Chapter 70 Clarity: “Seems you still need discipline.”

Chapter 70: Qingming: "It seems you still need training."

In April, during the Qingming Festival, people remember their ancestors and conduct grave-sweeping as per custom.

Rain falls frequently, drizzling to soak the winter-frozen soil. As the cold wind passes, banana leaves rustle, and mist droplets fall like rain. Pedestrians hurry by with mournful expressions, shrouded in a light veil of misty sorrow.

Xie family members scattered across the land return to the ancestral home to pay respects to their forebears, sweep tombs, and add fresh soil to the graves.

Among the younger generation, Xie Tanwei holds the highest official position, cultivates the highest virtue, and enjoys a renowned reputation across the realm. He is indisputably the leading figure, leading the younger members in the ancestral rites as the new clan head.

Xian Qiu, as the Matriarch of the clan, shoulders heavy responsibilities by Xie Tanwei's side, greeting relatives with a dignified and virtuous demeanor as she presides over the proceedings. The couple is gentle and filial, earning praise from all as a perfect pair.

Many Xie family members live far away year-round and have never met the eldest brother and his wife. Xie Tanwei stands beside Xian Qiu with an expression of just the right tenderness, so gentle it could drip with sweetness, presenting himself impeccably as a model husband. The hall is lively, with all eyes fixed on the Xie couple.

Tian Qin dislikes crowds and such gatherings. As usual, she shrinks behind a potted plant in a shadowy corner—this is her habit at every feast. Unless someone knows her well, they wouldn't even notice the existence of this figure, something between a concubine and a little sister, taken in by the Xie couple.

The ancestral home is not like the Garden Estate; it's usually uninhabited, and Tian Qin has nowhere to hide herself. Only when evening comes, and Xian Qiu arranges lodging for the guests, does she get a corner to curl up in.

Tian Qin is an outsider, detached from both hosts and guests. She is quiet, solitary, even numb, and utterly superfluous—like a withered cypress vine in a dark corner.

Occasionally, someone notices her and, while marveling at her sweet beauty, also feels there's something wrong with her. Remarks like "That little sister from the Yu family, adopted by Lord Xie, she's not quite right in the head, always clamoring to run away" circulate.

Tian Qin doesn't care. It's fine to hide in the shadows. Being ignored is better than being violated, tied up, locked in a cellar, or forced to undergo training in unspeakable acts.

The maid Zi Wan searches for a long time before finding her. "There you are, Miss Tian! Several young ladies of the clan are flying kites in the back garden. They're about your age, Miss Tian should come and have some fun too."

It's probably Xian Qiu who, seeing her hiding in a corner so unbecomingly, sent Zi Wan to find her something to do.

Tian Qin has no interest at all, but Zi Wan half-drags her to the back garden. There, she sees three or four young ladies in fluttering feathered garments, lively and bright—some older than Tian Qin, some younger, all Xie clan girls of the younger generation.

When they see Tian Qin, they exchange awkward glances, and the atmosphere is a bit awkward. Tian Qin doesn't know how to blend in. They are the same age, seventeen or eighteen, but they have noble status, a bright future, proper, favorable marriages, and the blessings of the Xie ancestors. In contrast, Tian Qin feels like an invisible weed in a dark crack, unworthy even of breathing in the sunlight.

Zi Wan introduces her: "Young ladies, this is Miss Tian, the Clan Lord's precious pearl."

Hearing she is Xie Tanwei's precious pearl, the Xie girls' attitudes shift instantly. They take the initiative to include her.

Colorful swallow-shaped kites soar high in the sky. The girls chase and shout, the soft grassy ground forgiving even if they fall and roll. Tian Qin is shy at first, but soon she's chasing the kites, sweating heavily, gradually losing herself in the fun.

At the height of their play, the girls start boasting about their marriage prospects. They are all betrothed, and the families they'll marry into are each more prestigious than the last—high-ranking ministers, clan heads. The future of the Xie girls is far beyond what someone like Su Tiaotiao could ever hope for.

