Chapter 58: Departure

Chapter 58: Departure

That night, Yun He came down with a fever, something he hadn't experienced in a long time. He was delirious throughout the night, feeling as though he had many dreams. In his dreams, Zheng Han was smiling at him, and Gu Jiabei was also smiling at him. Later, Zheng Han was lying in a pool of blood. When he approached, Zheng Han's face transformed into Gu Jiabei's face.

Yun He jolted awake from a scream, his forehead drenched in cold sweat. He panted heavily, the image of Gu Jiabei lying lifeless in a pool of blood still haunting his vision.

"Goodness! You're finally awake. What happened to you? Were you having a nightmare? You had a fever last night, did you know that? And what's with the bruise on your lips and body? Did you get into a fight with someone?" Cai Mingzhi rushed into the bedroom from the kitchen upon hearing her son's scream, looking at Yun He with concern and gently feeling his forehead for any sign of heat.

"Mother..." Yun He's voice croaked out like a dried-up branch, strained and brittle. He struggled to swallow his saliva.

"Here, have some water first." Cai Mingzhi picked up the glass from the bedside table and offered it to Yun He.

Yun He grabbed the glass and drank greedily.

"Son, what happened? Did you get into a fight with your classmates?" Cai Mingzhi sat on Yun He's bed, deeply concerned.

"It's nothing..." Yun He was weak, and he lay back down on the bed, feeling severely dizzy.

"How can it be nothing? Why did you come home in such a heavy rain last night, drenched through, and where did these bruises on your body come from? Are you being bullied at school? You have to tell me." Cai Mingzhi was nearly frantic. "You've never fought before. What on earth happened?"

"It's okay, Mom... I just had a slight disagreement with a classmate. It's nothing serious... Boys will be boys, and I fought back too. Really, it's no big deal."

"But you've always been such a good boy, never getting into fights. You're so afraid of pain, how could you have done that?!"

"Mom, I'm not as well-behaved as you think..." Yun He smiled bitterly.

"No way, Mom needs to talk to your homeroom teacher and find out who those kids are that hurt you!" Cai Mingzhi was about to get up.

Yun He quickly held her hand. "Mom, please don't go. I'm really fine! The teacher has already scolded us. Wouldn't it just cause more trouble if you went now? I promise it won't happen again, okay? Mom, I'm really suffering right now. Please, let me rest for a bit longer."

Cai Mingzhi looked at her son and sighed before sitting back down beside his bed. She spoke earnestly, "Son, be honest with Mom. Are you in love? Mom has been through this before. You were crying all night after falling asleep. Did you break up?"

Yun He's defenses crumbled at Cai Mingzhi's words, and his eyes instantly reddened.

Cai Mingzhi understood everything.

"Son, it's not a big deal. First love rarely works out. You're still young, and this is your first experience with such emotions. It might feel like the end of the world when it ends, but that's normal. When you grow up and look back on these things, you might realize how naive you were back then."

"Will I?" Yun He turned his head away, not wanting his mother to see the tears rolling down his cheek.

"Certainly, especially when you encounter the person you truly love. You'll look back on your past self and think how utterly childish you were," Cai Mingzhi playfully tousled his son's hair. "Ask your father if you don't believe me. If he reflects on the passionate vows he made to his first love, he might find them both sour and amusing now."

Yun He nodded, hoping that the future would come swiftly. Then he wouldn't be trapped in this overwhelming sorrow as he is now. But what if he never meets someone he likes more? What if Gu Jiabei turns out to be the one he loves the most in his entire life?

"Rest well, darling. Mom has taken the day off for you." Cai Mingzhi looked at her son with affection and said, "I won't go to the shop today either. If there's anything you feel like eating, just tell Mom, and I'll cook it for you. Be a good boy, okay?"

Yun He nodded and closed his eyes.

Later, Yun He asked Cai Mingzhi to extend his leave for a few more days. Firstly, the bruises on his face had not completely faded, and secondly, he was actually quite afraid of stepping into the campus, as it would remind him of Zheng Han.

One morning, Yun He woke up early and found himself unable to sleep. He walked to the window and discovered that the entire city was shrouded in a thick fog, obscuring everything in sight with its milky veil. He felt like a wanderer lost in the mist, unable to discern direction or find his path. In that moment, he was overwhelmed with a sudden longing for Gu Jiabei. Though they had severed all contact, for some reason, as he stood by the window gazing at the pervasive fog, only Gu Jiabei occupied his thoughts.

Yun He covered his heart, where a bitter sensation caused his tears to flow uncontrollably once more.

Upon returning to school, Yun He discovered that the incident involving Zheng Han had been suppressed by the school authorities. Among the students, there were many versions of the story circulating. Some said that Zheng Han had transferred schools and left the city, others suggested that Zheng Han had fallen into depression and was confined at home, and there were even rumors that Zheng Han had committed suicide by jumping off a building. There were various rumors, versions, and speculations, all intermingling with truth and falsehood, reality and fiction.

The seat beside Yun He remained empty throughout his academic years until he graduated. No other classmate ever occupied that spot.

