Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Shen Ling planted his hands on the edge of the sink, the chill of the marble countertop creeping up through his palms. His reflection in the mirror was alarmingly pale, the last bit of color drained from his lips.

He hadn't expected to have a panic attack at this banquet—there'd been no warning at all. Just the sight of Sun Yu had triggered it, and it was mortifying.

Shen Ling's arms, which were holding him up against the counter, started to give out. He knew he couldn't stay here—what if someone came in...

Shen Ling stumbled over and shoved open the door beside him.

It was a supply closet, even more cramped than the restroom. The walls seemed to close in on him from all sides, the air heavy with the sharp smell of disinfectant, with a single harsh fluorescent light buzzing overhead.

Shen Ling slid down the wall, drawing his knees to his chest.

It was this kind of light.

The room in his past life had a light just like this one.

...

Liu Xian sat behind his desk, still wearing that self-righteous look.

A titan of the industry, a regular fixture on international judging panels, and half the design directors at top brands were his protégés.

— Stacked together, these titles formed a wall gilded with gold leaf, hiding the truth behind it.

Sun Yu stood beside him, wearing a smug, sanctimonious smile.

"Shen Ling, Professor Liu values talent. You run that big studio all by yourself—how exhausting is that? If you go with Professor Liu, your designs become his, your name becomes his. He's doing you a favor."

Shen Ling backed up until his back hit the cold wall.

Valuing talent, doing him a favor—it was all just a glossy facade to hand him over, body and soul, to Liu Xian's bed.

"I'm not going." Shen Ling's voice shook violently. "I'm not going."

Sun Yu's smile grew even wider. Several hands reached out at once and grabbed Shen Ling's shoulders. Shen Ling thrashed like a live fish on a cutting board, twisting and struggling desperately.

In the chaos, his hand closed around a carving knife.

Shen Ling gripped the knife, blade facing outward.

"Stay back—!"

The tip cut into something soft. Blood welled up and ran down the blade, hot drops splashing onto the back of his hand.

Sun Yu stumbled back, clutching his arm, fear finally flashing across his face.

Then more overwhelming force came down on him. Someone pried his fingers apart and yanked the knife away. His face was ground into the floor, and he tasted dust and rust in his mouth.

...

"Don't... I'm not going..."

Shen Ling's voice drifted through the cramped supply closet, his lips trembling, the words fading into the smell of disinfectant.

He saw hands reaching out of the walls, crawling up through the cracks in the floor, emerging from the shadows of the harsh fluorescent light.

One after another, they came to hold him down, to drag him back to that room...

Shen Ling's hands groped wildly around him, but his fingers only grazed the wooden mop handle, the plastic rim of a bucket.

No.

That's not it.

What he was looking for was the carving knife.

The moment he'd gripped it in his past life, the feel of the blade slicing through skin was still etched into his palm.

He needed a weapon—he had to find one—!

Shen Ling's hands scraped across the floor, nails scratching against the tile grout, screeching across plastic, leaving only faint white marks.

Nothing there.

No way out.

No strength to fight.

"Help... someone, please help me..."

Shen Ling thought he was screaming, but his throat was so tight with terror that not a single coherent syllable came out—only a faint, threadlike whimper.

The only sounds were the buzzing of the fluorescent light and the frantic pounding of his heart in his ears.

Shen Ling's eyes were wide, but his gaze was unfocused, staring at the blank wall in front of him, reflecting no trace of reality.

"Someone... please save me..."

Shen Ling's consciousness hovered on the edge of fading. In a daze, a figure rose from the depths of his memory.

Huo Yanshen.

He'd always stood in front of him.

At those social functions in his past life, when Shen Ling stood behind Huo Yanshen, his broad frame blocked all those probing stares. When Shen Ling woke from nightmares in the middle of the night, Huo Yanshen would pull him into his arms and run his palm down Shen Ling's spine—more comforting than anything.

He always seemed to be there, like a mountain at his back. All Shen Ling had to do was take one step back and he could lean on him.

But... Huo Yanshen was already gone.

The thought hit him like a bucket of ice water dumped over his head. Shen Ling's fingertips curled helplessly against the cold tile, his heart sinking.

Right. He'd already survived four years alone. How could he forget again?

He couldn't hold on to him.

Not in his past life, and in this one... this one too—

A wave of bitterness surged up Shen Ling's throat, and he let out a nearly desperate whimper.

"Husband... where are you..."

·

"Where's Shen Ling?"

Huo Yanshen asked Chen Xitong, his words tumbling out fast.

Chen Xitong looked up, meeting Huo Yanshen's gaze, her heart skipping a beat.

Her cousin had always been unreadable—plenty of old foxes in the business world couldn't get a read on him. But right now, his brow was furrowed, and his usually calm dark eyes churned with an anxiety she'd never seen before.

"He said he was going to the bathroom earlier," Chen Xitong said, her expression turning serious as well. "But I felt something was off. The second he saw those people, his face just changed. I called out to him, but he barely even responded."

"How long ago was that?"

Chen Xitong glanced at her wristwatch, her brow knitting. "It's been... like, half an hour."

Huo Yanshen turned and left without a word.

He took the stairs two at a time up to the second floor. The bathroom door at the end of the hall was standing open, and at first glance, it looked empty.

His gaze swept to the side—the narrow door marked "Storage Room" was slightly ajar, with a sliver of pale light leaking through the crack.

Huo Yanshen shoved the door open. It slammed against the wall. Under the harsh fluorescent light, he saw Shen Ling huddled in the corner.

