Chapter 98 20

Chapter 98

The taxi ride lasted over twenty minutes. By the time they got out, Li Shang needed He Lin’s support to walk.

Upstairs, Li Shang’s fingers trembled as he tried to enter the code on the lock. Feeling dizzy, he entered the wrong password twice. He Lin took his shaking hand and asked, “What are the numbers?” Li Shang softly muttered six digits. Instead of letting go to input them himself, He Lin held Li Shang’s hand, guiding him to key in the numbers. Compared to Li Shang’s trembling and cold fingers, He Lin’s hand was steady and warm.

The door finally opened.

He Lin changed into slippers at the entrance, then helped Li Shang inside and settled him in bed.

After stepping out of the bedroom, He Lin scanned the room. It was exactly as he remembered from his last visit—spotlessly clean and starkly cold, with everything neatly tucked away in drawers. There were no superfluous or useless ornaments, as if no one had truly lived there during all that time.

He Lin wanted to get Li Shang some warm water, but the electric kettle was in the kitchen and needed to be boiled. He found a cup, went to boil water, and while waiting, he noticed the refrigerator again.

It was still covered in those colorful fridge magnets, their positions and angles identical to how he’d seen them before. He Lin remembered the sharp, piercing pain he’d felt in his head the last time he saw them, so he’d looked away after just a glance. Li Shang was lying half-conscious on the bed; He Lin couldn’t afford to lose himself over this again.

Yet, inexplicably, He Lin’s gaze kept wandering back. He shook his head—this time, he felt no discomfort. He reached out, intending to touch one of the fridge magnets. It should have been red, but prolonged sun exposure had faded it, making its original color hard to discern.

Before his fingers could touch it, He Lin heard noises from the bedroom—Li Shang seemed to have gotten out of bed.

He Lin quickly abandoned his contemplation and hurried to check on Li Shang. The bathroom light was on, and the sound of muffled retching came from inside.

Perhaps Li Shang had been in a hurry when closing the door; the lock hadn’t fully engaged, only slightly catching the door. He Lin pressed the handle firmly and pushed twice, and the door swung open.

The sight that greeted him was a disheveled Li Shang, kneeling on the floor with his head almost in the toilet, vomiting violently.

He Lin paused at the doorway. Confronted with this scene, he felt no physical discomfort but instead a deep, heart-wrenching pity welling up from within.

*He had a weak stomach; vomiting like this must be agonizing.*

As He Lin stood watching, Li Shang finished vomiting, flushed the toilet, and tried to push himself up using the edge of the toilet. But his head was spinning, his limbs weak—not only did he fail to stand, but he slipped and fell backward.

Startled, He Lin rushed forward without hesitation, catching Li Shang in his arms, pulling him into a tight embrace.

The smell of alcohol mixed with a faint hint of mint rushed to He Lin’s head. He had drunk today too and had been fine, but holding Li Shang now, he suddenly felt the alcohol’s effects surging, a wave of heat spreading from his chest throughout his body.

Before He Lin could ponder this strange sensation, Li Shang jolted in his arms. He Lin snapped back to attention and looked down at the man in his embrace.

Li Shang’s face was even paler, his hands pressing tightly against his abdomen, veins standing out on the back of his hands, the fabric of his shirt deeply wrinkled. His brows were furrowed, as if he was in too much pain to think clearly. Perhaps the pressure wasn’t helping; Li Shang began pressing harder, as if trying to push through his own stomach.

He Lin knew how strong his hands were—this kind of pressure would surely cause harm. He quickly tried to pull Li Shang’s hands away.

“Let go, don’t press so hard. You’ll hurt yourself.”

But Li Shang, overwhelmed by alcohol and pain, wouldn’t listen. He continued pressing down relentlessly. He Lin changed his grip and tried to pry his hands away.

Just then, Li Shang’s body jerked twice, breaking their stalemate. Instinctively, he leaned forward toward the toilet, his chest heaving as he vomited again.

