Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Pei Yufeng's hand froze. He placed the bolt of fabric back on the counter, turned to look at Ji Yunshu, his lips parting slightly before he instinctively apologized: "Sorry, I thought you liked it."

Ji Yunshu looked at Pei Yufeng quietly. He stood by the counter, sunlight streaming through the window and falling on his shoulders, making his white shirt appear almost translucent. There was a flicker of panic and uncertainty in his eyes—like a child who'd eagerly offered up something wonderful only to have it rejected, standing there not knowing where to put his hands.

Ji Yunshu's heart suddenly softened. She felt her earlier words had indeed been too harsh and quickly explained: "I know you mean well."

Her voice lowered. "I know you want to give me everything good, but I don't want that much. Now that it's just the two of us at home, we should watch our spending—"

Mid-sentence, Ji Yunshu couldn't keep it up herself. The corner of her mouth curved up, the smile impossible to suppress. Watch our spending—those words coming out of her mouth just didn't sound right, no matter how she said them. When had she, Ji Yunshu, ever watched her spending? But she still lifted her chin and plowed ahead with unearned confidence, her voice carrying a hint of laughter: "I just want to live a good life together with you. Whether we buy something or not, let's talk it over together, alright?"

From the moment Ji Yunshu's tone softened, Pei Yufeng's gaze never left her face. Seeing that she really wasn't bothered by the little incident, Pei Yufeng nodded solemnly: "Alright, I'll do whatever you say."

Ji Yunshu turned back to continue looking at the fabric, her fingers absently stroking a bolt of navy cotton, feeling the rough, sturdy texture beneath her fingertips, but her mind was no longer on the colors and patterns in front of her.

It was only now that she truly realized what it meant for two people with no emotional foundation to suddenly tie the knot, and what kind of impact it would have on their lives.

In the past, she had always believed she understood Pei Yufeng. They'd grown up in the same compound. She had seen his quiet, reticent teenage years, seen the look in his eyes as he stood at the back of the truck the day he left for the army, and seen the slightly awkward smile he gave her every time he came home on leave and spotted her at the Ji family's doorstep.

But these past few years, they had been apart for far too long. He only came back once every two years, and each visit lasted less than fifteen days—like a migratory bird passing through, gone before his feet even got warm.

Even during Pei Yufeng's leave, they didn't see each other every day. He had a lot to do, a lot of old acquaintances to catch up with, but the Pei Yufeng Ji Yunshu saw was no different from before—still so responsible, so thoughtful in every way, treating her like someone who needed to be properly looked after. And still so good to her—so direct, so unreserved.

So Ji Yunshu had always figured that them teaming up to run a household shouldn't be a problem. She thought their relationship would at least not be like some families in the compound, where husband and wife met like enemies, talked like they were fighting, and would rather eat at separate tables. She thought peaceful coexistence was the best a marriage could be.

But now, she realized that Pei Yufeng had changed. Or rather, she suddenly discovered that her understanding of Pei Yufeng had always been stuck in the past, stuck in that impression of "who she thought he was"—like a book she'd read halfway, thinking she knew what came next, but when she actually opened it, every line was filled with things she never expected.

She recognized that she had changed too.

Pei Yufeng was still the same Pei Yufeng, earnestly piling good things up in front of her. But she wasn't the same Ji Yunshu she used to be. In the past, she spoke bluntly, said whatever was on her mind, let her displeasure show on her face, and voiced her dissatisfaction openly. He Qiuxia and Ji Haiguo didn't mind—her parents spoiled her, and she spoiled herself. But the people in the compound didn't spoil her, and she knew well what they said about her. They said she was high-maintenance, that she went looking for trouble, that she was rude and disrespectful, that with her spoiled temper, whoever married her would be in for a rough time. These gossiping words were like the wind, drifting from one window to another, and she heard every last one.

Ji Yunshu truly hadn't cared before. When she heard something she didn't like, she'd snap right back—hands on her hips, eyebrow raised, a single "None of your business" was enough to leave the other person speechless. She never thought there was anything wrong with that, and never considered making herself miserable for anyone. Whoever made her miserable wouldn't get the time of day from her—fair and square.

But now, facing Pei Yufeng, she couldn't do it.

This realization was like a needle, pricking her heart. The interweaving of dreams and reality had changed so much of her thinking, which was why she treasured the people around her all the more.

