chapter 108

Chapter 108: Do Not Forget Him

Shen He entered the palace very early.

When he woke up, he still felt as if he was in a dream.

It wasn't until he entered the palace and saw Qi Zhuoyun, dressed in imperial robes, walking into the bedroom and changing into regular clothes.

Upon seeing Shen He, a smile welled up in Qi Zhuoyun's eyes. He reached out and said, "He He."

Like a puppy heeding a call, Shen He swiftly rushed towards Qi Zhuoyun, crashing into his embrace.

The impact made Qi Zhuoyun stagger half a step backward. Instinctively, he wrapped his arms around the young man, wanting to lift him up.

He always longed to hold his He He close.

Heaven knows, ever since He He moved out of the Eastern Palace, how he resisted the urge to embrace him throughout the year.

Wishing to hold him close always, to take him everywhere, like when he was a young child.

Sadly, young master Shen had a strong sense of modesty.

With his delicate pride, transitioning to a new intimacy with Qi Zhuoyun, he wasn’t used to the closeness of a romantic relationship, especially in public.

The boy's pale earlobes turned pink, and the hue deepened.

Qi Zhuoyun noticed and, to spare the young man further embarrassment, repressed the urge to lift him.

Gently caressing Shen He’s face, Qi Zhuoyun softly coaxed, "Sit for a while, He He. Tell the palace maid if you want to eat something. I'm going to change."

Shen He nodded, "Alright."

Thinking to himself, why couldn’t he accompany him during the change? It's not like he hasn't seen it before.

Why so formal?

Heh heh.

Even though he was eager inside, young master Shen was rather timid in action. When Qi Zhuoyun asked him to wait outside, he obediently did, resting his chin on his hands, curiously examining this unfamiliar place.

It was indeed much grander than the Eastern Palace – befitting for an emperor.

Everything looked opulent; even casually placed items seemed incredibly valuable.

Shen He observed the area as if appraising his new territory, and he was pleased with what he saw.

A palace maid went to the imperial kitchen to relay Shen He’s food and dessert preferences.

Shen He, recalling the master chef from the Eastern Palace he had been yearning for, asked with sparkling eyes, "Can the master chef from the Eastern Palace come to the imperial kitchen?"

The Eastern Palace is currently vacant. Could the master chef leave the palace and accompany him instead?

The more Shen He thought about it, the more appealing it seemed. He decided to play up his charm later, hoping to persuade Qi Zhuoyun to let the master chef be with him!

Lost in his delightful thoughts while sitting cross-legged on a small couch, with his hands resting on his knees and eyes beaming with joy, he heard Qi Zhuoyun murmur, "Everyone, leave."

The palace attendants responded in unison, "Yes," and began to exit the hall. Zhong Hong, leading the way out, closed the doors with a smile.

Shen He: "??"

Wait a minute! Why are you shutting the door? It's broad daylight, and it's just the two of us here! This isn't proper!

Before young master Shen could complete his train of thought, he was suddenly lifted from behind and pulled into a familiar embrace.

Qi Zhuoyun took Shen He's previous spot and made him sit face-to-face on his lap, his hands cradling Shen He's waist.

Then, without any warning, a kiss descended.

Landing on the tip of Shen He’s nose.

The laughter in Shen He's eyes was replaced with surprise. He instinctively leaned back, but being on Qi Zhuoyun's lap and held in place, there was no escaping.

The kiss moved lower, aiming for those pale pink lips, intent on turning them a brighter shade of red, as if painted with lipstick.

Shen He gradually became accustomed to such intimacy, truly feeling the change in their relationship.

They had truly become lovers, exchanging kisses and shared affection. They would be companions for life, as beloveds.

One of the hands that cradled his waist slowly moved upward to rest on the nape of his neck, thumb caressing the soft skin, marking it with a blush.

Shen He had never realized that the back of his neck could be so sensitive.

His whole body quivered slightly, a tingling sensation spreading from his neck down his spine. The sensation made his body tense involuntarily, his hands grasping the front of Qi Zhuoyun's clothes, passively accepting the overwhelming intimacy.

Shen He felt slightly breathless.