When they ask about Tian Qin's marriage, she stammers, unable to bring herself to speak.

The Xie girls think it's out of shyness and tease her a bit, but don't press further. After all, the clan head and his wife's precious pearl—how could her marriage be anything less than excellent?

They hear that Tian Qin was once betrothed to a poor scholar named Xu, a man not only poor but of bad character, who cheated in the imperial examinations. The young noble ladies cover their mouths and laugh, utterly scornful.

Tian Qin doesn't want to talk about marriage. She urges the girls to pick up their kites again, and soon they're flying high in the sky once more.

The sky is like a piece of pure jade, blue and clear, cradling the spring air. The orange-yellow sunlight gilds the hems of the girls' skirts. Spring is endless, the canopy of overlapping leaves warm but not scorching.

Tian Qin holds the spool, completely captivated, her skirt fluttering like a blooming white lotus. Suddenly, she collides with a cool, crisp embrace. Looking up, she sees Xie Tanwei.

Bathed in the dazzling sunlight, he is handsome and upright, warm and clear, his plain mourning clothes like a light ink wash painting. Willow twigs are tucked at his waist, white hemp wound around his arms, carrying the lingering chill of spring. He has just returned from the Xie ancestral graves.

"So careless."

Tian Qin's shoulders are pressed down; she is pinned in place.

The Xie girls behind her catch up, calling out in surprise, "Seventh Brother—"

The Xie family is a large, sprawling clan, and Xie Tanwei is the seventh among them.

Xie Tanwei casually wraps an arm around Tian Qin's waist. Though they are all sisters, Tian Qin is the one he raised, so she is special. His expression doesn't change; he acts naturally, telling the other Xie girls, "You young ladies go play on your own. Watch your step, don't trip or fall."

This gesture, so exclusive to Tian Qin, is strikingly protective and full of favoritism, stirring envy in the other girls that Tian Qin should enjoy such favor from the clan head.

Xie Tanwei takes only Tian Qin's hand, leaving the kite and line on the grass.

"Brother-in-law, let me go."

The joy of playing dissipates instantly from Tian Qin, replaced by cold fear. Her five fingers are squeezed together, crushed together in his grip. She is afraid he'll be angry. "I didn't go anywhere. Zi Wan called me to come fly kites with them."

Xie Tanwei is indeed not angry, but inexplicably displeased. When she plays with others, her expression is bright, lively like a blooming flower, genuine and passionate—so different from the lifeless way she is with him.

A feeling he himself is unaware of begins to grow silently.

"Are you having that much fun with them?"

Tian Qin finds it hard to answer.

Xie Tanwei presses her against the wall, surrounded by dappled shadows of flowers. Up close, he looks at her flushed face from running, and he uses his knee to part her legs. "Answer me. Is it better than being with me?"

Tian Qin is intimidated by this dangerous posture, stammering, "No…"

"Then what is it?"

He gazes at her directly, forcing an answer.

"Being with my brother-in-law… is better." She forces the words out through clenched teeth, each one crushed, speaking these insincere words.

"Then why won't you smile at me, but smile at them?"

Xie Tanwei gently wraps an arm around her waist and shoulders, a soft, lingering affection that feels like a deadly weapon, sighing in a sickly manner as he pinches her lower lip. "I want my sister to make a distinction—smile only at me, be kind only to me, and be cold to everyone else."

Tian Qin thinks he is unreasonable. She pouts in irritation, her face darkening.

Xie Tanwei pinches her chin, half mocking, half sneering: "It seems you still need training."

With that, he begins to reach into her clothes.

Tian Qin panics instantly, clutching her collar tightly, her tired but clear eyes wide, accusing him sternly: "Brother-in-law, you can't do this! Do you have any shred of morality left?"

Xie Tanwei's hand is trapped in her grip at her collar, stuck awkwardly, unwilling to stay still. "Are you only just meeting me today?"

"I am your sister, your wife's sister," she emphasizes their relationship, trying to restrain him with a sense of morality. "Brother-in-law, you are known as a saint across the world. Don't you want to protect your reputation? There are people all around. If I shout, you'll be ruined."

