Chapter 46

Chapter 46

Gentle golden sunlight cascaded in like water, casting faint, swaying shadows on the walls and sofa through the lattice of the curtains.

A tranquil silence reigned, infused with laziness.

Breath brushed against his face, carrying a subtly sweet familiarity.

Xi Ze's eyelashes fluttered, and he opened his eyes soundlessly, his gaze immediately filled with Yale's sleeping face.

The male insectoid slept deeply. In contrast to his calm gentleness when awake, his lips were slightly pursed in slumber, the corners of his eyes tinged with a faint red, as if he had suffered some injustice in his dreams.

—It was enough to make one's heart ache with tenderness, yearning to enfold him in an embrace and shower him with kisses.

Xi Ze studied the sleeping face of the male insectoid for a while before realizing that Yale was lying on the extended part of the sofa.

Yale still wore the shirt from yesterday, one collar curled up from sleep. The blanket on him was disheveled, creating creases, yet his posture exuded a relaxed comfort.

He knew that Yale had gone to the auction yesterday, but fearing detection, and due to the stringent security at the auction house, the undercover team had only surrounded the building covertly, waiting to rush in if anything unusual occurred.

The feedback didn't disclose what exactly Yale had done.

Xi Ze sat motionless on the sofa for most of the night, only closing his eyes for a brief rest once he received the news of the male insect's safe return.

During that interval, he seemed to sense some movement. But after catching a whiff of an intensely rich caramel scent, a wave of intense fatigue and dizziness swiftly overwhelmed him... and then he arrived at the present moment.

"Um..."

Lost in thought, a muffled snuffle came from right in front of him.

As Yale was on the verge of waking up, a ray of sunlight pierced his eyes, causing him to groggily bury himself deeper into the blankets.

Soon, a warm hand rested on his eyelids, shielding him from the sunlight in a gentle embrace. Surprisingly, this action somewhat awakened him.

"Xi Ze?"

Indeed, a familiar deep and hoarse voice rang in Yale's ear, causing his ears to twitch. "Good morning, my alpha."

"Good morning..."

Yale acknowledged the call, slowly regaining his senses. After a moment, he reached out to gently pull the male's hand down and turned to face Xi Ze.

"Did you notice any changes in yourself?"

The male before him had exquisite features, with a smile that seemed to have been shattered and scattered across his eyes, appearing lazy yet strikingly attractive in the morning light.

Xi Ze was momentarily lost in thought before he realized Yale's question. He propped himself up, somewhat confused. "What changes...?"

In the next second, his pupils constricted.

The female before him was rigid, his expression oscillating between bewilderment and disbelief. So stunned was he that even his eyelashes seemed frozen in place, taking a good dozen seconds to regain his composure.

With a dazed expression, he reached for his throat, his fingertips trembling uncontrollably—

There used to be a black collar clasped tightly around it, a symbol of humiliation and inferiority. Now, however, it was empty.

That collar had been too tight, constantly pressing against the major artery on his neck, affecting his trachea and esophagus, causing an uncomfortable sensation of suffocation that reminded him of his disgrace at every moment.

But now—the collar was nowhere to be found around his neck.

Freedom.

It was the feeling of freedom that he hadn't experienced in five long years.

"I'm sorry for not being with you last night during the celebration. Consider this my apology."

Yale rolled onto his back and gazed at the dazed and lost expression on the male's face, chuckling softly with a languid air.

Those words seemed to rouse the male from his dream. The almost motionless golden eyes suddenly flickered, like a blade shattering ice, scattering a million fragments of shimmering crystal.

Tears, flowing unchecked, sparkled in the sunlight. Each droplet reflected the image of the male's curved eyebrows and smiling eyes.

"Male Sovereign..."

The male shook his head unconsciously, whispering silently.

A sharp wave of bitterness surged from the back of his throat, up to his nose and tear ducts, instantly piercing through his defenses. It was so overwhelming that he momentarily lost control of his facial expressions.

Yale took a deep breath and then gradually relaxed his entire body.

He didn't dare look at Xi Ze again, for fear that he might inadvertently reveal his reluctance, spoiling the joy of the male's regained freedom.

But every word he was about to say was sincere.

They were promises he had made to the male long ago, ones he never hid from Elaine or any other insectoid—

"You are free, not anyone's slave. You don't have to be bound to anyone."

"This is my New Year's gift to you."

"Happy New Year, Xi Ze," Yale said with utmost solemnity.

