Chapter 44

Chapter 44

When he opened his eyes again, the dream had changed.

This time, he was in an unfamiliar cave, with the constant sound of rushing water around him, devoid of the previous overpowering stench of blood.

In the air, there was a faint, damp fragrance.

The entrance was planted with soothing herbs and flowers, and the ground was swept clean, showing signs of careful arrangement.

A few steps into the cave, Xie Zhi Gui caught sight of that person again.

But something was a bit strange.

Sitting on the stone bed, leaning against the wall with eyelids drooping and eyes void of sparkle, he was draped loosely in Ming Fei Yu's coat. He remained silent, holding a posture without movement, unresponsive to ants biting his skin or the splash of the waterfall on his face, as if he had lost his senses, becoming a witless soul incapable of self-care.

Xie Zhigui approached and tentatively pushed him, but his hand passed right through his body.

The young man seemed to sense something, turning his head sluggishly. Xie Zhigui thought he resembled a broken wind-up toy that made creaking noises at the slightest joint movement.

The man looked at him woodenly, and Xie Zhigui met his gaze, his movement pausing briefly, but soon realized the man was not actually looking at him.

"I'm back."

A familiar voice came from behind. Xie Zhigui turned to see Ming Fei Yu smiling as he approached, then walked right through his apparition towards the young man on the stone bed.

He sat beside the young man, lifted his face, and tenderly wiped away the droplets, chiding softly, "Why didn't you dodge the splashing water? You're all wet."

The young man did not respond, just gazed at him blankly.

After drying off, he followed the gentle tugs of Ming Fei Yu, leaning back and lying in his arms with his face turned upwards. His gaze rested on the ceiling above as he remained passive to Ming Fei Yu's words and actions, exhibiting no emotional response, akin to a puppet at the mercy of others.

Ming Fei Yu seemed accustomed to his demeanor, stroking his face while prattling on to himself about recent events, as if having a one-sided conversation.

Even though he couldn't hear at all.

Nevertheless, Ming Fei Yu continued to speak with patience, tenderness, and enthusiasm, narrating where he had been, whom he had met, and what he had done.

For the first time, Xie Zhi Gui realized that Ming Fei Yu could be quite the chatterbox when with a loved one, having an endless stream of words to share.

As Ming Fei Yu spoke, he would idly play with his long hair, eventually twirling it around his ear.

Then, he would gently brush aside the stray hairs on his face, fixating on the beautiful visage before him, unable to resist pausing to plant a soft kiss on his smooth forehead.

Upon reflection, a single kiss seemed insufficient, leading him to further steal fragrant kisses from the eyes, lips, the side of the neck... over and over in a tantalizing and wearisome intimacy, yet still, there was no reaction.

Gradually, Ming Fei Yu ceased his playful teasing, gazing quietly and intently at the face of his love, as if lost in a trance.

The one lying upon his knees was like the most exquisite painting in the world, requiring no elaborate embellishment, merely lying there, it could captivate all his attention.

After a while, Ming Fei Yu, perhaps satisfied with his observation, intentionally rubbed the outer corner of his eye until it reddened, then asked with eager anticipation, "Does it hurt?"

The young man still had his eyes fixed on the ceiling, expressionless and silent, his pupils veiled by a milky film.

He was barely aware of the outside world, his consciousness almost entirely shuttered.

Seeing this, Ming Fei Yu could no longer sustain the facade of this solitary charade, forcing out a wan and helpless smile.

The temperature inside the cave plummeted suddenly, and those tender moments of warmth were dampened by the mist, crashing heavily to the ground.

Knowing full well that the person in his arms wouldn't respond, he still hoped for some kind of reaction.

Any reaction would do—opening his hand, an annoyed glance telling him to stop the nonsense, or even a mere flutter of the eyelids would be better than enduring the solitude of a monologue.

Agony and loneliness surged in his eyes; the tumultuous waves of love tormented the only one who was fully conscious.

"Alright, I'll stop teasing you."