He felt a bit like he had consumed too much wine or perhaps experienced heatstroke, with his mind completely dazed, allowing himself to be passively led.

Subconsciously, Shen He thought, August really is hot.

So many things have happened this year, leaving no time for a summer retreat at the villa. Otherwise, my mind wouldn't feel so overheated.

Until, by his ear, he heard a slightly raspy yet tender voice, "Breathe, He He."

The hand that had been caressing his neck gripped him gently. Under its firm hold, Shen He's senses returned, and he gasped for air.

His eyes reddened, a faint mist forming from the intensity of their intimacy.

But his body seemed to acclimate faster than his mind, easily adapting to the sensation.

Oddly, it felt as if they had kissed countless times before.

And Qi Zhuoyun seemed so practiced.

Shen He's thoughts wandered in myriad directions.

He failed to notice the man holding him, whose dark eyes harbored a profound desire, as deep and scorching as molten lava, threatening to melt the young man he cherished.

Qi Zhuoyun's Adam's apple bobbed, he gently kissed the blushing young man's cheek, and asked, "Do you like this, He He?"

Shen He's attention was finally brought back to the present.

Sitting on Qi Zhuoyun's lap, even elevated, he couldn't look down on him, only eye-to-eye.

Shen He murmured, "Mmm... It's... it's okay."

As he spoke, his gaze darted around, and he couldn't help but lick his lips, feeling their strange swollenness.

Could it be Qi Zhuoyun's kiss that made them so?

Thanks to his past life's experience as a recluse, young master Shen’s mind rapidly conjured numerous logical and illogical explanations. He dared not meet Qi Zhuoyun's gaze, and his ears turned a deep shade of red, as if they might bleed.

In Qi Zhuoyun's heart, he realized that while desiring what you can't have is hard, the challenge of restraint when what you want is within grasp is even greater.

Greed always asks for more.

His dark eyes fixed on the young master Shen, noticing the lad’s gaze flying everywhere, avoiding him. Shen's demeanor screamed embarrassment, as if he wished to wrap himself in a blanket to hide from the world, making Qi Zhuoyun desire to push boundaries.

Yet, at that moment, the emperor's boundaries for Shen He rose, becoming sturdier and seemingly unbreakable.

Restrained in his affections, he gazed tenderly at the young man, not teasing or provoking when he was flustered, but silently waiting for him to adjust to this newfound closeness.

He tenderly comforted Shen He, with his palm gently patting the young man's lower back, whispering, "There's no need to be shy, He He. Such intimacies are natural between lovers. If you're unsure, I can teach you, step by step."

Qi Zhuo Yun scrutinized the young man's expression, noticing his embarrassment seemed to subside, growing much calmer. With a smirk, he teased, "So, Lord He, do you like it or not? Do you feel forced or perhaps think I'm not doing it right? Please enlighten me."

Shen He grew restless.

The jumbled thoughts in his head were ruthlessly cast away!

Shen He glared at Qi Zhuo Yun, indignantly saying, "Have you no shame? In broad daylight!"

Qi Zhuo Yun, feeling falsely accused, retorted, "It's daytime, but the doors and windows are shut. Besides, I only kissed you. I did nothing else."

Shen He couldn't bear it. Pushing Qi Zhuo Yun, he tried to jump off his lap, sternly declaring, "You're an emperor. Shouldn't you be attending to your duties? There are so many petitions waiting for you! If you don't address them, how will the officials work? Enough of this, attend to your duties!"

Young Master Shen tried to criticize Qi Zhuo Yun from a moral high ground.

However, Qi Zhuo Yun was shamelessly thick-skinned. Isn't it said that those who play politics have tainted hearts?

He chuckled and remarked, "Even emperors can be negligent. If I neglect my duties, it's because Lord He won't give an answer."

Shen He felt heat engulfing his body, as if he were sweating, feeling increasingly uncomfortable being so close to Qi Zhuo Yun.

He refused to respond, using all his might but only managing to make himself look disheveled, unable to escape from Qi Zhuo Yun.

Shen He angrily spat, "What did you eat to have such strength?"

Damn it!

