Chapter 12

Chapter 12

The warm yellow light of the corridor wall lamps cast a glow, but Shen Ling couldn't see anything clearly.

His vision finally sharpened the moment it landed on Huo Yanshen.

Shen Ling ran into Huo Yanshen's arms, wrapping his arms around Huo Yanshen's waist. "Where did you go..."

Huo Yanshen was pushed back half a step by the impact. He looked down at the person in his arms. The sleeve of Shen Ling's white robe had slipped down, revealing a wrist so slender the pale blue veins were visible, and right now those arms were clinging to him desperately, pressed tightly against him.

Shen Ling had been like this ever since what happened yesterday.

The air on the yacht felt saturated with the faces of Sun Yu and Liu Xian, those looming visages seeping out of memory, floating on the walls and ceiling.

Whenever Shen Ling closed his eyes, he saw that cramped equipment room—the harsh fluorescent light, the air thick with cigarette smoke and the stench of sweat.

Only when he was pressed against Huo Yanshen did those things recede, even if only a little.

Shen Ling buried his face deeper.

Then he suddenly stopped.

He brushed his nose against the front of Huo Yanshen's shirt and caught a faint, elusive metallic scent.

It was the smell of blood!

Shen Ling's pupils contracted. "You're hurt again?"

Huo Yanshen's tone was flat. "I'm not."

"But I smelled it," Shen Ling's voice grew urgent. "There's the smell of blood on you... Don't lie to me, let me check..."

"One of the crew members got injured just now," Huo Yanshen said, reaching out to stop Shen Ling's fumbling fingers, glancing sideways down the corridor. "Wen Pei's here too. Ask him."

Shen Ling turned to follow his gaze and only then did he notice another person standing in the hallway's shadows.

Wen Pei was their family physician. He had been so quiet he seemed almost invisible, and only now that he was addressed did he speak. "Right, that crew member got banged up pretty badly. There's a section of railing on the deck that's been corroded for years—dark night, strong wind, one misstep and he went right over."

As if that weren't enough, he added, "Though I gotta say, our Boss Huo here's got a real heart of gold. The way he jumped in to save that man, nobody could hold him back..."

"Enough." Huo Yanshen cut him off.

Wen Pei wisely shut his mouth.

Shen Ling's eyes widened slightly.

He knew it.

Huo Yanshen—on the surface he seemed cold and distant, but really, he had the kindest heart.

He was like that with Shen Ling, and he wouldn't stand by and watch a stranger die either. Seeing a crew member fall overboard, Huo Yanshen would definitely be the first to rush in.

But Shen Ling was still uneasy.

What if Huo Yanshen was hurt too, just hiding it so Shen Ling wouldn't worry? Shen Ling bit his lower lip, then suddenly reached out to check Huo Yanshen's arm, working his way down from the shoulder, pressing and checking carefully.

That trembling hand moved over Huo Yanshen's body—clearly terrified, yet forcing itself to hold steady.

Huo Yanshen gently lifted those hands off himself.

"Baby."

"Let me go take a shower first," Huo Yanshen said, looking down at Shen Ling, his thumb brushing lightly against the inside of Shen Ling's wrist. "Then you can hold me, okay?"

Once Shen Ling confirmed there were no wounds on Huo Yanshen's body, his hands finally stopped shaking. The warmth of Huo Yanshen's palm spread to him.

He nodded obediently.

Huo Yanshen took his hand and led him back. Shen Ling stumbled along after him, the hem of his robe sweeping across the hallway carpet as Huo Yanshen led him away.

Wen Pei watched the two figures disappear around the corner of the corridor. "Tsk tsk tsk. Never thought I'd see the day."

*

The cabin door closed, sealing off the outside world.

Shen Ling sat on the edge of the bed, legs dangling over the side, while Huo Yanshen showered.

He listened to the sound of the water, his mind still a mess.

He didn't dare think about whether those people were still on the boat. Yesterday he'd seen Sun Yu—was Liu Xian on board too?

Shen Ling drew his knees up and wrapped his arms around his shins. This position made him feel a little safer. His gaze landed on the bathroom door, where warm yellow light glowed through the frosted glass.

The water stopped.

The door opened, and Huo Yanshen stepped out in a clean dark blue robe, hair still dripping. He gave it a quick rub with a towel, then looked up and met Shen Ling's eyes.

Shen Ling was sitting on the bed, his head turning to follow him.

Huo Yanshen took two steps left to grab a bottle of water from the table—Shen Ling's gaze tracked left. He walked right to the wardrobe—Shen Ling's gaze followed right.

Like a sunflower.

