Chapter 104 06

Chapter 104: 06

At 5:30 in the afternoon, He Lin arrived first at the agreed-upon Japanese restaurant. As soon as he entered, he gave Zhu Xiaonian’s name, and the staff led him to a private dining room.

The room was arranged as a windowless space, dimly lit by an orange lamp illuminating the table.

Shortly before six, Zhu Xiaonian also arrived. He came in, sat down, and greeted He Lin.

He Lin looked up at him and said, "I’ve seen Rong Qing. You’ve seen him recently too, haven’t you?"

For a moment, Zhu Xiaonian felt as if these words had hit him like a bombshell. He shot up from his seat, eyes wide with shock, and exclaimed, "You remember? Rong... Li Shang... does he know?"

He Lin hadn’t remembered everything.

But Zhu Xiaonian’s reaction and his words told him that his guess was correct.

Since waking abruptly from his dream that morning, He Lin had been pondering this question.

Being in criminal investigation himself, he had been too close to the situation to see it clearly.

Rong Qing had later also taken a leadership role in Blue Sparrow. Once he entertained this possibility...

Every time he tried to follow this line of thought, his head ached more intensely, as if his brain was being scrambled, making it impossible for him to think deeply.

Those past events remained hazy, but he needed to confirm this first.

Was Li Shang actually Rong Qing?

So, at dinner that evening, he decided to confront Zhu Xiaonian with this question right from the start.

As soon as they met, He Lin said those words with conviction.

Zhu Xiaonian’s reaction gave him the affirmative answer.

Then, Zhu Xiaonian asked in surprise, "You remember?"

He Lin shook his head. "No, I came to ask you about this. Now I know the answer."

Zhu Xiaonian suddenly realized: "He Lin, you tricked me!" He bolted upright instead of sitting back down.

"You can’t tell Captain Rong that I told you!" Then he corrected himself, "No, I didn’t tell you anything—you figured it out yourself!"

Seeing his agitation, He Lin reassured him instead: "It’s fine, I just wanted to confirm my guess. I haven’t pieced together everything yet, so I won’t tell him. Even though I haven’t remembered the specifics, thank you anyway. At least now I know."

Zhu Xiaonian took a deep breath, sat down beside He Lin, and tried to calm himself. "Forget it, let’s eat first."

He pressed a bell to summon the server. As old comrades, he didn’t need to ask what He Lin liked and rattled off the order, closing the menu afterward. Then he asked He Lin, "Want some sake? They recently got some plum wine that’s pretty good."

Remembering what Dr. Liu had said about alcohol stimulating brain cells, He Lin replied, "Let’s give it a shot."

Japanese food doesn’t need complicated cooking, and soon several plates of sashimi arrived. Zhu Xiaonian was generous, ordering six foot-long lobsters and freshly scooped uni, bright orange like egg yolks.

Then Zhu Xiaonian instructed the server, "You can go now. Close the door. My friend and I haven’t seen each other in a long time and need to talk privately. Unless the door opens, no matter what you hear, don’t disturb us."

The server replied, "Certainly. Enjoy your meal."

As soon as the door closed, Zhu Xiaonian filled He Lin’s cup from a small bottle.

For a while, neither spoke.

He Lin usually enjoyed Japanese food, but today he had no appetite for anything in front of him.

They sat facing each other, knocking back one drink after another.

After a while, Zhu Xiaonian sighed and said, "I’ll do this for you and help you connect the dots. Tell me, what do you remember?"

This was exactly why He Lin had come today, and he was more than willing to have Zhu Xiaonian’s help.

He Lin struggled to think with his spotty memory: "The situation is, Li Shang is Rong Qing. Though I don’t know why he changed his name and came to Yuncheng, we’ve been on good terms lately..."

Here, He Lin felt a bit guilty—if he excluded those times he’d made cutting remarks about Rong Qing in front of Li Shang...

It seemed like it was always those incidents that made Li Shang uncomfortable...

But his memory was missing too much of the past, like a piece of paper riddled with burn holes.

His usually sharp deductive skills were useless now. He could parse complex clues but couldn’t fill in the blanks of his memory.

He Lin didn’t know how to express it—the two names felt completely different to him. So when he realized he thought they were the same person, it felt bizarre, yet he quickly accepted it based on Zhu Xiaonian’s reaction.

It was contradictory.

He still couldn’t explain why, when he thought of Li Shang, he felt concern and even a flicker of tenderness, while the name Rong Qing still stirred that odd dislike. These two emotions intertwined, swirling in his mind and giving him a headache.

If they were two different people, these feelings would be perfectly normal. But when they merged into one in He Lin’s mind, everything seemed messed up.

He wished he had a cigarette right then.

Without one, He Lin drank another cup of sake. The plum wine was sweet, but He Lin detected a bitter undertaste.

