Chapter 4 Formal? Meeting

Chapter 4 A Formal Meeting?

Jian Ru hesitated, his first instinct to refuse. His pride made him want no association with Young Master Li Er, no undeserved advantage. Granny Jin, who had been observing his expression, cut him off before he could speak, quickly persuading him with a few words: “It’ll only take a moment. You saved him; he ought to thank you in person.”

Still hesitant, Jian Ru felt Granny Jin take his hand. “I’ll go with you. Once it’s done, we’ll come straight back. Tomorrow, you can go home as planned.”

The thought of the ten taels of silver—he needed to meet him to get it, after all—finally made Jian Ru nod.

Granny Jin glanced at the sky, estimating the time, and said cheerfully, “Young Master Li Er’s courtyard has its own small kitchen. They should be having dinner about now. You rest first; I’ll go check and come back for you when it’s time.”

Jian Ru agreed, trying to appear normal as he saw Granny Jin out.

Once she was gone, he closed the door and paced the floor.

After a moment’s thought, he hurried out. Not knowing where the main kitchen was, he could only fetch a basin of cold water. He stripped off his clothes and hastily wiped himself down. Even in summer, the cold water left him shivering uncontrollably.

He had no ulterior motives; he simply worried that, after sweating so much from his illness, someone might smell him.

Preoccupied, he finally stopped tormenting his already red and chafed hands, which he had been scrubbing relentlessly for the past two days.

After dressing, he sat on the edge of the bed, fiddling with the torn parts of his clothes. He bit his lip, then stood up and took out the new set of clothes he had stored in the cabinet. He held them for a long while before finally taking off his old clothes and changing into the new ones.

No sooner had he changed than he regretted it and thought about changing back. But before he could, Granny Jin knocked twice on the door and, without waiting for a response, pushed it open with a creak.

As soon as she entered, her eyes lit up. She looked Jian Ru up and down, exclaiming loudly, “Good clothes really make the man! You look so handsome in these!”

Since he was already wearing them and had been seen, Jian Ru decided not to overthink it. He figured he could just deduct the cost from the ten taels of silver and allowed her to look at him openly.

Granny Jin circled him, adjusting the back and front of his clothes, then teased him with a smile, “Before, no matter how much I urged you, you refused to change. Why didn’t you insist on wearing your treasured old clothes this time?”

Jian Ru felt as if the hidden thoughts he wasn’t even fully aware of had been seen through. The composure he had mustered earlier collapsed completely, and he lowered his head in embarrassment, not daring to look at the cheerfully smiling old woman.

The rain began to fall again, pattering softly.

Jian Ru held an umbrella and followed Granny Jin out of the room, one after the other. They crossed the courtyard, entered a corridor, and turned a corner. Only then did Jian Ru realize the estate had hidden depths—beyond the bend was another, more refined small courtyard.

Granny Jin explained, “The room you’re staying in is for guests. This is where the Li family stays when they come. Young Master Li Er has been recuperating here since the start of summer and has been staying for quite some time.”

As they entered the courtyard gate, Jian Ru grew inexplicably nervous and slowed his pace.

Noticing he hadn’t kept up, Granny Jin turned to look at him. Seeing his unease, she stopped and approached him, whispering, “Don't worry. Young Master Li Er is very easy to get along with. Besides, although it’s called a meeting, it’s not really a proper meeting…”

Jian Ru was puzzled. Granny Jin explained, “Young Master Li Er is worried you might feel uncomfortable seeing him and find it hard to talk…” She waved her hand. “You’ll understand once we go in.”

Granny Jin led Jian Ru into the courtyard and to a door. She knocked lightly twice and, without waiting for a response, opened the door and let Jian Ru in.

As Jian Ru stepped inside, he caught a whiff of a pleasant, calming fragrance that inexplicably put his mind at ease.

He closed his umbrella and handed it to Granny Jin, quickly scanning the room. It was far more elegant than the one he was staying in, with beautiful furniture and decorations. Even the carvings on the doors and windows were exquisitely detailed, almost too much to take in.