Pei Yufeng stood by the counter, his white shirt glowing in the sunlight, the carefulness in his eyes not yet fully gone—she suddenly thought, she didn't want to be the one who made him so cautious. She wanted to sit down with Pei Yufeng and slowly tell him that she didn't like this kind of "here, take everything, no discussion needed" kindness. Even if the intentions were good and the things were good, for her, Ji Yunshu, those didn't matter. What mattered was the two of them "discussing" things, the "doing it together." She wanted him to see her as a wife who could move forward with him, not someone who needed to be managed.

She wanted to tell Pei Yufeng: Don't be so quiet—ask me. Ask me if I like it, if I want it. Tell me how much money we have left at home, how much we'll spend this month, and how much we'll save. Let's sit down, like all proper young couples do, and go over the accounts, bicker a little, say "this is too pricey, let's get it next time," say "that one's nice, it'd be perfect for making you a shirt"—these were the things she wanted to say, but the words lingered on the tip of her tongue, and she didn't know how to begin. When had she, Ji Yunshu, ever needed to weigh her words? Only with him, she was afraid that if she said it too lightly he wouldn't understand, and if she said it too heavily he'd be hurt.

Ji Yunshu was thinking that when they got home, she would explain this clearly to Pei Yufeng, when suddenly Pei Yufeng gently nudged her arm with his elbow.

He spoke in a low voice, with a hint of hesitation, but with more solemnity than before: "Then can you tell me..."

He paused. "What kind do you like?"

"I'm still looking! I want to discuss it with you." Ji Yunshu hadn't expected Pei Yufeng to understand her inner conflict and silence. His words were like a clear spring, making her eyes bright and transparent. "I'd only looked at two kinds and you were already rushing to buy. I don't know what to say to you."

Ji Yunshu's fingers slid over another bolt of lotus-pink floral fabric, then picked up a roll of light green pure cotton beside it, pinching the thickness. "This material would be good for pajamas—thin, soft, and absorbent."

She held the fabric out to Pei Yufeng, letting him feel it too.

Pei Yufeng reached out, and as his fingers touched the fabric, they also brushed against Ji Yunshu's fingertips. Their fingers touched for a moment, then separated. His hand paused briefly, then slowly felt the cloth and nodded.

"Then this one's a backup option," Pei Yufeng said.

"Right, I'm planning to buy about six kinds of fabric total. I'll make a few sets for myself and two for you too." Ji Yunshu brought over several more bolts for him to see—one white, one light pink, and one beige. With each one, she had Pei Yufeng feel it and told him what kind of clothes would suit it.

Pei Yufeng's heart stirred. He had learned now—he noted down everything Ji Yunshu said, comparing the ones suitable for pajamas together, the ones for long dresses together, the ones for shirts together... His memory was excellent, and without Ji Yunshu having to say it, he could offer her comparison suggestions.

In the end, Ji Yunshu picked three bolts of rayon and three bolts of cotton—six fabrics in total, twelve feet of each color. The sales clerk cut the fabric, folded it, stacked it together, and tied it up with rope before handing it to Pei Yufeng.

Six feet of fabric was enough to make a long skirt that went past the knee, or a man's shirt. While twelve feet per bolt didn't seem like much individually, six rolls stacked together were quite heavy.

Ji Yunshu noticed the red marks the rope had left on Pei Yufeng's fingers and scratched her head awkwardly: "Feels like I bought a bit too much."

"We only get one home leave a year—this isn't much," Pei Yufeng said.

The two of them walked out of the department store as the sun was beginning to set. Pei Yufeng carried Ji Yunshu's clothes and fabric in both hands. Ji Yunshu offered to help carry some, but he wouldn't let her, so she walked beside him empty-handed.

"Brother Pei," Ji Yunshu called out.

"Hm."

"I want to tell you something."

"Go ahead."

Ji Yunshu thought for a moment, then spoke slowly: "Back home, I used to get whatever I wanted. My mom never said no. I was used to getting things the moment I wanted them, and if I couldn't, I'd throw a fuss."

She paused and glanced at him: "But I don't want to live like that with you. You're good to me, I know that, but you can't just indulge my every whim. I'm not a child anymore. I can decide for myself what I want and what I don't. If you keep trying to give me everything without discussing it with me, I'll feel like you don't trust me, don't trust that I can manage our life well. I think we should discuss things and accommodate each other. You talk too little—sometimes I have no idea what you're thinking. That won't work. We're husband and wife. You need to tell me what's on your mind."

Pei Yufeng walked on her left, his steps slow, perfectly matching hers. "Do I talk that little?"

"Hm, don't you think so? Compared to my brother, you barely say anything!" Ji Yunshu's head ached just thinking about Ji Yunting's endless chatter during his leave at home. Compared to him, Pei Yufeng was practically a man of few words.