Taking the chance, He Lin hurried to the kitchen to get some water. When he returned with a glass of warm water, Li Shang was propped against the toilet bowl, head resting on his arm, gasping for air. His hand still rested lightly on his abdomen, but without the earlier force.

Usually, drunkenness or stomach pain subsides over time, especially after vomiting.

He Lin saw that Li Shang seemed better now—at least his stomach probably didn’t hurt as much after throwing up.

“Li Shang, wake up. Rinse your mouth.”

This time, Li Shang was surprisingly obedient, rinsing when told and spitting when instructed. But this compliance didn’t last long. Seeing that Li Shang probably didn’t need to vomit anymore, He Lin tried to take him back to bed—staying on the bathroom floor wasn’t helping.

Now, Li Shang began to resist.

He Lin tried to pull him up, but Li Shang refused.

He Lin had seen Li Shang’s moves before; even drunk, someone with good reflexes is hard to handle.

When He Lin reached for his wrist, Li Shang twisted it, using a counter-grip move. Caught off guard, He Lin lost his balance and nearly fell into Li Shang’s arms.

Fortunately, He Lin reacted quickly, withdrawing his hand and using the other to grab Li Shang’s arm. But Li Shang, operating on muscle memory even in his confused state, easily broke the hold.

Pivoting from his elbow, he traced an arc—a seemingly casual move that effortlessly neutralized He Lin’s attempt.

Seeing this, He Lin stopped playing nice. He bent down, ready to grab Li Shang by the waist and carry him out.

Just as his fingers touched Li Shang’s waist, before he could lift him, Li Shang—eyes still closed—pulled He Lin’s hand forward.

Even with prior experience and caution, He Lin was nearly thrown off balance, almost falling onto the toilet before steadying himself.

He Lin saw Li Shang, eyes closed but wearing a cocky look as if taunting him, and felt a surge of frustration.

But the bathroom was cramped, and despite his irritation, He Lin was concerned about Li Shang’s condition and didn’t want to make it worse.

The two “sparred” in the bathroom until He Lin, exhausted, finally gave up and sat down opposite Li Shang.

Both leaned against the bathroom walls, breathing heavily. Li Shang, perhaps sobering up, opened his eyes. They sparkled as he looked at He Lin, a gentle smile playing on his lips. Just one glance made He Lin’s heart race, the alcohol surging through him, his breathing quickening.

This was a Li Shang he had never seen before—hair slightly disheveled, cheeks flushed from drinking, eyes usually clear and aloof now unusually soft and dreamy with tenderness.

For a moment, He Lin hesitated to dwell on whether that gaze was meant for him or for someone else beyond.

He even nervously glanced back at the wall behind him.

As He Lin’s thoughts wandered, Li Shang suddenly looked at him and chuckled softly. Under He Lin’s bewildered gaze, Li Shang tilted his head back against the wall. When he looked down again, his eyes were rimmed red, unclear whether from drunkenness or tears.

But his smile was filled with undeniable sadness.

He Lin felt Li Shang’s eyes held a thousand unspoken words, but he couldn’t decipher them.

“You should understand!” a voice yelled inside He Lin’s mind. “Look at him properly.”

As He Lin wrestled with these thoughts, Li Shang began coughing again, so violently he could barely breathe, snapping He Lin back to reality. He moved closer, wrapping an arm around Li Shang’s shoulder as he slumped weakly to the side.

Pulling him into an embrace, He Lin felt his heart swell. Looking down, he realized Li Shang was gazing up at him.

“He Lin,” Li Shang murmured, his voice hoarse and low, before smiling again.

Li Shang’s arms encircled He Lin’s waist. “He Lin, what should I do with you?”

Where Li Shang touched him felt like it was burning. He Lin had never imagined the usually icy Li Shang could be like this. Surprised but not repulsed, he felt a faint impulse as he looked at Li Shang’s delicately carved features.

He Lin reached out, touching Li Shang’s flushed cheek, and said helplessly, “You’re stealing my lines.”