During that period, Yun He lived in a daze, avoiding thoughts that might cause him pain. Each day, he would bury himself in the classroom, frantically solving problems, hoping that these exercises would occupy every corner of his mind so he wouldn't have any spare energy to dwell on the things he dared not face.

Until one day, during class, Lin Yong sent him a message.

"Yun-ge, I heard that the demolition has officially begun in your neighborhood today. You're finally going to become a second-generation demolisher."

Recently, Lin Yong has been sending Yun He some playful messages every now and then, because he is one of the few who knows the truth about Zheng Han. He noticed that Yun He has been in a very poor mood, and he realized that it has been a long time since he last saw Gu Jiabei. Every time he asked a joke or inquired about where Gu Jiabei had gone, Yun He's expression would become very ugly. Gradually, Lin Yong stopped asking, and occasionally he would send some witty remarks to cheer Yun He up, hoping to make him feel a bit happier.

Yun He gazed at the message, contemplating how the place he had called home since childhood was about to be demolished. All the traces of his upbringing and the shared memories with Gu Jiabei would soon vanish...

Yun He unexpectedly rose from his seat, causing the teacher standing at the lectern to pause with chalk in hand, gazing at him. "What's the matter?"

"Teacher, I need to take leave and go home," Yun He declared firmly.

"Is there something going on at home?" the teacher asked.

"Mm-hm, it's rather urgent," Yun He replied.

"Alright then, go ahead. After you get home, ask your parent to give the school a call to ensure your safety," the teacher instructed.

"Thank you, Teacher," Yun He said, not even bothering to grab his backpack before swiftly departing amidst his classmates' gazes.

Exiting the school gates, Yun He dashed in the direction of his home. He was running so hastily that he couldn't avoid a person coming from the opposite side, colliding with him head-on.

"Ouch, geez..." The person he bumped into clutched his chest and exclaimed, "Yun He?"

"Li Shang?" Yun He realized then that he had run into Gu Jiabei's classmate.

"It's lesson time, right? Why are you here?" Li Shang looked at Yun He in confusion, then suddenly realized something, "Oh, just like me, skipping class to go online, I presume?"

"No, I have something to attend to at home," Yun He replied, somewhat anxious, fearing that the demolition might have already started. He lifted his leg, ready to leave.

"Wait a minute," Li Shang called out to stop Yun He, "What's the deal with Gu Jiabei?"

Yun He paused, retracting his leg, and stared at Li Shang, asking, "What do you mean?"

"It's about Gu Jiabei. Why did he suddenly stop coming to school? The teacher said he transferred, but he never mentioned it to us. Now, he's nowhere to be found, and his phone is unreachable. What's going on?"

"His phone is unreachable?..."

"Yes, it's as if he's vanished off the face of the earth. We can't locate him anywhere," Li Shang explained. "Weren't you two quite close? Why would he suddenly transfer schools? Where did he go, and what about his phone?"

"I'm not sure... I have something to attend to, so I'll be going now." Yun He left without giving Li Shang the chance to stop him.

Had Gu Jiabei really transferred schools? Had he truly left?...

Although Yun He had known that he wouldn't stay forever, it happened much sooner than expected. He had thought Gu Jiabei would at least finish the semester before departing.

Moreover, between them... there had been no farewell...

Yun He started running, attempting to outrun the ceaseless thoughts about Gu Jiabei flooding his mind. When he arrived at the neighborhood where he had grown up, every familiar sight triggered memories of Gu Jiabei.

Gu Jiabei leaning against his bicycle with one long leg, grinning at him.

Gu Jiabei holding his hand as they climbed the dimly lit stairwell.

Gu Jiabei embracing him under the streetlight.

Gu Jiabei lifting his hoodie to kiss him beneath the basketball hoop.

Gu Jiabei's smile, his frown, his expressionless face!

Everywhere he looked, Gu Jiabei's image appeared before him!

Yun He felt as if he was going insane with his longing for Gu Jiabei. He wandered aimlessly, hoping to somehow stumble upon Gu Jiabei in the process.

Eventually, someone from the construction crew asked him to leave the area.

In a daze, Yun He wandered without direction, and before he knew it, he found himself standing in front of the door of the last apartment where Gu Jiabei had lived.

Staring blankly at the entrance, Yun He imagined Gu Jiabei standing behind the door, just as he always did when Yun He knocked.

With a slightly trembling hand, he raised it to knock – but before he could make contact, the door opened from inside. For a fleeting moment, a surge of exhilaration, joy, and hope filled Yun He's heart.

"Who are you looking for?" A middle-aged woman answered the door, her face puzzled as she gazed at Yun He.

The joy in Yun He's heart dissipated instantly.

"I...," Yun He nervously licked his lips. "Hello, may I ask where the family who used to live here has gone?"

"The Gu family you mean?"

"Yes."

"Their things have been removed. It's been almost a month since they left," the middle-aged woman said.

"Are you the landlord?" Yun He asked.

"Yes, I am."

"Then... did the previous tenant leave anything behind? I'm a... friend of their child. Is there anything he might have forgotten that you could give me... anything at all, as long as it belonged to him?"