Wherever Huo Yanshen went, Shen Ling's face turned toward him, eyes fixed without blinking, as if afraid he'd vanish if he blinked.

Huo Yanshen set down the water bottle and walked toward him.

Before he even reached him, Shen Ling released his grip around his knees and clutched the hem of Huo Yanshen's robe.

"Husband, I want to go home."

After what happened yesterday, Shen Ling hadn't been able to speak at all—just curled up in Huo Yanshen's arms, trembling all over, needing him to guide even his breathing.

But now, after waking from sleep, Shen Ling could finally talk again, could finally voice what he wanted.

So what he wanted was to go home.

Forget going home—if Shen Ling said he wanted to go to the moon right now, Huo Yanshen would have a spacecraft ready by nightfall.

Huo Yanshen gathered the hand clutching his robe into his palm.

"Okay. We're going home."

...

The helicopter's rotors churned the damp air above the sea, the roar of the engine growing closer until it landed steadily on the helipad at the yacht's stern.

Huo Yanshen wrapped Shen Ling in one of his own windbreakers. The coat was too big—the sleeves were too long, leaving only a few pale pink fingertips visible, and the hem barely reached mid-thigh.

Huo Yanshen bent down, slid an arm under Shen Ling's knees, and lifted him into his arms.

The helicopter door closed, and the yacht's lights gradually shrank outside the porthole, eventually becoming a tiny point of light on the sea.

The helicopter passed through the clouds, heading toward the city lights.

*

It was past midnight when the helicopter landed.

Shen Ling kept his face buried in the crook of Huo Yanshen's neck the entire way, eyes closed as if asleep, but Huo Yanshen knew he wasn't—because the hand clutching his shirt never let go, tightening every now and then with a spasmodic grip.

After Shen Ling finished showering, Huo Yanshen turned off the lights and pulled Shen Ling into his arms. Shen Ling's face pressed against his chest, legs touching legs, while Huo Yanshen's palm rested on Shen Ling's back, patting it idly.

This was Shen Ling's favorite position, and every time he was held like this, he would fall asleep before long.

But tonight, Shen Ling kept his eyes open, listening to Huo Yanshen's heartbeat while other images churned in his mind.

Liu Xian sat behind his desk, smiling with a sanctimonious air; Sun Yu stood nearby, a sleazy smirk curling at the corner of his mouth; and Shen Guoliang, drunk, brandishing a belt, cursing words Shen Ling couldn't quite catch...

Those images stabbed into his brain like shards of glass he couldn't pull out.

He'd thought coming home would fix it.

But now, even held so tight in Huo Yanshen's arms, those images still clung to him like sticky venom on his skin—couldn't peel them off, couldn't shake them loose.

It wasn't enough. Still wasn't enough.

A sourness surged up in Shen Ling's throat.

He suddenly felt like a bottomless pit—Huo Yanshen kept pouring things in, but it never filled up.

"Huo Yanshen." His voice came out muffled against Huo Yanshen's chest.

Huo Yanshen answered right away: "Mm, what's wrong?"

Shen Ling was quiet for a few seconds, then asked, "Will you ever leave me?"

In the dark, Huo Yanshen pulled him tighter. "No."

Shen Ling pressed his lips together. "If I've done something really terrible to you before, would you forgive me?"

Huo Yanshen said evenly, "Whatever you do, I'll forgive you."

He said it flatly, the same way he said everything—no room for doubt, no room for argument.

But Shen Ling just couldn't make himself believe it.

Huo Yanshen was here now, holding him, saying he wouldn't leave. But what about when the one-year marriage contract was up? Huo Yanshen had only proposed this contract marriage in the first place to steady the public narrative.

Shen Ling had wondered more than once what would happen if Huo Yanshen had been reborn too.

He felt the relief of someone who'd survived a disaster, grateful Huo Yanshen had no memories of the past life.

Otherwise, how would he ever pay that debt? When Huo Yanshen was at rock bottom, gasping his last breath in pain, where had Shen Ling been? If Huo Yanshen had woken up with those memories, Shen Ling wouldn't even deserve to be held like this.

It was exactly because Huo Yanshen hadn't been reborn that Shen Ling could keep lying to himself. Pretending nothing had ever happened, pretending he could take this kindness without guilt.

But what if one day Huo Yanshen opened his eyes and the look in them was different? What if those memories suddenly came rushing back...

The thoughts in Shen Ling's head were like a swarm of headless flies, buzzing and slamming around, making his temples pound.

Shen Ling's body started trembling on its own, his breathing going fast, the air in his chest never enough no matter how hard he breathed in.

He needed something to yank him out of this state, something that could crush all the crazy thoughts.