In response, Li Shang looked puzzled, tilting his head in He Lin’s embrace and murmuring, “Hmm?”

He Lin's Adam's apple bobbed as he looked at Li Shang, his eyes beginning to redden. He fixed his gaze intently on Li Shang before finally lowering his head, intending to kiss him.

Before his lips could meet Li Shang's, the man in his arms curled up.

He Lin’s kiss met empty air, and he snapped out of it as if waking from a dream, suddenly realizing what he had been about to do.

Just as he was regretting it, Li Shang broke free from his embrace again and went to vomit once more. This time, after throwing up, Li Shang was completely exhausted. After washing up, he allowed He Lin to carry him out of the bathroom by the waist.

He was much more alert now, but with sobriety came heightened sensitivity to pain. Li Shang’s stomach felt as though it were being twisted with hot tongs—burning and aching. Even though he was familiar with pain, he could barely endure it this time. He curled up, unable to move, his breathing labored with pain.

Seeing that something was wrong, He Lin grew concerned. The man who had been smiling at him just moments ago was now curled into a ball. Without even asking, He Lin knew his stomach was hurting again.

Because he had been drinking and had vomited repeatedly, He Lin didn’t dare to give him medication carelessly. He called out to Li Shang, “Stay awake, hang in there. I’ll take you to the hospital.”

By now, Li Shang was fully alert from the pain. He opened his eyes and said, “It might be a spasm… not the first time. It usually eases up after a few hours.”

Hearing how strained his voice sounded, He Lin knew it couldn’t be as simple as he made it sound. Anxiously, he said, “It’s not okay to endure this much pain.”

“It’s nothing serious, I won’t die,” Li Shang said before his expression suddenly changed and he paused. He reached for a square electronic alarm clock by the bed and pressed its sharp corner firmly into the painful area of his abdomen.

He Lin grabbed the clock from him. “Stop it, you’ll break it.”

Without the pressure, Li Shang curled up in pain, taking shallow, ragged breaths.

Seeing him suffer, He Lin placed his hand over the blanket on Li Shang’s abdomen, trying to alleviate the pain. Just by pressing lightly, he could feel something churning inside. Suddenly, there was a violent contraction, and Li Shang bit his lip, grabbing He Lin’s hand. His fingers were ice-cold, and his body stiffened for a few seconds before slowly relaxing.

He Lin frowned, certain Li Shang wasn't fine. “I’ll call an ambulance.”

Sweat beaded on Li Shang’s forehead, but he shook his head faintly. “No need to go to the hospital… not much they could do anyway…” He pointed to the bedside cabinet. “There’s medicine inside.”

He Lin opened the cabinet. The top shelf was filled with medication—some for anemia, some for external injuries, but mostly pain relievers. Li Shang pointed to one of them, an injectable drug.

He Lin had seen Dr. Song give it to him before. This medication worked quickly, and if it could truly relieve the pain, it seemed better than going through the emergency room process.

He Lin opened the box and read the instructions, which were all in English. Hesitating, he messaged Dr. Song on WeChat to confirm whether alcohol would have adverse reactions with the drug.

He soon received a reply from Dr. Song.

Seeing Li Shang in such agony, He Lin’s heart went out to him, and he finally administered an injection.

Even after the injection, Li Shang continued to suffer for a while. He Lin stayed by his side, gently massaging his abdomen through the blanket. Perhaps too weak to resist, Li Shang didn’t push him away.

After some time, Li Shang began to recover slightly, at least enough to speak coherently: “Thank you for your trouble. The medication should take full effect in a few more minutes. I should be fine soon.”

He Lin regarded him with concern. “It’s too late, and you’re not feeling well. I’ll stay tonight. Can I use the couch in the living room?”

Li Shang nodded weakly and pointed. “The blankets and pillows are in the cabinet.”

He Lin opened the wardrobe and saw some bedding on the top shelf, including an old pillow. Though clearly used, it had been washed clean and well-maintained.

.