He knew what this meant to Xi Ze, so he would go through any trouble to obtain it, without considering whether it was worth it or not.

In the next second, Yale's vision blurred, and a heavy weight suddenly pressed against his chest, making him grunt in pain.

Unconsciously, he reached out and grasped a handful of soft hair around his neck. "Ah… Xi Ze?"

The female was hugging him tightly, palms pressing firmly against his shoulders and waist, holding him securely in his embrace.

Through the thin blanket, the scorching body heat and uncontrollable trembling were transmitted with striking clarity.

Warm liquid trickled down his neck, seeming to sear through flesh as it flowed.

Yale's heart trembled, and he couldn't resist wrapping his arms around the other, trying to sound casual as he comforted him.

"Are you this agitated? Anyway, once your injuries heal, you'd find a way to remove that slave collar yourself. I've just brought the outcome forward a bit."

No, it's not the same.

"Mate... Mate..."

Xi Ze pressed his face into the male's shoulder, desperately suppressing the sobbing sounds in his throat. Yet, he couldn't stop the overwhelming emotions or the salty tears continuously sliding down his cheeks.

Enduring sorrow and helplessness over the stolen freedom, and being treated as a precious gift, with his newfound liberation celebrated solemnly...

It was entirely different.

He suddenly didn't want to hold back anymore.

Endlessly worrying about the future, societal norms, reason, and fearing to intimidate the male or cause him to leave, he refrained from expressing his passionate love, torturing himself with hesitation.

That wouldn't win the heart of the male in his arms.

And he finally understood...

Whether it's the moon or a star, if it loves you, it will naturally shed its gentle and lovely radiance upon you.

But attempting to forcefully possess someone with power and wealth would only result in a lose-lose situation.

Yet, at least...

Yale had been gently patting the female's back when his wrist was suddenly caught.

Then, that damp touch left his neck and eagerly brushed against his earlobe and cheek.

"How come...?"

Unspoken words were crushed between his lips, transforming into a soft, muffled nasal sound.

Yale's eyes widened a beat slower, looking up at Xi Ze with a touch of confusion.

The remnants of tears were still evident on the female's face, though he didn't have the time to wipe them away. His eyelashes clung together in small clusters from the moisture, and within his lowered, shimmering golden eyes, his own astonished reflection was mirrored perfectly.

"Mmm... uhuh..."

His lips were clumsily nibbled and kissed by the male, hot breaths repeatedly brushed against his face, intermingling with a strong bitter scent and the lingering caramel-like pheromones, creating an endless entanglement.

Yale tasted a hint of saltiness on his tongue, but it was swiftly dissolved in the sweetness of their saliva.

He was kissed into a daze, barely able to catch his breath.

The intense heat from the male's body turned his mind into a pulp, leaving him devoid of the capacity to think or resist, as he was gradually drawn deeper into the embrace.

Their kiss lasted long, until Yale's tongue went numb from the suction, and in a disoriented state, he weakly pushed against the male. Only then did their intimate, entwined lips reluctantly part.

Yale covered his eyes with the back of his hand, gasping disorientedly for a moment. It took quite some time for his racing heart to return to its normal rhythm. After a moment of hesitation, he lowered his hand.

"Why all of a sudden...?"

His voice was slightly hoarse, but halfway through his sentence, it stiffened abruptly. "Forget it."

"You were just overly excited. When emotions run high, you might do things you wouldn't normally do... It's completely normal."

Unconsciously, Yale licked his swollen lower lip and looked down, avoiding Xi Ze's gaze.

He didn't know why, but he had a slight aversion to discussing this matter. Before Xi Ze could even explain, he had already found an excuse.

He even hoped that the drone would understand this refusal, allowing them to move past the topic smoothly.

"But you know that's not the case."

The perceptive drone, however, didn't yield to this wish.

He exerted a gentle force to straighten Yale's shoulders, looking directly into those dark eyes with a hint of pleading in his voice, "...My Lord."

"It's not like that anymore."

Yale spoke softly.

Xi Ze was taken aback. "What do you mean?"

"I'm no longer your Alpha. Now, we… have no relationship at all."

The male insect in front of him appeared lost, his lips moving uncertainly.

The complete relaxation he had shown upon waking up had vanished, replaced by an invisible wariness and aloofness.

Xi Ze had never seen such an expression on Yale's face before.

It was as if he were a cat facing a massive predator, tense and cautious, wanting to escape but frozen on the spot, barely holding onto his composure.

