Chapter 15 Anger

Chapter 15: Anger

He wasn't particularly afraid of death, nor did he possess much fervor for living...

When Kahn awoke again, the morning light was faint. His blue eyes, hazy with moisture, rubbed away the sleep. Not seeing Bai Suizhi, his heart instantly skipped a beat. Without hesitation, he pushed the car door open. Before he could even take in his surroundings, Bai Suizhi approached, carrying an armful of items. Kahn pressed his lips together and asked, "Where did you go?"

Bai Suizhi shook the items in his hands, gesturing for Kahn to look at the assortment of knives and tools. "Grabbed them from the convenience store," he explained. "There's a bathroom inside where you can wash up. I'll wait outside, and then we can eat something."

Only then did Kahn notice they were at a gas station. Being relatively remote, there weren't many zombies around, save for two freshly killed corpses by the convenience store entrance, their blood not yet dried.

Kahn stared silently at the dead bodies on the ground. While he was asleep, Bai Suizhi had quietly cleared out all potential threats in the convenience store alone. Normally, the slightest sound would startle Kahn awake, yet this time, he hadn't even noticed Bai Suizhi getting out of the car and dispatching two zombies.

"Why didn't you wake me?"

"You were sleeping, and it was only two zombies," Bai Suizhi replied, following Kahn's gaze. Kahn always looked him in the eyes when speaking, except when shy. But this time, he wasn't looking at him at all. Bai Suizhi belatedly realized that Kahn seemed angry.

"Only two zombies? Did you know beforehand that there were only two? What if there were more inside?" Kahn's emotions surged more intensely than Bai Suizhi had ever witnessed. He was terrified, unable to imagine what he would do if something happened to Bai Suizhi.

Bai Suizhi felt a bit wronged. He had observed for a long time, making sure he could handle it alone before acting. Besides, he had been busy all morning just to let Kahn rest a little longer. He hadn’t expected Kahn to not only be ungrateful but also scold him.

Seeing Bai Suizhi fall silent, Kahn felt a pang of panic, but his attitude didn't soften in the slightest. In his view, Bai Suizhi's actions showed a disregard for his own life, so he had no intention of easing the tension. He just walked silently toward the convenience store.

Bai Suizhi paused for a moment, placed the items in his hands into the car, then followed Kahn and stood quietly outside the bathroom door.

Soon, Kahn emerged, having changed into a clean T-shirt, his damp hair swept to one side. Bai Suizhi opened his mouth to say something but ultimately didn’t utter a word.

Kahn said softly, "You go wash up. I'll wait outside for you."

Bai Suizhi couldn’t stand Kahn’s cold attitude. Frustrated, he grabbed his clothes and went inside. As he showered, he wondered what Kahn was so angry about—was it really just because he hadn’t woken him?

After both had washed up, they grabbed some rice balls from the convenience store for breakfast. Sitting a careful distance apart, they finished eating. Bai Suizhi then said, "Let’s load some supplies into the car." They had left in a hurry, bringing only the essentials. Now that they were at a convenience store, restocking was their top priority.

"Mm."

They loaded water, bread, gasoline, and other miscellaneous items, filling every available space in the car.

Throughout the process, they didn’t exchange a single word, yet they didn’t duplicate any items, as if they already knew what the other would take.

After loading the supplies, they wandered aimlessly around the convenience store area, avoiding eye contact but clearly keeping their attention on each other.

Bai Suizhi eventually sat on the hood of the car, idly playing with a lighter he’d taken from the store while secretly glancing at Kahn’s half-dry long hair. He wondered if Kahn, with no one to tie his hair now, would find it bothersome and simply cut it off.

On the other side, Kahn was also listening for any movement from Bai Suizhi’s direction, occasionally kicking the corner of the wall with a frequency matching Bai Suizhi’s lighter flicks. He felt irritable, hating the current stalemate. They were so close, yet neither took the initiative to bridge the gap.

After a while, Kahn seemed to steel himself. He stopped, turned, and decided to go talk to Bai Suizhi. At that very moment, Bai Suizhi also got down from the car. They locked eyes, both slightly surprised.

After a moment, Bai Suizhi spoke first: "Come here. I'll tie your hair."

Kahn murmured, "Okay," then walked briskly toward Bai Suizhi.

Kahn stopped in front of Bai Suizhi and looked up directly at him. His silver-white hair made his face appear even smaller. Bai Suizhi placed his hands on Kahn’s shoulders and turned him around. "How can I tie it if you keep looking at me like that?"

Kahn didn’t respond. Bai Suizhi gently gathered his hair, meticulously smoothing every strand before deftly braiding it into a simple yet neat plait.

Kahn noticed Bai Suizhi wasn’t using the hair tie made from his old shirt. "Why aren’t you using the old hair tie?" he asked.

Bai Suizhi tugged skillfully at the strands to make the braid fuller. "I found a few hair ties in the staff room just now. Proper ones work better—they hold more securely."

Satisfied with his work, Bai Suizhi turned Kahn back around and said proudly, "Looks really good."

Kahn touched the braid. "Can we use the old hair tie?"

Bai Suizhi thought for a moment. "Let’s use this one—it holds better. If you like the old one, I can tie it onto the braid, okay?" As a qualified stylist, he very much respected his client’s preferences.

Kahn nodded. Bai Suizhi took out the light blue shirt hair tie and tied it into a bow on Kahn’s braid, using the same method as tying shoelaces.

