Chapter 67

Chapter 67

Xu Yan woke up unusually early. In truth, he hadn’t slept well the entire night, tossed by several dreams.

Grandma and Shang Jia were still asleep, so Xu Yan pushed up his sleeves and started cleaning.

Though the furniture at home was a bit old, after wiping away the layer of dust, the whole place smelled warmly of aged wood, very comforting and pleasant.

Halfway through cleaning, the other two woke up. Shang Jia helped tidy the yard, while Grandma went to the kitchen to make breakfast—three humble bowls of vegetarian noodles. The three of them sat happily around the small table in the yard, enjoying their meal under the gentle sunlight.

Xu Yan stretched luxuriously.

Life in the small town moved at a slow pace, and for once he'd skipped finding part-time work during the holiday, allowing him to leisurely enjoy this peaceful, simple life with Grandma.

The only downside was that he didn’t have a smartphone. The clamshell phone Shang Jia lent him could only make calls and send texts—no internet.

But he couldn’t stay idle at home either. He sectioned off a small plot with fencing in the yard, planning to visit the market later to see if there were any chicks or ducklings for sale. He had raised three chicks and two ducklings at home before, but after he left for School and Grandma fell ill, they had to give them to neighbor Auntie Zhuang.

Now that he had time, he wanted to try raising them again.

Not long after, Zhuang Sheng arrived with some gifts.

"Grandma, my mom asked me to bring these over. She heard you were discharged from the hospital. Are you feeling better?"

"Much better, though I’m not as strong as before. Thank your parents for me, but take these back. Grandma won't use them—don’t let them go to waste." Grandma tried to push the gifts back into Zhuang Sheng’s hands.

Every year, Grandma refused the gifts, and like always, Zhuang Sheng left them and bolted.

At the door, he called out to Xu Yan, who followed him outside. They stood by the entrance and chatted for a bit.

"Didn’t you say you weren’t coming back for New Year’s?" Zhuang Sheng asked. "Did you two fight?"

Xu Yan closed the gate behind him, not wanting Grandma to hear. He kicked at a small pebble on the ground, silent.

Zhuang Sheng sensed something unusual. If even someone as mild-tempered as Xu Yan had run home, that guy must have really messed up.

He nearly laughed, barely suppressing his amusement. "Did you break up?"

Xu Yan kicked a larger pebble away, looking like a sulky child, still refusing to speak.

Zhuang Sheng couldn’t help but chuckle. "Does he know you’re back?"

Xu Yan thought for a moment, then shook his head. "I’m not telling him."

Zhuang Sheng understood—this wasn’t permanent.

"Friction is normal when two people live together," he said earnestly. "Running away isn’t the solution. If there’s a misunderstanding, clear it up quickly. The cold shoulder hurts more than arguments."

Xu Yan seemed to half-understand. "But I’m really angry."

Zhuang Sheng: "So he must have done something really bad to upset you, huh?"

Xu Yan nodded. "Beyond awful."

Zhuang Sheng: "Then tell him clearly. Explain why you’re angry, what he did that made you uncomfortable. Sometimes people don’t realize it themselves, but if you feel it, you should speak up. Even if it leads to a big fight, it’s better than bottling everything up. Don't let it eat at you."

Xu Yan listened carefully, feeling there was some truth to Zhuang Sheng’s words.

After Zhuang Sheng left, Xu Yan sat in the yard, lost in thought.

Shang Jia came out with a phone call for him, handing it over. "It’s Nan Li."

As soon as Xu Yan answered, Shen Nanli’s excited voice came through: "Yan Yan, you’re back! And even Shang Jia is here! Come meet me at the market—my dad and I are at the stall. It’s packed and buzzing here, with lots of good food. You two should come!"

Since Xu Yan had already planned to take Shang Jia to the market, they left soon after, letting Grandma rest at home.

The market wasn’t far, so they didn’t need to drive. Xu Yan took his e-bike, with Shang Jia riding behind him.