He denied softly, "Removing the slave collar doesn't sever our bond. My mental landscape and pheromones already bear the mark of my Alpha. They won't be easily erased."

However, Yale didn't seem to pay attention to his words. His gaze drifted past the omega, fixating on the wall behind him with a cold, distant look.

"You were forcing me just now, and I got a bit upset," he said slowly, emphasizing the word 'forcing', though his gaze was somewhat hesitant.

"I didn't apply much strength. If you really wanted to refuse, you could've pushed me away," Xi Ze leaned in close, gently rubbing the side of the male's face with the tip of his nose, as if offering a tender comfort.

"But you didn't refuse... You still haven't now."

Upon hearing this, Yale finally looked away, meeting the male's gaze for a moment before abruptly asking, "Do you like me?"

His question was too blunt, catching Xi Ze off guard. However, before he could respond, he was interrupted again.

"Why do you like me? What do you like about me?"

"I haven't done anything significant, nor am I worthy of being liked. I just happened to save you, and although I did overstep my boundaries while you were healing, each instance was out of necessity, and you know that too."

He persisted with the same explanation he'd given the male initially –

He was no savior, incapable of rescuing all the suffering lives in dire straits. It just so happened that he encountered Xi Ze and extended a hand by chance.

If a mere touch of tenderness and aid from a lofty position could purchase boundless affection and loyalty, then this world would be far too cruel and arrogant.

Yale didn't wish for that.

Moreover, he didn't believe he deserved any love at all.

Everything had been a series of misunderstandings. He couldn't save anyone, not even his own life, which was in disarray.

"You might have simply developed the Ladder Effect because you met me during a crisis, or perhaps you've confused your gratitude for being saved with affection..."

"No, it's not like that."

Xi Ze looked directly into those eyes without flinching, his courage bolstered by the gentleness he'd received. His voice trembled pathetically, yet he persisted in speaking hoarsely.

"Do you remember when I said that a Dominant is a brilliant star, always shining? Not because you rescued me, but because that's who you are."

"Putting aside your status as a Dominant, you deserve to be protected, cherished, and respected. You should accept all affection and gratitude with the most rightful and candid attitude."

For the first time, he bared his heart, as if picking up that piece of flesh longing for love he had abandoned since he was ten, along with his beating heart, laying it all out before Yale.

He pleaded... No, he begged the deity to cast a gentle gaze upon him.

"I beg of you to love me—no, no, please allow me to love you. Just give me your consent, nothing more, and stay by my side, never leaving."

Xi Ze's gaze was sorrowful yet tender.

Blurred by the moisture on his eyelashes, his vision pierced through the golden shimmering dust, transporting him back to that bitterly cold and painful snowy night.

Back then, he was still conscious but couldn't feel the pain of the rods hitting his flesh. His left eye, not yet worsened, faintly caught sight of the vast sky above, starless and moonless.

Later, a shadow fell, and the chaotic world suddenly turned quiet.

Behind Yale was the light from a street lamp, casting a hazy warm yellow glow that softened his gentle and pristine outline.

In those dark eyes were two brilliant points of light, flickering gently, warm and dazzling.

At that moment, his heart was empty, devoid of the desire to survive or the will to struggle. He just wanted...

How did the stars come crashing down?

Still, he rarely recalled that night, except for fleeting glimpses in his dreams.

In every moment spent with Yale, he discovered more depths to the male's charm.

Whether it was in conversation, the small gestures made while doing tasks, the focused expression, or... there were simply too many instances.

These memories thrived in his imagination when unseen, and upon regaining sight, they crowded every inch of his vision, filling his heart to the brim.

These recollections formed the essence of his existence.

Each passing moment nurtured new yearnings, clamoring for intimate touches, inseparable embraces, and uninhibited kisses and lovemaking.

Thus, he could indeed distinguish between gratitude that needed to be repaid in kind and the love that ran deep into his bones and blood, a differentiation that was anything but difficult.

"My Lord."

The moisture suspended on his eyelashes finally coalesced, trickling down the curve and shattering into a heartfelt whisper that trembled his very soul.

"I implore you to stay by my side, and let me love you."

Yale trembled uncontrollably, shaking his head unconsciously, as if resisting something unknown.

He opened his mouth, only to clench it shut again, his Adam's apple rolling visibly.

"Alpha?!"

Suspecting something was amiss, Xi Ze reached out to turn Yale's face back to him.