Xie Tanwei, on the contrary, is stirred by her. "Oh, threatening me again."

"No, I'm not."

Tian Qin weighs her words, not daring to threaten. She lowers her voice, "I'm just thinking about my brother-in-law's welfare."

After the Yu family fell, he took full control of her: her life, her fate, her freedom. He is her master, binding her with chains upon chains. In this cage, she can't cry out to heaven or call upon the earth, only maneuver, compromise, flatter, and beg, never resist.

Xie Tanwei responds casually, "Don't let me see you smile at others again."

Tian Qin can't figure out his obsession with her smile. She is angry and bewildered. His possessiveness has reached pathological proportions.

Xie Tanwei himself doesn't know why he gives such an order. He just finds it jarring when she smiles at others. She is his, so those bright, sunny smiles should naturally float into his eyes.

He patted her cheek as a warning.

Tian Qin looked at the broken kite in the distance, feeling utterly despondent.

...

After paying respects at the ancestral hall, the sky had turned dark. Xian Qiu arranged lodging for the clan members in the old Xie residence, allocating rooms by seniority and status, for men, women, old, and young, properly and considerately.

Xian Qiu was naturally frail, but as the Clan Matriarch, she had to put on a brave face and was exhausted after a long day. She returned to her room very late, removed her hairpins and ceremonial robe, and Zi Wan brought hot water for her to soak her feet.

Xie Tanwei lifted the curtain and entered. Xian Qiu quickly covered her feet, afraid of appearing undignified.

"You've worked hard, my lady."

Seeing this, he remarked.

Xian Qiu's heart instantly warmed, all fatigue melting away. Embarrassed, she said, "You flatter me, husband. It's my duty—how could it be called hard work?"

Xie Tanwei had come in only to retrieve a book he had left behind, and was about to leave. Xian Qiu quickly dried her feet, slipped on her shoes, and embraced him from behind: "Husband, won't you stay tonight?"

Afraid he might refuse, she forced a smile and added, "...A few things happened during the ancestor worship that I'd like to discuss with you."

Xie Tanwei pondered for a moment, then nodded in agreement. Gratified, Xian Qiu hurried to help him change and wash, but he stopped her: "Rest, my lady. I can manage on my own."

He sent Zi Wan to tell Tian Qin he wasn't coming tonight. At his waist hung the half-moon jade bi that Tian Qin had given him some days ago—its quality was poor, clashing with his noble bearing.

Xian Qiu's smile froze, a mix of emotions swirling within her.

The stars dotted the sky, and the candlelight in the room was dim and sleepy, adding to the thick, hazy intimate atmosphere.

Xian Qiu treasured every chance to share a bed with Xie Tanwei. They had once been a loving couple, but ever since her illness was revealed, they had been sleeping apart. After years of marriage, they had still not consummated the marriage—how ironic fate can be, something outsiders would find hard to believe.

Tired from the day's work, and with the spring purification ceremony early tomorrow, they went to bed early after washing. To accommodate her habit of sleeping in total darkness, Xie Tanwei didn't light a lamp to read; he lay down with her, always a fist-width apart.

Xian Qiu chatted about the trivial matters that had occurred during the day's ancestor worship. Xie Tanwei occasionally acknowledged her, but without much enthusiasm. Xian Qiu hoped he would cross the boundary and embrace her, warming the spring night, but what came instead was the steady sound of his breathing. He was nearly asleep.

Unable to wait any longer, Xian Qiu moved her body, nestling into his arm. In the darkness, Xie Tanwei seemed to smile faintly, patted her back gently, and politely declined: "It's late. Get some rest."

With that, he removed her arm and turned over.

He seemed like a completely cold and ascetic man.

Xian Qiu was stunned, knowing full well that he was not like this with Tian Qin. At night, he would call for water again and again, not stopping even when Tian Qin cried and protested, and from her courtyard, it could be heard far away.

It was simply that he was cold to her.