Shen Ling had shrunk into an impossibly tiny ball. His shirt was soaked through with cold sweat, the damp fabric clinging to him and outlining the sharp lines of his shoulder blades.

And his hands... Huo Yanshen's gaze dropped, and his pupils contracted sharply.

Shen Ling's fingers were unconsciously scratching at the floor. The skin on his fingertips was already rubbed raw, blood seeping through, but he didn't seem to feel any pain—like he was searching for something.

Shen Ling's lips trembled as he murmured, "No... I won't go..."

His pupils were completely unfocused, staring at the empty wall in front of him as if he could see something no one else could.

Cold sweat dripped from his temples, sliding down his pale cheeks into his collar. He was as wet as if he'd just been pulled out of water.

Huo Yanshen's heart felt like it had been squeezed hard.

He knew Shen Ling had been traumatized in his past life, carried shadows—but he hadn't expected his symptoms to be this severe.

This was unmistakably a full-blown panic attack.

What the hell had happened in the past life?

Huo Yanshen's clenched knuckles cracked. A restless anger churned in his chest. He had no way of knowing what had happened after his death in the past life except by asking Shen Ling.

But he didn't let it show on his face. He took a deep breath, shoving the surging heartache and resentment deep into his chest.

Now wasn't the time to ask.

Huo Yanshen crouched down.

Shen Ling's hands were still clawing wildly at the ground. One fingernail had already split, with a thin line of blood seeping out.

Huo Yanshen knelt on one knee beside Shen Ling, extended his right hand, palm up, and slowly but firmly covered Shen Ling's left hand.

Shen Ling's fingers curled sharply in his palm, then jerked back as if he'd been electrocuted.

"Don't come near—!" Shen Ling screamed hoarsely, flailing his arm violently and slamming his shoulder into the wall behind him.

His strength was astonishing—raw, fear-driven force, twisting and struggling with everything he had. His nails dug into the webbing between Huo Yanshen's thumb and index finger, raking out a bloody mark. His knee drove into Huo Yanshen's stomach, and his heels scraped against the tiles with a piercing screech.

Huo Yanshen didn't let go. He kept his arms around him, lifting Shen Ling completely off the ground and pulling him into his chest.

His broad shoulders were like a wall, blocking out the fear surging from every direction. Shen Ling struggled violently in his arms, his shoulder blades slamming against Huo Yanshen's arms, his fists pounding his chest—but Huo Yanshen didn't budge.

"Blood... I saw blood..." Shen Ling's voice came out in broken fragments.

Huo Yanshen lowered his head, his chin resting against Shen Ling's damp hair. "There's nothing. Look up. It's just me."

Shen Ling couldn't hear him at all. His pupils stayed unfocused, staring at his own empty palms, then he suddenly shuddered violently, as if seeing something even more terrifying.

"I killed someone," he said, his voice suddenly changing pitch, his lips trembling. "I killed someone... blood... his blood splattered on my hands... that knife... I killed someone—!"

He couldn't continue. His throat seemed to be gripped by something, leaving only breathy gasps.

Shen Ling brought his hands up to his eyes. There was nothing there, but he could still see it—

See those hands covered in dark red, scalding blood.

Huo Yanshen's heart felt like it was being carved out with a dull knife.

He grabbed Shen Ling's hand and pressed it against his own chest, covering Shen Ling's eyes with his other palm to shut out the hallucinations.

"You didn't," Huo Yanshen said, his voice low and steady, his lips against Shen Ling's damp temple, speaking each word deliberately. "You didn't kill anyone. Baby, come here."

"But the blood..."

"There's no blood." Huo Yanshen pressed his palm more firmly against the back of Shen Ling's neck, letting that most vulnerable spot truly feel the warmth. "You're safe."

Thump. Thump.

A steady heartbeat pulsed through his chest.

Shen Ling's mind, which had been falling for so long, finally found something to catch it.

The hands reaching out from the walls were gone. The floor beneath his feet stopped collapsing. The frantic pounding in his ears was gradually replaced by another sound.

It was his heartbeat. It was Huo Yanshen's.

Both their hearts were still beating in sync.

Huo Yanshen was alive.

Shen Ling's breathing finally slowed from that near-death pace, softening as he sank into Huo Yanshen's embrace.

"Let's get out of here, okay?" Huo Yanshen's voice came through. "I'll carry you out."

After a long moment, Shen Ling nodded faintly in his arms.

Huo Yanshen slid his arm under Shen Ling's knees and lifted him up completely.

*

Warm golden wall sconces spilled light across the hallway. Huo Yanshen's footsteps pressed into the carpet, silent and steady.

The person in his arms had shrunk into a tiny ball, his breathing gradually evening out, with occasional small twitches—like a child who had cried himself to sleep on an adult's shoulder.

His phone buzzed in the inner pocket of his suit jacket.

Huo Yanshen supported Shen Ling with one hand and fished out the phone with the other.

The screen showed Zhou Lin's name.

Zhou Lin said, "I just checked—Liu Xian isn't on tonight's guest list. He swapped invitations with Li Xingwei and came in under his name."

There was a pause on the other end. "...Everything okay over there?"

Huo Yanshen glanced down at the man in his arms.

Shen Ling's face was buried in the crook of his neck, his lashes wet and closed, his skin still frighteningly pale. The sweat stain spreading across the back of his shirt hadn't dried yet, clinging to his sharp shoulder blades—Huo Yanshen could feel the shape of his bones through the fabric.

"I'll get him settled first," Huo Yanshen said, his voice flat and emotionless, as if discussing something utterly ordinary.

"Tell Liu Xian that tomorrow night, I want to have a talk with him."