In the process, he accidentally grasped the alpha's left wrist, the rough, scarred texture sending a jolt through his heart.

Since regaining his sight, Xi Ze had stumbled upon Yale cleaning these wounds several times. However, due to the alpha's evident aversion and resistance, all attempts at probing or asking questions had ended in vain.

Yale always seemed intent on concealing the truth, up until now.

"Take a deep breath, Alpha, relax..."

Xi Ze eased his grip on Yale's wrist and bent down to pull him into an embrace. Gently massaging the overly tense muscles to prevent cramps or subsequent soreness, he whispered soothing words to calm the omega.

Yale adjusted his breathing in Xi Ze's embrace, taking a long while before he relaxed slightly and opened his eyes to gaze up at the male insect above him.

His expression was dazed as he reached out to stroke Xi Ze's cheek, wiping away the damp traces with the pads of his fingers. The icy, smooth white hair draped down, entwining between his fingertips.

Although it was the face of a male insect before him, he couldn't help but be momentarily mesmerized. His Adam's apple bobbed for an instant, and an uncontrollable wave of disgust surged within him.

A sharp, malicious voice suddenly sliced through the silence, echoing deep within his ears—

"How could there be such an indifferent and ruthless child? Truly terrifying. At such a young age, you already know how to wear a fake smile to deceive others. I'd say you're not just mildly autistic, but simply born evil."

Little Yale sat stiffly on the small sofa, unsure why his father, who was always obsessed with gambling, had suddenly changed his ways, pulling him from the trash can beside the gambling table to take him to the hospital.

He also didn't understand why, upon their first meeting, the woman who claimed to be a psychiatrist looked at him with disgust and spat out those malicious words.

"It's hopeless."

The psychiatrist's slightly raised eyes were filled with mockery and disdain. Her gaze upon him was like that of a butcher selecting a piglet for slaughter. Turning to the man holding his shoulder, she spoke.

"There are serious psychological issues with this child. My suggestion is inpatient treatment, followed by an increase in medication dosage, and then we'll observe if there's any improvement..."

A forced smile froze on young Yale's face as he nervously fiddled with the edge of his pants, witnessing the doctor and his father swiftly finalize the treatment plan with mere words.

The following three months were like a nightmare.

"Why are you smiling? Your grin is irritating; be more serious!"

"Do you like gold? What an awful color. I won't give you any golden candies. I'll throw the rest on the ground; you can pick them up at your leisure."

"What a laugh. Who could possibly like you? I don't like you, and neither do your parents. Otherwise, why would they abandon you here without concern?"

"Let me whisper this to you, your parents are getting a divorce, and neither of them wants you. After you leave the hospital, you'll be wandering the streets, begging for food here and there."

It was only when Mom noticed something amiss that she flew back from afar to confront the hospital, putting an end to this nightmare.

"Why is his condition worsening with treatment?! He could smile and talk before! What kind of treatment is the hospital providing?!"

The gentle woman with soft brows and eyes turned flushed from the argument, looking at him with profound concern.

"Baby, tell Mommy, is the hospital not treating you well, making you feel uncomfortable?"

With your severe illness, if your mom finds out, she'll abandon you! She'd toss you into a junkyard to scavenge for food, and you'd starve to death, feeding the wild dogs!

"Mom, I'm fine."

Little Yale muttered, "Mom, I want to go home."

But his beloved mother, in the midst of constant arguments with his father, died in a car accident on her way to the hospital. She passed away without ever getting to see him one last time.

Later, he spied through a crack in the door, witnessing his father entwined naked with that psychiatrist, making revolting noises as they plotted how to seize the inheritance left by his mother.

Oh, he thought. It wasn't my fault after all.

Yet, why did he still feel such profound sorrow? His heart felt hollow, perpetually bleeding as if it would never heal.

"Dad, I'm so hungry. Can these round coins be eaten?"

"Autism? How could this be?!"

"I... I can't do this. I know it's wrong, but I just can't face the reality that my child has autism... Mom, I need to stay with you for a while."

"Lost money again! Curse you, you jinx! Sleep in a trash bin tonight, don't even dream of entering this house!"

"Hey, if your parents don't want you, who else would truly care for you? Face reality sooner or later."

"What a despicable harlot, a born calamity! You deserve to go to hell with your dead mother! Die, just die, die, die, die...!"

"Get out of here!!"

"..."

