Chapter 29: Your Director Has Fallen Out of Favor, Huh (with a 300-Character Forum Post)

Chapter 29: Your Director Has Fallen Out of Favor (300-word Forum)

Military Internal Network, Anonymous Forum.

"[j5 [Shitpost]] I Feel Something's Off

Topic: As the title says, j5 insiders only, I feel something's off regarding a certain person."

": The Military Affairs Bureau is just the Military Affairs Bureau. What kind of code is j5? Do you think you're some top-secret department?

You En: Wow!

You En: Oh-ho-ho.

You En: Uh-haha...

...

You En: Hard to say, I don't know the details either

This bunch of young sentinels in the military, as if they don't have jobs to do, flooded the thread with hundreds of replies in an instant.

Zuo Chou typed with a grin.

"You En: I don't know anything else, but I can tell you one thing: your director has fallen out of favor."

The screen was a barrage of question marks.

It was so satisfying to watch. He chuckled and leaned sideways onto Qin Shu.

Qin Shu was focused on eating his apple.

"What?" Qin Shu asked.

"Your military forum is hilarious. Someone asked what happened to Li Wuya, and I posted something like 'he's fallen out of favor'..."

He showed Qin Shu the screen.

"I don't browse the forum much." Qin Shu scrolled through the thread, still chewing on his apple.

He scrunched up his nose at the keywords.

"Why do they all call me 'Brother Shu'? Seriously, where did that nickname come from... Isn't it cringey to call me that?"

Zuo Chou just laughed, "Heh heh": "Brother Shu, what do you think of my reply?"

Qin Shu rubbed his chin: "Saying 'lost favor' makes me sound like an emperor."

"Now Brother Shu is spoiling me~"

"Yeah, yeah, spoiling you."

He gave Zuo Chou's long hair a quick, absentminded pat, then went back to his apple.

Yu Huaicheng, lying on the hospital bed, couldn't take it anymore: "Qin Shu, are you out of your mind? Why are you eating the fruit that was brought for me?"

Zuo Chou retorted, "If you're not eating it, let Little Shuer have it. Why be so stingy?"

"And you two are being all lovey-dovey right in front of me, a sick guy!"

"Can you stop saying gay things?"

Yu Huaicheng sneered: "Sorry, I'm exactly the 'gay' you're talking about."

"Gay and tranny." Qin Shu finished his apple, stood up, and sneered, "The Imperial Army's future is screwed."

Yu Huaicheng couldn't help it: "Didn't you marry a gay guy too? How about considering me? I'm not that bad either..."

Then Qin Shu shut him up with his mental pressure.

"Fuck off," Qin Shu said, "Getting your ass kicked by Li Wuya once wasn't enough? You want me to beat you up too?"

At the mention of that name, everyone present fell into a subtle silence.

Yu Huaicheng gritted his teeth: "How the hell was I supposed to know Li Wuya was at your place?"

"Old Yu, I feel your pain." Zuo Chou patted his shoulder.

"Zuo Chou, you bastard—the spot I got cut was my shoulder, and you're patting me there?!"

After a bit more messing around, Yu Huaicheng was 'killed' on the bed.

Having basically finished their visit to the patient, Qin Shu and Zuo Chou prepared to leave.

Before leaving, they heard Yu Huaicheng ask: "After dragging it out so long, I still have to go tomorrow. Qin Shu, I'm serious—do you want to come back to the borderlands with us?"

"In the capital, it's just this tiny patch of sky, with nothing but the same old artificial nights—you can't see the actual stars."

Qin Shu kept walking.

-

Today was Zuo Chou's seventh day in the capital.

Qin Shu finally graciously agreed to go out with him.

Zuo Chou treasured this opportunity, packing today's schedule full.

"Then we're watching a movie," he announced. "I'm ordering a ride!"

Qin Shu: "You sure?"

Zuo Chou looked up from ordering online, confused: "I'm sure."

Qin Shu said nothing more.

Although Qin Shu wasn't the talkative type to begin with, he had been even quieter lately.

