chapter 98

Chapter 98: The Search

The three, including Qi Yanbing, departed without hesitation, as if chased by specters.

Before leaving, they managed to cast a sympathetic "good luck" glance at Shen He.

Shen He thought, "... Really? What about brotherly loyalty?!"

When they were in it together, why leave him alone to face the storm now?

It's not like he wasn't scared!

So be it.

Shen He had to admit, he carried a hint of arrogance due to being overly indulged, and he wasn't particularly afraid of Qi Zhuoyun.

Those faint fears primarily stemmed from his own guilt.

Shen He was flustered and embarrassed, standing in place, his hands hidden inside his sleeves, fidgeting repeatedly, as if this could alleviate his anxiety.

Regrettably, even this minor privilege was denied by his angered guardian.

Qi Zhuoyun said, "Hehe, show your hands."

Shen He obediently stopped his movements, extending his hands from his sleeves, attempting to plead, "Brother, let me explain!"

Qi Zhuoyun ignored Shen He's words. After sitting down, he told the others in the courtyard, "All of you, leave."

Consequently, Zhong Hong, Lian Qiao, and the rest left, leaving only Shen He and Qi Zhuoyun in the now empty courtyard.

Shen He suddenly felt the courtyard seemed vast. The emptiness and the breeze gave him chills.

He then heard Qi Zhuoyun's second statement to him since his arrival, "Alright, brother will listen to your explanation."

Shen He: ...

He pursed his lips.

There was no need to treat him as if he was on trial; he was genuinely scared.

In reality, Qi Zhuoyun wasn't cold-hearted. Though his face was expressionless, his tone towards Shen He was relatively gentle.

To outsiders, this Qi Zhuoyun seemed no different from before.

But through Shen He's eyes, this was a monumental display of anger and displeasure.

He felt profoundly wronged all at once.

He had been able to bear the grievances before, but now it felt as if his defenses had been shattered. Looking at Qi Zhuoyun's deep, dark eyes and expressionless cold face, he couldn't utter an explanation, and his eyes began to redden.

The fair skin of the young boy quickly flushed, including the tip of his nose. Misty moisture threatened to spill from his eyes, yet he bit his lip, holding back the tears.

He widened his eyes, as though doing so could increase their capacity to hold back the tears, preventing them from spilling over.

Qi Zhuoyun: "..." A pang of pain twisted in his heart, as though someone had mercilessly crumpled it into a wrinkled ball of dry paper.

He reached out, grasped Shen He's hand, pulled him close, and knelt to his level. Gazing up at him with a voice as gentle as one might use to soothe a baby, he said, "I'm sorry, Hehe. Big brother isn't mad, nor was I trying to scold you. Don't cry. It's my fault. Please don't cry."

Shen He clenched his teeth, thinking resentfully, I'm not going to cry! Even if it kills me today, I won't let a single tear drop!

He tried not to blink, tilting his head slightly to will his tears back.

No wonder his guardian always treated him like a child. Look at him now, acting like a whiny brat and shedding tears. He's grown up, for heaven's sake.

Unfortunately, once tears start to flow, they don't heed their master's command.

They formed into a clear droplet, pausing briefly on his eyelash, wetting it before rolling down his cheek, teetering on the edge of his chin.

Qi Zhuoyun lifted his hand, wiping away the lukewarm tear with the pad of his finger, gently consoling, "Big brother just got a bit overwhelmed. I couldn't control my temper. Can you be generous and not hold it against me?"

Shen He's voice held a hint of nasal whine, "I'm not. I'm not a child."

Saying so, he forcefully pulled his hand away and rubbed his face roughly with his sleeve.

After apologizing, Qi Zhuoyun was, for a moment, at a loss for words.

As a crown prince all these years, what hadn't he seen or dealt with? He rarely felt so disoriented.

Except when facing the man before him.

It was hard for him to describe his emotions from the past couple of days. News concerning Shen He had overwhelmed him, making him connect dots he had previously overlooked.

He felt surprised and proud of the child he had raised, yet a pang of exclusion and anxiety from being kept in the dark, all amalgamating into a complex emotion.

