to meet—he wouldn't be lowering himself like this under Ruan Songtang.

Having vented his anger, Ruan Songtang finally snapped out of it. He rushed into the carriage and helped Zhi Qing up.

But what came out of his mouth was: "Why are you so weak? Look at that damn Lan Suzhou, then look at your pathetic frame. Tell me, what use are you to me?"

"Your servant is useless in every way, only having hands and ears—to pour your tea, take care of your meals and rest, and listen to Your Highness plan for the realm. That alone is already your servant's greatest fortune."

"Hmph, you're selling yourself short." Ruan Songtang leaned back against the bench, yanked Zhi Qing into his arms, and roughly rubbed his waist through his clothes. His fingers dug into the fabric, viciously pinching and squeezing Zhi Qing's slightly soft waist and hips.

With so much force, it seemed he wanted to strip the skin off his bones.

After venting, Ruan Songtang grabbed Zhi Qing's cheeks, forcing him to look up, while his other thumb pressed between Zhi Qing's teeth, prying his mouth open.

Ruan Songtang sneered: "You've also got a sweet tongue that can please me."

His hands showed no gentleness at all. Zhi Qing closed his eyes, the corners of his eyes flushed red, his jaw aching like it was dislocated.

"Who would've thought—I only picked you up from that place on a whim, planning to stuff you into Uncle's quarters... but you turned out to be quite the little gem."

Ruan Songtang let out a sinister chuckle, not caring that the carriage curtain was wide open and the two of them were out in the middle of nowhere. Maybe precisely because they were in the middle of nowhere, he suddenly lowered his body.

Lan Suzhou lowered himself, pressing one hand on the curtain atop the carriage roof and reaching the other inside. He bent down, poked his head in, and smiled sweetly.

"Brother, come out and get some fresh air? We've reached the oasis."

After leaving Luozhou, Ruan Ciyu had actually only ridden with Lan Suzhou for a few li.

Lan Suzhou was insufferable. Every few steps Zhu Chi took, he'd ask Ruan Ciyu if his legs were chafed and sore, or if he wanted to switch to the carriage.

The first time, Ruan Ciyu said he was fine. The second time, he said it didn't hurt. The third time, he said the carriage was too stuffy and he wanted to look at the scenery.

The fourth time, he couldn't take it anymore. He threw open the fox fur and gave Lan Suzhou a solid smack on the mouth.

"Stop asking. Don't I have a mouth of my own? If my ass hurts, can't I say so myself? Keep your voice down—you're ruining the scenery."

Lan Suzhou jolted and closed his eyes. His lips stung, but his nose caught a sweet scent.

"Alright then..."

He obediently shut his mouth and stopped asking, just pulling Ruan Ciyu closer onto his thigh, trying to keep his butt suspended.

Riding on the fine steed, Ruan Ciyu truly experienced what it meant to view flowers from horseback. In truth, he didn't even see any flowers—Zhu Chi galloped right past them all.

But luckily, Ruan Ciyu had so few past excursions that even this felt wonderfully new. Just riding a horse in the wind was enough to make him feel totally refreshed.

The only pity was that Lan Suzhou's thighs were also pretty hard, not much better than Zhu Chi's back. Even through the fox fur, Ruan Ciyu soon felt soreness creeping up his legs.

He tried to tough it out, but pain was a weird thing—once you noticed it, it got harder to ignore. Eventually, Ruan Ciyu couldn't even focus on the scenery. Gripping Lan Suzhou's chest plate, he subtly shifted his position back and forth, secretly hoping Lan Suzhou would ask again if he wanted to switch to the carriage.

But Lan Suzhou just glanced down at him without saying a word.

So lacking in awareness. Ruan Ciyu silently made a mental note of this offense against Lan Suzhou, then cleared his throat.

"Ahem."

Lan Suzhou glanced at him again and said considerately, "Brother, what's the matter?"

Ruan Ciyu had just told him to shut up, yet Lan Suzhou remained so thoughtful that he felt a bit embarrassed to say anything now.

After a moment of deliberation, Ruan Ciyu said, "Nothing much. I just had a sudden inspiration from what I saw and heard on the road—I've come up with an alias."

Lan Suzhou asked curiously, "What alias?"

Ruan Ciyu scrambled through his brain, shuffling every poem and phrase he'd ever learned, and spouted out something random: "I'll keep the 'Yu' and go by Yun Xiyu when we hit Ganzhou."

"That sounds gorgeous." Lan Suzhou rolled the three characters around in his mouth, feeling they got more and more otherworldly and elegant—just right for Ruan Ciyu.

