Chapter 72

Chapter 72

The next morning, at half past eight.

Yale couldn't figure out why the male insectoid was still at home today, but perhaps there were other plans in place. Yale didn't pay much attention to it and entered the study after breakfast.

Most of the books and documents in the study were digital, making them easy to search and browse. However, there was also a small portion in the form of ancient paper copies, which were neatly displayed on the bookshelf.

Yale pulled out an old book from the shelf and sat directly on the floor in the corner of the bookshelf.

"Excuse me... would you like a cushion?"

A round-headed subordinate robot emerged from a square opening on the silver wall opposite. With its beady eyes blinking nervously, it softly asked.

"No, thank you."

Yale chuckled softly and politely declined. The robot then stammered back into the wall, and the small square door closed tightly.

It really felt like a little elf from a fireplace.

Heaving a sigh, he opened the heavy cover of the ancient tome and scanned the preface at a glance. With a gentle flick of his fingers, he turned the page to begin the first chapter.

The spot was quite pleasant. Although it was in a corner, not far away was an ornamental stained glass window embedded into the wall. It harmoniously contrasted with the study, showcasing an ancient and exquisite craftsmanship.

At around eight or nine in the morning, sunlight would shine through the window, casting a large, pale shadow on the empty space before him, clearly demarcating the boundaries between the bookshelves.

"..."

Yale narrowed his eyes, realizing that he had been staring at the first page for ten minutes without making any progress beyond the first sentence.

Indeed, something wasn't right today. Forget it... He might as well just let his mind wander for a while.

However, before he could indulge in his reverie for long, he heard the soft sound of a door opening nearby.

Soft footsteps approached, followed by a crisp click. The footsteps stopped beside the desk.

Yale initially assumed it was Xi Ze needing the desk for some paperwork, but after a moment, he realized that based on the distance, it was his own desk. The female's desk should be on the other side.

...

Reverting back ten minutes.

"Finalize the documents as soon as possible and send them to me before noon."

Having completed his most pressing matter, Xi Ze hesitated but still initiated another call.

"When can you have what I asked for last night ready?"

A slightly hoarse low voice emerged from the light computer, tinged with resignation. "I surrender. It was fine that you woke me up at four in the morning last night, but then you called again this morning to rush me—"

"It's not a big deal. I'll have it for you tomorrow, alright?"

Xi Ze softly expressed his gratitude and ended the call, massaging his temples with a weary sigh.

These mundane official tasks were manageable for him; however, after spending the night holding the male partner almost without sleep, contemplating whether what he experienced was an illusion or not, he remained uncertain.

On the other hand, he was also wavering about whether to share this incident with the male partner and seek a definitive answer… But asking directly was just too awkward.

Not only for himself, but also for Yale.

After a moment of deep contemplation, Xi Ze subconsciously lifted his gaze, scanning the interior of the house with his eyes.

—The living room and dining area were barren, devoid of any trace of the male insectoid.

A sudden surge of immense panic gripped his heart, causing his pupils to constrict slightly. In an unconscious reflex, he pressed down hard on his light computer, leaving a shallow dent on its smooth surface.

"…Male Lord?"

Xi Ze opened his mouth, his Adam's apple bobbing fiercely for a moment before he forced out a hoarse, low cry, "Male Lord!"

015, who was diligently sweeping the floor, happened to pass by and caught the sound. It poked its head out in confusion.

"Are you looking for the main insect? I just saw him enter the study."

As if piercing through a bizarre nightmare, Xi Ze swiftly regained his composure, realizing his overreaction. He softly thanked 015 and hastily made his way to the study.

However, as he approached the door, he abruptly halted, taking several deep breaths to compose himself before entering quietly.

Inside the study, natural light was simulated, creating a cozy little world regardless of the weather outside. However, the male insectoid still preferred being near the genuine window and sunlight.

A faint sensation at the tip of his mental tendrils indicated that Yale was somewhere nearby. Xi Ze hesitated but still decided to head in that direction.

As he passed by the alpha's desk, possibly due to his distracted state of mind, he didn't notice a hard object at his side, causing him to trip and stumble.

With a crisp "thud," a notebook landed at his feet, its pages splayed open.

What is this...?

Xi Ze crouched down to pick it up, but before his fingertips could touch the book, he caught sight of its contents, freezing him in place.

It was the notebook he had accidentally stumbled upon when he was on Eitar, belonging to none other than Yale.

Ever since discovering that the writing in it wasn't from any known species in the universe, a seed of unease had been planted. However, it had been suppressed and neglected, never surfacing.

He had once said that he didn't care where the alpha came from, nor would he pry into the alpha's humiliating past that he found difficult to speak of.