In the capital, the only thing that could get a reaction out of Qin Shu was Li Wuya.

And then, connecting that to the abrupt communication a few days ago—great, the two things that pissed Qin Shu off: Li Wuya and a fleshlight.

Zuo Chou! You, too, are a sinner!

Even though Zuo Chou couldn't figure out how that lunatic Li Wuya had managed to make Qin Shu so furious over a fleshlight.

Zuo Chou apologized, and Qin Shu said it was fine.

Zuo Chou asked what happened, and Qin Shu only remained silent.

Just now on the forum, Zuo Chou wasn't lying—the only thing he knew was that Li Wuya seemed to be screwed.

Because Zuo Chou saw a flash of light, when he asked how Li Wuya was doing, Qin Shu’s reply was, “How do you get a divorce over here in the Empire?”

Zuo Chou immediately stayed up all night, packed up the divorce procedures, and hit send!

But then again, although a cold-faced Little Shuer is indeed very handsome, he still hoped Little Shuer would be happy.

A carefree Little Shuer is the cutest!

“So, Little Shuer, wanna come back to the Second Army with me? The capital's way too boring, might as well go to the border and play emperor.”

Qin Shu brushed it off: “We'll see.”

Well, same answer every time he asked.

-

Zuo Chou didn't really get what was going on in Qin Shu's head.

They were really good friends, but there was still a gap between them. Zuo Chou had spent five years getting closer, and he was still stuck just outside some boundary.

And inside that boundary?

Everyone who'd been through the war agreed: inside Qin Shu's boundary, there was only Li Wuya.

Who wouldn't want to be Li Wuya?

To be the one who could make Qin Shu smile fondly, to hold that most precious spot in Qin Shu's heart.

Honestly, a lot of people had thought: what if I were the one standing there?

They might not be stronger than Li Wuya, but they'd definitely be more open and genuine.

Li Wuya was way too good at scheming—at his core, he was a hypocritical schemer.

He'd clawed his way to Corps Commander by any means necessary, crushing any interest group that got in Qin Shu's way until there wasn't even a corpse left. As for those who wanted to get close to Qin Shu…

Come on, if you've got the guts to survive.

When Qin Shu wasn't looking, he was out of control. When Qin Shu was watching, he'd be as docile as a dog.

What did ambition and scheming even matter?

With bloodstained hands hidden behind his back, Qin Shu would still press his nose against his, fondly.

So to a lot of people who'd been through the war, it wasn't that they couldn't accept Qin Shu getting married.

It was just—why did it have to be Li Wuya of all people?

Qin Shu, why did you only choose him as your best friend and your safe haven?

-

By the end of his thoughts, Zuo Chou felt like crying. He grabbed Qin Shu's arm noisily and wiped his tears on Qin Shu's new coat.

“Zuo Chou, what's your problem? Don't tear my new coat!”

As they were messing around, the car they'd ordered slowly pulled up.

“Whoa, an actual manual car? That's a relic, isn't it?”

The moment he pulled open the door and caught a glimpse of the driver's half-hidden face, Zuo Chou's voice died in his throat.

In one smooth motion, he slammed the door and kicked the car, then exploded: “This guy just won't leave me alone!”

“Little Shuer, let's get out of here—”

“No need,” said Qin Shu.

Qin Shu opened the door, pulled Zuo Chou in, and they sat in the back seat.

The driver up front had his eyes partly hidden under a baseball cap, but did he really think a hat would fool anyone into not recognizing him as Li Wuya!

Little Shuer, why'd you get in!

Zuo Chou pinched Qin Shu's arm to show he was pissed.

Qin Shu actually said, “He's just a driver.”

The air in the car was dead silent.

Zuo Chou gritted his teeth, still unsure how far things had gone between them, and still nursing some unresolved resentment. He just hugged Qin Shu's arm, staying as close as an inch away.

“Shuer, I'm sorry. Actually, the reason I was mad about your marriage from the start was that I was worried Li Wuya would show his true colors and break your heart,” he said in a muffled voice.

“I always felt like he was fooling you… though you're the one closest to him, so you must have your own judgment.”