The landlord looked at Yun He doubtfully but didn't find anything suspicious about his appearance. Moreover, Yun He's anxious expression tugged at her heartstrings.

After some thought, the landlord said, "Alright then. I was going to clean the house today and happened to find a box of their belongings that I planned to throw away. Since you want it, you can take it."

She went back inside and returned with a cardboard box, not too big, roughly the size of a shoebox. She handed it to Yun He. "Here, this should be something left by their young man. I just glanced through it; the drawings look quite good."

"Thank you..."

Yun He held the cardboard box as if it were a treasure. He went downstairs and found a curb to sit on. With trembling hands, he opened the box to reveal what seemed like an artbook.

Inside were paintings by Gu Jiabei. The first one was the portrait he had given Yun He on his birthday, but with a subtle difference – in this version, the two of them were smiling at each other under the glow of a bright moon and countless stars.

Yun He flipped to the next page, revealing a scene from their first basketball game on campus. In the painting, Yun He had his mouth agape and his eyes wide in disbelief as he looked at Gu Jiabei, with a rolling basketball behind him.

Another page turned, depicting Yun He sitting in a hospital, tears streaming down his face while his arm was being stitched.

The following picture showed Yun He playing the piano in the lobby of Melodic Wonder music store after being coerced into doing so because a little boy refused to learn. A crowd surrounded Yun He, yet he sat confidently and straight at the piano.

A tear blurred the edges of the sketchbook.

Yun He continued flipping through the pages with great care, revealing scenes of Gu Jiabei kissing Yun He on a snow-covered basketball court.

There were also moments captured of Yun He leaning on his classroom desk with a blissful smile, eyes half-closed.

Then there were images of Yun He and Gu Jiabei holding hands, swaying together in a graceful dance.

In another frame, Yun He was seen cuddling little Baiyun on a sofa, dozing off.

And there was a picture of Yun He's flushed face as he timidly sought a kiss.

...

...

Each painting held a Yun He – his joy, anger, frown, and smile etched in Gu Jiabei's memory, captured on the pages of Gu Jiabei's sketchbook.

It turned out that Gu Jiabei had not only painted one picture for Yun He but had filled an entire album with depictions of Yun He.

These paintings stirred up emotions Yun He had been desperately trying to suppress. In this moment, he finally acknowledged that Gu Jiabei had loved him just as deeply.

He yearned for Gu Jiabei so much, but alas, he was already gone...

Through his tear-stained eyes, Yun He fumbled in his pocket for his phone, finally mustering the courage to dial the number he'd been too afraid to call. But all he heard was the cold automated message – The subscriber you are calling cannot be reached. Please try again later.

Gu Jiabei... Have you truly left me...

Are you really trying to forget me, that's why you left these paintings behind...

Gu Jiabei... Gu Jiabei...

Yun He suddenly thought of something and grabbed his phone to dial another number.

"Hello?" The call connected.

"Lu Angyu..." Yun He steadied his trembling voice.

There was a pause on Lu Angyu's end before he spoke, "Don't ask me about Bei Bei. I don't know where he is either. Even if I did, I wouldn't tell you if he doesn't want me to."

"Okay..."

After a while, Lu Angyu seemed to be unable to hold back his complaint, "Listen to me, buddy. I'm not one to criticize, but didn't I warn you before? Don't ever hurt Gu Jiabei! This guy can withstand any kind of injury, except heartbreak! Bei Bei is stubborn, he may seem fine on the surface, but in reality, he takes things more seriously than anyone else! He's such a complicated person. Though I have no idea what's going on between the two of you, why can't you understand that once you push him away, he won't come back? Do you get it or not?!"

"Will... he go abroad for studies then?"

"Don't ask me. I don't know." Lu Angyu replied grumpily.

"Alright, I won't ask. If you get a chance, please pass a message to him for me. Tell him that I don't regret it... but I hope he'll be happy..."

"I really fucking admire you!" Lu Angyu said in frustration, then hung up the phone mercilessly.

Yun He sat with that sketchbook in his arms for a long time that afternoon, until the setting sun painted the entire street crimson before he finally rose from the ground.

Yun He ambled slowly towards home. As he reached the building, he glanced at the bicycle parked downstairs – Gu Jiabei's bicycle, which Yun He hadn't ridden in a long time. It leaned casually against a tree.

Carrying the cardboard box, Yun He walked towards the staircase but suddenly turned back halfway. He set the box down on the ground and anxiously reached under the bike seat, pulling out a crumpled note he had secretly slipped there on Christmas Eve.

- Gu Jiabei, I'll like you for an incredibly long time, so long that it will astonish you. Do you believe me?

- Let time prove it for as long as it takes.

Yun He's tears could no longer be held back. He burst into heart-wrenching sobs, as if he had endured countless wrongs.

He had no idea when Gu Jiabei had found that note or what emotions had been behind his reply. Everything remained a mystery.

Youthful love was like a rainbow in the sky, beautiful and warm to behold.

Yet, it was also like a moth drawn to a flame, causing immense pain and sorrow.

In their youth, they had embraced passionately and kissed fervently, believing they had a long, long time to prove how much they cared for each other. But they never got the chance to do so.