Chapter 58 (Lantern Festival Special!)

Chapter 58 (Lantern Festival Special!)

"Welcome b...!"

Yale's lips curved up in a smile, but before the trailing laughter could fade, he was suddenly embraced by a firm and scorching pair of arms, causing his eyes to widen instinctively.

He was pressed down onto the sofa.

Xi Ze knelt on one knee on the couch with his other leg on the ground, holding Yale firmly between his embrace and the sofa as if he was afraid Yale would escape.

Yale squirmed slightly, only to be hugged even tighter, making him let out a muffled groan from the constriction.

Perceiving the tense atmosphere, the insects in the room quietly retreated, quickly closing the door behind them. The room was now filled only with the disheveled and hurried breathing of the female insect.

The hard military uniform was slightly painful against Yale's body, and the cold buttons pressing against his cheek were icy, but the burning heat of the male insect's body and the rapid heartbeat transmitted through the fabric subtly soothed away any discomfort.

The arms behind him were clamped tightly around him, leaving him almost immobile. However, sensing the slight trembling of the hand on his back, Yale didn't resist and instead wrapped his arms around the male insect's waist.

"What's wrong?"

Yale was smothered, barely able to breathe, but after holding back for a while, he still couldn't suppress his stifled voice.

The breathing of the female insect beside his ear was still rapid, but it wasn't the kind of disordered and heavy breaths after intense tasks; instead, it was so light that it was almost a held breath, yet it couldn't conceal the panic within.

Did... something happen?

Xi Ze was abruptly pulled back to reality by this sound, relaxing his grip on the male insect but still not getting up from Yale's body. Instead, he lowered himself even more, burying his face deeply into the side of the male's neck.

Like a puppy eager to confirm its owner's scent, he threw himself forward with all his might, using his damp nose to sniff back and forth across the neck and face, rubbing against them affectionately and licking with his tongue.

The female's knees pressed against his waist, their intertwined legs tightly glued together, like being entangled by a puppy's soft tail, trying to bind the owner and prevent any further departure.

"What's wrong? Hugging so tightly?"

Infectious warmth made Yale chuckle softly, his laughter intermittent.

The joy that had been restrained for a long time was fermenting deep in his chest, bubbling up with a gentle gurgle, causing his body temperature to rise slightly as well.

"...Male Lord?"

A raspy voice brushed against his earlobe, sending shivers down his spine. Yale wrapped his arms around the male's shoulders and nuzzled his icy cheeks.

"I'm here."

"Male Sovereign."

"Mm, I am. You're holding on so tightly."

He patted the male's lower back and lifted the hem of the military coat, slipping his hand underneath the tightly buckled belt to press his palm against the heated skin.

The male trembled slightly before gradually relaxing, no longer as tense.

But just as he had calmed down, he started to murmur uneasily again, "Yale?"

How should he soothe him this time?

Yale pondered for a moment but didn't feel too troubled. There were countless intimate gestures they could explore together.

"Then... let's kiss."

He exerted force to gently push the male insect away, propping himself up on his elbow from the sofa. Their eyes met for a fleeting moment, and almost simultaneously, he closed his eyes, eagerly leaning in closer.

However, before he could savor the softness on his lips, a crisp sound echoed abruptly—

"Ouch?!"

A sharp pain that could induce tears surged, causing Yale to groan softly. He instinctively covered his mouth, his wide eyes locking onto the equally bewildered Xi Ze.

It seemed like... they had bumped teeth.

Before he could say anything, the male insect leaned in for another kiss, but this time, it didn't delve deeper. It merely brushed gently against his lips, nibbling and sucking softly, soothing the tender spot.

This kind of kiss wasn't driven by intense desire, yet it was incredibly comfortable and soothing. One might unconsciously emit a soft sigh during such a kiss, and it could last for a long, long time without issue.

However, no matter how enjoyable the kissing was, it couldn't go on indefinitely. After several minutes, Yale managed to pull himself out of the male insect's embrace, his cheeks flushed red and his breathing disheveled. He covered his mouth, surrendering in defeat.

"My lips are numb..."

He mumbled, his gaze involuntarily lingering on the male insect's lips.

The once stern and rigid lips softened, turning tender and plump from the suction, acquiring a rosy glow.