Qi Zhuo Yun cold-heartedly replied, "I ate from the same pot as Lord He. But while you indulge in sweet nothings, now you blame your faithful advisor. How unjust I feel."

Shen He: "..."

Personal attacks, huh? Bringing up past grudges, huh? Acting all high and mighty, huh?

With unexpected courage, Shen He forcefully pushed Qi Zhuo Yun back onto a couch.

Caught off guard, Qi Zhuo Yun had been bracing for Shen He to struggle backward. He hadn't expected him to push both of them down, ending up on the couch.

Shen He moved quickly, not giving Qi Zhuo Yun a chance to react. He propped himself up a bit on the couch and sat on Qi Zhuo Yun's waist, preventing him from rising. Holding onto Qi Zhuo Yun's clothes, he lowered his head, saying, "Your kisses are mediocre. Maybe I should be the one teaching you."

He then leaned down, biting Qi Zhuo Yun's lips, and kissed him recklessly, reminiscent of a puppy's sloppy licks.

His actions lacked finesse; it was a purely impulsive move driven by heated emotions.

There was also an element of seduction involved.

Qi Zhuo Yun was undeniably handsome. As he leaned against the couch, attempting to rise, his disheveled clothing was a testament to Shen He's antics. Yet, even in his astonishment, his gaze was filled with a gentle smile and boundless indulgence, as if Shen He could do no wrong and he'd always greet him with a chuckle.

Shen He's heart raced, the throbbing loud in his ears. After nipping Qi Zhuo Yun's lower lip, he felt a surge of excitement, as if he had achieved something monumental. His entire body heated up, his heart pumping faster, seemingly ready to produce steam from the top of his head.

He quickly withdrew, seizing the moment of Qi Zhuo Yun's shock. Climbing off him, he darted to the door, pausing to smooth his clothes and face before flinging it open and shouting to the people outside, "Zhong Hong! It's so hot! Bring in two more basins of ice!"

Qi Zhuo Yun, who had been pushed onto the couch, sat up and touched his slightly sore lip where Shen He had bitten. Adjusting his robe nonchalantly, he rose, concealing any hint of his desires.

Seeing him stand, Shen He, assuming Qi Zhuo Yun was preparing for a counterattack, scampered off like a thief.

His light footsteps suggested he was searching for Zhong Hong and the promised ice.

Qi Zhuo Yun took a deep breath, realizing for the first time just how intolerably hot the summer in the capital could be.

Even the incessant chirping of cicadas outside seemed unusually grating.

……

By the time the fleeing Young Master Shen returned, the young emperor had assumed his regal demeanor, engrossed in reading petitions.

His eyes were downcast, his lips slightly redder than usual, exuding less of the usual cold and lofty air, and appearing far more approachable, hardly like an emperor.

Shen He settled by the ice basin, grateful for its proximity to the couch. The cool emanation from the ice calmed the heat inside him, clarifying his thoughts.

Only then did Shen He take a seat at the other end of the couch.

He glanced at Qi Zhuo Yun, engrossed in the petitions. After a brief look, he turned his attention to a collection of books that Zhong Hong had thoughtfully prepared.

Several of them were new novels that Shen He hadn't had a chance to read due to his recent escape plans.

He picked one up and became engrossed, and soon, biting his lip, let out a few suppressed chuckles.

This earned him a glance from Qi Zhuo Yun.

Qi Zhuo Yun, lips curved, continued making notes with a red pen. After finishing a report, he looked up with a deep voice, asking, "He He, there are many matters you haven't discussed with me yet."

Shen He: "?" He perked up his ears.

What's going on? Another trap in the making?

Shen He was well-acquainted with Qi Zhuo Yun's tactics: always posing vague questions, never clarifying his own inquiries, making one feel guilty and leading them to spill all the details.

Shen He had fallen for this trick one too many times; he wasn't going to fall for it again.

Does he think I'm still a child?!

Playing dumb, he responded, "What are you talking about, brother?"

He then turned a page of the novel he was reading, pretending to be engrossed, acting as if he didn't have the time to listen to Qi Zhuo Yun.