Then, with a smile, he asked, "Satisfied now?"

Kahn didn’t really care how Bai Suizhi tied it, but he still answered earnestly, "Mm."

The tension between them eased slightly, but the core issue remained unaddressed. Seizing the moment, Bai Suizhi put an arm around Kahn’s shoulder and asked cautiously, "Why were you angry earlier?"

Seeing that Bai Suizhi still didn’t understand, Kahn was speechless. He couldn’t comprehend why someone usually so sharp was so dense about this. He decided to lay out all his thoughts: "I’m angry because you disregard your own safety. Whenever there’s danger, you always charge ahead alone. It’d be safer if we faced things together, so why do you always rush off by yourself?"

Kahn had noticed something about Bai Suizhi: he wasn’t very afraid of death, nor did he seem particularly eager to live. It was as if living was fine, but dying wouldn’t be a big deal either.

After hearing Kahn’s words, Bai Suizhi’s mind went blank. On the surface, Kahn’s words sounded like praise for his selflessness, but Bai Suizhi understood the deeper meaning behind them.

It was true—Bai Suizhi always put himself in the most dangerous position because he didn’t care. If he died from bad luck, so be it. No one would miss him anyway. His attachments were few, so few that he could act recklessly in this dangerous world.

Now, someone was telling him, "We’re safer together. You don’t have to charge ahead alone." Bai Suizhi couldn’t describe the shock he felt hearing those words. Moreover, Kahn had been proving this with his actions all along.

Bai Suizhi was used to being alone. Suddenly, someone had barged into his life, leaving him flustered, confused, and unable to believe it.

Bai Suizhi didn’t know what to say. Seeing his reaction, Kahn knew he had gotten through to him. He decided to give Bai Suizhi some space to process things.

As Kahn turned to leave, Bai Suizhi instinctively grabbed his hand. "Where are you going?" he asked.

Kahn was startled. One moment Bai Suizhi seemed frozen, the next he suddenly grabbed his hand—who wouldn’t be scared? Kahn certainly was, enough to make him shudder.

Bai Suizhi held his hand, waiting for an answer, still seeming dazed. Kahn looked at him for a moment, then simply hugged him. He judged that the other needed an embrace right now.

Bai Suizhi paused, then wrapped his arms around Kahn’s waist, burying his face in the warm crook of his neck like a weary bird finding its nest.

Kahn gently patted his broad back. He didn’t know what Bai Suizhi was thinking, only that *his puppy* needed comfort. So, Kahn dutifully soothed the man in his arms, unconsciously releasing pheromones from the back of his neck.

An Omega’s pheromones can calm a mentally unstable Alpha, but Bai Suizhi wasn’t an Alpha. Clearly, Kahn had forgotten this. Moreover, due to a congenital defect, his glands produced pitifully few pheromones. Even if he released all of them, it wouldn’t affect a normal Alpha.

This very reason was why a researcher studying Omega pheromone thresholds had discovered him and bought him for the lab. He’d been confined to a blindingly white room, subjected to experiments every day.

The experiments were so painful that Kahn sometimes lost control and injured the lab staff. Then, they would beat him with whips or other objects in private, as long as it didn’t damage his glands and affect the experiments.

And now, these glands—which had refused to yield even a drop of pheromone under countless drugs—were generously releasing a continuous stream of calming pheromones aimed at a human who couldn’t perceive them at all.

Kahn grew dizzy from releasing too many pheromones. He endured for a while, but his body swayed uncontrollably. Bai Suizhi immediately noticed, his arm around Kahn’s waist tightening instantly, pulling their bodies flush against each other.

Kahn’s breathing quickened. A film of moisture covered his sapphire-blue eyes. He pushed weakly at Bai Suizhi. "Let... let me go..."

Hearing the strangeness in Kahn’s voice, Bai Suizhi released him and saw his face was unnaturally flushed, his eyes dazed and even teary, his lips bright red. Bai Suizhi touched his forehead—it was burning hot.

"You have a fever. Are you feeling unwell?"

"I’m... fine... I’ll lie down for a bit and be okay..." With that, Kahn tried to walk away.

But after just one step, his legs gave way, and he nearly fell forward. Luckily, Bai Suizhi was quick to catch him from behind, then simply scooped him up into a bridal carry.

"How did you get a fever out of nowhere?" Bai Suizhi carried Kahn to the bed in the convenience store’s staff room, then wet a towel in the outside bathroom and placed it on his forehead. He also fetched some fever medication from the car.

He tried to put the pill in Kahn’s mouth, but the delirious man frowned and spat it out, mumbling, "No... don’t want medicine..."

Bai Suizhi sighed helplessly. "Getting fussy even now." He crushed the pill into powder, mixed it with water, and made him drink it. Although most of it was spat out, at least some went down.

Bai Suizhi carefully wiped the water that had spilled on Kahn, then sat beside him, watching the youth who had fallen into a deep sleep. Kahn’s physical condition was a mystery to him. On one hand, he could take on four or five zombies alone. On the other, he got a fever just from standing outside for a while.

As he pondered, Bai Suizhi’s gaze settled on Kahn’s face. Unlike their first meeting, Kahn’s wounds had mostly healed, and he had gained a little weight. His cheeks, pressed against the pillow, showed a soft fullness, like a peach that made one want to poke it to see if juice would come out.