Granny Jin placed the umbrella by the door, closed it, and gave Jian Ru a little nudge from behind. Only then did he snap out of it. Granny Jin gestured with her chin toward the front, and he noticed a tall, slender figure standing behind a hazy screen.

A soft cough came from behind the screen. As Jian Ru looked over, the person coughed twice more, then bowed slightly and saluted him from behind the screen. Jian Ru quickly bent his knees slightly in return.

Granny Jin spoke up, “Young Master, I’ve brought him here. He’ll be leaving tomorrow morning. If you have anything to say, say it now.”

With that, she motioned for Jian Ru to sit on a nearby stool. She then walked behind the screen, poured a cup of water for the person inside, waited for him to finish drinking, placed the cup back, and poured another cup for Jian Ru. Finally, she sat to the side, picked up a half-embroidered handkerchief from the windowsill, and began sewing while glancing between both sides of the screen.

Jian Ru waited until the figure behind the screen sat down before sitting as well, perching nervously on the edge of the stool without fully settling in.

“I asked Granny Jin to insist on inviting you here. I hope I haven’t been too forward,” Young Master Li Er spoke. His voice had the clarity of a young man but with a slight hoarseness, different from how it sounded that day, yet still somewhat familiar.

Hearing this, Jian Ru awkwardly imitated his polite tone and replied, “Young Master, you’re too… too kind.”

After he finished speaking and showed no intention of saying more, Young Master Li Er continued slowly, “That day by the river, I was so captivated by the rain that I forgot to watch my step and fell into the river. If you hadn’t saved me, I would have lost my life.” Behind the screen, the figure stood up again and bowed deeply toward Jian Ru. “I will never forget your life-saving grace, Brother Jian.”

Jian Ru quickly stood up, not wanting to accept such a grand gesture or hear any more about repaying the debt or marriage. He could no longer maintain his polite facade and blurted out anxiously, “I just happened to be there. I couldn’t just watch you die. Young Master, you don’t need to take it to heart or worry about it. I’ve never eaten or worn such fine things before, so I’ve broadened my horizons. You even paid for my treatment. I’ll go home tomorrow, and we’ll be even!” By now, he had completely forgotten about the few taels of silver.

After he spoke, there was silence from the other side for a while. Granny Jin looked at Jian Ru, sighing inwardly and shaking her head.

Only after speaking did Jian Ru realize his words sounded as though he couldn’t wait to sever ties, which might have come across as unpleasant. He was mortified, biting his lip and feeling too restless to stay seated. He wanted to leave.

But from behind the screen, Young Master Li Er spoke again, asking, “Are you fully recovered? Is the medicine still helping?”

Jian Ru gave a vague “Mmm,” still upset from earlier. Feeling his response was too perfunctory, he added, “I’m completely better now. Thank you for the prescription, Young Master.” After a moment’s thought, he asked, “How are you? I can hear you’re still coughing.”

Young Master Li Er replied, “I’m fine too. This cough is an old ailment I’ve had for years. It always acts up when it’s cold and takes a long time to go away.”

Jian Ru had heard from Granny Jin that when the old mistress gave birth to Young Master Li Er, she was older, and he was born prematurely. He had been frail since childhood, suffering from a congenital weakness. Although his family were all doctors and he himself was skilled in medicine, they hadn’t been able to fully cure him. He had grown up sickly over the years.

Jian Ru thought that although Young Master Li Er lived in luxury and was exceptionally handsome, he might not have lived as freely as himself. Remembering how the young master had looked in the cave that day—his long hair disheveled, his face ashen—he couldn’t help feeling a pang of pity for this stranger he had only met twice, who seemed almost otherworldly.

After these exchanges, the room fell silent again.

Jian Ru felt as though the other had something to say but found it difficult to bring up.

After a long while, just as Jian Ru was wondering if he had overstayed his welcome and should take his leave, the figure behind the screen suddenly spoke.

“Granny Jin said you don’t want to marry me.”

Jian Ru, who had been about to rise from his stool, was caught off guard by this and nearly fell off.

He steadied himself and sat back down properly. “I… I…!” He hadn’t expected Young Master Li Er to be so direct and was momentarily stunned, unsure how to respond.