Qi Zhuo Yun asked, "Tell me, when did young master Shen develop feelings for someone? When did he plan to travel to Jiangnan? And what kind of man from Jiangnan has he taken a liking to, intending to bring him back as his spouse?"

Shen He thought: Is he... jealous?

Tsk tsk tsk, pretending to be unfazed while concentrating on his paperwork, thinking I wouldn't notice!

With glee, Shen He defended himself, "Nonsense! How would I know what kinds of men are in Jiangnan? Besides, I'm also unaware when my brother found someone he cherishes."

As Shen He spoke, an idea sparked in his eyes. He put down his book, tossing it into a corner of the couch. Rummaging through his pocket, he pulled out a little tiger figurine, "Brother! I found this under my bed!"

Shen He pondered the entire way, unable to figure out how Qi Zhuo Yun's toy ended up under his bed.

Clearly, since moving out of the East Palace, Qi Zhuo Yun had been incredibly busy, and they hadn't seen much of each other.

Shen He wasn't a fool. On the contrary, once he had a hunch, he could connect the dots pretty quickly.

He remembered the dreams he often had, where Qi Zhuo Yun was always kissing him. He thought of the faint sweetness in his mouth and the occasional odd looks from Lian Qiao and Zhong Yan.

Previously, he hadn't dwelled on it, assuming Qi Zhuo Yun was straight and would never entertain such peculiar notions.

Now, linking all these doubts, Shen He felt many things seemed off.

He even began to question if Qi Zhuo Yun was genuinely drunk or just pretending that one time two years ago when he had poked Shen He.

However, Shen He wasn't entirely certain.

If Qi Zhuo Yun had feelings for him that early on, doesn't that mean he's harbored a secret crush for quite a while?

Such a thought felt somewhat self-aggrandizing. Shen He, valuing his humility, felt slightly embarrassed by it.

Qi Zhuo Yun's pupils slightly contracted.

However, Shen He didn't notice.

Qi Zhuo Yun never expected the lost plush toy to end up with Shen He.

Qi Zhuo Yun observed the young man's radiant eyes and his triumphant expression.

He didn't appear fearful, but rather as if he'd secured some form of evidence, eager to prove a point, never delving deep into its implications.

Instead of taking the small tiger, Qi Zhuo Yun looked at it for a while, then said, "In that case, gift it to He He."

Shen He assessed Qi Zhuo Yun's expression.

Circling the table, he moved closer to Qi Zhuo Yun from the inside, lowered his head, and attached the small tiger toy to the spot where Qi Zhuo Yun typically wore accessories, focusing intently on tying it, "Then, I'm gifting it to brother now."

After securing it, the young master Shen stepped back, patted it with satisfaction, seeing nothing wrong with an emperor having a round plush tiger toy hanging by his waist.

Shen He didn't feel like pressing further.

Seeing Qi Zhuo Yun's expression, he was reminded of his own feelings before leaving, thinking his first love was utterly doomed, and the heart-wrenching pain that accompanied it.

Unrequited love is a challenging experience.

Qi Zhuo Yun probably didn't wish to disclose it to him, much like how Shen He wasn't eager to reveal how many tears he had secretly shed, or how sorrowful his dreams had been.

He scooted up, picking up the novel from the corner, then returned to sit by Qi Zhuo Yun's side, leaning against him and immersing himself in the book.

Occasionally, he'd chuckle, appearing genuinely delighted.

Hearing the laughter next to him, the corners of Qi Zhuo Yun's lips naturally curled into a smile as he continued his work.

It felt as if something had changed, yet so much remained the same as before.

They were still each other's closest confidants.

But from brothers, they've become lovers.

Since then, Shen He visited the palace almost daily.

After running back and forth four or five times, he began to wear a mask of pain.

Waking up at the crack of dawn and traveling to the palace by carriage was absolutely draining.

This should have been the age for him to retire. Why is he living as if he's still working?

But young Master Shen didn't have the courage to spend the night within the palace.

Not only did he fear unforeseen events, but if his family found out and questioned him, Shen He might inadvertently reveal the truth.

He didn't have to worry about Qi Zhuoyun, though. After all, when they came out together, it became known that his secret love was none other than Qi Zhuoyun himself.

