Chapter 586: I Am Me, I Am Not Me (1)

Chapter 586: I Am Me, Yet Not Me (Part 1)

Yun Mujing had the gold-clad secret guards deliver that letter, and when Yun Ji read it, he could only sigh helplessly at Yun Mujing's mischief.

Back in Langjing, they had agreed that Prince Yun Ji did not need to "return from the dead," yet Yun Mujing had still considered the difficulties his brother might face and paved the way for him.

"A-Jing has truly grown up. He no longer needs his elder brother's protection—now, it's him who protects me time and again."

Holding the letter between his fingers, Yun Ji could feel Yun Mujing's deep care for him in every word. This affection made him eager to take Su Rao to the renovated princely residence in Yun County.

The old Cloud King's estate in Yun County held the purest childhood memories of the original Yun Ji, Yun Mujing, and Su Rao—memories they hadn’t lived through but still felt deeply.

Their own childhood bond in Great Qin had been just as pure, as had Rong Xiao and Yun Mujing's decade-long friendship in Langjing.

"Rao Rao, what did Yun Ji ever do to deserve brothers like Yu Mo and A-Jing, family like my grandparents, and even Uncle Royal, who, despite his schemes, genuinely cared for me? And above all, to have you as my beloved. If I still refuse to be Yun Ji, wouldn’t that be ungrateful?"

Upon arriving at the princely residence, they saw the plaque above the gate had been replaced—no longer "Cloud King's Residence," but now inscribed with "Jì Yuè’s Gentle Breeze," symbolizing tranquility and beauty. The luminous moonlit glow shone against a gilded backdrop, dazzling and vivid.

The estate had been renovated entirely in Yun Ji’s favored hues of moonlight. Pavilions and waterside gazebos stood elegantly, while a freshly planted bamboo grove mirrored the one in Qingfengju.

The rear courtyard’s pavilion was a perfect recreation of Qingfengju in Langjing, with one key difference: the front courtyard was not modeled after the Cloud King’s residence but preserved their childhood memories through refurbished halls and chambers.

Perhaps this was Yun Mujing’s last gesture of reluctance to let go of the real Yun Ji—and his lingering attachment to the real Su Rao.

In the corner of the rear pavilion’s courtyard, the apricot tree Su Rao always climbed still stood. Over a decade later, it remained full of life. Though bare in winter, its branches promised lush foliage in spring and abundant fruit in summer.

Suddenly, an image of Yun Mujing and Su Rao as children flashed through Su Rao’s mind.

Undoubtedly, the domineering little Su Rao would have climbed the tree in a flash, then pulled Yun Mujing up after her, using it to vault into Yun Ji’s courtyard.

Su Rao must have been agile as a monkey, darting up and down, while Yun Mujing—wearing a girl’s dress—would clumsily snag his skirt on the branches, earning Su Rao’s scolding: "Little A-Jing, why are you so clumsy?"

Despite her annoyance, her small hands would still hurry to untangle his skirt.

"You’ve imagined quite a scene, Rao Rao. But what about Yun Ji? What would he have been doing?"

Listening to Su Rao describe her mental image, Yun Ji couldn’t help but smile at the amusing thought. The real Yun Ji had carried himself with innate nobility, a child prodigy who wrote scholarly treatises at the age of seven. Had he lived, his brilliance would have placed him atop the highest peaks, commanding the world’s admiration.

"The real Yun Ji..."

Resting her chin on her hand in thought, Su Rao’s gaze lingered on the Yun Ji before her.

The moonlight tonight set the perfect scene. The newly renovated estate was aglow with lanterns, lit by servants before their arrival, as bright as daylight.

The light fell upon Yun Ji, highlighting his peerless grace. Recalling their first meeting—also on a snowy day—she remembered how he had walked toward her, graceful and unhurried. In that instant, her mind went utterly blank, all thoughts vanishing.

