Chapter 75: I Miss You

Chapter 75: I Miss You

"Cough, cough..."

Le Yan coughed twice, trying to get Yi Yang's attention. But it was in vain; Yi Yang was engrossed in his phone, looking busy, perhaps not even hearing the coughs.

Le Yan was about to cough again, but Guangguang beat him to it, now wanting to eat an orange instead of chips.

Yi Yang heard this, reached for an orange, and began peeling it. Le Yan's heart felt pierced by this action. He gazed downcast at the peeled orange and the man peeling it.

Without comparison, there would be no hurt. Before, even a sneeze from Le Yan would concern Yi Yang, but now he was completely ignored. Le Yan lowered his legs from the couch and silently returned to his room.

After feeling stuffy from sleeping too long, Le Yan thought about visiting his sister-in-law this weekend and asking her why his heart felt so sour.

The rabbit got up, changed into clothes for going out, and when he came out of his room, he found the two in the living room getting along harmoniously, chatting and laughing, with Yi Yang even smiling.

Le Yan approached, sat for half a minute, and said, "Yi Yang, I'm going out for a bit."

"Now?" Yi Yang glanced at the time, it was almost 3:30 PM. He asked, "Will you be back for dinner?"

"Ah?" The rabbit's eyes flickered, avoiding his gaze, and shook his head, "No, I won’t be back for dinner."

Yi Yang's question was whether he would return for lunch, not where he was going. Since Yi Yang was enjoying his time with Guangguang, he no longer seemed concerned about where Le Yan was going or what he would be doing.

"Do you want me to drive you?" Yi Yang asked again.

"No need." Le Yan, without saying more, walked towards the door with his phone, taking his time to put on his shoes because he couldn't tie the laces himself. Without Yi Yang's help, he could only tie dead knots.

Yi Yang had said he would always help him with it...

In the arena of emotions, the dwarf rabbit was utterly defeated.

Le Yan tied a tight knot and left. Being distracted, he waited over ten minutes for the taxi and nearly cried when he finally met his sister-in-law.

Yan Jinjin was coincidentally shopping, carrying several bags, and even brought Le Yan a small cake from March Bridge. She opened it in front of Le Yan, "What's wrong, my pretty, don't tell me you missed me so much you cried. I won't believe it."

Le Yan shook his head, took a deep breath, and patted his stuffy chest, "Sister Jinjin, my heart feels really uncomfortable. What does this usually mean?"

"Your heart? Uncomfortable?" Yan Jinjin frowned, "Have you seen a doctor?"

"Not yet, it’s just been these past few days."

"Let's go, I’ll accompany you to the hospital now. Heart problems are no small matter; don’t delay it," Yan Jinjin decided to call the waiter over to cancel the order she had just placed.

Le Yan shook his head, "I don't think it's a physical illness."

"Then what is it?" Yan Jinjin was about to call a car, put down her phone, and asked, "Tell me, under what circumstances do you feel uncomfortable? Like when talking, laughing, or during intense exercise?"

"No," Le Yan placed his phone on the round table, looking at his once favorite cake but without any appetite, he said, "Sister Jinjin, there's an additional person in my home. My husband is very kind to him, and I can't join their conversation or fit in, feeling invisible. My heart feels uncomfortable at these times..."

Le Yan was embarrassed to admit that he felt Guangguang had taken Yi Yang away from him, fearing it would make him seem petty...

"Are you jealous?" Yan Jinjin finally exhaled in relief, realizing that it wasn't a physical ailment. But her relief lasted only three seconds before reacting to Le Yan's words, surprised, "You said there's an extra person in your house? Who?"

"It's just..." Le Yan couldn't reveal the lop-eared rabbit, so he vaguely referred to it as, "A friend."

"What's the situation now? Tell me everything," Yan Jinjin pressed, her brows furrowed throughout, especially when Le Yan detailed the situation, her grip on her glass of drink tightening.

After Le Yan finished explaining, he asked, "Is this jealousy? What's the standard for jealousy? Does it make me seem petty?"

"It depends on the context," Yan Jinjin clicked her tongue, "Le Yan, does your husband really only have eyes for him?"

"Yes, it's been like that these past few days because his hand is broken..." Le Yan clutched the water glass in front of him, "My heart feels stuffy, so it's jealousy causing this..."

But even before, Yi Yang was never this inconsiderate!

"His hand is broken, not both hands. What does feeding him mean? Men are all bastards!" Yan Jinjin cursed under her breath, "There's nothing to be upset about. Such a lousy man is not worth it, the next one will be better."

"Yi Yang isn't bad..." Le Yan said softly, as Yan Jinjin looked really angry and called Le Yan love-struck.

Yan Jinjin took a big gulp of her juice and slammed the glass on the table, "Le Yan, let me tell you, with such people, if there's a first time, there will be a second. And he's brazenly flirting with someone else right in front of you, a total scumbag!"

"But he said we are family, the ones who can't be separated."

"Bullshit!" Yan Jinjin snorted, "Le Yan, when a man loves you, you're his everything. But once he stops loving you, you're nothing but worthless to him!"

Le Yan had been holding back tears, but as the conversation continued, the more he understood, the more his heart ached, so much so that he couldn't breathe. Overwhelmed with grievance, his tears flowed freely.