But the instant he felt the emptiness in his arms last night, a deeper sense of insecurity instantly gripped him, breeding endless anxiety and an uncontrollable restlessness—

Yale had suddenly appeared in the insectoid tribe. Would he one day vanish just as silently?

Leaving behind only memories and vows, stranded in this vast universe like vaporized water, leaving no trace behind, and being impossible to find.

Or perhaps, if one day Yale faced the dilemma of returning home or staying, would he choose to go back, or stay by his side?

...These were questions not meant for deep contemplation. Pursuing them would lead to endless anxiety and suspicion, potentially destroying the hard-won relationship they had built so far.

Xi Ze's eyelashes drooped, and after a long stillness, his body suddenly shifted. He picked up the notebook, placing it back in its original spot, then walked towards a corner nearby.

The edge of an alpha's garment was visible beside the bookshelf, suggesting that the alpha had taken a seat on the floor directly, with one hand pressed against the ground, occasionally twirling his fingers unconsciously.

"..."

Yale was lost in thought when he suddenly heard the rustling of clothing next to him. He felt the omega settle down on the other side of the bookshelf, separated from him by just a small corner.

Silent, neither of them spoke, sitting quietly for a moment.

"Alpha Lord."

"Hmm?"

Yale responded instinctively, still absorbed in the first line of text.

"Could you describe to me what kind of world it is over there?"

The female insect didn't explicitly state it, but her question was clearly pointed. Yale hadn't anticipated Xi Ze's inquiry and stood there, momentarily stunned.

"Ahh..."

He then frowned slightly, his gaze drifting into the void as he struggled to articulate, "That world... actually, it's not particularly special."

After his rescue, a grand genetic comparison was conducted, revealing his mysterious origins and uncertain identity – something many insects were aware of by now.

Yet, Yale persistently claimed that he had lost all his memories and knew nothing.

On one hand, Earth's existence couldn't be divulged. On the other hand, the concept of time travel was too surreal.

Even the technologically advanced insect race had yet to unravel the secrets of space-time. Who knew if he would be treated as a delusional patient or captured for experimentation if he spoke out?

But... Xi Ze was different.

Those things that would be deemed delusions if told to another species, the female would believe them without a doubt—

Not because the facts were convincing, but simply because they were about him.

With this thought, Yale let out a breath and suddenly felt a desire to share. "Since you want to listen, I'll give you a simple rundown."

"There are various species in this universe apart from the insectoids, though we rarely encounter them. My previous race looked very similar to the insectoids on the surface..."

He coughed softly. Since the insectoids couldn't pronounce the word "human," and the human language was incomprehensible to the females, he could only describe it as best as he could.

It had been a long time since he last mentioned his past life, so Yale assumed that some memories might have faded. However, just like a child who hadn't returned home for years, once he started talking about the food and customs of his homeland, he couldn't stop.

From gender characteristics to societal structures, he recounted a myriad of customs and traditions. After broadly discussing the larger picture, he delved into the specifics of his surroundings and events from his childhood.

"Our universities there are quite different from here. Let me tell you..."

The male insectoid had completely forgotten the ancient book on his knee. His gaze was fixed, lost in recollection, as he narrated and gestured with his hands, displaying an unwavering focus and enthusiasm.

Even though the angle prevented him from seeing Yale's exact expression, the slight quiver of his eyelashes was enough for Xi Ze to envision the gentle curvature of his brows and the brilliant light in his eyes.

The distant and unfamiliar world that he had glimpsed at hastily last night gradually came alive and took on vivid, tangible form through the drone's narration, filled with the warmth of humanity.

Lively, affectionate.

These were the feelings that Yale emphasized in his storytelling.

But he knew that every world had its dark side, and every life contained various hardships; there couldn't possibly be such a perfect and charming place.

It was just that, through the filter of memory, the beautiful aspects stood out even more, and due to the unresolved longing, they became an unattainable, luminous moon in his heart.

"...How wonderful."

Xi Ze's Adam's apple rolled for a moment as he swallowed his bitter emotions, softly echoing Yale's sentiment.

For Yale, being suddenly thrown into the insectoid civilization must have been a nightmare from which he couldn't wake up for a long time – a despair so deep that he might have contemplated ending his own life.

If given a choice, Yale would probably have chosen to go back home without hesitation. His presence and attempts to keep him might only bring annoyance, adding to his suffering.

"If I ever get the chance, I really want to take you there to see it. Ahem, you're tall and handsome, not inferior to the superstars on TV. You'd definitely get a hundred percent turn rate if we walked down the street!"

Unaware of the drone's disappointment, Yale pondered further and found the situation intriguing, but then he caught onto a crucial issue, causing him to hiss in realization.

"But you must have been an illegal resident back then, right? That could be tricky. Let me think..."