That man was hardly a competent guardian; he was like a guard who robs the place he's supposed to protect.

Yet, his grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins were all unaware of this.

Coming out was always a dilemma.

Layering the dilemma of coming out with the challenge of young love, and perhaps even a slight deviation from societal norms...

Shen He pondered; this couldn't really be considered premature love. He could dismiss that obstacle.

But the situation hadn't improved much.

Qi Zhuoyun seemed completely fearless.

As a result, young Master Shen began to feel an inexplicable frustration.

Arms folded, he watched Qi Zhuoyun conduct official affairs, "Why aren't you afraid? Is it because you're the emperor and believe you can suppress others with your power?"

As the saying goes, an emperor's order is hard to resist.

If Qi Zhuoyun pulled rank as the emperor, who would dare refuse him?

Qi Zhuoyun, looking rather helpless, set aside the official document he was reviewing. He decisively pulled Shen He into his embrace, leaning his head on Shen He's shoulder. As he continued reviewing documents in this intimate position, he occasionally kissed Shen He's earlobe, "In what capacity do you want to think of me, Hehe?"

In Shen He's mind, the answer was clear. Obviously, as a boyfriend.

He pouted, humming with a hint of petulance, signaling Qi Zhuoyun to understand.

Thankfully, the emperor was incredibly astute. He had raised this affectionate, occasionally scratchy cat from a young age and knew his temperament inside out. Just a simple hum was enough for him to grasp the meaning.

Qi Zhuoyun raised a hand, pinching Shen He's lips gently, "Then, brother is your fiancé, bound to you for life. When the time is right, as your future son-in-law, it'll be my duty to formally meet and apologize to everyone."

Shen He: "..."

He brushed Qi Zhuoyun's hand away, mumbling, "There's no need for such a formal apology..." That said, since when did "son-in-law" become such a strange title?

Shen He's anxiety about coming out lessened just a bit.

After all, it was a situation without alternatives.

As he reached for his book to continue reading, Qi Zhuoyun tenderly stroked his hair, asking, "Hehe, why not move back to the Eastern Palace? After brother finishes with court affairs, I can come to the Eastern Palace to see you, just like before. Would that be alright?"

There was no crown prince in the Eastern Palace, and no one else in the inner palace. Where the emperor spent his nights made little difference in reality.

At most, some officials might grumble and gossip during court sessions.

His fingertips brushed through the soft black strands in his hand. After contemplating for a while, the man in his embrace replied, "I suppose that could work."

Qi Zhuoyun's face lit up with a smile, turning to command Zhong Hong, "Arrange for Lianqiao and Zhong Yan to pack up Hehe's belongings and ensure nothing is left behind."

Shen He: "Hold on, if I move back to the Eastern Palace, what do I tell my aunt and cousins if they ask?"

With the crown prince now the emperor, wouldn't living in the Eastern Palace be overstepping boundaries?

He was willing to stay but didn't want to be chased and reprimanded by officials when he ventured out.

Qi Zhuoyun assured, "It's alright, brother will handle it. As long as Hehe is happy, these matters are trivial."

"Really?" Shen He was skeptical.

Qi Zhuoyun questioned, "Don't you trust brother?"

Instantly, Shen He felt reassured!

Qi Zhuoyun was the most capable! There was nothing in the world he couldn't handle!

Yet, Shen He still harbored a tiny bit of concern.

He was anxious about the events of the rebellion after Qi Zhuoyun ascended to the throne.

Especially the end of the rebellion, which dictated his tragic fate.

Shen He remained silent, feeling it unnecessary to voice his concerns.

How could Qi Zhuoyun ever harm him?

If his fate followed the original narrative, leading to such a conclusion, then it was a force of destiny he couldn't resist no matter how hard he struggled.

Knowing this, it was better to remain silent than to dwell on what might never be, only adding to the worry.

Shen He kept his head down, treating these moments as if they were his last.

If he managed to survive, it would be a blessing.

However, if, by chance, he did not make it,

He hoped Qi Zhuoyun wouldn't forget him. At the very least, not too quickly.