Qin Shu didn't say anything.

“But now that I see he really has hurt you, I feel even worse. All my fears came true, and I don't know what you should do.”

“You lost your best friend, and your true feelings got hurt. Shu, you came to the capital for him in the first place. Now I don't know… I'm really upset for you. I want to help, but you won't even talk to me.”

Qin Shu pinched his ear.

The deliberate ice cracked, and a hint of a smile lit up his eyes. The thin calluses on his fingers rubbed against Zuo Chou's earlobe, and his voice was really gentle.

“Seeing that you care about me is enough to make me happy.” Qin Shu smiled faintly. “But there really isn't anything that needs your help. I can handle everything by myself.”

“…Fine.” Zuo Chou was unwilling. “I'm leaving tomorrow.”

He'd already delayed long enough; he couldn't stretch the time any further.

But if Qin Shu said the word? Zuo Chou would stay without hesitation, no matter what trouble it caused—he would find another way to deal with anything. Qin Shu was what mattered most.

But Qin Shu said, “I know. The divorce appointment was originally set for tomorrow, but since I'm going to see you off, I changed it to the day after tomorrow.”

So soon!

Zuo Chou immediately observed the driver in the front seat.

The steering wheel wasn't broken, and there was no smell of burning.

How could he be so calm!?

-

Soon after, the two of them got out of the car.

The door shut completely, and from start to finish, Li Wuya had remained nothing but a silent driver.

On the sixth day after the wedding banquet, on the third day after their relationship had completely collapsed, Li Wuya had already found his own place.

A persistent, haunting shadow behind them.

He could be a driver, a delivery man, or a passerby brushing past.

Getting too close would make Qin Shu push him away, but being too far was unbearable. This was the only distance Qin Shu could tolerate from Li Wuya.

Even so...

The day after tomorrow... divorce.

He still had to thank Zuo Chou for buying him an extra day.

Li Wuya stayed silent for a while longer, like a corpse, then continued to think calmly.

What if I hadn't lost my mind back then? What if...

Endless blame-shifting, and it always came back to blaming his own birth. And he couldn't die yet. Dismissed.

Then he thought about his own mistakes.

He'd gone over them countless times these past few days: inferiority, arrogance, self-degradation, treating himself like an object, treating Qin Shu's sincerity like a trophy, not seeing the real Qin Shu.

Qin Shu was so kind, he laid everything out plainly. He was fixing them one by one.

First, he needed to become a decent person.

How do you become a decent person? Be honest.

He zoned out. He calculated the time—Qin Shu should be coming home soon. He started the car.

A thud against the window. It was Zuo Chou.

He lowered the window.

"I really want to kill you."

Pulling the main point from the mess of words, Li Wuya said distractedly, "I can't let you kill me."

"No matter how awful I am, A Shu doesn't think I deserve to die. If you kill me, you'll lose the right to be A Shu's friend. A Shu can't afford to lose another friend."

Zuo Chou seemed agitated and said again, "[—]"

"..."

"[—][—]"

Li Wuya suddenly realized: if Zuo Chou came alone, A Shu must already be on his way home.

Time to go.

Before leaving, he said honestly, "Thanks for buying me an extra day."

-

Qin Shu had just reached the doorstep.

Right before he opened the door, he said, "Get out here."

A shadow emerged from the quiet darkness.

A perfectly normal Li Wuya—intact, docile, calm, waiting for orders.

They went inside. The flowers were gone—Qin Shu had made Li Wuya throw them out that same day.

Qin Shu sat on the couch. Li Wuya stood by the door.

"Get over here."

A pleasant surprise he hadn't felt in days.

Li Wuya dropped to his knees at lightning speed.

Qin Shu was used to it by now—his best friend reduced to this pathetic state. Maybe this pathetic state was his true self? It seemed he'd never really understood Li Wuya in this way.

So he casually stepped on Li Wuya's knee and grabbed his chin.

"When did you start liking me? Tell me the truth."

A long pause.

Li Wuya hadn't expected a chance to come clean so soon.