He suddenly remembered that night on the yacht when he'd gotten drunk, all his fear and unease washed away in that near-loss of control. At that moment, his head had been empty—nothing but Huo Yanshen. It was like being dragged up from deep water, breaking the surface for a second, gasping in a mouthful of air.

He was like an addict, hooked after a single hit.

"Can't forget it." Shen Ling said suddenly.

Huo Yanshen glanced down. "What?"

"What if I still can't forget them?"

Shen Ling lifted his face from Huo Yanshen's chest. His eyes were red, his lips bitten white. "Every time I close my eyes, I see them. I can't get them out of my head no matter what."

Huo Yanshen's palm covered the back of his head. "I'll take you to see a doctor tomorrow, alright?"

"I don't want to see a doctor." Shen Ling shook his head.

In his past life, he'd only seen a therapist twice—both times he walked in smiling and walked out crying.

Shen Ling got even more scared. All he could do was tilt his face up to look at Huo Yanshen, looking for some sense of safety.

Moonlight split Huo Yanshen's face into light and shadow, those dark eyes looking down at him, deep and calm.

Shen Ling held his gaze for a few seconds, then suddenly leaned in and pressed his lips to Huo Yanshen's.

He opened his mouth, his tongue slipping between Huo Yanshen's lips. His fingers slid up Huo Yanshen's chest, wrapped around the back of his neck, then trailed down the side of his throat, fingertips grazing his Adam's apple, slipping into the collar of his sleep shirt, working their way down.

From Huo Yanshen's angle, Shen Ling was tilting his face up to kiss him.

That face was porcelain-white, almost see-through, moonlight spreading a thin layer over it. The corners of his eyes were wet and red, and his lips, swollen from biting, had gone an unnatural crimson, slick with moisture.

So beautiful it made your chest ache.

Like a porcelain vase that had been smashed and hastily glued back together, light leaking through the cracks.

Huo Yanshen let Shen Ling kiss him for a bit, then reached out, pressed down on his shoulder, and gently pushed him back a few inches.

He dropped his gaze, expression serious. "No."

Shen Ling's lashes trembled slightly.

Huo Yanshen: "You're not in a good place right now. You need rest, not this."

Shen Ling stared at him blankly, lips still slightly parted, whatever saliva was on them glistening in the moonlight.

He blinked, then whispered suddenly, "I know... I know..."

He said it twice, his voice getting softer each time, like he was talking to himself.

...

"Shen Ling." Huo Yanshen caught his wrist.

Shen Ling didn't pull away, just looked up at him. "I keep feeling like you're going to disappear."

Huo Yanshen's fingers went stiff.

In that split second of Huo Yanshen's hesitation, Shen Ling's fingers had already slipped in.

Shen Ling's palms were too small, his knuckles tinged a faint pink.

Shen Ling buried his face in the crook of Huo Yanshen's neck, his breathing growing quicker and quicker, half his tongue slipping past his lips—the tip rosy and upturned, glistening with the moisture just licked from Huo Yanshen's Adam's apple, a thin strand of saliva breaking at the corner of his mouth. His eyes were half-lidded, lashes wet and drooping, looking at once disheveled and beautiful.

Huo Yanshen's pupils lingered on that face for a few seconds, the color of his pupils suddenly darkened—like fathomless seawater stirred up from its depths, roiling with thick shadows.

He stared at Shen Ling. "Do you know what you're doing?"

His voice wasn't calm anymore—dropped low, like the rumble of thunder before a storm breaks.

The heat in his palm traveled from his fingertips all the way through his body, leaving Shen Ling's lower back numb.

The bedsheet lay crumpled, a small dark patch of dampness spreading across it, glinting with a secret sheen under the moonlight.

Shen Ling heard Huo Yanshen ask him.

He tilted his face up, moonlight spilling across it, catching the fine beads of sweat on the tip of his nose—like a kitten that had finally found milk, barely able to grip it, yet stubbornly refusing to let go.

Shen Ling narrowed his eyes, tongue still hanging out, voice slurred and indistinct, pupils unfocused as he gazed at Huo Yanshen:

"I know... hubby..."

==========Author's Note:==========

Baby Shen: My husband is really such a kind and simple-hearted man~

Last time on the yacht, when he saw a crew member in trouble, he rushed over without a second thought to help. He's so righteous (′▽`)

President Huo (dark version): Kill kill kill kill kill!

Anyone who's ever bullied my wife! Left hook, right hook, uppercut, low blow, groin-crushing kick, grave-dancing punch!! Scatter their ashes and scatter them again!! Not a single one gets away!!!