"Alright," Pei Yufeng said.

Ji Yunshu glared at him: "Is 'alright' all you can say?"

Pei Yufeng thought for a moment, then said: "Fine. From now on, I'll tell you everything about my affairs."

Ji Yunshu laughed in spite of her anger and lightly slapped his arm. Pei Yufeng's arm was rock hard—the impact left her palm tingling instead. She quickly pulled her hand back, pretending nothing had happened.

The corner of Pei Yufeng's mouth twitched. He didn't laugh out loud, but his eyes curved slightly.

By the time they reached the entrance of the compound, it was almost dark. The young soldier at the gate recognized them and greeted them with a smile. Pei Yufeng nodded, and Ji Yunshu smiled back.

Once inside the compound, Ji Yunshu suddenly remembered something and changed direction. "Brother Pei, let's go see Little White before we leave! I want to say goodbye. Once we're on the island, I won't be able to see it anymore."

Little White was the rabbit Ji Yunshu had kept at Pei Yufeng's place that had passed away of old age.

Pei Yufeng nodded: "Alright. Some families on the island raise rabbits too. If you want one, I'll trade for one."

"That'd be great! But I don't want a rabbit—I want a cat." Ji Yunshu gestured to Pei Yufeng. "I want one of those tabby cats that can catch mice. I heard the rats in the south are huge—absolutely terrifying!"

Pei Yufeng loved listening to Ji Yunshu chatter on about daily life like this. He remembered the rats he'd seen before—indeed, each one was the size of four or five northern rats combined. "The military unit lays out bait for pest control regularly. Don't worry, you shouldn't run into any."

"Good, good. Then I'll just get a little cat to keep me company, just in case."

The two walked side by side toward the small grove near the exercise ground. Ji Yunshu found the tree where Little White was buried, with a slightly raised patch of earth beneath it. She crouched down and touched the soil with her hand.

"Little White, I know you can't understand me, but thank you for keeping me and Brother Pei company for so long." Ji Yunshu said softly. "I'm leaving now, going to a place far away. I might only come back once a year, or maybe every two years. You stay safe here—don't let the stray cats dig you up."

Pei Yufeng stood behind her, listening to her words. Even with his strong composure, he couldn't help but let out a soft chuckle.

Ji Yunshu finished her farewell, stood up, dusted the dirt off her hands, and turned to head back.

Just as she left the small woods, she heard a rustling sound from the bushes beside her.

She glanced over instinctively. In the twilight, two figures emerged from behind the bushes—one tall, one short. The tall one wore a military uniform, and the short one wore a floral dress with her hair tied in two braids, the ends slightly loose, as if they'd been rubbed against something.

It was He Jianjun and Meng Li, of all people.

He Jianjun's hand was still resting on Meng Li's waist. When he saw Ji Yunshu and Pei Yufeng, his hand twitched but didn't pull back—it stayed on Meng Li's waist. Meng Li leaned against He Jianjun's shoulder, a few strands of hair loose, a flush on her face. Seeing Ji Yunshu, she showed no embarrassment at being caught—her blush only deepened.

Ji Yunshu glanced at them, her heart didn't stir—if anything, she found it a bit funny.

Meng Li really was loyal to He Jianjun. And He Jianjun was disgusting too—just days ago, he was acting all lovesick in front of her, saying things like "I'm willing to wait for you," and now he was already holding Meng Li... oh, right, she's Ji Yunli now.

Ji Yunshu looked away, tugged at Pei Yufeng's sleeve, and planned to walk past without acknowledging them.

But Meng Li suddenly stepped forward, holding out her hand to block Ji Yunshu and Pei Yufeng's path. Standing in front of Ji Yunshu, she smoothed her hair, retied the loose braid ends, and wore a smile: "Sister, why are you in such a hurry to leave without even saying hi to me?"

Ji Yunshu shot her a cold glare. Meng Li wasn't flustered at all—in fact, a smug, gloating grin spread across her face.

"Looks like sister doesn't want to talk to me. That's fine—you're leaving the day after tomorrow anyway." Meng Li didn't care whether Ji Yunshu acknowledged her or not, continuing on her own, "Life on the island is tough, and given your health, sister, you need to take good care of yourself once you're there. Best if you and Brother Pei have a kid or two soon—if there's no news for too long, people will start talking."

After saying this, Meng Li's gaze swept over Ji Yunshu's flat stomach, her tone carrying a certainty, as if she already knew how it would end.