"I won't lie to you again, A Shu. It was five years ago."

Qin Shu: "So you've been my friend all this time while hiding your feelings."

"No, that's not true. For the first two years, I'd already decided never to tell you how I felt. I wanted to be your friend forever. To you, my feelings would be a betrayal. I know that." Li Wuya's breath hitched a little. "But three years ago, you saved me with a deep link. That's something that can bind two people... I realized it could be my bargaining chip."

"Bargaining chip?"

"My first bargaining chip. You knew nothing about deep links, but I knew that once you found out, you'd take on responsibilities that weren't yours to carry."

"..." Qin Shu said, "You know me well."

Li Wuya didn't deny it.

"After that, my greed swelled without limit. I knew I shouldn't, but I still wanted to."

"The day you agreed to return to the capital with me, I started planning everything. First, I needed power that no one in the court could oppose. Second, I needed a reputation that would make everyone in the court play along with my act. From initiation to completion, it took me two months."

"So-called 'unrivaled influence'... all those titles were just tools I used to obtain you."

Laying bare his dark interior, showing all the festering rot to Qin Shu.

What he couldn't do before now seemed easy... Of course, Li Wuya had nothing left to lose.

If these things could earn Qin Shu's gaze?

"The leaked report was something I went along with. Everyone would desperately find me a guide, create pressure for me to marry... Cut off the White Tower's contact with you, so you wouldn't have to follow their rules. Then sending flowers—I needed an external signal that I was pursuing you."

"The political situation afterward was indeed difficult, because without authenticity, I couldn't truly deceive you. The imperial family kept failing against me, so they turned from courting to pressuring. Finally, I had a real enemy. I did need to marry, to borrow your influence and bind you to me."

"To get married, I revealed my only trump card. I exploited your guilt, I presumed on being your best friend. Underneath all that self-loathing and inferiority was pure arrogance. A Shu, I knew you would never really hurt me, so I always acted recklessly." Li Wuya lowered his eyes. "With you, I never paid a price, so we got married."

"But I still craved more. You were too good, so I started to fantasize about receiving your romantic love. I thought I could have it, I knew it didn't exist, but that kiss went to my head, and then I made you angry."

"So I tasted the consequences for the first time. After that—"

Qin Shu pressed a finger to his lips.

The mess of darkness and rot didn't stir any emotion in Qin Shu. He remained calm, a faint light flickering in his eyes.

"I know the rest," he said.

"Li Wuya, there's no need to put all the blame on yourself. I was wrong too."

"What? What did he say?"

"I also have faults?"

"What fault could Qin Shu possibly have?"

All his forced calm shattered.

In an instant, Li Wuya's ears roared, and the world inside him came crashing down.

Having lived in this world for twenty-six years, he had tasted the bitterness of failure and the despair of total defeat, but now, for the first time, he knew the taste of heartbreak.

Li Wuya, you waste, you trash, something that never should have been born...

Look at what you've done?

The brightest person is covered by dark clouds because of you, all the wrongs you've done have trapped him under a cramped sky, and now he is even blaming himself because of you?!

Why? For what? How could I possibly be worthy?

The one I love is being crushed by a sense of duty because of me, yet I once used that sense of duty as a tool to win him?

Don't be like this, please don't, please never—

In extreme terror, Li Wuya couldn't even make a sound.

The most perfect person murmured to himself: "I accepted everything you offered but never thought deeply. I trusted you but didn't understand you. I deliberately ignored a lot of things just to keep our relationship in the friend zone. If I hadn't been so lenient, you wouldn't have ended up like this."

Qin Shu said, "But Li Wuya, why have you never trusted me?"

"You turned my trust into your bargaining chip and resource, and took away my right to choose. You could have told me earlier—your feelings, your confusion, your fears. I thought I made you feel secure."

"How pathetic, Li Wuya. It's pathetic that I'm the only one in your life, and it's pathetic that you never dared to tell me. Did you ever think of yourself as Qin Shu's best friend?"

He wiped the tears from the corner of Li Wuya's eye.