He Lin continued trying to find clarity in the mess in his mind: "I don’t know why I forgot about Rong Qing before. He transferred and changed his name—I don’t know if it was the base’s orders or something else. I also don’t know why he never told me he was Rong Qing. I... I ought to know Rong Qing, but if it weren’t for a dream, I’d never have thought they were the same person... They shouldn’t be the same person..."

Zhu Xiaonian had heard enough. He put down his chopsticks, grabbed He Lin by the collar, and slammed him against the wall of the private room.

He Lin’s back hit the wall with a solid thud.

Seeing the other man’s red-rimmed eyes and furious expression, He Lin had no idea what he’d done to provoke him.

Back at the base, the two had sparred often during training, and Zhu Xiaonian couldn’t beat him.

He Lin instinctively wanted to fight back, but he also wanted to know why Zhu Xiaonian was attacking him and where his anger came from.

He hesitated, then simply clamped onto Zhu Xiaonian’s wrist.

Zhu Xiaonian knew that in a real fight, he was outmatched against He Lin, but he still held onto He Lin’s collar with all his strength, his face contorted with rage. "No, He Lin, you know nothing! If Li Shang isn’t Captain Rong, then who should he be? Who else would treat you so well? Do you think you’re some heartthrob? Besides Captain Rong, who else would give so much of themselves for you like this?"

Zhu Xiaonian glared furiously at He Lin, unable to contain his anger. "You have no idea what Captain Rong has been through these past two years! How much he’s done for you, how much he’s suffered—you don’t see it, you don’t know it. So you can hurt him, make harsh judgments about him? Did he not want to be Rong Qing? You’re the reason!"

He Lin was stunned by these words. He opened his mouth but couldn’t say anything.

Even though the other was speaking Chinese and he understood every word, he was totally lost.

What did it mean—that he couldn’t be Rong Qing because of me?

He had been medically discharged due to injury—it was beyond his control. What did that have to do with Li Shang—or rather, Rong Qing?

At this thought, He Lin’s eyes widened suddenly, and a phrase Li Shang had said crossed his mind: He had a lover.

Could that person be me?

If that's how it was... He Lin recalled some of Li Shang's strange reactions in the past, and suddenly everything seemed to make sense. He stared blankly at Zhu Xiaonian, his lips moved but no words came out.

Zhu Xiaonian had been holding back for far too long, and now he completely lost control of his emotions. Without caring whether He Lin could process it all, he grabbed him by the collar and launched into a tirade: "You wanted to know who that critical condition call from the hospital was about, right? Alright, I'll tell you right now—it was Captain Rong! He had a thick tube stabbed right through his chest. He almost died! If he hadn't pulled through, that call would have been the last one of his life. So where the hell were you then? He Lin, tell me, where were you?"

With that final accusation, Zhu Xiaonian shoved He Lin’s shoulder against the wall.

Then he took a step back, muttering despondently, "He was Captain Rong, the legendary Captain Rong... How could you... How dare you?"

Hearing this, He Lin could no longer focus on the pain in his shoulder. His head started ringing, and his mind plunged into chaos.

That call... the one he hadn’t answered back then...

He Lin’s heart skipped a beat as he truly grasped the weight of Zhu Xiaonian’s words: if he hadn’t pulled through... there would be no Rong Qing in this world, and no... Li Shang either.

The sudden revelation. He Lin’s hands fell limp. His mind went numb, his body felt completely drained of energy, as if every drop of blood had been sucked dry.

On instinct, he asked, "What about your mission..."

"Of course we completed it!" Zhu Xiaonian’s emotions were even more intense than his, tears pouring down his face as he babbled incoherently. "He borrowed a cigarette from me to finish commanding. You know how much Captain Rong hates the smell of smoke... The very second he regained consciousness, the first name he called was yours!"

It finally dawned on He Lin why, when the topic came up at the dinner table, Li Shang had kept drinking one glass after another.

He had only seen Li Shang’s rare drunken outburst, complained about him neglecting his health, witnessed his alcohol-triggered injuries, and even felt pleased about growing closer to Li Shang.

But he never knew that behind it all, Li Shang was also carrying the pain and struggle of being Rong Qing.

While He Lin was secretly rejoicing, what was Li Shang—as Rong Qing—thinking?

Seeing He Lin suddenly shell-shocked and desolate, Zhu Xiaonian felt a sense of vindictive satisfaction. For two years, he had kept it all bottled up for the Captain Rong he admired most, holding it in until today. Letting it all out still didn’t feel like enough.

Zhu Xiaonian grabbed a glass from the table and downed a drink, continuing angrily, "What do you even make? Even if the base leadership were your own father, he couldn’t give you that much in subsidies. You used the money he risked his life to save up to buy a big house in Yuncheng, living there completely guilt-free."