He wore a helmet, similar to the one he’d had at the café, ridiculously cute with its little dragon horns on top.

The e-bike whizzed down the alley, turning a corner and passing a black car parked by the roadside before disappearing from sight.

Wen Sinian sat in the car, a cigarette burning down between his fingers.

The five, six-hour drive had brought him here by 3 a.m.

Staring at the darkened wooden gate, he hadn’t gotten out of the car, remaining inside till daybreak, smoking one after another.

As the temperature in the car gradually dropped, knowing Xu Yan lay behind that door, sleeping soundly in the bed he’d grown up in, slowly eased his turmoil.

He hadn’t dared to park too close. The luxury sedan looked utterly out of place in this simple, narrow alley.

Just like him—as incompatible with Xu Yan’s life as the car was with the alley.

That morning, when Xu Yan and Zhuang Sheng stood chatting by the gate, Wen Sinian had observed from behind the windshield, silently finishing two more cigarettes.

He’d nearly quit smoking, but in his rush to leave, he hadn’t brought his medication. The only thing in the car was a carton of Marlboros—a stopgap.

He battled down the desperate urge to see Xu Yan, to hold him, kiss him, make him his. Otherwise, he feared he’d lose control and break through that fragile wooden door.

Those hours had given him a lot to think about.

He’d once believed that if he just treated Xu Yan well—better and better—even if Xu Yan discovered his darkest impulses, it wouldn’t matter. Xu Yan would grow dependent on him, and he’d never let go. They’d be bound together for life.

Or maybe he could hide the truth until after marriage. Xu Yan was conservative—once tied down by a marriage certificate, he’d never easily ask for a divorce. That way, Wen Sinian could keep him forever.

But things weren’t supposed to turn out like this.

The figure with the little dragon horns had already ridden off into the distance. Wen Sinian crushed out his cigarette and started the car, trailing at a careful distance.

If Xu Yan insisted on leaving, on coming home, then Wen Sinian would discover what held such appeal about this town.

The Aston Martin stood out like a sore thumb on the small-town streets. Passersby, whether they knew cars or not, turned to stare.

Only Xu Yan and Shang Jia remained oblivious.

His troubles momentarily forgotten, Xu Yan happily pointed things out to Shang Jia as they walked.

"There used to be a stall here that sold stuffed egg crepes. I loved them—the granny made them big and delicious, and they were super cheap. Five yuan got you extra with sausage and pork loin. Way better than the ones near School."

"This is my Elementary School. The entrance looks small, but the inside's just as cramped. When I was a student, there were only two classes per grade. I knew every single kid in School."

"And this little supermarket—they used to sell these incredible little cakes here..."

"In the summer, there’d be night markets here. They'd even screen open-air films, but I think they stopped..."

"This place..."

Xu Yan rattled off each detail like a tour guide, occasionally greeting acquaintances along the way with his characteristic politeness.

The two arrived outside the market, parked their e-bike, and followed the crowd inside.

With Lunar New Year approaching, young migrant workers and students who had been working or studying elsewhere had returned, turning the usually sleepy town into a lively hub during this time.

Shen Nanli spotted them from afar and waved. Xu Yan and Shang Jia bounded over excitedly.

The stall was filled with every kind of firework imaginable, with Shen Nanli minding it alone.

"My dad had something to do and left. My task today is to sell all of these before I can go home. If you two aren’t busy, come help me sell them—I’ll cut you in."

Shang Jia: "How much can you pay?"

Shen Nanli pulled out some cash and counted the bills. "At least enough to treat you both to something good. Xu Yan, remember that stuffed pancake stall we loved? The old lady is set up at the other end of the market. We’ll go buy some later."

Xu Yan’s eyes lit up. "Sure, sure!"

Shen Nanli found them each a small stool, and the three sat there like three sprouted potatoes.