Thinking back, Su Rao said:

"Yun Ji, I think he would have held a scroll in his hand, standing by this corner like a serious little grown-up, watching with a mix of helplessness and resignation—playing lookout."

"Hah!"

Yun Ji laughed aloud.

She had guessed half-right. The real Yun Ji had indeed been helplessly resigned, but he hadn’t held a scroll. Instead, he and Yun Ling would have stood ready to catch them, afraid Su Rao’s wildness might make Yun Mujing fall.

"Is that so?"

Su Rao nodded, unfazed by the real Yun Ji’s childhood actions. But if it were him now, she’d be stunned by his protective gesture—what would that look like?

A refined young boy spreading his arms, shuffling his feet cautiously, his expression full of worry as the little girl on the wall might be pulled down unsteadily by another. Such a scene, like an immortal stumbling into the mortal realm, added a touch of liveliness.

"Yun Ji, how about you catch me? We’ve never played around like they did. Back then, you were all silly and cute, with that fierce little pout, just sitting under the corridor staring at the moon in the sky."

Releasing Yun Ji’s hand, Su Rao leaped onto the wall, perching on the spindly apricot tree.

The spot where Su Rao stood was directly beneath the moon, but Yun Ji no longer gazed at it. Instead, his focus locked on the person whose foot was about to slip. Before he could even spread his arms, she had already jumped down.

"Rao Rao."

In a rush, Yun Ji opened his arms, stepping forward just in time to catch Su Rao in a full embrace.

"That was fun."

She leapt down without her martial arts grace, knowing the person below would surely catch her. Su Rao wrapped her arms around Yun Ji’s neck. Seeing his dazed expression, she leaned close and breathed into his ear:

"Yun Ji, let’s get married too. After the winter snow, when spring returns to the earth—let’s get married then!"

A buzz filled his ears. Yun Ji seemed not to have heard her clearly, but his scattered thoughts snapped back.

"What did you say, Rao Rao? Say that again. I missed it."

The woman before him, her smile radiant, her enchanting peach blossom eyes tinged with a natural rosy hue at the corners. Every glance was a lure, her crescent-moon eyes when she smiled incomparable, unmatched by anyone.

"I said, we get married! Next spring, in March—we’ll make a vow to grow old together."

Since Yun Ji hadn’t heard, Su Rao repeated it, this time spelling it out, sealing their lifelong promise. Neither could back out midway, leaving the other alone.

"March, a vow to grow old together."

He murmured. Yun Ji’s expression flickered for a moment before he suddenly tightened his embrace, his lips brushed hers. There was no force, just a gentle touch, savoring each other’s warmth.

Since she first showed him affection, he had become insatiable, greedy for more—so much so that even knowing his true self, he refused to share her.

Rao Rao wanted to marry him. Next spring, the season they first met, the season she met Ah Xiao, the season she recognized him. She beat him to the question—she had lost patience.

"Rao Rao, you’re still impatient. Are you afraid I’ll erase Yun Ji? You told Ning Wanyue that I am me, but the 'me' in your heart isn’t truly me."

His words echoed in her ear. Su Rao, who had been enjoying the moment, opened her eyes abruptly. The one who had held her close now released her, his eyes shadowed with quiet hurt. But he didn’t step back or flee as he usually would.

"You overheard my conversation with Sister Ning that night. How much did you hear? How much of your own memories can you even grasp? Let’s talk."

Su Rao’s shock lasted only a moment. The fact that he hadn’t run away this time filled her with nothing but joy.

Because he knew—if he fled without explanation, refusing to listen, licking his wounds alone, she would be furious. And it would be the kind of anger he couldn’t soothe. The old her would never forgive even a single mistake. Though she had changed now, that didn’t mean she would compromise for him repeatedly.

Some mistakes could be forgiven, but others couldn’t be made over and over. To knowingly repeat them wasn’t love—it was recklessly squandering the love they’d fought for.