Li Shang lay in bed.

He had indeed drunk on purpose, hoping deep down that He Lin would notice his discomfort and take him home.

But he hadn’t expected things to get out of hand. Those two bottles of beer had triggered severe stomach spasms and stirred up old injuries too.

Worse still, he had somewhat blacked out. His alcohol tolerance wasn’t originally this poor, but after several serious injuries and pent-up emotions, he ended up getting extremely drunk.

His last memory was of being violently ill in the bathroom. He couldn’t remember what happened after that. When he regained consciousness, He Lin was carrying him back to bed, but the pain was so intense he couldn’t think clearly.

It felt as though an invisible hand were clenching his gut, twisting them mercilessly. The pain made him break out in cold sweat and gasp for air.

Later, even someone as pain-tolerant as him began to falter. His vision kept blurring, and combined with hypoxia, he felt a sense of dying.

After the injection, there was a period of extreme discomfort. Though he had nothing left to vomit, he still felt terribly nauseated and panicky, sweating so much he seemed soaked through as if he'd been pulled from water.

He didn’t use that injectable medication often. While highly effective once it took effect, the side effects were severe.

One of the side effects was mental numbness, causing mild hallucinations and even pupil dilation.

Already on the verge of passing out from pain, the drug’s mental numbness effect made him feel completely out of control.

He Lin stayed by his side, caring for him—wetting a towel to wipe his face, bringing him a glass of warm water.

Li Shang’s vision began to blur. He struggled to focus, gazing at He Lin’s figure. A thought echoed in his mind: *You should tell him. Otherwise, who knows how long it will take for him to remember you?*

Another voice desperately protested: *No, you can’t tell him. We’ve come this far. Endure a little longer, and everything will get better.*

For a moment, Li Shang felt he couldn’t hold on any longer. His body and mind were at their weakest, his consciousness hanging by a thread.

Suddenly, he called out, “He Lin…”

Uncertain what he wanted, He Lin knelt on one knee beside the bed and turned to look at him.

Li Shang gripped his hand tightly. As the medication took full effect, his vision grew increasingly hazy.

He Lin seemed to be standing far away, looking back at him gently.

Just like in his dreams over the past two years.

As if, in the next second, he would turn and walk away.

“There was someone…” Li Shang’s voice shook, his chest heaving as he struggled to catch his breath before continuing, “I loved him deeply…”

His heart pounded loudly.

Feeling the warmth of He Lin’s hand, he held on tightly, closed his eyes, and brought He Lin’s hand close, gently pressing his cheek against it.

“But I lost him.” His voice grew faint, and he frowned slightly. “What should I do…”

Finally voicing the secret he had long guarded, Li Shang felt as if the pressure in his chest eased.

He only felt exhausted, his eyelids heavy and unable to open.

Dreams gradually enveloped him, and with the aid of the medication, the turmoil within subsided, fading into a dull, bearable ache.

The pain had drained all his strength, and he finally sank into an exhausted sleep.

.

He Lin sat by his bedside for a long time. Li Shang was probably too drunk to remember, but He Lin recalled clearly that he had asked twice today what he should do.

Both times, He Lin hadn’t known how to answer. He even wanted to ask Li Shang, *What should I do about you?*

He tucked the blanket around Li Shang, turned off the light, and left the room.

Worried that Li Shang might feel unwell during the night or call for him without being heard, he left the door open.

Then, he ordered some basic toiletries through a delivery service, washed up, and lay down on the sofa in his clothes.

He Lin found it hard to fall asleep, his mind replaying everything that had happened today.

He Lin still remembered clearly Li Shang’s gentle smiling eyes as he looked up at him, the way he tilted his head, even the warmth of his arms wrapped around his waist.

He admitted that in that moment, his heart had raced wildly for Li Shang.

Then He Lin recalled how, suffering from his illness, Li Shang's face had turned pale, his eyes glazed over, his forehead drenched in sweat. He had completely lost his usual composure, revealing a rare vulnerability that only surfaced around those he was familiar with.

