Chapter 72 Spring Rites: “At least stay where I can see you.”

Chapter 72 Spring Purification Festival: "At least stand where I can see you."

Tian Qin looked at herself in the bronze mirror, very much like a caged canary in a wealthy home—a concubine wrapped in luxurious, cold pearls and jade, yet utterly without freedom. Ultimately, she was reliving the mistakes from her past life, becoming the person she despised most.

This dress, seemingly exquisite but actually binding, imprisoned her spirit, constantly reminding her to be submissive, that she was "claimed," that she should not even look at others.

Tian Qin suddenly recalled Xian Qiu's grand wedding in her past life.

At that time, the Yu family was still staying as guests elsewhere, and the legitimate second daughter was marrying into the Xie family—a grand procession with dowry stretching ten miles.

The sky was overcast. Xie Tanwei, dressed in the groom's wedding attire, came by boat to welcome the bride. There were thirty-three painted boats in total, filling the river, grand and magnificent, as if the river had turned red.

Xian Qiu wore a phoenix coronet and a red veil, stunningly beautiful. Together they held a red silk ribbon, flowers paved the way, the groom elegant and refined, the bride affectionate and tender.

Tian Qin squeezed through the crowd with her sisters, including Kuju, scrambling for wedding candies. It was her first time seeing her brother-in-law, who seemed like a divine being, and she was in awe, filled with envy for her second sister who had married such a perfect husband.

However, soon Xian Qiu's deception about the marriage was exposed: she was physically unable to consummate the marriage (a 'stone maiden'). To maintain her status as the matriarch of the Xie clan, she found a concubine to bear him children.

At that time, Tian Qin was also betrothed. She went to the Xie residence to visit and drank a cup of wine, only to inexplicably end up in her brother-in-law's bed. Eventually, she gave birth to a boy and a girl, one after another, and died miserably in the cold, hungry winter.

The past was too painful to recall.

Over the years, Xie Tanwei never held Xian Qiu's deception against her. As a Confucian scholar, he was benevolent, noble, and broad-minded.

Xian Qiu, young and fond of beauty, often wore bold, fashionable makeup and unconventional dresses, and Xie Tanwei never said a word. Occasionally, she stayed overnight at a friend's house, and Xie Tanwei allowed it.

But with Tian Qin, he seemed to have changed into a different person, applying a different set of standards, strictly controlling every detail, even trivial matters.

She was only a sister-in-law by marriage, with no blood relation, yet he imposed his most pathological possessiveness on her. He poured the most restrictive love gu into her, sent people to watch her every move day and night, imprisoned her in the garden he personally built, forbade her from showing any brilliance, and even controlled her very soul, keeping her like a small creature within the boundaries he set, accepting his gifts and maintaining the appearance he wanted.

Because she was someone he had raised himself?

Su Tiaotiao said she didn't realize how lucky she was—that these days, having someone to look after her was better than having no one.

Tian Qin curled her fingers, digging her nails into her palm until she nearly drew blood. Whether she was truly fortunate or not, she didn't know. She only knew that for two lifetimes, she had lived in the shadow of others. This cage, built with power and selfish desire, was as solid as iron.

At the shore of the lake where the Spring Purification Festival was held, clusters of aristocrats gathered, feasting and jesting with harmonious voices.

Tian Qin followed behind the Xie couple. According to ancient rites, she bathed in the clear river water, washing away the bad luck and misfortune of the past year. Chrysanthemums and willow branches adorned her hair, and she bowed to Confucius, feasted and composed poems, and made friends—all elegant pursuits.

When the Yu family was once prosperous, though they also tried to imitate such elegance, they lacked the ability to perform the ancient rites with such flair. After all, the Xie family had a century of heritage, a family of scholars, a family of grand feasts and refined living, beyond the reach of others.

Tian Qin was neither a sister nor a concubine, and at this strictly ceremonial Spring Purification Festival with its ancient music, it was hard to find her place. The winding water, elegant pavilion, and people playing the zither while washing formed a meticulous ancient painting, and Tian Qin was like a ghost that had wandered into it.

Xie Tanwei was exchanging pleasantries, working the crowd. Whether with strangers or old friends, he was smooth, making everyone laugh while carefully revealing nothing of himself. He held a celadon bamboo cup, his gesture graceful and refined—a perfect model of self-cultivation.

Xian Qiu held his arm. The couple both wore proper smiles, appearing noble yet approachable. Occasionally, Xie Tanwei would lean in and whisper something to Xian Qiu, who would blush and laugh, her neck turning red.

In Xian Qiu's hair was the purple gold step-yao that Xie Tanwei had bought her at the Curio Pavilion. It sparkled in the sunlight, especially eye-catching, a clear proof of being deeply loved by her husband.

As the couple's unwanted burden, Tian Qin gradually fell behind. The aristocrats cast strange glances at her, whispering among themselves. They knew full well the dirty secrets of great families.

The noisy voices pierced her ears like blades. Tian Qin felt a pang of shame. As the illegitimate daughter of a disgraced official, she shouldn't have been present at such a refined occasion.

Where were her nanny Chen, Zhaolu, and Wan Cui? Not one of them was there—no one to protect her.

Just then, Xie Tanwei's voice, bearing the scent of cold mountain moonlight, came from afar: "Tian'er, come here."

He was about four or five steps away.

The atmosphere froze for a moment. This wasn't the first time he had publicly rescued her like this. Tian Qin understood the signal. Under the crowd's watchful eyes, she quickly walked toward Xie Tanwei and stood in his shadow, whispering, "Brother-in-law."

Xie Tanwei brushed a strand of hair from her face, his fingertips hovering just before touching her skin—a suggestive yet ambiguous gesture that didn't actually cross the moral boundary between brother-in-law and sister-in-law.

