Chapter 49

Chapter 49

As soon as Xie Zhigui's words fell, a sudden unnatural wind arose from nowhere, Mingfei Yu as if not having heard clearly, stepped closer to Xie Zhigui, looking down at him emotionlessly: "What did you say?"

"I..."

Whether it was intentional or not, the sense of oppression he emanated was palpable. A simple phrase got caught in Xie Zhigui's throat, struggling to come out several times.

Only when he stepped back, widening the gap between him and Ming Fei Yu, could he look directly into Ming Fei Yu's eyes and pronounce each word clearly and forcefully: "I need to go back."

His stance was resolute.

At this, Ming Fei Yu calmed down, his expression unreadable, and asked, "Why?"

Xie Zhigui silently rehearsed the well-memorized excuse in his mind once more before saying, "My companions are still outside. If they don't see us come out, they will surely panic and might call the police, which I fear would cause you a lot of trouble."

Before he could finish, Ming Fei Yu let out a disdainful chuckle, as if Xie Zhigui's concerns were less significant than a pebble beneath his feet.

Xie Zhigui's face shifted slightly: "Why are you laughing?"

Ming Fei Yu replied, "I'm laughing at you. How come you're so adept at playing with people's emotions, yet falter at fabricating other lies?"

"How am I playing with emotions? I—"

Xie Zhigui was suddenly choked up, and upon a calmer reflection, he realized that Ming Fei Yu wasn't wrong.

He had always been self-centered, rarely revealing his true feelings. With his looks, temperament, and outstanding achievements, coupled with a cool demeanor that often ignited others' desire to conquer, he attracted many admirers of both genders. However, he never truly cared for anyone. On the occasional times he did show a pleasant face, it was only because that person had something he needed.

He could be kind to others, but not selflessly so. He could be friendly, but he wasn’t so soft-hearted as to accept someone’s pursuit just because they put in a little effort.

Everything had to be measured; he used his rationality and indifference to draw a protective circle around himself.

But Ming Fei Yu was the sole exception.

He couldn't stop him from breaking in, nor could he manage to drive him away.

At a loss for how to explain himself to Ming Fei Yu, Xie Zhigui could only set aside the jumble of thoughts in his mind, straighten his expression, and look up at Ming Fei Yu, who had somehow closed in without notice.

"I really do have to go back."

He repeated, "There’s no time left, I must leave."

Ming Fei Yu said coldly, "What if I refuse to let you go?"

Xie Zhigui replied earnestly, "Then, I would go mad."

Ming Fei Yu suddenly burst into laughter, as if he had heard some unbelievable joke, and taunted without restraint, "The idea of me going mad is far more convincing than you."

Xie Zhi Gui's expression darkened slightly: "I’m not lying."

His words were not a joke or a fabricated threat to Ming Fei Yu, but a true fear of losing his sanity, all his consciousness replaced by someone else.

Seeing Ming Fei Yu's disbelief, Xie Zhi Gui continued, "I am very aware of my current state."

Ming Fei Yu’s smile faded, his brow furrowed as he scanned Xie Zhi Gui’s face, which, he now realized in his anger, looked worse than before—so pale that he scarcely seemed alive.

Looking downward, Ming Fei Yu suddenly grasped his wrist, and his expression turned at the sight of the wound in his palm.

“How did you get this injury!”

Xie Zhi Gui struggled but couldn’t pull his hand back, saying helplessly, “I fell by accident.”

“Fell?”

Ming Fei Yu clearly didn’t believe this cursory explanation. What kind of fall would scrape off the skin on the palm and all five fingertips? There were splinters embedded in the flesh!

Ming Fei Yu pressed down his anger abruptly, trying to speak calmly, “Come back with me first to apply some medicine.”

Xie Zhi Gui pushed him away, resisting, “I’m not going back!”

“What on earth are you planning to do!”

As he roared in fury, leaves cascaded to the ground with a rustle, and the curious red worms nearby swiftly retracted their extended necks, blinking away into the safety of the flower beds.

Xie Zhigui's silence and his evasive gaze filled with guilt only solidified the other's suspicions. In an instant, rage ignited within his chest, burning fiercely.

"Are you trying to harm yourself again?!"

Xie Zhigui blinked in bewilderment: "...What?"

Seeing the mix of anger and pain on Ming Feiyu's face, he quickly understood and hurried to clarify, "No, it's not what you think; it was just an accident. Don't be so sensitive."

"An accident?"

Ming Feiyu forcefully pulled him closer until they were almost touching. He stared into Xie Zhigui's dilated pupils and asked in a deep voice, "If I hadn't agreed to take you back today, how would you have threatened me?"

"Or rather, how do you plan to harm yourself this time?!"

Xie Zhigui was rendered speechless by the chilling intensity emanating from him, unsure of how to respond.

Yet, to Ming Fei Yu, silence was a tacit admission; an admission that he would resort to extreme self-harm to force a compromise.

Ming Fei Yu's hands trembled with anger. How could he be so heartless, repeatedly tormenting with such mutually destructive methods!

"Speak!"

Xie Zhigui: "I wouldn't do that."

Ming Fei Yu scoffed, "You wouldn’t?"

The unspoken accusation was—hadn't he already perfected this tactic to an art form?