Just then, another fit of coughing came from behind the screen, this time so severe it didn’t stop immediately.

Granny Jin quickly put down her sewing, stood up, and went to pour water.

Once the coughing subsided, she sat back down, her face full of concern.

Jian Ru had instinctively stood up, almost rushing behind the screen to help. Now, seeing that the young master was alright, he spoke bluntly, “I don’t need you to repay me.”

There was a moment of silence behind the screen. Then Young Master Li Er said quietly, “This body of mine has been a burden to my family for many years.”

Jian Ru didn’t understand why he suddenly brought this up but could only comfort him, “Since they’re family, even if you’re sick, injured, disabled, or bedridden, as long as you’re alive, your family has hope. Life still has meaning.”

By the last sentence, his throat felt tight. These were his true feelings. Countless nights, he had thought that if his parents were still alive, even if they were bedridden and needed his care, he wouldn’t have been so lonely these past years. At least he would still have parents.

Young Master Li Er didn’t know about his family situation but seemed to detect the sorrow in his voice and tentatively asked, “I haven’t seen anyone come looking for you these past few days. Your family elders…?”

Jian Ru replied, “Three years ago, there was a fire at home. My parents died protecting me.”

A deep sigh came from behind the screen.

Seeing this, Granny Jin said, “Fate is predetermined, Brother Jian. Don’t blame yourself.” She then advised the person behind the screen, “Young Master, you’ve just started to recover. Don’t grieve too much.”

Young Master Li Er coughed lightly a few more times and said in a melancholy tone, “So, you don’t want to marry me because you’re afraid my health is poor and I might die early?”

This time, it was Jian Ru’s turn to cough.

He stopped coughing awkwardly, recalling the moment in the cave when they held each other. Though he had been warming the other person, in truth, after Young Master Li Er recovered, wasn’t he also warming Jian Ru in return?

Many who fall into water don’t die from drowning but rather from the cold after falling into water. That day, he seemed fine on the surface, but it was only thanks to his own sturdy constitution. That he survived was also thanks to Young Master Li Er.

He was never one to overthink things, and now he could no longer hold back his thoughts. Unwilling to let Young Master Li Er misunderstand, he decided to lay everything out.

But then... Jian Ru glanced at Granny Jin sitting nearby. Noticing his look, she patted her knees and said, "Alright then, this old lady will go out and do some work. Young Master Li Er, you two carry on."

The person behind the screen responded, and the old lady quickly picked up an umbrella and went out, closing the door tightly behind her.

Now only the two of them remained in the room, separated by the screen. In the silence, the faint scent of incense rose, swirling upward.

"With Granny Jin here earlier, I was too embarrassed to say this," Jian Ru began. "It’s not that I dislike you," he gritted his teeth, "I... I’m ashamed of myself."

"Why?" Young Master Li Er asked softly.

Since he had already started, the rest wasn’t so hard to say. Jian Ru said bluntly, "You must have seen that day—half of my face is covered in burn scars. People often say behind my back that I’m as ugly as a ghost. My family is poor too; even if we scraped together everything we have, it would only amount to a dozen strings of copper coins."

He looked up at the calligraphy and paintings hanging on the wall. "I don’t know many characters, can’t read books, and can’t appreciate art. I do rough labor all day, my hands and feet are coarse—not like those girls and young men who dress up fragrant and beautiful every day."

"I’m an orphan. After my parents passed, my relatives aren’t well-off either. They’re afraid I’ll be a burden, so we rarely meet. Besides relying on myself, I have no other support."

He paused, then remembered another point. "I... I have a bad temper too. I speak bluntly and often offend people."

Having poured out everything he had kept bottled up, Jian Ru felt much lighter. He thought to himself that he and Young Master Li Er were simply not from the same world.

Their brief intersection was just an accident. In the future, they would go their separate ways—Young Master Li Er would remain Young Master Li Er, and he would go back to the village to farm and support himself. When he grew old and could no longer work, he would spend what little money he had, find a spot he liked in the mountains, dig a grave, and wait to die.

