Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Ji Yunshu walked out of the house in a daze, walking stiffly, almost robotically, toward the Pei family's home.

Ji Yunshu's father and Pei Yufeng's father had been comrades-in-arms for over thirty years, and after liberation, the two families had ended up living right next door to each other. Ji Yunshu only had to walk a few steps to reach the Pei family's front gate.

In the military compound, only officers at the division level or above rated their own courtyard homes. The courtyard wasn't large—just a two-story building and a small one-story kitchen.

Everyone in the compound was used to living frugally, and almost every household had carved out a patch of their courtyard to grow veggies and fruit. Each family grew something different, and they'd trade with each other. The Ji family grew grapes since those were Ji Yunshu's favorite, while the Pei family's courtyard was planted with baby bok choy. After Pei Yufeng's father had also died in the line of duty, only his grandmother was left in the house. She was already over seventy and in poor health, so she spent her time growing easy-to-grow, mild vegetables to pass the time.

It was high noon, and the heat was brutal. The Pei family's gate was shut, and not a sound came from inside. Ji Yunshu stood there, lifting her hand to knock, then letting it drop.

She didn't even know why she'd come. Pei Yufeng had just returned, so his family surely had a ton of stuff to sort out. On top of that, the weather was hot now, and his grandma liked to lie on her bamboo mat to beat the heat—she was probably napping right about now. What was she even doing showing up here? But Ji Yunshu didn't want to go back either. Going back meant facing Meng Li and He Qiuxia's awkward expression.

She didn't want to make things hard for He Qiuxia either.

Ji Yunshu stood at the door, hesitating between knocking and leaving, going back and forth until the sun was baking the back of her head.

Just as she finally decided to knock and go in, the door swung open from inside.

Ji Yunshu jumped and looked up into a pair of familiar, handsome eyes.

Pei Yufeng hadn't been home in two years, and Ji Yunshu had almost forgotten the last time he'd come back. Two years had flown by, and Pei Yufeng had gotten even better-looking than she remembered. His short black hair, still slightly damp, made the clean lines of his face stand out even more, and the muscles across his chest and arms were clearly defined. He'd clearly just showered—a few water droplets still glistened on his shoulders beneath his tank top.

Pei Yufeng stood in the doorway holding an empty basin, apparently about to collect the clothes drying in the yard. Ji Yunshu had been so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't even noticed him come out. Now, seeing him again—alive and real, not the final goodbye in her dream—Ji Yunshu found herself at a loss for words.

"Xiaoshu?" Pei Yufeng noticed she was spacing out and waved a hand in front of her face. "What's the matter? Why aren't you coming in?"

Ji Yunshu opened her mouth to say it was nothing, but that felt too forced. She dropped her head and said in a muffled voice, "Brother Pei, I... I wanted to come check on Grandma."

He glanced at her, didn't press, and stepped aside. "Come in. Grandma was just talking about you."

Ji Yunshu followed him inside.

The houses in the row all had the same layout—living room and one bedroom downstairs, two bedrooms up. Even though grandma was usually the only one home, the place was always spotless.

Grandma had a patch of balsam flowers growing in a clay pot by the front door, blooming bright red and pink. Two rattan chairs sat in the living room. Grandma was half-reclined in one, eyes closed, waving a palm-leaf fan.

Her hair was pure white but still combed neatly, and she wore her favorite blue cloth shirt, faded from countless washings. Hearing the noise, she looked up, and her eyes lit up when she saw Ji Yunshu.

"Oh, Yunshu's here?" Grandma's face broke into a smile that spread through every wrinkle. "Come here, come here, let Grandma take a look at you."

Ji Yunshu walked over, crouched by the rattan chair, and looked up at her. "Grandma, I came to see you. It's so hot this summer—want me to fan you?"

"Yunshu's such a good girl. Grandma's not hot—let Grandma fan you." The old lady reached out and touched her face, then made Ji Yunshu sit in the chair beside her. "You look a little thin. Is the heat killing your appetite? Your mom not feeding you well?"

"Grandma!" Ji Yunshu stomped her foot and whined. "I was just here the day before yesterday—how could I lose weight that fast? Mom even made me egg drop soup this morning!"

"That's better." Grandma waved the fan at her again, keeping up the breeze. "Yufeng just got back from the island with a load of seafood. Take some home with you later, and let your mom try it."

Ji Yunshu murmured an "mm-hmm."

The old lady looked at her, her eyes slightly cloudy but sharp when observing people. She watched for a few seconds, then suddenly asked, "Girl, is something weighing on your mind?"

Ji Yunshu froze, then let out a soft sigh, unsure whether she should tell Grandma.

In her dream, many people were kind to her because she was Ji Haiguo's daughter—the well-bred, good child of the chief's family. Once she was swapped back with Meng Li, those who had once praised her treated her like a jinx, wishing they could stay as far away as possible.