Xi Ze was dressed in the same military uniform as during the press conference, but his cap had fallen off during their roll, allowing disheveled strands of hair to dangle across his forehead. However, they failed to conceal the flushed tips of his ears. Coupled with the dazed expression after the kiss, he exuded an alluring vulnerability.

Even the meticulously fastened top buttons of his uniform were undone, revealing the pristine white shirt beneath. What should have been a serious and stern image was now heated and tender due to that single kiss.

He really couldn't resist… the urge to tease him further.

But before that, there was something else he needed to address. The words that followed might genuinely provoke the omega into tears. ——

"Should I address you as Xi Ze, or Hill Ze?"

Yale rose to his feet, pinning the male under him. Gently adjusting the collar of his companion, he narrowed his eyes and relentlessly asked, "Or... is it Admiral Monte?"

The female beneath him narrowed his eyes, the intoxication in his gaze fading instantly. As he suddenly came to his senses, all the color drained from his face, leaving him looking somewhat pitiable.

"Master, I..."

His voice tensed, and he desperately tried to explain, but his mouth was covered.

"No talking."

Yale sternly warned himself not to soften his heart, then hardened his face and tone, beginning to recount their past grievances bit by bit.

"You promised to tell me the truth when everything was over in a few days, right? Despite the sedatives and secondary differentiation, there were still opportunities for you to speak during that half-month. Did you initiate and tell me?"

He released his hold on Xi Ze's hand but didn't lift the restriction on speaking. The male omega's eyes reddened at the corner as he looked at Yale, growing more anxious because he couldn't explain himself.

"In the end, it was your subordinate who exposed the truth, but even he hesitated and refused to give a clear explanation. It just so happened that I saw the press conference and found out your identity."

Yale gritted his teeth in anger. He had only intended to reproach him, but now he was genuinely upset.

"If it weren't for a stroke of bad luck, when did you plan on telling me the truth?"

They were very close after the male omega propped himself up, almost sharing breaths as they spoke. Yale could see the male omega's flustered confusion and eagerness to explain, yet he still callously pulled away.

"You've exhausted all the trust I had in you."

Yale delivered his final verdict with absolute certainty. Then, he noticed the male omega's expression shift from urgency to stunned disbelief, as if he found it incredibly hard to accept.

The eyes of the omega glistened with red as they shook their head, blinking slowly. Tears immediately clung to their eyelashes, their voice trembling and hoarse, "No..."

But then they remembered that Yale had not given them permission to speak. Their Adam's apple bobbed fiercely for a moment, but they didn't continue to argue, their eyes and brows revealing suppressed sorrow and helplessness.

Ah... They were completely deflated.

Yale had already turned his head away but couldn't resist stealing glances at the omega's expression.

Was he this upset? It was just a childish argument earlier... right?

Why wasn't he saying anything? Wouldn't he defend himself?

Realizing that his gaze was softening the more he looked, he quickly decided to get off the omega.

In the next second, he felt a gentle tug on the sleeve of his right hand.

The force was light, yet it successfully halted his movement. He turned back to find Xi Ze connecting his light computer to Yale's.

A beep sounded, followed by the transfer of a compressed file.

"What's this?"

Yale, utterly perplexed, gazed at the compressed file in the message box. Upon opening it, countless files instantly flooded his screen.

He randomly selected one and as he began to comprehend its contents, a hoarse whisper of the female insect echoed behind his ear.

"All my experiences and relevant information are organized within. Later, some blanks were filled in. I've checked, there shouldn't be any omissions."

Xi Ze embraced Yale from behind, resting his chin on his shoulder. He reached out to hold Yale's hand, guiding him through the examination of all the documents.

"These are from when I was a cub, these ones, these, and these are from when I was at the military academy..."

Yale also froze, allowing the male to lead his hand through the images.

Wait a moment.

He had been criticizing the male for deceiving him and failing to fulfill promises, but judging from the depth of this information, the male had clearly been preparing for openness all along.

He had even compiled records of his past experiences, making them accessible for Yale to browse through at any time... leaving no room for privacy or reservations.

Yale's expression was dazed, vividly sensing the vibrations within his chest, pulsing rhythmically as if reproaching him for his previous harsh words and actions.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry, My Lord."

The breath of the female insect brushed against the back of his ear, bringing a warm and moist sensation, like a wild beast gently nudging with its damp nose, sniffing at the rose petals it had accidentally damaged.