Even if he wanted to die, he would definitely not drown himself—it’s too painful. He never wanted to experience that again.

Thinking this, Jian Ru felt he was living with freedom and resilience, but as he spoke, he couldn’t help choking up slightly, forcing back tears.

"I... have very few good days throughout the year."

A voice, clear but slightly raspy, suddenly spoke, its tone slow and measured.

Jian Ru was taken aback and looked toward the figure behind the screen. The person seemed to be tilting their head, listening to the rain outside the window.

"All these years, I’ve been confined to my sickbed. Though I’ve learned much about medicine, I rarely have the chance to heal and help others like my elder brothers and sisters often do. I’ve wasted these years by illness, with nothing to show for it."

Jian Ru opened his mouth, finally understanding that Young Master Li Er was following his example and listing his own shortcomings.

"My family always has to take care of me and comfort me. I’ve been a burden to them for years. Though they’ve never once complained of weariness or impatience, I can’t help feeling helpless and uneasy. I don’t want to trouble others to care for me, nor do I want them to worry about me. But they are my closest family—I can’t say these things to them. If I did, they would be hurt."

"Mother, my brothers, and sisters all say I’ll live a long life, but I know myself. Even with careful nurturing, I might live long, but if one day I’m careless—maybe just caught in a draft that leads to a cold—it could very well take my life."

"I... don’t know how long I have left to live," Young Master Li Er said.

For some reason, Jian Ru couldn’t bear to hear this person speak of a short life, afraid that saying it might make it come true.

He stood up urgently and said, "Your family is wealthy, and you have relatives. They care for you willingly—don’t overthink it. You’ll definitely live a long life! And..." He took a few steps forward, closer to the screen. "You’re also... so... so handsome! Surely there are girls or young men worthy of you who’d be willing to marry you!"

Hearing this, Young Master Li Er didn’t respond immediately. After a moment of silence, he slowly said, "But..."

Jian Ru asked anxiously, "What?"

Young Master Li Er spoke even more slowly, "That day, when I woke up, I found you warming me."

Jian Ru’s face flushed hotly. He never expected the other to bring this up suddenly.

As for how exactly that "warming" was done—Young Master Li Er had even spoken of it to his mother. Of course, they both knew full well.

"Later, my family came with people to find us..." Young Master Li Er continued leisurely.

Jian Ru froze, suddenly realizing he’d forgotten one thing: that day, both of them had been undressed in the cave. If those people had come, wouldn’t they have witnessed the scene?

Being seen by Young Master Li Er was one thing, but being seen by a crowd—Jian Ru’s face turned pale, and he felt he could no longer go on living.

Sensing his distress, Young Master Li Er quickly explained, "Don’t worry. That day, when I heard noises, I yelled for them not to come in. The curtain blocking the cave entrance held firm."

Hearing this, Jian Ru breathed a sigh of relief.

"But," Young Master Li Er continued, "I saw you... and touched you."

With a thud, Jian Ru knocked over the round stool behind him. In a fluster, he quickly set it upright. As he did, he noticed his hands trembling where they gripped the stool legs.

"I didn’t mean to offend you," Young Master Li Er said from behind the screen, standing up and slowly taking a step closer. "There were only men outside the cave. I had to... dress you properly before carrying you out. While dressing you, I couldn’t avoid it..."

So that was what he meant by "touched." Jian Ru’s face burned even hotter. He lowered his head, not even daring to lift his eyes.

"After all this... how could you marry someone else? If your future husband were to find out, I’m afraid he’d come settling scores with me. With my health, I likely couldn’t fight him off and would be beaten to death," Young Master Li Er added.

Jian Ru felt like he was boiling over.

He wanted to say he didn’t need to find a husband or get married.

But Young Master Li Er seemed determined to persuade him.

His tone grew even gentler, almost tender. In that clear, slightly raspy voice, he said softly, "If you don’t dislike me for my poor health, then let’s live together. I may not be of much use and might only be a burden to you, but at the very least, when you return home, there will be someone to talk to you."

These last words struck right at Jian Ru’s deepest sorrow. Tears streamed down his face, and he could no longer bring himself to refuse.