Especially when he spoke of having lost that person, there were tears welling up in Li Shang's eyes, like his eyes were breaking.

Who was that person he mentioned?

A past lover?

Had he held He Lin's hand because he mistook him for someone else?

He could tell that Li Shang was genuinely heartbroken. For someone usually so calm to lose control like this, the emotions must have been incredibly intense.

Had they broken up now?

He Lin felt intensely jealous. The warm flutterings from moments ago vanished, replaced by a pang of jealousy that left him irritated.

In the past, when he heard others talk about jealousy, he never thought it would happen to him.

But now, He Lin felt that the first person to use "drinking vinegar" to describe this feeling was truly a genius.

His current sensation was like mistaking vinegar for wine and drinking an entire bottle—the acidity burning his stomach lining, rising all the way to his brain, clouding his thoughts.

After a while, he went in to check on Li Shang again. He was sleeping peacefully and hadn’t developed a fever.

He Lin sat back in the same spot, watching Li Shang. Even in sleep, his brows remained furrowed, which made He Lin uncomfortable. He tried to smooth them with his thumb, but the frown persisted.

After a moment’s thought, He Lin figured he might still be slightly drunk, or perhaps recalling Li Shang’s appearance had made him feel drunk all over again.

He Lin did something he had been wanting to do earlier—he leaned down and brushed his lips to Li Shang’s forehead. Though it lasted only a moment, it left He Lin feeling satisfied.

He even thought to himself: No matter who Li Shang had in his heart before, from now on, the person by his side would only be me.

Every half hour, He Lin got up to check on him, making sure he was alright, watching Li Shang’s pale face as he slept.

He gave him water once, making sure he was comfortable. It wasn’t until almost morning that He Lin finally prepared to sleep. The combination of alcohol and staying up late had given him a headache.

Before falling asleep, a thought flashed through He Lin’s mind: Could this pillow belong to that person in his heart?

Just the thought made his jaw clench with jealousy.

Then it occurred to him that it might just be a pillow Li Shang had used in the past.

Instantly, the pillow beneath his head felt comfortable again.

He gradually fell asleep.

.

The next morning, He Lin woke from his dream and thought of Li Shang, wondering how he was doing.

He Lin got up and tiptoed into the living room. Pushing open the door to Li Shang’s bedroom, he saw that he was already up—he had even showered, changed clothes, and tidied the room.

He Lin was surprised: “When did you wake up?”

“About an hour ago. I saw you were still asleep, so I didn’t wake you.” Then he added, “You worked hard last night. I’m not much of a cook, so I just made some porridge.”

He Lin: “…”

He had slept so soundly that this patient had actually made breakfast.

After a quick wash-up, the two sat facing each other at the small dining table, eating plain rice porridge with pickled vegetables.

Li Shang was back to his usual quiet self, as if the vulnerable version from yesterday had never existed.

As they ate, Li Shang said to He Lin, “By the way, Captain He, I’d like to request a few days off.”

He Lin thought to himself that this person was finally learning to take care of himself—a step in the right direction.

He replied, “Sure, I’ll approve a few days of sick leave for you.”

But Li Shang paused his spoon, looked up, and said, “Not sick leave.” He explained, “There’s some past work I need to take care of. It’ll take about ten days. The base will send a request here later; you just need to approve it.”

He Lin was surprised: “Are you well enough?”

Li Shang said, “It’s fine. One more day of rest today should be enough. I’ll leave on Monday.”

“Should I see you off?”

“No need, a car will pick me up.”

He Lin let out an “oh.” For some reason, although the two had grown closer yesterday, this morning, even face to face, they seemed distant again.

After finishing the porridge, Li Shang began to hint it was time to leave: “You didn’t sleep well last night, so go back and rest early.”

He Lin had no reason to stay. He walked to the door, reluctant to go, and looked back.

Li Shang asked him, “What is it? Did you forget something?”