"Don't wander off," he instructed.

His intervention carried unchallengeable authority, like a wall blocking the probing eyes of others.

Tian Qin lowered her head deeply according to his gesture, a well-behaved canary willing to hide in his shadow.

The crowd immediately put on friendly faces. Some noble ladies even showed envy. Their gaze toward Tian Qin was no longer contemptuous but like looking at a beautiful bird with golden feathers—beautiful, yet stripped of its soul.

Tian Qin was inches away from Xie Tanwei. The love gu pulsed with a numbing sensation. Those who pointed fingers at her didn't understand at all—the reason he kept her wasn't care, but the unbreakable hold of the love gu.

For the rest of the time, wherever Xie Tanwei and Xian Qiu went, Tian Qin followed like a marionette. She was the most clingy shadow, also the most favored sister. With the couple leading the way, Tian Qin fared much better at the banquet.

Xie Tanwei would drink in place of both her and her sister, give her fruit drinks at the perfect temperature, block those piercing looks, and even remember her preferences for sweet or savory foods. But when outsiders tried to arrange a marriage for Tian Qin, he refused without the slightest hesitation.

To his close friends, he generously introduced her as "sister." Those who understood immediately got the hint—a sister kept close to him was also a mistress in bed, a plaything he had grown tired of but not yet taken as a concubine. Many young men from wealthy families smiled knowingly.

His close friends, in a teasing mood, struck up a conversation with Tian Qin.

"Is this Sister Tian? Finally we get to see you in person today."

"We've long heard of Sister Tian's fame. So favored, she goes everywhere with you—truly the second young lady of the Xie family."

Tian Qin felt a lump in her throat.

Xie Tanwei had already pulled her into his embrace, an arm around her shoulder, the intimacy crossing a boundary. His tone was casual and relaxed, his laugh blending well with the surrounding cheerfulness: "She's young and shy. Don't bully her."

His attitude was vague, ambiguous yet aloof, subtly claiming ownership without giving a definite status—a murky, gray area that left people guessing.

"So young!" The close friends looked her up and down, their smiles growing more knowing.

Tian Qin's clothes were disheveled, her breathing chaotic. His arm across her back was neither light nor heavy, very noticeable, an undeniable force of intimidation and suppression.

All his protection came with manipulation. He didn't give her any chance to speak for herself. Taking care of a helpless, dependent woman only reinforced the rumors outside that Tian Qin was mentally unstable—living in luxury at the Xie residence, yet always wanting to escape.

Tian Qin glanced sideways. Not far away, some wealthy young men had also brought their favorite concubines. The women were delicate, docile, and gentle, holding onto the men in the same way she was.

At that moment, she truly hated herself. It was like looking in a mirror—this was how others saw her, this ugly version of herself.

A beautiful golden cage: some sparrows willingly fly in for wealth and glory; others are broken-winged and forced in. The endings also differ: some cages are left open, some never open again.

"Sisters serving the same husband are bound to be jealous. She's just a concubine, a maid. When you're tired of her, just sell her off to a slave trader. The girl might be freer outside, and your relationship with Madam Xian could deepen," a playboy whispered with a grin, holding a folding fan, dissolute and reckless. It was clear he had a close friendship with Xie Tanwei.

"Mind your own business?" Xie Tanwei's tone was lazy and casual. He took a sip of wine, smiling with a mix of affection and indifference. "Speaking of which, your father is pressing you to marry. I hear you've been drowning your sorrows in drink every night. Your father and I have some political ties. Want me to help?"

The man immediately fell silent, his face dark as the bottom of a pot. "Bringing up what I don't want to hear," he muttered.

When he looked at Tian Qin again, there was surprise and assessment. A mere illegitimate daughter, a burden, had earned

The lakeside breeze brushed across her face. Tian Qin felt a pang of loss, running to the water's edge behind the pavilion, clutching her chest.

Suddenly, silence surrounded her. Gazing out at the rippling lake, all she could hear were the long calls of waterfowl and the wind.

Xie Tanwei followed behind her, drawling lazily, "You haven't been drinking—how come you're still not feeling well?"

Tian Qin stared morosely at the pebbles at the bottom of the lake, a faint sorrow in her heart. "I don't fit in here."

Xie Tanwei looked at her, completely at a loss, his gaze as calm as the lake's surface. "You need to get used to it gradually. There will be many more banquets in the future. I can't keep you locked up in the mansion forever."

Tian Qin stood there, utterly alone.

He wrapped her in his cloak to keep her warm by the lake, and pulled her into his arms. "What are you afraid of when I'm here?"

"Wherever I go, whatever I see, I hope you'll be by my side."

Looking up, she saw the golden sun casting iridescent halos. Herons circled in mid-air. Red ants queued to build their nests. And the vast, mist-shrouded flowing waters stretched before her. It was the prime of spring—such beautiful scenery.

"...Or, if you really don't want to, at least stay where I can see you, so I can rest assured."

He kissed her forehead with moist, fervent abandon.

Tian Qin buried herself in his warm, gentle embrace, drifting, as if she were pressed against a clear, bright sky. In this hierarchical world, what others thought didn't matter; what mattered was what he thought. Only when he grew tired of her might he let her go.

In a sense, his protection of her was like protecting his own property. As a powerful minister in high favor at court, he was supremely arrogant. Casual talk about his belongings was in itself a disrespect to her. She accepted his shelter, but she also had to accept his imprisonment.

"Xie Tanwei, you are so cruel to me."

After a long pause, she said it from the bottom of her heart, her tone as cold as the lake water.

"Oh?"

She closed her eyes heavily, imagining she had already grown wings and flown into the sky. "You know exactly what I want, yet you deliberately stifle it."