Immense relief and guilt engulfed Qi Zhuoyun. He knew too well the implications of his forthcoming actions. He couldn't help but wonder if Shen He's future would have been drastically different, perhaps brighter, if he hadn't led him astray.

Along with the guilt, a peculiar memory resurfaced.

He remembered countless times teasing the young boy, coaxing him to share his hard-earned money and gifts from elders. The child, torn between reluctance and generosity, would always share everything he had, giving a bit more each time.

He would often ask the child, "When you grow up and if big brother has no money, will you support me?"

The child would always respond, "Yes, yes, I definitely will. I'll take good care of you."

As Qi Zhuoyun tightened his grip on Shen He's hand unconsciously, he gazed into the boy's still-moist eyes. His voice, laced with a hint of amusement and seemingly veiled in mist, inquired, "Hehe, at the beginning of the year during the heavy snow, the court received a generous donation of eight hundred gold taels for disaster relief. Was it you who donated it?"

As Shen He regained control of his emotions, he sniffled and said with newfound confidence, "Yes, I did donate. But it wasn't just me. Xue Ze also contributed. We split it fifty-fifty."

He wasn't trying to brag, but given that he had made this contribution, Qi Zhuoyun shouldn't be too harsh on him, right?

At the end of the day, what truly weighed on Shen He's mind was his future plans to run away.

With his assets now public knowledge, how could he possibly take his retirement savings and leave the capital to heal his broken heart?

He hasn't gotten over his unrequited love yet!

This is such a mess!

It's all that damn Chen Yuejiang's fault!

If it weren't for Chen Yuejiang, he wouldn't have been exposed these past two years!

The very thought made Shen He grit his teeth in anger.

If Qi Zhuoyun were to ask him later why he hid it, he'd need a convincing excuse.

Shen He decided to take the initiative.

He asked, "Brother, since you knew, why didn't you come to see me these past few days?"

Qi Zhuoyun didn't provide an explanation, simply saying, "It's my mistake."

He pulled Shen He down to sit, brushing the corner of his eye with his fingertip, feeling the lingering moisture.

Qi Zhuoyun's admission of guilt was so straightforward that Shen He's intended confrontation seemed pointless, leaving him on the defensive.

Shen He grew anxious once more, waiting for Qi Zhuoyun to question him about the secrecy.

Yet, as time passed, Qi Zhuoyun just held him, never posing a single question.

This silence unnerved Shen He. He almost wished Qi Zhuoyun would ask something.

Because if things continued this way, he would hear his own heartbeat, growing louder and louder.

He absolutely, utterly, and immensely detested this feeling!

Shen He couldn't contain his restlessness. By nature, he wasn't very patient. Compared to Qi Zhuoyun, he didn't even have a tenth of his patience. He felt compelled to break the silence first, "Brother... I'm not comfortable. I'd like to sit up on my own."

Qi Zhuoyun rested his head on Shen He's shoulder, pressing into it as if trying to bury himself there. Shen He thought he imagined it when he heard an almost inaudible voice whisper, "I'm sorry."

It was so soft that Shen He barely caught it. The embrace loosened, and a gentle pat on his shoulder was accompanied by a faint chuckle, "Alright, sit up then."

The laughter sounded just like it always had.

This made Shen He even more suspicious, wondering if he'd misheard.

The matter, unexpectedly, was brushed aside with such ease.

Even when Zhong Hong and Lian Qiao were called back, there was a hint of surprise in their eyes as they glanced between Shen He and Qi Zhuoyun.

They'd expected a confrontation, given the stern demeanor of the crown prince that hinted at a potential reprimand.

Qi Zhuoyun playfully asked Shen He, "Why did Hehe run to others with his grievances and not come to me?"

Shen He felt that this was Qi Zhuoyun's way of getting back at him for his previous defensive tactics.

But that was fine; he had thick skin.

Feigning understanding for Qi Zhuoyun, Shen He replied, "Brother, you're always so busy. I figured seeking help from my maternal grandfather or grandfather would be just as effective."

Shen He expected his guardian to immediately respond with the usual "Always remember to come to me first. I'm your strongest pillar in the capital," a line he'd heard countless times and could almost recite by heart.

However, this time was different.

Instead of the usual response, Qi Zhuoyun skipped over it, directly asking, "What does Hehe think should be done with Chen Yuejiang?"