Xi Ze spoke hoarsely, pressing his forehead against the male's shoulder. Only when he sensed that Yale no longer wanted to break free or leave did he sigh in relief, almost awkwardly saying, "I'm sorry."

Most of the time, he didn't know how to date Yale and could only resort to being as gentle as possible, a clumsy approach. Fortunately, this silent and awkwardness of his, as an often-rejected military female, did not provoke the disgust of the male lord.

He had always thought that things were fine as they were, but just now, he abruptly realized that such a way of interacting would make their relationship fragile, unable to withstand any upheavals or tests.

Even a gentle breeze could cause it to waver precariously.

It was really complicated... Romance was a more intricate thing to fathom than leading troops into battle. It couldn't be calculated with data nor predicted by experience.

It couldn't be grasped or held onto; it was always out of reach, requiring constant attempts at understanding and exploration.

Well then, he would try his best to be honest and learn. Love was never a one-sided effort to do good for the other person; it was the result of both parties striving together.

"Ruler?"

Xi Ze continued to gently call Yale, receiving a delayed response before cautiously asking,

"Can the score be reset to positive? Zero is fine too... Just not negative."

Yale, who had just regained his composure, heard this and felt a pang in his heart.

It was killing him.

He should have known better than to sulk with the male insect; he couldn't bear to be angry at him...

Sighing, he put away the data without further examination, closing his optical computer. Then, he turned to kiss the male insect's eyes.

"I was just speaking out of anger earlier. Your score has never been negative, always full marks—120 times higher! Alright, don't be sad anymore."

"Alright."

Xi Ze replied with reddened eyes, then smiled when he heard the high score, "Thank you, Ruler."

...He didn't know what he was apologizing for, but his heart had already softened into a chaotic mess.

Yale let out a sigh and, after some effort, managed to coax a few kisses from the male. However, he noticed that the male seemed distracted, even losing focus during their embrace and requiring a gentle nip to resume.

"What's wrong?"

Just as Yale was about to pull away to investigate, he heard the male whisper, "I already know."

"What?" Yale was taken aback.

"After thinking about it, I decided I can't keep deceiving you... My neural interface is connected to the surveillance in the infirmary, with audio access."

Xi Ze looked down at him with lowered eyelashes, his voice strained. "I heard your conversation with Gallagher earlier, as well as what happened a year ago."

"Oh... Well, knowing doesn't change anything. It's all in the past now."

Yale fell silent for a moment before casually brushing it off. Suddenly, he realized that the male had taken the initiative this time, causing his mood to soar.

"Next time, just tell me directly if there are any plans. Installing surveillance isn't a problem, but we should discuss it beforehand. By the way, is this feed only for your eyes or are there guards monitoring it too?"

If it was meant for the eyes of a female, then this would be an ideal tease.

"Just for me to see."

Not annoyed by the interruption, Xi Ze softly replied in accordance with the male's words, completely unaware of the latter's mischievous intentions. His gaze, however, still involuntarily drifted downward.

Yale's left wrist rested on the armrest of the sofa, revealing a small patch of fair skin. Scattered marks were faintly visible on it, as he had mentioned, already healed and fading away over time.

But he truly couldn't just overlook them.

Those scattered photographs, bloodstained sheets, and deep wounds that exposed the bone... They were all deeply etched into the depths of his mind, every detail vividly clear.

For a military female who had been at war for years, the wounds themselves weren't terrifying. But the insect who bore those wounds—his name was Yale.

From the first time he laid eyes on Yale and every day they spent together after that, he drew strength to live from the male.

Warmth, resilience, like wild grass thriving against all odds, growing untamed and solitary in its defiance of the seasons.

Although he sensed that the grass's roots had weathered storms and its leaves bore unhealable scars, he never imagined it had once been so desperate that it chose to end its own life.

Yale wasn't used to such a heavy atmosphere, so he shrugged and deliberately cracked a joke. "So now you know why I'm acting strange, right?"

"At first, you must have been wondering how on earth there could be a male like me, right? It was such a shock, but then—"

"Turns out I might not even be from this world. How's it like dating an alien?"

He smiled with narrowed eyes, reaching out to tease the teary-eyed male, only to have his wrist seized unexpectedly.

His sleeve was pulled up in a swift motion, exposing the wound entirely.

Yale's eyes widened slightly.

