Chapter 74: It’s My Fault

Chapter 74: It's My Fault

She felt guilty. And deeply ashamed.

Neither she nor her mother-in-law expected Feng Jinyu to resist so fiercely, even to the point of death.

She had accompanied Feng Jinyu to the town to meet Fan Xiucai and thought he had nothing going for him besides his scholar title—hardly a good match.

But last night, she found out the marriage was set, the betrothal gifts accepted, and Fan Xiucai even promised to teach her younger son to read and write.

For a farming family, literacy was a big deal.

They didn’t dare dream of greatness, but being literate and working as an accountant in town beat relying on the weather in the village.

Plus, having a scholar as a brother-in-law would give the family more status.

So, shamefully, she gave in and helped her mother-in-law pressure Feng Jinyu into accepting the marriage.

When Feng Jinyu saw she couldn’t win the argument, she smashed her head against the wall.

When she saw the blood pouring out, she was terrified and filled with regret.

She thought, maybe we should just call off this marriage.

If she were blamed for her sister-in-law’s death, she’d never forgive herself.

But instead of backing down, her mother-in-law became even more determined to marry Feng Jinyu off to Fan Xiucai as soon as possible.

And so, things spiraled out of control.

"If Feng Jinyu doesn’t marry Fan Xiucai, who else would have her?" Feng Jinyu's mother said with a mix of self-reproach and despair.

If not for today’s mess, the marriage could still have been called off.

But now, Feng Jinyu had already been alone with Fan Xiucai.

Now, Fan Xiucai was in their home, acting like Feng Jinyu’s husband.

Feng Jinyu’s reputation was ruined—in everyone’s eyes, she was no longer pure.

Even if she remarried, no one would see her as pure, and her life would be harder than a village widow’s.

Lu Mingchao, exhausted, rubbed her temples and said quietly, "Marriage doesn’t guarantee a good life."

"If Feng Jinyu dies, that’s one thing. But if she survives, bringing up the marriage again would be like twisting a knife in her heart."

"Feng Jinyu's mother, ask her grandmother: does she want a living daughter or a married-off ghost?"

"That hypocrite Fan Xiucai—if he married a ghost, would he really care about the Feng family? Would you get what you want?"

Feng Jinyu's mother cried out, "If we call off the marriage, what future does Feng Jinyu have?"

Lu Mingchao closed her eyes, exhausted, and said, "Hasn’t Feng Jinyu made her wishes clear enough?"

At this moment, Lu Mingchao was enveloped in a deep sense of helplessness.

They hid their selfish motives behind concern for Feng Jinyu, their words seemed sincere, but each had their own plans.

Everyone has their own side of the story.

Only Feng Jinyu, the one at the center of it all, is expected to play the fool and stay silent, letting others control her.

Feng Jinyu's sister-in-law's lips moved slightly, as if she had something to say, but when she met Lu Mingchao's cold and gloomy face, she finally chose to remain silent and swallowed her words.

She didn't want to push her sister-in-law to the brink, but her sister-in-law couldn't remain unmarried and become an old maid forever.

Now it's her in-laws who are supporting her sister-in-law, but what about the future?

Lu Mingchao's eyelashes fluttered, her hands propped against the wall behind her head, never opening her eyes from beginning to end, yet she seemed to grasp every unspoken word Feng Jinyu's sister-in-law held back.

Even among family, genuine sincerity is hard to come by.

Feng Jinyu's sister-in-law is just that—her sister-in-law. In her world, there are too many things more important than Feng Jinyu.

Weighing options, hesitating, and calculating are all part of human nature, and not hard to understand.

At least Feng Jinyu's sister-in-law still wants her to live.

The sun slowly dipped below the horizon, hanging precariously.

Lu Mingchao kept vigil for over two hours, and when she was starving, Feng Jinyu finally showed a faint reaction, her eyelids trembling as she slowly opened her bloodshot eyes.

She's a tough one.

Lu Mingchao felt a surge of relief.

Feng Jinyu's eyes shifted, landing on Lu Mingchao sitting by the bed.

Lu Mingchao?

Feng Jinyu blinked, her lips slightly moving, her voice dry, hoarse, and faint, "It's really you..."

Lu Mingchao stood up, scooped a spoonful of warm water to moisten Feng Jinyu's lips, teeth, throat, and mouth, smiling, "Of course, it's me."

"You only get one life, and there are plenty of ways to lose it. Be careful with it."

"If I'd known, I wouldn't have slapped you back then. After slapping you, I had to stay by your side day and night, pulling you back from the brink of death."

Feng Jinyu's eyes stung, her heart a mix of bitterness and tenderness.

In the dimly lit room, a faint beam of light passed through the window, just illuminating Lu Mingchao's profile. Her face was bathed in soft light, glowing warmly.

So, some people truly do shine.

She never imagined it would be Lu Mingchao who stayed by her side.

Lu Mingchao, the one she once envied and resented.

"I think I heard some nonsense, something about the underworld, something about serving as a concubine, something about serving a big family."

After the warm water moistened her throat, Feng Jinyu's voice became clearer.

Lu Mingchao fed Feng Jinyu two more spoonfuls of water, "That wasn't nonsense; those were words that saved your life."

"Your sister-in-law also stayed with you for a long time."

Feng Jinyu frowned, "They all forced me to marry Fan Xiucai, and even wanted to send me to Fan Xiucai's home, trying to force me into a situation where I'd have no choice but to accept my fate."

"So, you attempted suicide again?" Lu Mingchao raised an eyebrow.

Feng Jinyu stayed silent, her thoughts unspoken.

She had never imagined the trials of marriage could be so overwhelming.

Previously, she had been pampered, blind to her own shortcomings, dreaming solely of marrying well and leading a comfortable life.

She had never pondered if she was even deserving of such a family.

Even becoming Fan Xiucai's second wife was viewed as a social climb by the matchmaker and the villagers.

It was only last night that she truly came to her senses.

The pain from the wound was excruciating.

"Lu Mingchao, is marrying Fan Xiucai my only option?"

"You're a noble from the capital, worldly and wise, like the moon suspended high above. Tell me, if you were in my place, what would you do?"

Dying would have been the easy way out.

But she chose not to die.

She no longer wished for death.

But how was she to live now?

Lu Mingchao frowned, "I wouldn't choose death."

The death her past self sought was irrelevant to her now.

Keep your distance.

She cherished her life above all.

"My actions are irrelevant; what matters is what you decide to do."

Lu Mingchao's voice was sharp and clear.

Feng Jinyu was confused; was her own will truly significant?

"Can my desires even be considered valid?"

"Why not?" Lu Mingchao shot back, "Even a dog gets to decide if it wants to eat crap."

Well, that Old Scholar is nothing but trash.

Feng Jinyu thought: Lu Mingchao still has a way with words.

"Lu Mingchao, is it possible for a woman to be independent and self-sufficient without a man?"

"It hinges on her own capabilities."

Lu Mingchao didn't paint too rosy a picture for Feng Jinyu.

A spark can start a prairie fire.