"I really wouldn’t."

Xie Zhigui lifted his face, so close that he could see every bloodshot line in Ming Fei Yu's eyes, close enough that a mere tip-toe would bring him into contact.

It was a distance fraught with ambiguity and allure, his soft voice enough to daze and ensnare one in a web woven from gentleness.

"I don’t want to upset you, so I won’t do it again."

"Can you trust me just one more time?"

Ming Fei Yu gave him a profound look, Xie Zhigui's gaze in return was full of sincere plea, like an innocent youth beckoning in the sunlight, radiance glittering on his shoulders.

Should he believe him? A voice inside asked.

The standoff lasted a long while.

In the end, he reached out and took his hand.

This time, Xie Zhigui obediently followed him back.

He was afraid Ming Fei Yu would go mad again, especially since, for a moment, the memory of nearly being strangled by him flashed before his eyes.

On the way, he lowered his head, sneaking glances at Ming Fei Yu's pallid profile, touching his neck where the pain, like an aftereffect, still lingered.

He had only mentioned wanting to return, and Ming Fei Yu had reacted so violently; if he tried to run away again, as before, who knew to what extent Ming Fei Yu might lose his sanity.

Last time it was your neck, what about this time? Were you planning to break your own legs?

Xie Zhigui couldn't bear to think further.

Forget it, he sighed silently to himself; reasoning with a monster was futile.

Better to wait a bit longer, for his own good as well as for Ming Feiyu's.

Ming Feiyu caught every bit of his contemplative and troubled demeanor from the corner of his eye, said nothing, asked nothing, only held him closer.

Once back in the wooden cabin, Ming Feiyu brought him to the table and pressed him down by the shoulders to sit, then went to find some medicine and bandages.

When he went into the inner room, Xie Zhigui looked at the wound on his hand, then towards the window. The part of the window he had pressed had caved in, and on the wall remained fine, dry, blackened trails of blood.

Ming Feiyu would soon learn how he had been hurt. How would he explain when the other demanded the reasons?

Not everything can be shared, even between the closest of lovers; there are always secrets that must be kept hidden from the other.

Besides, they were not lovers, not by any stretch.

At that thought, Xie Zhigui felt a twitch in his palm; the wound seemed to flare up with a burning pain. He steadied his trembling wrist, eyes downturned, the long curled lashes concealing his private heartaches.

Those pains and trials that would forever remain unknown to another, reserved solely for him to endure alone in the silent nights, in the cold solitude of his bed, curled against the wall, silently chewing over them until the dawn breaks...

Upon stepping out, Ming Fei Yu saw Xie Zhigui staring blankly at the wound in his palm, his expression indescribably forlorn or sorrowful, which inexplicably quenched the fire of anger within him.

He intended to tread lightly towards him, but Xie Zhigui, with acute awareness, sensed his approach. In the moment he turned his head, all emotion receded like the tide, leaving behind a smooth, barren beach, indifferently greeting the harsh sun and the sea breeze.

Less than ten meters apart, it felt as though there were ten mountains stretching between them; they looked at each other across the distance, unsure of where to begin.

A streak of white light from the doorway cast a huge, seemingly insurmountable crack on the floor; one sat on this side, the other stood looking from the other end.

Ming Fei Yu paused for a moment, then stepped over that beam of light and returned to Xie Zhigui's side, set down his belongings, and took a seat.

"Spread your hand out."

"Mhm," Xie Zhigui complied obediently.

Throughout the process of treating his wounds, Ming Fei Yu didn't glance at him once, nor did she utter another word.

Xie Zhi Gui observed her icy demeanor, wanting several times to say something to break the ice, yet he didn't know how to start.

Once she finished, she rose and walked outside.

Xie Zhi Gui hesitated for a moment before calling out to her: "Ming Fei Yu."

Ming Fei Yu had just reached the steps; she definitely heard him but didn't stop for him. She stepped down and vanished from sight.

Unable to sit still, Xie Zhi Gui followed, standing at the doorway only to see the empty courtyard. The curious red bugs poked their heads out from the foliage, looking at him as if wondering what he had just said to Ming Fei Yu to drive her away.

"I didn't mean to upset her."

After he spoke, the red bugs stared at him even more gossip-hungry, their disbelief practically written on their faces.

“……”

With a heavy heart and unable to voice his troubles, Xie Zhi Gui felt an even greater headache coming on, clueless as to how things had come to this.

Just a single sentence had pushed their already taut relationship to the edge of a cliff.

The most troublesome thing was the fear that Ming Fei Yu would never trust his words again.

He slammed the door frame as if to vent, using up all his strength. Then, his fist weakened, and he slumped down, squatting in exhaustion, staring into the distance.

He waited at the doorway for a long time, but Ming Fei Yu did not appear. As the air grew colder, he hugged himself, buried his head in the crook of his arm, becoming an immovable stone the howling wind could not carry away.

"Do you know where she went?" Xie Zhi Gui suddenly looked up and asked the red bugs.

The bugs nodded, flew out of the flowerbed, and gestured for Xie Zhi Gui to follow them.

Xie Zhi Gui stood up, his figure tall and lean in the wind, casting a long and solitary shadow on the ground.

This time, it was his turn to seek out Ming Fei Yu.