"I don't care—"

Fixing his gaze on the male before him, Xi Ze spoke firmly, "I don't care where the Dominant comes from or who they originally were. Those things aren't important at all."

"What matters is…."

His voice caught in his throat, becoming gravely hoarse as he couldn't continue, "What matters is…"

Fixing his gaze on those bloodshot eyes for a moment, Yale couldn't help but avert his head eventually.

He blinked rapidly and pretended to massage his temples, wiping away the moisture on his eyelashes in the process. However, his voice still carried a hint of hoarseness.

"I'm still here, and those matters are in the past now. There's no harm done."

"...But my heart aches."

The pain was so intense that he felt he couldn't breathe, a sour ache that felt like withering yet produced few tears.

It was all futile; what had happened could not be undone.

He had never indulged in meaningless fantasies before, but now he wished he could travel through time and embrace the lost and helpless young Yale, shielding him from all troubles and treacherous insects.

He wanted to tell him not to be afraid, for he would always be there in the future.

"Did the Ruler feel the same way when he saw the scars left on my body?"

The wounds didn't matter when they were on his own skin; he didn't feel any pain. But through the loving eyes of another, those injuries seemed to inflict a sharp, piercing pain that froze his very heart.

Yale stared at him, almost speechless.

Xi Ze gently stroked the soft protrusions on the male's wrist before suddenly leaning down to place a kiss on the scattered scars.

It was as if he was transcending the passage of time, offering a belated comfort and tenderness to the bewildered and helpless Yale from the past.

"I won't let myself get hurt so easily anymore, and neither can you, my lord."

Yale's heart trembled. It felt as if a red-hot iron had been pressed against that cold flesh, making him shiver uncontrollably.

The scorching heat coursed through his veins, reaching his heart like molten lava, spreading a painful and numb sensation throughout his body, making it even harder to suppress the surging emotions within him.

"…Okay."

He replied hoarsely, attempting to free his wrist but instead intertwining their fingers, his fingertips perfectly aligning with the calluses on the back of the male's hand.

Reaching out, he pulled Xi Ze closer, not applying much force, but the male already leaned in.

The gap between their bodies vanished once more, as they clung to each other tightly, almost greedily absorbing the warmth from one another.

Like two shivering creatures in the cold, they relied on each other for warmth and courage, lest they succumb to the icy winds and snow.

Yale's forehead rested against Xi Ze's shoulder as he took a moment to calm down before whispering softly.

"At that time, I was immature and couldn't forgive myself. I made many mistakes. Now, looking back, it's quite laughable."

He had countless ways to improve his situation, any of which would have been better than harming himself. Yet, he had chosen the most foolish path.

Yale held the female insect tighter, feeling both grateful and fearful at the same time.

Thankfully, his attempt back then had failed. Otherwise, he wouldn't have been able to save Xi Ze, nor would they be cuddling warmly like this.

He had once despised fate's cruel jests but had also, in countless moments, wept with gratitude for its generous gifts.

But perhaps that was the nature of life; one could not force it, but by striving forward step by step, the next second would bring a future uniquely tailored for oneself.

"Don't say that," Xi Ze countered in a hoarse voice. "Back then, the male ruler was already very scared. There's no need to be so hard on your past self."

"You've done more than enough, better than countless others of our kind. If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't be confident in doing any better."

"You're neither laughable nor foolish. Don't ever underestimate yourself again."

Fixing his gaze on the golden buttons of the female drone's uniform, Yale didn't respond verbally. Not because he didn't want to, but rather, he had pressed his lips together so tightly that his breathing was nearly imperceptible.

For if he spoke, his heavy nasal tone would surely betray him and cause the drone unnecessary worry.

After several deep breaths, he barely managed to suppress the stinging sensation at the tip of his nose. Purposely clearing his sore throat, he forced out a hoarse laugh. "Did you go and study specifically for this?"

"Like watching love courses on the Star Network or reading 'Essential Psychology for Love' or '999 Romantic Phrases'? Otherwise, how could you... have improved so rapidly in expressing affection?"

Xi Ze coughed slightly, feeling a touch of embarrassment but still chose to be truthful.

"I didn't study any tutorials, and I wasn't actually trying to say something romantic just now."

It was simply that when faced with someone who deserved his utmost cherishment, every word and action should come from the softest part of his heart, treated with sincere care and consideration, ensuring that not a single phrase carried a sharp edge.