"Ignore that for now. When we get there, you can live with me, and we'll sort out your identity. After that, finding a job should be easy for you. Then we can commute together, take turns cooking, and travel to different places during our holidays..."

He envisaged an impossible yet beautiful and blissful future with an indescribable joy, as if they truly existed in a corner of another world, far away from wars and troubles, living peacefully, warmly, and freely, effortlessly holding hands through the rest of their lives.

A tide of emotion welled up in his eyes, his heart pulsing faintly, a mix of pain and pleasure. Xi Ze took a deep breath and softly responded to Yale's narration.

"Is that so? It would be difficult to sort out my identity, huh..."

"Where does the male sovereign reside? The houses near the school are indeed convenient for studying."

"No wars or political upheavals? That's a great system they have there. Our Empire has only evolved its technology over the years while lagging behind in areas like governance and social structures."

Their conversation flowed seamlessly, unhurried, but there was not much to fantasize about. Once the initial fervor faded, they were left with a quiet stillness once more.

Xi Ze hesitated for a long time before he couldn't resist whispering, "Sovereign, if one day… you…"

However, before he could stammer out his question, Yale suddenly said, "I actually don't like staying on the Central Planet."

The male insect's voice was too soft. Yale had just come down from his excitement, and his ears were still buzzing. He happened to miss that tentative inquiry.

"I don't like staying on the Central Planet."

Yale subconsciously repeated himself. Then, he lifted his head, looking at the window not far away as if he could see through the blurry stained glass to the endless sky outside.

He had initially wanted to stay in Altar all along. It was by sheer coincidence that he ended up staying, and then, step by step, he found himself mired in a quagmire, unable to extricate himself.

In his peripheral vision, he saw Xi Ze's hand pressed against the ground, clenched into a fist with veins bulging, seemingly suppressing a subtle tremor. However, the male insect remained silent, saying no more.

Yale's eyelashes fluttered slightly, and he turned away from the window, his gaze naturally falling onto the book in his arms.

The ancient book was old and heavy, but well-preserved, allowing him to clearly read its contents. The writing was somewhat different from the current script and was a world apart from the text on the other side.

Learning a new language alone was already difficult and painful; he still hadn't mastered it even now.

Earlier, some of the insects they met on Etar had teased that Your Excellency spoke with such refined eloquence, truly befitting a noble from the main planet, using complex grammar.

But that was only because he had forcefully learned the written language, far less concise and proficient than those insects who had lived on this land for decades or even centuries.

"You might not understand either. Since you don't fit in anywhere, why bother leaving the bustling main planet for a remote star, where the environment is harsh and benefits are low? It's entirely unnecessary."

Yale lowered his bent knee and gently leaned his head against the bookshelf, recalling his decision to abandon his studies and run to Etar. The emotions he felt back then were already fading from memory.

"On one hand, it's relatively backward there, with many things remaining outdated, somewhat resembling my former hometown.

"On the other hand, you can probably understand that the waters on the main planet run deep, filled with hidden chaos and turmoil. Rival factions vie openly and covertly, nobles form alliances... All of this directly affected my first differentiation, followed by countless troubles that severely disrupted my normal life."

His unexpected return to the main planet as an S-class male insect, yet still managing to find ample time to seek solitude, surprised him.

He supposed it was the female who stood in front of him, handling numerous matters and troubles on his behalf.

But even with the female striving to lift him up, preventing him from sinking into the mire, the cold black waters still reached his waist, consuming half his flesh.

The so-called freedom was merely freedom within a larger, more luxurious golden cage. Yet, no white bird would not yearn for the boundless sky, for it is an innate desire born from the depths of their soul.

A hush fell upon the air, so still that not even a whisper of wind dared to stir.

...Yet, he didn't say this to complain about Xi Ze pulling him into the storm without his consent. It wasn't the fault of the male insect at all.

Xi Ze has done his utmost, giving everything he possibly could.

Yale extended his hand, gently laying it over the Zerg male's tightly clenched fist. He carefully unraveled the trembling fingers and tenderly massaged the palm that had been squeezed to the point of bruising.

"But it's merely that I don't particularly favor it, not that I intend to leave."

Yale spoke softly, suddenly reminiscing about an old memory that remained vivid in his mind.

"When I was very young, around the time I was learning to walk, I would often refuse to stand up and walk even after I learned how. It was because my legs hurt terribly and felt so uncomfortable."

"Looking back now, it was probably due to an illness, but my mother didn't understand that. She thought I was just being lazy and wouldn't walk unless tempted with candy."

"The candies were delicious, and although walking was painful, I could endure it for them. But to encourage me to take more steps, she would step back every time I was almost there. Just before I couldn't bear it anymore and was about to cry, she would stuff the candy into my mouth."