What should be done?

Shen He was caught off guard by the question.

He merely wanted Chen Yuejiang imprisoned, causing trouble for his brother and, by extension, Qi Leyong. In short, he wanted Chen Yuejiang to pay for his misdeeds.

However, he wanted to help Qi Zhuoyun with this. If Qi Zhuoyun handled it himself, how could it be considered Shen He assisting him?

Thus, he couldn't let Qi Zhuoyun intervene any further.

Shen He deflected, "As it stands, if he's imprisoned and our losses are compensated, I'll be satisfied."

Qi Zhuoyun responded to him, "Alright."

Shen He: "What do you mean 'alright'?"

After arriving at Shen He's small residence, Qi Zhuoyun didn't leave but instead stayed to have dinner with him.

As night fell, Shen He was racking his brains on how to persuade Qi Zhuoyun not to stay overnight. He worried that Qi Zhuoyun felt wronged on his behalf, wanting to assume the role of a guardian and stay with him for the night.

He couldn't bear the thought. Who knew what shocking scene he might wake up to the next morning?

Shen He felt a lingering unease.

Shen He was deep in thought.

But when it was almost time to lock the palace gates, Qi Zhuoyun left with his entourage.

Shen He: "What?"

Really?

Did Qi Zhuoyun change during their time apart?

His actions and the way he spoke had become so unpredictable.

Do straight men change this quickly?

Shen He squatted in the corridor, playing with a pomegranate under the dim light.

The pomegranate's green leaves were plucked by him, making it half bare and half verdant.

He Líng approached with a basin of water and teased him, "Is the young master upset? His Highness didn't scold you today, so why the long face?"

Supporting his chin with one hand, Shen He's cheeks were squished by his palm, he replied listlessly, "Just lost in some thoughts."

He Líng placed the basin down, beckoning Shen He, "Young master, wash your hands. Whatever it is, you can think about it tomorrow. Speaking of which, I never imagined that the popular items in the capital were made by you and Master Liu. Ordinary people can't even fathom them, but you've thought of so many. No wonder even the Crown Prince was taken aback."

He Líng shared with a smile, "What you might not know is that after the Grand Duke learned of this, he had it investigated multiple times before he was convinced it was your shop."

Shen He stood up, showing some mercy by leaving the pomegranate's remaining leaves untouched. He returned the pomegranate to its original spot by the wooden railing and dusted off his hands before washing them, "It wasn't my idea. I couldn't think of all these incredible things. I saw them in a book I read before."

He Líng curiously inquired, "Oh? What book is so remarkable? When did the young master come across it? Was it among those storybooks and illustrated albums you read? The illustrator must have been truly gifted."

Shen He dredged up an old excuse he had once crafted for his younger cousins, "I read it a long time ago when I was very young, which you weren't aware of. I have no idea where that book is now. I just remembered some of the content and drew it out accordingly."

After washing his hands, Shen He sighed deeply, murmuring, "Now that everyone knows, I'll be busier from tomorrow. No more need to make rounds outside for everything."

With that, he collapsed onto the couch, looking utterly boneless.

As He Líng carried the water out, Shen He's antics made her chuckle, "Who asked the young master to hide it in the first place? Had you mentioned it earlier, given the Crown Prince's fondness for you, he wouldn't have hindered you. On the contrary, he might have assisted you."

Shen He hugged his plush tiger, rolling over and whispering to himself, "That's precisely why I didn't want him to know and didn't want his help."

He didn't want it in the past, and even less so now.

It's so vexing! Ugh!

Shen He forcefully buried his face into the plush tiger's back, attempting to smother his frustrations.

……

That said, Shen He's mentality was still quite positive.

Despite his worries, they didn't overly impede his routine of eating and sleeping.

In the evening, he read his storybooks, but as the hours wore on, he grew drowsy.

He shoved his book under his pillow and succumbed to sleep.

Drifting off, Shen He hazily hoped he wouldn't dream of Qi Zhuoyun tonight.

...On second thought, perhaps just a fleeting dream wouldn't hurt.

They met today, but with Qi Zhuoyun getting busier, Shen He wondered when he would have another chance to see him after moving out of the Eastern Palace.