"Should I pick one too? Something to pair with yours—like Lei Heshi? Dian Huyan?"

Ruan Ciyu suddenly felt his own alias sounded lame, and with his thigh aching more and more, he snapped, "Why not just call yourself Night Pot Spout?"

Lan Suzhou didn't catch what characters those were at first and said cheerfully, "Great name—has a nice ring to it."

But then he thought about it and got suspicious: "Though it sounds like a place name. Who's got 'spout' in their name?"

Ruan Ciyu felt a twinge of guilt, scolded himself for being crude, and tried to smooth things over: "That's what makes it special—just like you, so unique."

Lan Suzhou nodded, satisfied. "True. From now on, you're Mr. Yun, and I'm Mr. Night. We're a perfect pair."

Ruan Ciyu groaned inside—he really didn't want to be paired with a night pot spout. He realized that ever since leaving Shengjing, he'd tossed all decency and shame out the window.

Luckily, after all that pointless chatter, Lan Suzhou finally gave him an out.

"Mr. Yun, tired from riding? Need a hand getting into the carriage?"

Ruan Ciyu nodded three times and said, trying to sound proper, "Then I thank you."

They'd been trekking through the desert for almost a whole day. Once they hit the sands, they were basically halfway home. The Xuanji soldiers, who'd been cooped up in Shengjing for months, went nuts at the sight of sand—helmets and armor thrown off, they looked more like a gang of bandits than soldiers.

Ruan Ciyu kept pulling back the curtain to peek out, but either the sun was too bright or the sand got in his eyes, so he had to sit tight inside the carriage.

Soon, he got bored, and he'd rubbed his sleeve until it was almost threadbare. Looking around, he noticed a book chest in the corner.

He hadn't expected Lan Suzhou, who'd left Shengjing in such a rush, to have thought to pack these for him.

Ruan Ciyu felt a warmth in his heart, and casually pulled out a volume to read.

Mm, this one was about geomancy—reading mountain ranges and terrain. The descriptions were vivid, the writing light and to the point—as he read, Ruan Ciyu could already picture the shapes of those mountains and rivers.

The Prince Cheng'an's mansion didn't have "fun books" like this, so Ruan Ciyu read it like a science primer, totally hooked.

"Two towering peaks face each other, their river's path strangely marvelous. A silver stream pours down the left mountain, forming a lake at its foot, but it doesn't stop there. It then flows back into a steep cliff, right across from the right mountain, where the silver stream suddenly turns into a raging flood, surging on and on until the right mountain swallows it all..."

Ruan Ciyu couldn't help grabbing a brush and scribbling in the margin: "This is a sight I've never heard of or seen in my life. If it really exists, I've got to go check it out."

He kept reading, and when the two mountains collapsed and shifted from earthquakes, he started thinking this book wasn't like science at all—it was more like a myth, like Kuafu chasing the sun and turning into a forest, or Pangu splitting the heavens and becoming mountains.

But the library had no such tales of the strange either, and Ruan Ciyu's curiosity was piqued. He turned another page, only to find an illustration for the story. Yet when he saw what was on that new page, his hand jerked, nearly sending the entire scroll flying.

At first glance, it appeared to be two tall mountains, but upon closer look, they were unmistakably two male bodies, completely nude, connected only at the "mountain base." And sure enough, the silver stream was gushing forth just as described...

...

Ruan Ciyu's heart churned violently. Forcing himself to calm down, he picked up the scroll again and quickly flipped through it.

Sure enough, the whole thing was nothing but this filth!

Lan Suzhou, you horny little whelp in the deep autumn.

Ruan Ciyu laughed in exasperation, but just then Lan Suzhou poked his head in to help him down.

"Brother, come out for some air? We've reached the oasis."

When there was no answer from inside, Lan Suzhou reflected for a moment and changed his address: "Mr. Yun?"

Ruan Ciyu let out a cold snort and lightly placed the scroll in Lan Suzhou's hand.

Lan Suzhou instinctively closed his fingers around it. "What's this?"

Under the bright sky and in full view of everyone, Lan Suzhou, completely unsuspecting, unfurled the scroll—and what greeted him was that grand masterpiece of two men.

Ruan Ciyu steadied himself against the carriage beam and leaned out, just in time to see Lan Suzhou's face slowly turn as red as a monkey's rear end in the sunlight.

"Author's Note"

Zhi Qing: When do I escape my original workplace?

Ruan Ciyu: When do I escape my original husband...