Eventually, the illness seemed to have healed on its own, and he no longer had a mother who would gently and carefully guide him with a piece of candy in hand.

Each time he recalled those memories, all he could remember was the sweetness of that candy. The pain had long faded into obscurity, leaving only a vague concept behind.

In this world, agony was omnipresent, leaving no room for pure hope and happiness.

Even the warmth of sunlight and the facade of a sweet life were veiled in deception, while pain alone remained real, though now dulled, as if numbness had set in after ingesting a poisonous draught.

With crystal clarity, he realized he was undergoing transformation, helplessly sinking into the quagmire, powerless to escape the vortex of destiny.

Yet, to him, Xi Ze was that candy dangling before him, making him willingly endure suffering and stumble forward in pursuit.

As long as it remained in his mouth, its sweetness would sustain him indefinitely, rendering him indifferent to whether life was painful or tedious, false or true.

Yale meticulously conveyed these emotions to Xi Ze, then added, "I'm sorry for creating so many illusions earlier; they must have been torturous. But in reality, they were just daydreams."

"I won't have the chance to leave here... Of course, I won't return to Altar without permission."

He spoke softly, "Once, I could abandon everything to flee, but now, I have attachments I cannot part with. I can no longer be a snail hiding in its shell."

Neither Yale nor the female insect moved, so neither could see the other's expression. However, from the corner of his eye, Yale noticed the female insect lift her other hand to cover her eyes, taking a few rapid deep breaths.

"You don't need to understand that world, and it has nothing to do with you. It shouldn't become a burden in your heart… It's too painful, and it serves no purpose."

The sound he had just heard was probably the diary dropping, and the female must have seen its contents, which was why he wanted to know more.

But what did any of this have to do with Xi Ze?

The female had a heavy workload every day, entangled in various intrigues. Yet, he still managed to divert his attention to Yale, trying his best to take care of him in every way possible.

Xi Ze had no obligation to share his sorrows and thoughts, nor did he want to burden the male with the emptiness, boredom, and loneliness that festered in his life.

It wasn't because of any reservation or lack of affection; it was simply out of concern for the other's well-being.

"It's probably something like that."

Yale took a deep breath of the cold air, not feeling ashamed for being honest. In fact, some things should have been said long ago; they weren't significant at all.

"A bug once told me not to appear too obedient to you, or I'd be looked down upon by the noble male bugs. But I never really cared about that."

He shrugged, his tone light-hearted. "But since this is your domain, it's more fitting for you to be the guide and protector here."

This intricate web was so interconnected that it could no longer withstand any more earth-shattering events.

"I'll fulfill my obligations first, then follow my desires."

"My expectations are modest. As long as we can be together and live well, that's enough."

All that mattered was their safety.

The wish was both simple and arduous. Both he and his male partner were striving for it. The future was uncertain, but in truth, it was already sufficient.

"Something... significant..."

Xi Ze finally lowered his hand that had been covering his eyes, clearing his throat. His voice was a little hoarse as he said, "It does have meaning."

Yale was momentarily taken aback before realizing the male was responding to his earlier comment about everything being meaningless. He couldn't help but smile wryly.

What a delayed reaction.

He chuckled softly but fell silent, waiting for Xi Ze to explain the supposed significance. Unconsciously, his fingers traced circles in the male's palm, finding an inexplicable sense of comfort in the warmth that enveloped them.

There were no embraces or kisses today, but it seemed that they no longer needed such gestures to affirm each other's presence.

Merely knowing that he was seated beside him, still breathing softly, brought a profound sense of security to his heart.

Xi Ze tightened his grip, holding onto the mischievous fingers that playfully tickled his palm. Recalling the question that he hadn't dared to ask just now, he opened his mouth but ultimately refrained from disrupting this warm ambiance.

The male insectoid had said he wouldn't leave again, but only under the condition that returning was impossible. He ultimately didn't dare inquire—If given a choice, what would Yale do?

Perhaps fate had already silently arranged everything. All he could do was trust and wait.

Trust... That the promise Yale had made was born from the same love as his own, and wait to be chosen and favored steadfastly, just as he had always done for the male insectoid.

A bitter smile tugged at Xi Ze's lips. He cast his eyes down hastily, hiding the faint sadness in his gaze.

After a moment of silence, he softly asked, "Can Lord Male teach me your language?"

Yale was slightly taken aback.

Author's Note:

In the next chapter, there will be some... ahem, baby moments that you can look forward to (looking left and right) (no 'S' in sight) (safely crafting wheels).

Gag Scene:

Y: Chinese is incredibly difficult to learn.

X: How difficult? I don't believe you.

Three days later...

Y: Greetings to you! Not, 'hello'!

X: It's truly challenging, I believe it now... (Skeptical about life as a worm.jpg)