Occasionally, someone would come by to ask about the fireworks. Shen Nanli was surprisingly skilled, selling two boxes in no time. But with dozens more still stacked behind them, clearing everything would take forever.

Suddenly, Shen Nanli held up his phone for Xu Yan to see. "Xu Yan, look! Our teacher just told me our short film made it to the second round of judging for the film festival!"

Xu Yan took the phone and studied it carefully, his eyes crinkling into crescents as he grinned. "That’s amazing! I never dared to hope, but maybe we’ll actually get nominated!"

Shen Nanli began daydreaming. "If we get nominated, we’ll get to attend the film festival in person—it’s in Berlin this year. And if we win, we might even blow up back home!"

Shang Jia promptly poured cold water on his excitement. "Blowing up is unlikely, but it’ll definitely be a major feather in your caps—a golden ticket into big directors’ projects."

Xu Yan and Shen Nanli exchanged glances, both grinning widely.

Shang Jia smacked each of them lightly on the head. "Save the dreams for tonight. Right now, focus on selling these fireworks."

Shen Nanli stood up and started loudly hollering their wares, while Xu Yan and Shang Jia, embarrassed, cringed and hid their faces.

After shouting for a while, not a single box was sold.

Exhausted, Shen Nanli sat back down to drink some water. Xu Yan asked, "What if we can’t sell them all?"

Shen Nanli: "Then we’ll just keep selling tomorrow—"

Before he could finish, a middle-aged man suddenly approached them. Without even asking the price, he said, "How much stock do you have left? I’ll take it all."

Shen Nanli nearly choked on his water in shock, but Xu Yan reacted faster. "You really want everything? Even this type of firecracker?"

The man waved him off. "No questions. Just give me a total price."

Dazed by this stroke of luck, Shen Nanli might have messed up the calculations if not for Xu Yan and Shang Jia helping tally the numbers.

After the man paid, a few helpers arrived to carry the goods away, clearing the stall in no time.

"Will you be back tomorrow?"

Shen Nanli nodded dumbly. "Yeah."

The man then looked at Xu Yan. "You too?"

Xu Yan glanced at Shen Nanli and nodded. "We’ll be here."

The man nodded. "Good. I’ll come back tomorrow and buy everything again."

With that, he left with his moneyed swagger, leaving the three of them behind, cheering in excitement.

Having overachieved his task, Shen Nanli generously pulled out two hundred-yuan bills. "Let’s go. Today, even if you eat your way through the whole market, I’ll foot the bill."

Xu Yan and Shang Jia didn’t hold back, eating their way from one end of the market to the other. Before leaving, each of them bought a stuffed pancake to enjoy.

After they left, another young man arrived at the stuffed pancake stall—dressed in a crisp suit, his refined demeanor stood out like a sore thumb.

The old lady running the stall asked, "What’ll it be, handsome?"

Wen Sinian countered, "What did the group before me order?"

"Oh, them? All three had the same—extra sausage and pork loin. Want the same?"

Wen Sinian eyed the greasy food cart and replied flatly, "Yes."

Xu Yan had loved these before, even crying to him once when the stall near his school disappeared.

Earlier, seeing Xu Yan so happy, Wen Sinian hadn’t dared to interrupt, silently following from a distance, watching him.

His hungry gaze seemed to ignore everything else, focusing solely on him.

Afraid Xu Yan would notice he was secretly watching again, afraid he’d think him some creepy stalker.

Afraid he’d get angry, afraid he’d say he never wanted to see him again.

Turns out, Xu Yan could be this happy, this full of life, even without him.

The stuffed pancake didn’t suit Wen Sinian’s taste, but he finished it anyway.

This was Xu Yan’s world without him—one he was stepping into for the first time.

*

Xu Yan, Shang Jia, and Shen Nanli had run off somewhere, leaving Wen Sinian to retrace his steps alone. Slowly driving back, he passed the night market, the convenience store, the elementary school, the street vendors…

When he returned to the alley, he happened to encounter an elderly woman basking in the sun by the door.