With these thoughts, Shen He drifted into sleep.

He felt somewhat weak-willed, but dreaming wasn't a crime.

If he had to suppress his feelings in reality and sever his thoughts, couldn't he at least find solace in his dreams?

Moreover, Shen He realized that there were benefits to his frequent dreaming.

For instance, the Qi Zhuoyun in his dreams was becoming more tangible, his kissing skills increasingly proficient.

Occasionally, within these dreams, Shen He would ponder: Can reality even compare to these dreams? He feared he might be smothered to death by a kiss in his sleep or by his own blanket in reality.

*

The dim candlelight cast a quiet glow, with the courtyard silent.

The lone remaining candle was placed at a distance, so its flickering flame wouldn't disturb the sleeping youth.

Qi Zhuoyun stood at the foot of the bed, gently lifting the corner of the canopy to gaze at the figure embraced by blankets in peaceful slumber.

It wasn't just his imagination; the young man had indeed become thinner during their time apart.

The softness of his cheeks had diminished, revealing a more defined jawline, slowly maturing towards young adulthood.

Qi Zhuoyun bent forward, the lifted canopy corner dropping back in place. The brief intrusion of candlelight vanished, and darkness once again enveloped the bed.

Qi Zhuoyun leaned in, with one hand on the bed and the other navigating the gap between the youth's neck and pillow to gently lift his head, biting softly onto his lower lip.

A tender grip, slowly grinding, a faint rebuke escaping from his throat: "Little deceiver."

The youth furrowed his brows in discomfort, but the encroaching shadow swiftly retreated, granting him space to breathe, and his furrowed brows relaxed.

Qi Zhuoyun whispered, "Hehe, your brother will promptly eliminate any obstacles. When the time comes, no one will hinder whatever you desire or wish to do, not Qi Leyong, not even the Emperor."

The information he had ordered to be investigated was now all on his desk.

It's true he hadn't seen Shen He in two days, fearing he couldn't hide his emotions, but that didn't mean he wouldn't intervene in this matter.

Letting the child he nurtured in the capital be bullied was his failure.

Qi Zhuoyun gently caressed the young man's cheek; his dark eyes, seemingly deeper than the surrounding darkness, were filled with intense covetousness.

Qi Zhuoyun thought to himself that his Hehe didn't confide in him not because he didn't want to disturb him, but to give him a reason to reprimand Qi Leyong.

Seeing through this ruse was easy for him, and precisely because he could see through it, his fondness and desire for Shen He magnified limitlessly.

Qi Zhuoyun was truly despicable; despite receiving so much from Shen He, he couldn't offer him the best in return. Driven by his own selfish desires, he wanted to bind Shen He's future to himself forever.

He was destined to inherit a noble title, marry a beautiful lady from a prestigious family, father a brood of adorable children, and achieve great success in the future. A life everyone would envy – one filled with marital bliss and surrounded by loving children. Yet, such a future was snuffed out by his own grotesque greed.

Qi Zhuoyun lay down in his clothes, pulling the young man into his embrace.

Perhaps the embrace was too familiar, the scent too comforting, for the youth showed no signs of waking. He nestled trustingly against the prince, his fingers subconsciously clutching Qi Zhuoyun's robe, depending on him completely.

The prince wrapped his arms around the youth, wishing he could enclose him entirely, as one might a small child. He kissed his forehead, murmuring, "Brother was wrong. Will Hehe forgive brother someday, won't he?"

The deeply sleeping youth naturally offered no response.

*

When Shen He woke, his mouth felt sore.

With bleary eyes, he touched his lips as he sat up, pushing back his tousled hair to ask, "Lianqiao, do I have a heaty constitution? My mouth feels a bit sore."

As he said this, he took a spin around the inner chamber and approached the brass mirror on the shelf. Indeed, his lower lip seemed a tad swollen.

Although it was subtle, any slight swelling on one's lips would be distinctly felt.

Lianqiao did not directly address Shen He's remarks.

Her expression seemed a bit off for some unknown reason.

But when Shen He looked directly at her, he couldn't pinpoint any difference.

After wiping his face with a handkerchief, he peered closely, asking, "Lianqiao, are you troubled or upset about something?"