But that dream hadn't included Grandma and Pei Yufeng, because after Pei Yufeng's accidental death, Grandma couldn't bear the blow and passed away soon after...

No, no, what was she thinking! Brother Pei was perfectly fine, wasn't he?

Ji Yunshu desperately wanted to pinch her thigh hard, wondering how she could have thought of something so... terrible. She needed to remember this lesson. But she was afraid of pain, so she'd just give herself a light squeeze instead.

While Ji Yunshu was still lost in thought, the old lady gently patted her hand. "You've never been able to hide things since you were little—whenever you're upset, the corners of your mouth turn down. What's wrong? Tell Grandma."

Ji Yunshu's nose tingled, and she almost couldn't hold back her tears. She lowered her head and stared at her toes for a moment before saying, "Grandma, if I weren't the Ji family's biological daughter, would you still be this good to me?"

The old lady hadn't expected Ji Yunshu to say something like that. She instinctively glanced at Pei Yufeng, then quickly wrapped her arm around Ji Yunshu's shoulder. "What's wrong, girl? Who's been gossiping in front of you? Grandma likes you not because you're the Ji family's daughter. A filial and pretty girl like you—no matter whose daughter you are, Grandma will treat you just the same!"

After saying that, the old lady seemed to feel she hadn't been firm enough, so she insisted on dragging Pei Yufeng into it. "Feng, isn't that right? No matter whose daughter Xiaoshu is, you have to treat her just as well."

Pei Yufeng stood nearby, received Grandma's look, and gave a slight nod. "I will."

The old lady was satisfied with that and patted Ji Yunshu's hand. "Did your father make our Xiaoshu unhappy again? Sit with Grandma for a while, and let your Brother Pei wash you some fruit. When I see your father in a few days, I'll have a good talk with him—he shouldn't always be finding fault with you. Our Xiaoshu is Grandma's favorite girl. If Ji Haiguo doesn't want you, Grandma would be more than happy to take you home and raise you as her own granddaughter!"

Ji Yunshu's face flushed red at Grandma's words. No matter what she did, Grandma supported her a thousand times over, and that was precisely why she loved visiting the Pei family so much.

During the days when Pei Yufeng was serving on the island, Ji Yunshu would go next door every few days to keep Grandma company. Grandma never let Ji Yunshu do any work—she would personally prepare all the good food and drink and serve it to her. At home, Ji Yunshu had He Qiuxia doting on her, and outside, she had Grandma protecting her. The greatest hardship Ji Yunshu had ever endured in her life was the dream from last night.

The nightmare, which had felt as real as if she'd lived through it, finally dissipated completely the moment Grandma pulled her into her arms. Ji Yunshu leaned against Grandma's shoulder, listening to her hum a little tune, and her anxious, restless mood finally settled somewhat.

Pei Yufeng turned and went into the kitchen, then came back out with an enamel basin filled with washed plums. The purplish-red plums were perfectly balanced between sweet and tart—Ji Yunshu's favorite flavor. He set the basin on the coffee table in front of her, then pulled up a chair and sat down.

After that, Pei Yufeng took a clean handkerchief and dried the water droplets off each plum one by one, then used a small knife to cut each plum in half, remove the pit, and slice it into small pieces before handing them to Ji Yunshu.

Ji Yunshu loved eating plums but hated biting into them—she insisted on having someone remove the pits before she'd eat them.

Every time Ji Haiguo saw Ji Yunshu being so "picky for no reason," he'd get irritated, but there was nothing he could do—everyone in the family was willing to spoil her. Even if He Qiuxia wasn't there, there was still Pei Yufeng's grandmother and others. He had no standing in the household, so he could only huff and puff and pretend not to see it.

Ji Yunshu naturally took the plum pieces and popped them into her mouth. Plums in this season were juicy, and after being soaked in well water, they were refreshingly cool. Biting into one felt like being enveloped in sweet, fresh juice, and she ate several in a row.

Halfway through, she remembered Grandma and Pei Yufeng were still there, so she blushed and hurriedly picked up a few to offer them.

The two of them were long accustomed to Ji Yunshu's behavior. Grandmother and grandson exchanged a knowing smile. The old lady shook her head saying she didn't want any and went back to waving her fan, chatting with Ji Yunshu as she did; Pei Yufeng, meanwhile, took the plum from Ji Yunshu's hand and popped it into his mouth in one go.

Ji Yunshu didn't notice that when Pei Yufeng's fingertips inadvertently brushed against hers, his eyelashes trembled slightly, and the veins on the back of his other hand gripping the knife stood out more prominently than before.

Ji Yunshu was still intently listening to Grandma's casual chatter—about how the balsam flowers at home were blooming beautifully now and she'd dye Ji Yunshu's nails with them later; how another batch of baby bok choy was almost ready and she'd have He Qiuxia come pick some; how Pei Yufeng was already a regular battalion-level cadre on the island, and the reason he hadn't come back last year was that his previous battalion commander had died in the line of duty, leaving him swamped with work...