"However, what I said earlier was true."

Yale firmly pressed his eyes, suppressing the stinging sensation, then moved away from the female insectoid, creating some distance between them.

His expression was weary yet gentle, with a hint of red still lingering at the corners of his eyes, but it seemed no longer distressing. His dark eyes shimmered with a faint, brilliant light.

"I meant, I won't hurt myself anymore."

Before Xi Ze could react, two delicate, supple antennae emerged from the strands of Yale's hair, quivering with excitement as they explored the surrounding atmosphere through their tips.

"——Would you like to see my mental landscape?"

"Alpha Ruler?"

The tone shifted abruptly and seemed unrelated, but the male insect had already drawn near, ready to make contact with its sensory appendage.

Xi Ze could only close his eyes and extend his sensitive end to connect. A tremulous, muffled sound escaped his throat at the moment of contact.

In previous mental guidance sessions, the male insect would delve into his mental landscape to mend or reconstruct it... He had been thoroughly attended to, inside and out.

But this was the first time he was granted permission to enter Yale's mental imagery.

In that instant of their tentacles intertwining, their long-lost mental connection reestablished, feeling smoother than before, blending as effortlessly as water and milk.

Rushhh—

The sound of surging waves echoed in their ears, while the salty breeze tousled the strands of hair across his forehead. Before his eyes stretched an endless expanse of deep blue sky.

Xi Ze propped himself up to find himself lying on a small boat, drifting with the gentle waves. Yale sat beside him on the gunwale, dipping his calves into the sea.

"Is this... the Dominant's mental landscape?"

A wave of sapphire tears cascaded like an astral storm, dispersing upon impact with the small boat, resembling fireworks at their peak, scattering millions of dazzling lights – a breathtaking spectacle.

Yale stepped into the icy seawater, swatting away the glowing jellyfish and tiny silver fish circling his feet. Turning to the female insectoid, he smiled.

"I didn't generate a mental landscape during my first transformation, nor did I in the following years. It was only recently that it suddenly appeared here. It wasn't until I successfully navigated my second transformation that it finally took shape."

His eyes reflected the scattered blue tears on the sea's surface, as if harboring an entire vast and flourishing galaxy within them, a beauty that was almost breathtaking.

Xi Ze instinctively held his breath. Reaching out, he brushed aside a strand of hair that had fallen across the male insectoid's nose. His fingertip was unexpectedly clasped, and he received a gentle kiss, light as a fleeting fish brushing against water lilies, creating ripples in its wake.

"I've pondered countless times why I couldn't construct a mental landscape smoothly, and it's only now that I finally understand—"

"A mental landscape isn't an illusory castle in the sky; it needs to take root in the soil of life, drawing energy from it to nurture its vast and intricate inner system."

"But for me, be it spiritual power, mental landscapes, or even this race... they're all fairy tale-like dreams, lacking a sense of reality, hence my inability to establish a firm foundation."

Discovered on the battlefield, unmatched with any male insectoid's genetics within the empire, an identity-less stranger... He was an outsider, incompatible with this world.

But—

Yale gazed at the ripples in the distance, as if sensing the summoning of those warm memories. A tranquil calm washed over him.

"It was after finding you and beginning to learn spiritual guidance that I started to gradually accept and familiarize myself with these concepts."

Like a fixed anchor in an endless sea, after encountering the female insectoid, this world began to intertwine with his heart and flesh, slowly turning real, piece by piece.

"—In a way, this mental landscape was also born for you."

This was what Yale wanted Xi Ze to know.

Though it might not solve anything, he hoped it would alleviate the female's anxiety, letting him know that the insect he loved wouldn't casually slip away like an aimless wind through his fingers.

"I don't want to think about those things anymore, and you're not allowed to either. Let them pass naturally."

Yale, with the howling sea wind at his back, reached out to Xi Ze.

Coincidentally, a ray of dawn broke through the horizon, dispelling all darkness from the sea. The morning star, nestled in the resplendent clouds, shimmered brilliantly.

Yet, it paled in comparison to the bright spark in those dark eyes. That light pierced through the darkness and malice earlier than the tardy dawn, a warm and dazzling presence.

"After all, we have a new future, don't we?"

Author's Note:

Chickens fighting -> Chickens making up -> Chickens promising