He Lin’s gaze fell on the fridge in the kitchen: “Your fridge has a lot of refrigerator magnets… Last time you mentioned they were left by your friend. There’s a red one that’s quite special—where did you get it?”

“Oh, that…” Li Shang glanced back. “If you like it, I can give it to you.”

He Lin walked over, without hesitation peeled off the old red refrigerator magnet, and put it in his pocket.

He said goodbye and walked downstairs.

.

After seeing He Lin off, Rong Qing let out a sigh of relief. This morning, he had gone over everything that happened last night, and it was truly hard to accept.

His old injury had acted up in front of He Lin, and what had he been rambling about?

He had even pondered for a while how to explain if He Lin asked.

Fortunately, a call came from the base leadership, asking him to return and help draft exercise plans. Rong Qing calmly agreed.

After hanging up, he felt as though he’d been saved.

During breakfast with He Lin, he had been tense, afraid He Lin would bring it up.

Luckily, He Lin didn’t mention it.

After safely sending He Lin off, Rong Qing went to the living room and put away the pillow. Keeping some old things always proved useful.

Rong Qing thought ten days should be enough. By then, he should have figured out how to deal with He Lin.

.

He Lin walked out onto the street, took out his phone, and called He Yuan.

He Yuan answered.

He Lin asked, "Where are you guys?"

"At the scenic area. We’ve got the tickets, don’t worry. We’re two adults; we’ll make our own way back later."

He Lin said, "I want to ask you something. Over the past few years, were you and Li Shang close?"

There was a pause on the other end of the line. "Sort of."

He Lin asked, "Did he have a boyfriend before?" His intuition told him that Li Shang had indeed had a boyfriend, and it was probably a former colleague from the base.

"Ah, what? Who told you that?" He Yuan was clearly caught off guard. Why was he asking this so early in the morning?

He Lin said, "Li Shang said it himself."

Silence fell on the other end. He Yuan felt something was off, but he was afraid this might be part of some couple’s roleplay. He didn’t want to mess things up. If they were talking face-to-face, he could have read the expressions, or if it were an online chat, he could have asked for more context. But being put on the spot like this over the phone left He Yuan stunned.

Faintly, Zhu Xiaonian’s voice seemed to come through on the other end: "What? Asking about a boyfriend? Tell him…"

It sounded like someone was struggling for the phone.

After a moment, He Yuan’s voice came back. He stammered for a while before saying, "Oh, sorry, we were in line here just now, and the wind was a bit loud. Well, yes, you could say so. But it’s all in the past, no need to dwell on it."

He Lin fell silent.

He Yuan seemed to have decided to steer the conversation. He turned the conversation around and advised, "You like Li Shang, don’t you? Don’t deny it—you can’t take your eyes off him. If you like him, just go for it."

They chatted a bit more before He Lin hung up. He took the fridge magnet out of his pocket and looked it over carefully.

The ten days off would be good. It would give him time to sort through his feelings and figure out what to do next.

Take it slow. Eventually, he would bring all those beautiful fridge magnets home, one by one, and cover his fridge with them.

.

The day passed quickly. Daylight faded, and night fell once again.

Darkness settled over the world.

On the other side of Yuncheng, a high-level industry conference had just concluded.

Under the bright lights, the venue was illuminated. Beyond the floor-length windows lay the most bustling streets of Yuncheng.

The guests had already left the venue. A tall man hurried over to the speaker who had just come off stage. The man whispered a few words into his ear, then looked at him, waiting for his response.

The speaker calmly took a seat in a nearby chair and tapped the armrest with his slender fingers.

"Those two again… Quite troublesome."

He pondered for a moment before making a decision. He said, "Since the Qin family has already placed the order, send someone to take care of it."

The man asked, "How should we deal with it? An accident, or…"

The speaker shook his head gently. "For people with high alertness, accidents aren’t so easily arranged." He paused, a faint, wicked smile curling at the corners of his mouth. "Since they’re such outstanding officers, let them sacrifice themselves while making an arrest…"