Parking his car in a hidden corner, Wen Sinian watched as the old woman opened her eyes and shuffled unsteadily toward him.

He immediately got out and strode over to support her.

Grandma looked at him, her cloudy eyes softening with sympathy. "Four years… When did you arrive?"

A lump rose in Wen Sinian’s chest. His hair slightly tousled, his voice hoarse, he answered, "This morning."

Understanding, she didn’t press further. "You haven’t eaten, have you? Come inside. Let me make you some noodles."

She turned toward the house first. Wen Sinian paused at the doorstep, carefully taking in the small, tidy courtyard.

From the kitchen window, Grandma called, "Why are you still standing there? Come in and help me."

Wen Sinian gave a slight nod and stepped inside.

Xu Yan and Shang Jia went to Shen Nanli’s place, where Shen Nanli insisted on cooking for them—only to nearly set the kitchen on fire. Afraid of getting scolded when the adults returned, the three frantically cleaned up and went out to eat instead.

Xu Yan and Shen Nanli took Shang Jia to their favorite potato starch noodle spot. By the time they left, it was already dark. Shang Jia was staying at Shen Nanli’s tonight—her way of "sharing the love" between both homes. Xu Yan rode his e-bike back alone in the dark.

It was only eight when he got home, but the house was pitch black.

Knowing Grandma went to bed early, Xu Yan tiptoed inside, feeling along the wall for the light switch. But no matter how many times he clicked it, nothing happened.

Xu Yan remembered he hadn't paid the electricity bill after returning, so it was probably cut off for non-payment. Since he couldn't pay via his phone right now, he decided to call Shang Jia and ask her to cover it for him temporarily.

As he flipped open his phone, a faint glow illuminated the screen.

Before he could dial, Xu Yan suddenly sensed something amiss. He lifted his gaze toward the sofa in the distance.

Amid the darkness, an ink-black shadow sat motionless and silent, radiating a ghostly, oppressive aura that seemed to have been lurking in the quiet room for who knows how long. It seemed to rush at Xu Yan like some invisible pressure.

Xu Yan's eyes flew wide in shock. No wonder he had felt something off when he entered—now, he let out an involuntary scream.

"Ah—"

Before the sound could fully escape his lips, the dark figure closed the gap between them in an instant. A large hand gently covered his mouth, cutting off the sound in his throat.

"Baby," the shadow murmured, the other hand sliding around his waist to steady him. The familiar deep voice soothed him softly, "It's me."

Xu Yan’s heart pounded wildly. Even though he immediately recognized the figure as Wen Sinian and not some ghost, his heartbeat wouldn't settle.

"Grandma’s asleep—don’t wake her," Wen Sinian breathed against his ear. "I’ll let go now, okay? Don’t scream."

Xu Yan’s lips were still pressed against Wen Sinian’s palm, the warmth seeping into his soft skin. His cheeks were slightly squished, making them puff out slightly, leaving only his large, glistening eyes visible under the dim phone light. They blinked twice, shimmering like stars, before he nodded in agreement.

Wen Sinian loosened his grip carefully, but the moment he did, Xu Yan immediately pulled away, stepping back to avoid further contact. His eyes bore into Wen Sinian in the dark, and he even wiped his mouth with his sleeve.

Wen Sinian lowered his hand, fingertips brushing against the faint dampness left behind. He rubbed his fingertips together slowly, pressing firmly.

The two stood in silence, staring at each other in the dark.

Then, Xu Yan heard footsteps from Grandma’s room, followed by the door opening with a creak.

Shit. He'd actually woken her.

Without thinking, Xu Yan grabbed Wen Sinian’s arm and shoved him into the small study where he usually slept, pulling it shut with a bang.

Grandma emerged with a flashlight, its beam sweeping over Xu Yan. Her voice thick with sleep. "You’re back, dear. Why’s the power out?"