A warm sensation brushed against his face, pulling Yale back from his distant memories. He realized he had been silently weeping, and the female insect was nervously wiping away his tears.

But it seemed futile; salty tears uncontrollably cascaded down, like a flood that had been held back for far too long, finally finding an outlet after years of pent-up emotion, rushing relentlessly.

"I'm sorry, Alpha, I won't say those words again. Just consider it a slip due to my excitement today. It won't happen again in the future..."

Xi Ze spoke with a trembling voice, low and strained.

He had never seen Yale cry before.

Unstoppable tears flowed endlessly, no matter how much he wiped, they continued down the corners of his eyes, tracing along his temples and dampening the sleeves and pillow.

Those dark, misty eyes were exceptionally clear and beautiful, yet they felt like sharp daggers piercing through his heart, causing excruciating pain that filled him with regret for his earlier words.

Perhaps he had been too hasty, scaring the male omega.

"I'm sorry..."

Xi Ze was at a loss for what to say, apologizing repeatedly, trying his best to comfort Yale in his own way.

But he soon realized that such intimate gestures might only be a burden to the male omega, especially now that he had already confessed his feelings. It all seemed so inappropriate.

Overwhelmed with uncertainty, he hesitated for a long while before reluctantly removing his hand from wiping Yale's tears. However, as soon as he did, his wrist was seized.

"Wait..." Yale mumbled, clearing his throat, "Just give me a moment."

He took deep breaths, attempting to steady his voice. After a brief pause, he spoke slowly.

"I just... suddenly remembered something unpleasant... It wasn't because of what you said, so there's no need to apologize."

Recalling the drone's confession just now, from fervent praise to direct declarations of love, Yale felt his cheeks grow warm as he nervously pressed his lips together.

What should he say? Decline or... accept?

But Xi Ze knew nothing.

Nothing about Earth, nothing about the humiliation and darkness he had endured, nor the ugliness that lay beneath his gentle facade.

Perhaps the drone was merely infatuated with an attractive exterior, along with the allure of a savior and the added thrill of newfound freedom.

Yale's Adam's apple bobbed as he stared unblinkingly at the drone.

Those golden eyes were radiant and clear, filled with his reflection, sincere emotions and concerns that made Yale hesitant to meet them directly. Just being looked at this way caused a gentle ache in his heart.

The image of that man's enraged and distorted face flashed before him, shocked that the usually well-behaved child would betray him, engaging in stealth photography and calling the police.

When the police and media arrived, the man hadn't even had time to dress. After the sudden devastation of his reputation, he faced over a decade in prison.

Then, expressionless, he watched the police car depart, suddenly realizing that, just like that woman had said, he was cold and ruthless. Who could possibly love such a child?

But...

But... Xi Ze had said he liked him, loved him.

A tiny, faint voice in his heart, so delicate it could be swept away by the wind at any moment, still managed to surface, urging him to listen carefully—

Perhaps you could give it a try. You didn't push him away when he kissed you.

You like him too, don't you?

This thought was like a spark igniting a prairie fire, instantly kindling an intense longing and desire that overrode all his previous concerns and hesitation, filling him with sudden courage.

Yet, just as he was about to take the leap, Yale hesitated and softened his tone, "But I might not be able to give you my whole heart..."

He was softhearted and trusting, but he only had half a heart, burning hot and passionate. One half wandered in this foreign land, while the other half had long perished in a distant, hopeless past.

Xi Ze's voice was eager and quivering, yet he forcefully suppressed his emotions, "...It's alright, I understand."

He knew that the male insectoid didn't love him as much, at least not yet, like how he did. But—he was willing to accept it.

"So, shall we give it a try?"

Yale gazed steadily at him, the remnants of tears still clinging to his face, yet the corners of his lips had turned upward.

"If it doesn't work out in the future, it's also..."

He didn't finish his sentence before Xi Ze pressed him into the bed, the scattering of white hair tickling his neck, leaving it numb.

The omega's voice was hoarse, as if he were holding back sobs by gritting his teeth, yet a touch of both confusion and excitement seeped through.

He said, "Okay."

Author's Note:

So why do I say it's a mutual redemption? Both are lovable beings yearning for love but lacking it. If they can't love themselves, they'll strive to love each other, and then both will be showered with abundant affection!

Yeye has quite significant emotional issues, but don't worry; the General will love him dearly, sob sob. In terms of openness and straightforwardness, both parties are actually on par, just expressing it differently.