"Don't cry, it's not worth it, there's nothing to cry about. Just let it go," Yan Jinjin said, offering him a tissue from her bag.

"Sister Jinjin, when I left the house, he didn't even acknowledge me. It's really like you said, he wants me to leave..." Le Yan bit his lip hard, tears flowing more than ever.

This feeling was unfamiliar, a sudden emptiness engulfed by gloom.

Le Yan said, "I've learned how to love, and I've worked hard to understand the meaning of affection. I treated him as family, as a lover, but... but I never thought about what to do if he doesn't want me anymore..." The rabbit choked back his sobs, trying to calm down, "People change, he told me, everyone changes."

Something crossed Yan Jinjin's mind, her eyes suddenly brimming with tears. She wiped them silently and exhaled, "So we need to change too, right? We can't just stand still, trapped in a whirlpool of self-blame, can we?"

"Yeah." Le Yan quickly wiped his tears away. Strangely, after holding back his tears for a while, his heart felt somewhat lighter.

He picked up a small spoon from the table, scooped up a spoonful of cake loaded with cream, and continued to eat and cry, mentioning that Yi Yang used to buy him this cake often. Yan Jinjin, hearing this, scoffed and teased him for being lovesick.

After finishing the cake, Yan Jinjin took him to a gay bar to broaden his horizons. Le Yan wanted to leave as soon as he entered, the scent was overwhelming for his sensitive nose, unable to tolerate the complex mixture of perfumes.

But not wanting to disappoint Sister Jinjin, Le Yan obediently sat inside, chatting and adding WeChat contacts with at least a dozen people.

"Sister Jinjin, I should go home now."

Opening his phone, Le Yan saw a message from Yi Yang asking where he was. He replied and then left to escort Yan Jinjin to a taxi first.

Once the bravado passed, Le Yan felt sad again. Crossing the zebra crossing, he stopped under a bus stop sign and pulled out his phone again. The WeChat message read: "I'll be back soon."

Staring blankly at these words, ten minutes had passed, and Yi Yang hadn't replied. The rabbit wasn't sure whom he was upset with, silently thinking, if Yi Yang doesn't reply, he won't go back.

One minute, two minutes, ten minutes, half an hour, two hours... Le Yan walked back and forth on the sidewalk, but still no response from Yi Yang.

Le Yan hailed a taxi and politely said, "Yin Ge Mountain."

"Yin Ge Mountain?" The driver hesitated, it was late, and the route passed by the old bus station's newly built crematorium, plus there had been several deaths on that mountain, making him reluctant.

"How much? You name the price," Le Yan sensed his hesitation.

"At least a hundred, otherwise I won't go," the driver raised the fare, expecting Le Yan to find it too expensive and get out, but Le Yan didn't...

The driver added, “I need the payment upfront for this trip.”

Le Yan transferred a hundred yuan via a mobile payment, and the driver, albeit reluctantly, proceeded. However, the driver was genuinely timid; he had to return after dropping off Le Yan, and it would be nearly midnight, quite frightening.

The driver coughed and hesitated for a long time before stopping midway, “I'm out of fuel. There’s a gas station ahead. Wait here for me, I’ll come back to pick you up after refueling.”

Le Yan had never encountered such a situation before. After getting out of the taxi and fastening his seatbelt, he stood in the cold wind for half an hour, but the taxi driver never returned.

Yi Yang was ignoring him, and now the driver didn’t want to deal with him either…

In a daze, Le Yan recalled the night he went up the mountain to find the envelope, reciting the criminal code as he walked. Now, he did the same, heading up the mountain, reciting law after law, from criminal to civil. By the time he reached the summit, Le Yan’s legs were trembling.

The mountaintop was no longer as it once was. The large crater created by the explosion had been filled in. Le Yan could only rely on his vague sense of direction to find the approximate location of the laboratory, then knelt on the damp, exposed yellow clay.

"Professor Shen..." With these three words, Le Yan's eyes welled up, struggling to hold back his downturned lips, "I miss you so much."

Due to the extensive leakage and contamination of experimental reagents, no living creatures remained in the area. The leaves were withered and yellow, and the wind sounded mournful.

Thus, Le Yan's choked sobs became even more distinct. Though no one was listening, he still restrained himself from crying out loud.

"The day I came down the mountain, I successfully found the home you left for me. Everything was new and beautiful. My favorite was the book on the shelf with your signature. I've copied it repeatedly and learned your handwriting."

"My first time shopping, speaking to people, having friends... everything went smoothly. I also learned to cook, got a job, commuted by subway. I know when to cry and when to laugh. I'm proud... proud to live as you hoped I would."

"Professor Shen, I'm very sad now..."

"I thought if I understood enough, I could handle the human world easily. But Professor Shen, I can't manage alone. The more I understand, the easier it is to get upset. I'm becoming more complex and can't manage alone..." Le Yan clenched his fist and pounded it on his chest, the sour, painful, stifling sensation making his throat ache intensely.

He said, "All rabbits turned human can be called Le Yan, but I am R133, only I am R133..."

"If I weren't here..."

"Are you still there, Professor?"

"I miss you so much."

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Rabbit: "Professor Shen was the person who stood between me and death."