Why did she look this way?

Lianqiao responded with a nonchalant smile, "Why would the young master ask this? I'm quite fine. What could be bothering me?"

Shen He couldn't put a finger on it, but he felt something was amiss.

Seeing Lianqiao's reluctance to speak, Shen He wandered out, and after breakfast, he discreetly inquired with Zhongyan and He Ling, "Is Lianqiao upset? Does she have any issues? Do you know anything?"

Unfortunately, he couldn't glean any information, uncertain if He Ling and Zhongyan were genuinely unaware or if he had misjudged the situation.

Lianqiao, noticing Shen He's concern, laughed while holding her embroidery frame, "Young master is so considerate. I'm truly grateful. But there's really nothing troubling me. If I must mention a concern, it'd be about the young master's lifelong matters..."

Zhongyan couldn't help but glance at Lianqiao.

Lianqiao pretended not to notice, lowering her gaze to her stitching. As the needle threaded through the pure white silk, she looked up with a teasing smile, "Young master, at your age, surely you've taken a fancy to some young lady? If you delay your marriage proposal any longer, all the eligible young ladies might be taken. What will you do then?"

It was as if she was mocking Shen He.

Shen He swung the brush in his hand and retorted, “No, Lianqiao, there's no maiden I'm fond of. Moreover, I haven't reached the age of adulthood yet, there's no rush for such matters!"

If he had to worry about this now, in a few years, he might as well leave.

Why would he care about daughters of noble families? They had nothing to do with him!

Shen He quickly finished the painting he was working on, placed a paperweight on it, and in a hurried manner, afraid of being further pressured about marriage, declared, "I won't be back for lunch! I'm off to find young Prince Jun!"

He left in such a rush, only leaving behind his fleeting silhouette and the sound of his hurried footsteps.

Lianqiao was left speechless, biting her lower lip, setting down her embroidery hoop. Her fingertips turned white from gripping so hard.

The young master simply didn’t understand what she was trying to say.

If she had known it would come to this, she wouldn't have sheltered him from the world in the past, leaving him so naive and uninformed.

Zhongyan approached cautiously, "Sister Lianqiao, are you..."

"The estate is filled with guards sent by the crown prince. Aren't you afraid he might take offense to what you said about the young master?"

Lianqiao lowered her gaze, picking up her embroidery again. As she stitched, she softly inquired, "What is it?"

In the end, Zhongyan said nothing.

Sister Lianqiao was sympathetic. Hadn't they all watched the young master grow up, feeling uneasy about his future?

But they were just servants. What could they do?

Even if they told the young master, what could he possibly do about it?

The young master trusts the crown prince so deeply; would he ever trust them more than he trusts the prince?

Shen He was oblivious to the dark cloud looming over his residence.

He went to find Qi Yanbing but couldn’t locate him.

It was only upon asking that Shen He discovered Qi Yanbing's elder brother had returned.

Now, there was no escape for Qi Yanbing; he'd surely receive a scolding from his elder brother.

An elder brother more than a decade his senior, in his thirties, was almost no different from a father figure.

Shen He shivered at the thought.

My goodness, how pitiable!

Shen He, along with Liu Zheng and Zheng Xueze, strolled through the streets, observing the various shops and picking up on the latest gossip.

The streets were indeed buzzing with rumors about the Chen Yuejiang siblings.

Especially near tea houses and similar establishments, where people could pause and chat, whispers were inevitable.

Drawn by the aroma of wontons, Shen He's mouth watered. The group approached a small stall and each ordered a bowl. They happily enjoyed their meal while eavesdropping on the juicy stories.

Shen He overheard that Chen Yuesi had been demoted because of his younger brother's actions.

The emperor's health was deteriorating. Matters like these were typically delegated to the crown prince. After being impeached by the imperial censors, Chen Yuesi's position as the Head of the Palace Stables was swiftly removed.

There were also tales about the Chen family's arrogance and oppression of commoners in their hometown.

The more Shen He listened, the more he became indignant, feeling that merely imprisoning Chen Yuejiang was too lenient a punishment!

While he was fuming and Liu Zheng was urging him to focus on his wontons, a probing, unfamiliar male voice asked, "Excuse me, are you Young Master Shen?"