It wasn't long before Ming Fei Yu conceded to his silence, lifting him up and holding him tightly, as if fearing he'd vanish if he let go.

Ming Fei Yu sighed deeply: "Let's change your wet clothes, to avoid catching a cold, okay?"

The young man made no movement.

The next second, holding his face, he said, "If you don't speak, I'll take that as your agreement."

Though the young man had little consciousness, his basic physical instincts remained; he would stay still while his buttons were undone and would cooperatively lift his arms slightly as Ming Fei Yu removed his clothes, who would look at him with a glimmer of hope, only to see it fall to the depths upon meeting his still indifferent gaze.

The young man didn't understand what was happening, lacking subjective awareness, merely cooperating and depending instinctively.

With the wet clothes changed, Ming Fei Yu lay down with the person in his arms.

It appeared to be a tender and sweet scene.

However, from where Xie Zhi Gui stood, one could see the unusual expression on Ming Fei Yu's face.

He couldn't comprehend why Ming Fei Yu would show such a sorrowful expression.

The object of his ardent desire was now lying quietly in his embrace; he could watch over him, share his breath, and their skin could touch. Yet, he felt extreme unease, constantly fearful of losing him. Holding him tightly, daring not to let go for even a moment, was the only way to provide a resting place for his anxious heart.

Xie Zhi Gui watched coldly from the sidelines, his sarcasm for Ming Fei Yu's self-inflicted plight sharp. If only he'd let go, none of this would have happened.

Seeing the distress on that detestable face brought a hint of balance to his own emotions.

But then, an incredible fragment of memory flashed through his mind—the young man had sealed his own consciousness.

He was stunned, and involuntarily blurted out, "Why?"

Xie Zhi Gui remembered how he had merely slashed Ming Fei Yu once and was humiliated all night, whereas this person had actually stabbed Ming Fei Yu. How did he dare to continue staying by Ming Fei Yu's side?

"Why choose to become a puppet on strings voluntarily, forsaking your own defenses? You almost killed Ming Fei Yu. Aren’t you afraid he’ll retaliate and torment you to death?"

"I am in pain," a voice in his head suppressed and trembling with sorrow.

Something pricked Xie Zhi Gui's heart, his emotions inexplicably swayed by the other's.

"So tormented that you’d escape into this half-dead existence?"

This time, there was no voice in his mind, swallowed by the heavy, complex river of memories.

It seemed like the previous moment was nothing but an illusion.

But the pain wasn't yours alone.

He looked at Ming Fei Yu, who stubbornly enclosed his lover in his arms.

A lover without consciousness, who would comply unconditionally to his demands, no matter how unreasonable, never getting angry, never resisting.

Obedient, dependent, clinging.

He could do anything to him, but in return, he would never see the affection and attachment he longed for in his lover’s eyes.

No matter how close they got, no matter how intimate, Ming Fei Yu would always be engulfed in a deep sense of loss.

Ming Fei Yu lifted the young man’s face, gazing into his eyes, as if trying to peer into his very soul.

After a long time, seemingly unable to bear the numb and hollow gaze any longer, he covered the youth's eyes with his palm, gently closing his eyelids.

"If you don't want to talk, then don't," Ming Feiyu sighed softly, abandoning the attempt to make the youth speak. He drew the youth back into his embrace and ruffled his hair.

"Rather than having you wake up and hate me, arguing with me, it's better for you to remain quietly unconscious, unaware of the storms in the outside world, forgetting the pain of the past."

"Being a well-behaved wooden puppet is also good: obedient, trouble-free, not wandering off, not getting hurt."

Ming Feiyu's voice trembled, "At least you need me, can only rely on me."

"Finally, you only have me."

Ming Feiyu buried his head deeply into the youth's hair and neck, murmuring as if in pain, as if declaring his love, like a child abandoned countless times finally finding a shelter that can protect him from the wind and rain.

Xie Zhigui watched the two of them quietly, unable to muster any ridicule.

How strange.