Chapter 107: Wanting It All

Chapter 107: Wanting It All

The wind roared fiercely, and the candlelight flickered.

"So that's the way it is." Lu Mingchao had a sudden realization.

Yu Shanzhang of Baopu Academy was once invited to the palace to teach the Crown Prince, who would later become the emperor. His most accomplished disciple, Shu Yuan, naturally became the Crown Prince's companion.

They met in their teenage years and spent more than a decade together, knowing and accompanying each other.

One was of noble birth, a royal descendant; the other was extraordinarily talented, a heaven-sent genius.

Their relationship of mutual respect and shared aspirations somehow soured over time.

The Crown Prince, burdened with great responsibilities and surrounded by supporters, could never act impulsively or openly be with Shu Yuan.

After the Crown Prince ascended the throne, Shu Yuan voluntarily underwent castration to enter the palace as the chief eunuch.

"Shu Yuan is love-struck!" Lu Mingchao sighed with a mix of emotions.

A life that should have been remembered in history was reduced to being remembered as a sycophantic and arrogant eunuch in the official records.

Xie Yan was startled and murmured as if in a daze, "Shu Yuan said he sought and gained what he desired, and did not feel the bitterness."

"In my youth, my cousin went to the northern frontier to inspect the troops. Shu Yuan accompanied him."

"At that time, Shu Yuan was a renowned scholar, exuding the confidence and vigor of a true scholar."

"A cup of fine wine, a poem in hand, with sleeves stained with ink."

"His youthful arrogance transformed into the unrestrained elegance and spirit of a true literati."

"That scene was imprinted in the minds of countless troops in the northern frontier."

"Honestly, Mingchao, for a long time, I thought all scholars were like Shu Yuan."

"He told me he had held me in the mountains, during that troop inspection trip."

"Later, when the news of Shu Yuan's castration and entry into the palace reached the northern frontier, besides contempt and disdain, many people lamented."

"The year he entered the palace, my aunt fell ill out of anger, and Principal Yu declared it the lifelong shame of his career. No one remembered Shu Yuan's unparalleled scholarly talents; he became a pariah among scholars."

"Where strength falls short and wisdom cannot reach, malicious gossip finds its way in."

Lu Mingchao lowered her brows and pressed her lips, feeling at a loss for words and unable to fully express her complex emotions.

"Then why does he care so much about Huaiqian?" Lu Mingchao deftly changed the subject.

Xie Yan squeezed Lu Mingchao's hand. "Huaiqian's mother was a woman from an influential family in the Jiangnan region. They were betrothed from a young age."

"Although they seldom saw each other, the marriage contract bound them."

"In this sense, Shu Yuan was the one who came later."

"Additionally, Huaiqian's mother left a blood-stained letter and hanged herself with hatred for Shu Yuan in her heart."

Lu Mingchao tilted her head, her bright and clear eyes blinking. "I have something disrespectful to say, should I say it or not?"

"Between us, husband and wife, we don't need to be so formal." Xie Yan looked back at Lu Mingchao, his voice tinged with amusement, like water striking a stone. Lu Mingchao enunciated each word. "I think your cousin wants to have his cake and eat it too."

With warmth as the warp, promises as the weft, and memories as the thread, a carefully woven net ensnared Shu Yuan, holding him securely.

As the net gradually tightened, Shu Yuan's fate was entirely in the hands of the weaver. Whether it was laughter or tears, life or death, all was decided by him.

"Even if Shu Yuan hadn't entered the palace, your cousin wouldn't have let him roam free like a fish in the sea or a bird in the sky."

"When a ruler humiliates his subjects, it will break the hearts of court officials and scholars, shaking the foundation of Daqian, but keeping a little eunuch to warm the bed is a completely different matter."

"Perhaps it was even your cousin who pointed out the path of entering the palace and undergoing castration for Shu Yuan."

"Once he entered the palace, Shu Yuan had no way back. All he saw around him were storms, and your royal brother's favor was the only light left in his life, the only shelter that could protect him."

"Shu Yuan is soft-hearted and prone to self-deception." As she spoke, Lu Mingchao let out a soft laugh.

She mocked Shu Yuan's foolishness but didn't ridicule his genuine heart.

As for Huaiqian, the one he should hate the most is the former emperor, not Shu Yuan.

But the former emperor is dead, and Shu Yuan is still alive, perhaps heaven's way of compensating the pitiful soul.

"In your description, Shu Yuan is someone who could drink a cup of wine and compose a poem on the spot. The top student of Principal Yu would have long since passed the imperial examinations and achieved official rank."

"In the examination hall, he could draft strategies to govern and pacify the people; in the literary world, his elegant words flowed into brilliant and splendid prose."

"Such a person, clear and insightful, could see through your cousin's intentions but chose not to."

"Or, more precisely, was willing to indulge your cousin's wishes after seeing through them, to avoid destabilizing the country because of one person."

"It's not that your cousin had no genuine feelings for Shu Yuan, but those feelings were mixed with too much calculation."

After all, he was Principal Yu's finest student!

Gossip is fearsome, especially when it comes from the mouth and pen of a scholar.

Xie Yan's eyes dimmed, nostalgia slowly fading from his gaze.

His cousin was more than just family; he was royalty.

A royal would never allow themselves unattainable love or unfulfilled desires.

His Mingchao, as always, was sharp and clear-headed.

"Xie Yan said earnestly."

"He never wanted much. As a young man, he aimed to make a name in the northern frontier. After his family was destroyed, he just wanted to survive and keep Huaiqian and the others alive."

"Now, he wants to live alongside Mingchao."

Lu Mingchao clasped Xie Yan's hand in return. "A Yan, I always repay every slight; I could never be as forgiving and understanding as Shu Yuan."

"A clean break can lead to happiness for both of us."

"Or should I drag Xie Yan to his death with me?"

"No, Xie Yan should die instead."

"We won't be separated!"

"And there's no way we'll part!" Xie Yan shot a fierce glare at Lu Mingchao.

Lu Mingchao pursed her lips and said teasingly, "You're known by the company you keep!"

Xie Yan's breath caught, feeling a little dizzy.

"The one I'm close to is Shu Yuan. In the northern frontier, he was the one who held me."

"So, I'm willing to see you as the only light in this stormy chaos."

Lu Mingchao felt at ease, "Great."

"Romance novels clearly say that a lovestruck guy is the best betrothal gift."

Suddenly, Lu Mingchao leaned in and kissed Xie Yan on the lips, "This is the best reward for a smooth-talking young guy."

Xie Yan's face turned red, and his body went stiff and straight.

Before Xie Yan could react, Lu Mingchao had already pulled the blanket over her head and shut her eyes.

Before falling asleep, Lu Mingchao was still thinking about giving Shu Yuan an extra meal the next day.

What a poor thing.

The former emperor is dead, but the poor thing still has to think about getting revenge.

Alright, I'll be nicer to Shu Yuan from now on.

With that thought, Lu Mingchao fell into a deep sleep.

Xie Yan listened to the steady, even breathing beside him and couldn't help but smile to himself, silently mouthing in the dim light, "It's the truth."

He and Mingchao would be together forever, growing old side by side.

The candle went out.

The wind kept howling.

That night, Shu Yuan and Xie Huaiqian were on the same bed.

Separated by a world.

"Shu Yuan," Xie Huaiqian called out softly.

"Mm-hmm?"

"Do you miss my dad?"

"Nope."

"You don't miss my dad? He was so good to you, even my mother was jealous."