Ji Yunshu looked at her, her heart thudding hard.

So Meng Li really did know everything from the dream—knew she'd been bullied by He's mother and gossiped about by others because she never had a child. That's why she said such things—she was showing off, knowing Ji Yunshu couldn't get pregnant, mocking her in advance.

"Is that so? Then I hope you don't do anything shameful to disgrace the Ji family—that would really make people laugh!" Ji Yunshu didn't linger, her gaze sweeping over He Jianjun, feeling only disgust.

He Jianjun stood by the bushes, hands in his pockets, watching with a faint, indifferent smile on his lips, like he was watching a good show.

Pei Yufeng, standing behind Ji Yunshu, had a grim expression. When he wasn't smiling, his features were naturally cold—high brow bones, deep-set eyes, and the slight downward curve of his lips gave him an aloof, keep-your-distance air. His lips pressed into a thin line, his jaw muscles tight. He didn't look at He Jianjun, nor at Meng Li. He turned to glance at Ji Yunshu first.

Pei Yufeng seemed to be checking if she'd been hurt. Seeing her chin slightly raised, back straight, still in that unyielding posture, his Adam's apple bobbed slightly, but the coldness in his eyes deepened.

Then he turned to face Meng Li: "Comrade Meng, whether my wife is good or capable is a matter for our family—no outsider's business. If you talk to Xiaoshu like that again, I won't hesitate to repeat your exact words to my parents."

Pei Yufeng knew Meng Li had been putting on a show in front of He Qiuxia and Ji Haiguo. He didn't deign to argue with a woman, but if she made Ji Yunshu unhappy, he wouldn't let it go.

His words doused Meng Li like a bucket of ice water. Her face went pale for a moment, her lips trembling slightly. She was about to speak, but Ji Yunshu had already walked past her, treating her like air.

"Let's go." Ji Yunshu called to Pei Yufeng, her voice calm.

Pei Yufeng nodded and walked beside her, the two leaving one after the other.

After taking a dozen or so steps, as they turned a corner, Ji Yunshu caught a glimpse out of the corner of her eye—Meng Li was still standing there, and He Jianjun had walked over to stand beside her, saying something. Meng Li laughed, not loudly, but Ji Yunshu heard it.

Ji Yunshu turned her head away and stopped looking.

Walking beside Pei Yufeng, she thought about how in the dream, she really had no children. Years into the marriage, her belly never showed. He's mother called her a barren hen every day, and everyone in the compound made fun of her. She had gone to the hospital for checkups, and the doctors said her body was fine, but she just couldn't get pregnant.

Later, Meng Li got pregnant quickly after meeting He Jianjun, and even stood in front of her with a big belly, smiling and saying, "Sister, I'm pregnant."

Ji Yunshu didn't know why she couldn't get pregnant in the dream—whether it was because of the serious illness she had at fourteen that damaged her body, or some other reason—but she didn't want to gamble on it.

She couldn't wait until she'd been on the island for a year or two without getting pregnant before thinking about getting checked—by then it would be too late.

Ji Yunshu slowed her pace, glanced sideways at Pei Yufeng, and said, "Brother Pei, I want to tell you something."

Pei Yufeng turned to look at her.

"Before we leave, I want to go to the hospital for a checkup." Ji Yunshu hesitated, then spoke slowly, "Get my health checked again, see if I can have kids."

Pei Yufeng's steps faltered slightly, realizing that Meng Li's words had still affected Ji Yunshu's mood. He quickly said, "The pre-marital checkup was all good—you're definitely fine. Don't let her..."

Even though Pei Yufeng's expression was stern, Ji Yunshu somehow felt he looked a bit silly when he was defending her.

Watching him try so hard to speak up for her, Ji Yunshu couldn't help but burst out laughing, interrupting him: "I'll go to the affiliated hospital of Sister Yunzhen's school for a proper checkup—their gynecology department is good. If everything's fine, isn't that better? Better safe than sorry!"

As she said this, Ji Yunshu's brows were relaxed, her tone light, as if she had truly cast Meng Li's words aside. Pei Yufeng still observed her, but nodded: "Alright, I'll go with you tomorrow."

Seeing Pei Yufeng frowning in serious contemplation, Ji Yunshu couldn't resist teasing him. A smile curved at the corner of her mouth, and she said in a playful tone, "Brother Pei, don't you want a kid just like me?"

Author's note:

Thanks for reading! Xiaoshu's way of thinking is a bit abstract in this chapter. Comments and red packets are appreciated—thanks for your support!