He Lin was stunned into silence by these words.

He had wondered why there was such a large sum of money in his account, but when he asked the base, they only gave a vague answer, saying it was his bonuses and compensation...

He Lin looked up and demanded, "Why didn’t you tell me all this earlier?"

Zhu Xiaonian gritted his teeth. "Tell you? How was I supposed to tell you? Captain Rong himself didn’t know how to break it to you—you’d already forgotten him. Captain Rong ordered us to keep quiet, just like how he stopped us from using your nickname back then. But he cherished you—I don’t have to. You know what, He Lin? I want to punch you so bad right now!"

He Lin fought to keep his composure. He lifted his head and looked seriously at Zhu Xiaonian, carefully articulating each word: "So, he and I... we were more than just captain and team member."

Zhu Xiaonian almost laughed bitterly, but seeing the disbelief in He Lin’s eyes, he suppressed his envy and told him, "Captain Rong liked you the most. His apartment was off-limits to everyone but you; he always protected you on missions. Outside of work, you were everything to him. Even the wounds on his body were stitched up by you. What do you think your relationship was? We were all team members, but I’ve never even seen what Captain Rong’s living room looks like."

These words stabbed into He Lin’s mind like a knife. His eyes widened as if he were in a dream, he stood frozen in place, unable to react.

By now, Zhu Xiaonian’s hands were shaking violently, but he stubbornly grabbed He Lin’s collar again, as if hoping the physical contact would make him remember everything.

As if doing so would ensure He Lin would never hurt Rong Qing again.

"Don’t you get it, He Lin? He didn't need to go to Yuncheng!"

He Lin finally found his voice, his voice raspy, "It was... because of me."

Zhu Xiaonian lifted his head and stared straight at him. "Why else? The name Rong Qing had prestige and power at the base—what couldn’t he have? Why would he go to your rundown place to be some unknown police officer? What did he stand to gain? Your measly salary?"

"The base offered him a promotion, but he refused to stay. The base had everything, could give him anything—except you! So Captain Rong gave it all up, even the name Rong Qing. He just wanted to find you, and you didn’t remember him. You remembered everyone else! Me, He Yuan, Old Liu—you remembered all of us, but not him!"

Zhu Xiaonian finally blurted out the words he’d buried deep inside for so long: "He did so much for you, but He Lin, you knew nothing! Why? Just why!"

He Lin stood frozen as if struck by lightning, his mind completely blank.

Was that how it was?

Was this the truth?

But why did he have no memory of any of it before?

Having vented his emotions and finally spoken the words he’d held back for two years, Zhu Xiaonian released his grip and asked softly, "So, He Lin, how could you forget him, just like that?"

He Lin felt as if something inside him had shattered—maybe his heart, shattered beyond repair. But he maintained his composure.

He sat up straight, lowered his head, and straightened the clothes wrinkled by Zhu Xiaonian.

At that moment, He Lin’s body, at least from the outside, appeared intact. His face showed no expression as he sat there, watching Zhu Xiaonian break down in tears.

His mind seemed to shut out all emotion; aside from a heavy, aching pain in his heart, he felt nothing.

The two sat like that for several minutes, until Zhu Xiaonian wiped away his tears.

He Lin drank another glass of wine and casually picked up a cold, fried tempura piece for Zhu Xiaonian.

Still caught up in the earlier intensity, Zhu Xiaonian couldn’t understand how He Lin could be so calm, so unmoved.

Angrily, he pushed the bowl away. "Take it away." After a pause, he added, "I can’t eat right now. And there’s nothing else I want to say."

He Lin checked the time on his phone and said calmly, "Alright, I’ll take it."

True to his word, He Lin didn’t hesitate. He walked to the door, opened it, and called out, "Waiter, bring some takeout boxes."

Under Zhu Xiaonian’s stunned gaze, He Lin methodically packed all the leftovers.

Only after he finished boxing everything did Zhu Xiaonian snap out of it and ask, "He Lin, you... you’re just leaving like this?"

He Lin replied, "What else? I’m here on business—I still have cases to handle."

Zhu Xiaonian pressed further, "What about Captain Rong—I mean, Li Shang... What are you planning to..."

"He’s in Tianning and won’t be back for a while. We’ll talk about the rest later." He Lin said earnestly to Zhu Xiaonian, "Thank you for telling me all this. I’ll head back now. Next time, it’s my treat."

Zhu Xiaonian still couldn’t quite believe it. He followed He Lin out, watching as He Lin walked steadily, head slightly bowed, without a hint of abnormality.

He Lin made it outside and hailed a taxi.

Only after confirming He Lin was in the car did Zhu Xiaonian breathe a sigh of relief. He’d finally said everything he’d held in for two years, but after letting it all out, a trace of unease crept into his heart.

