Chapter 83 She Wants Him

Chapter 83: She Wanted Him

His calloused fingertips, roughened by years of wielding blades, left faint red marks on her delicate cheeks as he wiped away her tears. Jiang Wanrou sniffled, her glistening tears clinging to her long, curled lashes, a sight so pitiful it tugged at one’s heartstrings.

She nuzzled submissively into his palm and closed her eyes.

“I... had a nightmare. When I woke up, you weren’t there. I was scared.”

Her expression was fragile, brimming with neediness, and even Lu Feng couldn’t help but soften. He lifted her into his arms and sat on the narrow daybed in the room, soothing her, “Don’t be afraid. I’m here.”

Throughout their journey, Jiang Wanrou had clung to Lu Feng like a fledgling bird, and now, having just recovered from illness, Lu Feng didn’t think much of it. He pressed gentle kisses on her forehead and eyelashes. His lips were cool but tender, laced with tender reverence.

The more tender he was, the worse Jiang Wanrou felt inside, and her tears flowed even harder.

Jiang Wanrou was not foolish—on the contrary, she was clever. The first time, in the Duke’s garden, Pei Zhang had said that if she ever faced difficulties, she could seek him out. The offer was wildly improper, but he had tactfully mentioned Huai Yi, making her dismiss it as overthinking.

The second time, in the Prince of Qi’s reception hall, he’d requested to leave the capital, helping her out of a momentary predicament. A flicker of suspicion arose, but she dismissed it as absurd. After all, they were both married—he was even her nominal "brother-in-law," and her husband was a prince of formidable power. Had he lost his mind?

Later, when she heard he had left the capital on imperial orders, she secretly breathed a sigh of relief. Perhaps she had been overthinking it? Lu Feng had also said that Pei Zhang cared more about his career and political standing. His intervention back then might have been for his own reasons.

But this time, the longing in his gaze was too raw, his words too blunt and burning. She couldn’t pretend not to understand.

Suddenly, she recalled Jiang Wanying’s mad ramblings about "past-life spouses." Perhaps it wasn’t baseless after all. As his wife, Jiang Wanying must have known what was in her husband’s heart, which was why she had come to Jiang Wanrou in hysterics.

Jiang Wanrou had entered her marriage to Lu Feng under scandal and had always been careful to leave no openings for gossip. If it had been anyone else who dared to covet her, she would have had them thrown out and then gone straight to Lu Feng to prove her innocence.

But she had softened toward Pei Zhang.

She didn’t know anything about "dreams," but the devotion in his gaze was so fierce it nearly swallowed her. Yet he was also restrained, expressing his feelings while adhering to propriety. She couldn’t bring herself to dislike him—instead, her heart ached for him even more.

Every time she saw him,

he seemed so sorrowful, making her chest ache with shared sorrow.

Perhaps in his dreams, there was a woman like her, and they had loved each other deeply.

Jiang Wanrou had coldly shattered his delusions. For Pei Zhang, a clean break would spare him prolonged agony. As for her, she had a husband and three children. Her husband was possessive and distrustful, and she would never allow her reputation to be tarnished in the slightest.

This was clearly the best outcome, yet she couldn’t meet Pei Zhang’s eyes. In that moment, she even entertained the absurd thought—what if she had never attended that banquet? What if Pei Zhang had come to propose to her instead? He was exactly the kind of scholar she had once admired—poor but promising, the ideal match in her eyes back then.

But there were no what-ifs. Life was unpredictable.

As his white-robed figure disappeared around the corner, Jiang Wanrou’s heart felt hollow. That indescribable, fleeting emotion surged and lingered. They had met only a handful of times, yet it left her on the verge of tears.

The weather was fine today, but Jiang Wanrou felt chilled to the bone. The unfamiliar, desolate courtyard stretched before her, and without thinking, she ran straight to Lu Feng. His familiar presence enveloped her, filling the emptiness in her heart.

She wanted him—desperately.

Jiang Wanrou undid the buttons of her robe, revealing half of her neck and shoulders, skin like fresh cream, glowing faintly in the dim light.

Suddenly, Lu Feng caught her wrist and pulled her half-shed jacket back up, wrapping her securely.

“None of that.”

His voice was strained, but his hands were steady as he fastened each button she had undone.

He said gently, “Not here. If you want it… wait until we reach the general’s residence.”

The journey would take nearly a month. Every night, they slept in each other’s arms. Jiang Wanrou chilled easily, and though their bodies pressed close, nothing more had happened. Lu Feng could be strangely principled at times. She was his lawfully wedded wife—they needn’t resort to vulgar haste in the wilderness.

Even here, with its solid walls and tiled roof, he still found the place crude and unworthy, feeling it was beneath her.

Lu Feng was never one to hold back. Back at Jin Guang Courtyard, they’d tried every surface—table, chair, rug, even in front of the mirror. Jiang Wanrou hadn’t expected him to suddenly act the gentleman now. She stared blankly, her reddened eyes wide, like the stunned little rabbit Lu Feng had once hunted.

He suddenly chuckled, pinching her cheeks. "You've lost weight."

"I’ll hunt a rabbit for you to play with tomorrow."

Rabbit meat was scrawny and tough—hardly worth the trouble, in Lu Feng’s opinion. But given their rough travels, he figured catching one might cheer her up. Unfortunately, rabbits were bullies—frozen stiff in Lu Feng’s presence, yet within a quarter of an hour in Jiang Wanrou’s hands, it had already scampered off.