As Ji Yunshu listened, she felt even more admiration for Grandma and Pei Yufeng.

Pei Yufeng's mother had been captured and persecuted by enemy agents when he was very young. She had died a heroic death to protect more comrades. Later, his father had also made the ultimate sacrifice on the Korean War battlefield, leaving Pei Yufeng an orphan of a martyr at a young age. That was why Ji Yunshu had always felt deep sympathy and respect for this older brother.

Pei Yufeng's father had also lost his parents at a young age, and among the older generation of relatives, only Grandma remained. Grandma had been strong and optimistic her whole life, but the blow of losing a child before herself was still too much to bear. Although she had survived both tragedies, Ji Yunshu couldn't bear to imagine how devastated Grandma would be if what happened in her dream ever came true...

At that thought, Ji Yunshu's heart grew troubled again. She didn't know if Dad had made it home yet, what was happening at the house now, whether Meng Li and Mom had truly been reunited, or...

She couldn't sit still anymore.

"Grandma," Ji Yunshu stood up, "I should head back. Something came up at home, and Dad should be back by now. No matter whose daughter I am from now on, I'll still come visit Grandma often!"

The old lady nodded and patted Ji Yunshu's arm. "You're still young—let the adults handle those matters. Don't worry, Grandma will always protect you. Pei Yufeng, walk your little sister Xiaoshu out."

Pei Yufeng had already turned and gone inside, and a moment later came out carrying a canvas bag bigger than a basketball, stuffed to the brim.

"Brought back from the island." The two walked out of the house into the courtyard, and Pei Yufeng handed her the bag. "Last time you mentioned you liked the dried red fish from the island, so I packed three bags for you this time. Eat them slowly. There's also some dried shrimp and dried scallops—take them back and have Aunt He make you some soup. And a few boxes of chocolate, Soviet ones. I ran into a Soviet comrade during a mission before, and since I remembered you liked them, I had him send a few boxes over for you to try."

"Thank you, Brother Pei!" Ji Yunshu took the bag, so heavy she almost dropped it.

Pei Yufeng seemed to realize he'd messed up and quickly lifted the bag back up. "Come on, I'll walk you to your front door."

Ji Yunshu looked down at the canvas bag in Pei Yufeng's hand, and suddenly felt a sting in her nose. Every time Pei Yufeng came back, he brought her something—shells, conch, dried fish, fruit—whatever he could find. She had never asked him why, as if it were just a given.

But now, she suddenly realized it wasn't a given at all.

She looked up at him. He stood tall and straight, his usual stern, cold expression unchanged, but his eyes were quietly fixed on her, as if he'd do anything she asked.

Ji Yunshu's tears spilled over.

She hadn't expected it either. She reached up to wipe them away, but the more she wiped, the more they fell.

Pei Yufeng had never expected Ji Yunshu to be so upset. He kept replaying what he'd just said, wondering where he'd gone wrong. He stood frozen, his hand lifting to wipe her tears, then stopping halfway, unsure if it was appropriate. Finally, he let it drop and asked hurriedly, "Is it the food? You don't like the chocolate or the seafood? I'll bring something else next time..."

He clenched his fist, his hand tightening at his side, his voice genuinely panicked. "Don't cry. What's wrong? What happened?"

Ji Yunshu shook her head, unable to speak through her sobs.

"Hang on a sec." Pei Yufeng stood there helplessly for a brief moment, then turned and went inside, coming back with a clean towel and handing it to her.

"Wipe your face," he said, his voice low, as if he were carefully tending to her feelings.

Ji Yunshu took the towel and pressed it to her face, crying quietly into it for a while before the tears finally stopped.

She lowered the towel, her eyes red, her nose red too. Looking at Pei Yufeng's anxious expression, she suddenly found it a little amusing.

"It's nothing, Brother Pei." Ji Yunshu sniffled. "I just think you're way too good to me."

A person like you shouldn't have to die so young. You still have a bright future ahead...

Pei Yufeng was caught off guard.

He opened his mouth as if to say something, but in the end, he said nothing. He simply stayed by Ji Yunshu's side, took the used towel from her hand, and walked her all the way back to the Ji family's courtyard.

"Go on inside." At the gate of the Ji family courtyard, Pei Yufeng handed the canvas bag back to Ji Yunshu. "It's hot out. Don't stay outside too long."

Ji Yunshu nodded and walked inside with the bag.

At the door, she turned back for a look.

Pei Yufeng was still standing outside the yard, the sunlight casting a long shadow behind him. He waved at her, as if to say, "Don't worry, I'm still here."

Author's note:

Thank you for reading—this secret crush is one man's lonely war.