He also felt a bit of regret over his impulsiveness, but then he reassured himself: He Lin’s injuries had long healed, and he’d already remembered that Li Shang was Rong Qing, which meant he was close to the truth.

He’d only shared some things He Lin didn’t know—it should help him recover his memories.

He Lin had been a captain for two years; his temperament had grown steady. He would process all this gradually.

Watching the taxi drive away, Zhu Xiaonian returned to the private room. He looked at the empty plates and muttered under his breath, "That guy didn’t even leave me a single piece of sea urchin."

In Ningcheng, the city lights began to glow, painting the streets with a vibrant, bustling nightlife.

.

He Lin looked somewhat weary. After getting into the taxi, he gave the address of his hotel and then sat quietly in the back seat, not moving a muscle.

Outside the window, the cityscape glided past, the colorful lights like streams of light scattering away and disappearing from view.

He Lin's thoughts, however, were not on the bustling streets at all; it felt as if he were shuttling back and forth through the past two years.

Countless times, He Lin longed to return to the very beginning, to clearly see that past filled with regrets.

But the rain in the depths of his memory was too heavy, like an impenetrable barrier blocking his view, leaving him unable to see anything clearly.

About ten minutes later, the taxi arrived at the hotel entrance. The driver reminded him to pay, and He Lin, as if snapped out of a dream, took out his phone to scan and pay.

He swiped his key card to enter the room, where Fang Jue was already inside, idly watching TV.

As soon as Fang Jue saw He Lin return, he perked up, eagerly saying, "Captain He, good thing you didn’t go. I came back after just a short while—it was nowhere near the 'lake night view' they advertised, just a smelly ditch, all filters and fake advertising. And that so-called local famous snack, some kind of cake or whatever—way too sweet and greasy... Hey, Captain He, what’s that in your hand?"

He Lin hummed in acknowledgment, only then noticing what he was holding.

Fang Jue curiously leaned in, and He Lin tossed it to him: "Packed food, it’s for you."

"Thanks, Captain He! I’m actually still hungry," Fang Jue said with delighted surprise, eagerly unwrapping the box. Seeing it filled with sea urchin, sweet shrimp, salmon, arctic clam, and small lobster, he exclaimed, "Wow, Captain He, where did you go? How’d you get so much delicious food?"

He Lin completely ignored his question, walked straight to the bed, and collapsed onto it: "Didn’t sleep well yesterday, I’m going to rest for a bit."

He hadn’t felt much in the car, but now He Lin started to feel the sake hit him hard—his mind was a total mush.

He couldn’t tell what year or month it was, nor where he was. Maybe it was because he hadn’t eaten dinner and drank a lot on an empty stomach; sharp, cramping pains stabbed his stomach.

He tried to relax himself, attempting to sort out the chaotic thoughts and the disordered, jumbled memories in his mind.

Although his memory hadn’t fully recovered, the things he hadn’t understood before finally had a reasonable explanation now.

He finally understood why Li Shang’s gaze held so many emotions he couldn’t decipher; why even when Li Shang was smiling at him, the sadness in his eyes was plain to see; why Li Shang would get angry and upset when hearing him describe his memories of Rong Qing; even the words Li Shang had once said that he couldn’t quite understand—all of it now had an answer.

They weren’t meeting for the first time; they were reuniting.

Those moments that made him dazedly feel like déjà vu weren’t coincidences—they were real, tangible fragments of their past that had actually happened, but he had forgotten.

He Lin realized that whether as Rong Qing or Li Shang, this person had done far too much for him, and he had, unintentionally, verbally wounded Rong Qing and hurt Li Shang. The weight of this guilt was crushing, pressing down on He Lin’s heart.

Li Shang…

Rong Qing…

These two names swirled endlessly in his mind, finally blending into a single identity.

He Lin’s brow furrowed tightly.

It felt as if his brain was overloaded, overwhelmed with information, on the verge of collapse.

First, there was chaos in his mind, followed by intense pain—as if his head felt split in two, one half left in the past, the other in the present.

The burning pain welling up from his gut felt like it was tearing his body apart.

This was a dual torment of body and mind.

He Lin felt as though his body hadn’t moved, but the bed gave way beneath him, and his body plummeted rapidly as if from a great height. The intense weightlessness caused dizziness, and a hot, metallic-tasting rush surged up his throat.

This had happened before, but never this violently or suddenly, leaving him too sudden to process.

He Lin propped himself up, instinctively trying to get to the bathroom, but as soon as he moved, the room spun violently. He couldn’t even raise a hand before he vomited directly onto the hotel’s white pillow.

It was vivid red blood, smelling of blood and booze, almost gushing from his mouth...