Jiang Wanrou’s cheeks pinkened as she grumbled, "I’m not some child to be coddled with trinkets."

Lu Feng’s antics had lifted her earlier gloom. But he wasn’t done yet. Tilting her chin up, he eyed her before drawling lazily, "Why, you’re just a sweet sixteen. Where is your home? What are your parents’ names? Are you betrothed?"

Though dressed in solemn black brocade, he now looked every bit the scoundrel teasing a proper lady.

Jiang Wanrou shot him a reproachful glance, lifting a hand to half-cover her face. "What a pity, sir. This one’s already married. I fear there can be no bond between us."

"Oh?"

Lu Feng arched a brow, teasing, "What’s stopping us? This young master has power and influence. I’ll just bundle up that unlucky husband of yours and toss him in the river. Then you and I can still be together."

Jiang Wanrou feigned horror. "Who knew such a fine gentleman was a kidnapper!"

Lu Feng hummed, sighing dramatically. "Blame your pretty face, Miss. You’ve got me bewitched."

Jiang Wanrou glared. "Liar! You held back just fine before!"

Lu Feng shook with silent laughter, while Jiang Wanrou’s face burned crimson. She reached out and pinched his waist with her nails.

"Shameless."

He’d begun it, yet now… she looked like the eager one.

After their playful banter, Jiang Wanrou remembered the day’s serious matter. She told Lu Feng she had fully recovered and urged him to set off soon, not to delay here any longer.

Her kindness was taken the wrong way. Lu Feng wondered if he had truly neglected her lately. Was she really in such a hurry?

He softened his voice. "Just rest. Don’t overthink things."

"I’m really fine."

Jiang Wanrou hopped off his lap and spun in a circle. "See? I can run and jump. I’m perfectly well."

"Besides, I miss Qingling too."

Her dress hugged her waist, flaunting her slim frame—just the delicate look in fashion. But Lu Feng frowned repeatedly at the sight.

"Enough. Rest a little longer."

He leaned in, murmuring something in her ear. Jiang Wanrou’s ears burned, her eyes bright as she flitted in and out, cheeks aflame, leaving her maid Jintao completely lost.

***

She had thought Lu Feng was joking, but the next day, he truly brought her a rabbit—its fur as white as snow. Thrilled, Jiang Wanrou dubbed it "Snowball." With Snowball’s company, she rested for two more days until her complexion visibly improved. Only then did Lu Feng order their departure, resuming their hurried journey.

After a brief stop in Luoyun Town, Jiang Wanrou remained in good spirits for the rest of the trip. The remaining distance was short, and within days, the group arrived smoothly at Wei City.

Wei City, a military stronghold where Ling Xiao had stationed his family, boasted towering, thick walls. The battlements were staggered along the watchtowers, where armored soldiers stood ready with drawn bows, prepared to unleash a rain of arrows at the first sign of enemies. The gates were heavy iron slabs, bolted with copper rivets, opening only four hours a day without special orders.

Jiang Wanrou lifted the carriage curtain to look outside. Along the streets were vendors selling flatbread, farmers hawking radishes and cabbage, and hunters shouting, "Furs for sale!" Tavern doors gaped wide, soldiers in armor drinking within. Blacksmiths worked one after another, bellows wheezing as brawny men hammered weapons bare-armed in the winter chill.

Apart from the occasional clatter of iron hooves on the streets, a grim reminder that war was near, the city resembled a bustling town full of life.

"Wow, so this is what Weicheng looks like. It's so different from what I imagined," Jiang Wanrou said in wide-eyed wonder.

Suddenly, Lu Feng lowered the carriage curtain, cutting off her view.

"Don't show your face in public," he said coolly.

"Oh."

Jiang Wanrou answered glumly. After a while, the lively noise outside was too tempting. She tugged at Lu Feng's sleeve and said, "I noticed many women and young ladies out there earlier."

They walked proudly down the main streets without the company of fathers, brothers, or sons. Some even set up stalls selling cosmetics—something you'd never see in the capital.

In the capital, the higher-born a girl was, the more she was kept out of sight, hence the saying, "Raised in secluded chambers, unknown to the world." After marriage, they gained slightly more freedom, able to visit other households with formal invitations, but that was the extent of it. Noble ladies traveled in sedan chairs or carriages, with maids and servants running errands for them, never showing their faces. During major festivals like Qixi, they might stroll outside with their husbands' accompaniment, and those from stricter households even had to wear veils and face coverings.

Of course, none of this had anything to do with Jiang Wanrou. Yeah right - she could only dream of that kind of thing with someone like Lu Feng.

Lu Feng explained, "People here have looser customs. Women can go out and do business just like men."

With men away at war, if women here behaved like those in the capital—never stepping beyond their inner courtyards—how would they survive? The women here worked hard for their livelihoods, and over time, people grew accustomed to it.

He went on to tell her about a female butcher in the city, swift and precise, surpassing all the male butchers. Some frail men, unwilling to labor, would "marry into her household," and she took them all in, keeping several "husbands" at once.

Jiang Wanrou listened, amazed. Everything here felt so novel to her. Just as she was eager for him to continue, Lu Feng paused and looked at her. "While I'm away, stay put in the general's residence."

"Don't show your face in public."