Xu Yan hurried to support her. "Must be the unpaid bill. I’ll take care of it with my phone. Grandma, did I wake you? I’m sorry—go back to sleep."

Grandma made a sleepy sound of acknowledgment but then lifted the flashlight, sweeping the beam around the empty room, frowning. "Where did he go? Did he leave already…?"

Xu Yan’s heart was still racing, so he barely registered her words. After guiding her back to bed, he finally returned to the doorway to change his shoes before heading to the study.

The man inside hadn’t moved—still frozen where he stood, not touching anything, not sitting.

His tall form stood like a stone pillar, making the cramped room feel even smaller.

Wen Sinian couldn’t describe what he was feeling. Earlier, he had spent time with Xu Yan’s grandma, chatting briefly and eating the simple noodles she'd cooked—just like the ones Xu Yan used to prepare. His stomach warmed, but his heart ached as if being slowly crushed.

Later, he sat alone on the sofa, waiting for Xu Yan to return, his mind racing with thoughts of where he had gone, who he had met, what he had said. That possessive feeling crept back in—he still wanted to know everything about Xu Yan, yet he forced himself to stay put.

He let the creeping vines of bitterness choke him, doing nothing to resist.

Here, in the environment where Xu Yan grew up, he absorbed, adjusted, explored, learned.

Why couldn’t they just become one?

Xu Yan had already made his way to the bed in the dark, sitting down before he could figure out what to say. But the shadow moved first, moving to stand directly before him.

He had to tilt his head back just to vaguely make out the outline of the figure.

Then, Wen Sinian knelt on one knee before him. Xu Yan instinctively lowered his gaze, finally looking down at him.

"Baby."

Wen Sinian’s voice was soft, tender—pleading. He gazed up at Xu Yan with reverent submission, gently resting his hands on Xu Yan’s knees.

"Don’t be mad anymore, okay? I was wrong. I shouldn’t have hidden things from you, shouldn’t have lied. Forgive me?"

Xu Yan pushed his hands away, only for Wen Sinian to grasp his calves instead, kneading them with just the right pressure.

Wen Sinian knew exactly where he was most sore—after running around all day and staying out so late, he worked the knots from Xu Yan’s legs with practiced precision.

Xu Yan had to admit it felt good. Wen Sinian understood his body better than he did himself.

Since it was a free massage anyway, Xu Yan kept his expression stern, letting the massage continue while demanding coldly, "Who told you to come to my house? And how did you even know where I live? Did you install tracking software on me somewhere else too?"

Wen Sinian: "Nothing else. I only used the phone tracker because I worry about you. But if you don’t like it, I’ll never do it again, okay?"

Xu Yan frowned. "I don’t like it. It feels like you’re always watching me—I’m not some criminal."

Wen Sinian sounded sincere. "You're right. My mistake."

Xu Yan wasn’t letting him off the hook. "You still haven’t explained why you’re in my house."

Wen Sinian: "Zhao Qingji gave me the address. You sent me a message and then vanished without a word—was that you breaking up with me?"

Xu Yan bit his lower lip, deliberately staying silent.

The silence made Wen Sinian's breath hitch. He released Xu Yan’s legs, settling between his knees instead, leaning in to breathe in his scent.

His voice was low, husky and unsteady. "Do you really… want to break up?"

Xu Yan got a noseful of cigarette smoke on him and wrinkled his nose in distaste, shoving at his shoulders. "Get away from me."

Wen Sinian caught his hand, pressing Xu Yan's hand to his own cheek. His breath came hot. "Didn’t you say you loved me? Didn’t you promise to be my family? Are you taking it back now?"

Xu Yan hadn’t expected that. He froze, giving Wen Sinian the opening he needed.

Wrapping his arms around Xu Yan’s waist, Wen Sinian buried his face against the softness of his stomach, clinging to him. His voice was heavy, quiet—raw with loneliness.

"Baby… are you really done with me?"