Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Lu Yu was furious.

Yun Wan’s heart felt as if struck by a heavy hammer. Enduring the suffocating pain in her chest, she panicked, gathering her skirts, and rushed towards him.

“No, he is not A Yu.”

Seeing Brother Wang from the security agency addressing Lu Yu so familiarly, her voice trembled as she repeated, “Brother Wang, he is not A Yu.”

Wang Xiong, seeing Yun Wan after a long absence, laughed heartily, “You two are both teasing me! Just now, Brother Lu said the same thing.”

“If it weren’t for the pouch he left at the security agency being identical to the one he’s wearing now, he wouldn’t even acknowledge me as a brother.”

Yun Wan’s face instantly turned ashen, her voice hoarse as she insisted, “No, he truly isn’t A Yu.”

“He… he is my master.”

Seeing Yun Wan’s unsteady posture, Wang Xiong finally understood that the man before him truly wasn’t his brother Lu Yu.

He scratched his head and said, “He looks so similar, as if cast from the same mold…”

Yun Wan looked at Lu Yu’s gloomy expression, a harbinger of a summer storm. Summoning her courage, she cautiously tried to grasp Lu Yu’s sleeve, only to be fiercely shaken off.

Tears of grievance welled up instantly. Her body trembled slightly with fear, and she paid no heed to the onlookers, frantically following him.

Even after settling into the carriage, Lu Yu sat rigidly upright, his eyes icy cold, the chill emanating from him more biting than the harsh winter weather outside.

The atmosphere inside the carriage was heavy, suffocatingly oppressive.

Yun Wan’s tears streamed down her cheeks, dripping onto her trembling hands. Her delicate face was streaked with tear stains, her peach-blossom eyes filled with grievance.

The half-hour journey felt longer than an entire year.

Several times, she mustered the courage to explain to Lu Yu, but the moment she raised her eyes and met his cold gaze, her heart felt as if pierced by a sharp, gleaming blade.

Her lips trembled, but not a single word of explanation could escape.

Upon returning to the Northwest Manor, as Yun Wan watched Lu Yu rise and step out of the carriage, she instinctively grabbed the hem of his robe. With tear-filled, reddened eyes, all she could manage was a hesitant whisper, “...Young Master...”

Lu Yu did not speak. The warmth that usually lingered in his eyes was gone, replaced only by an ice-like coldness.

Yun Wan’s heart felt as if squeezed by an invisible hand. She lowered her gaze slightly, trembling, and as if resigned, let her fingers loosen their grip on his sleeve.

That night, the cold moonlight spilled over the quiet courtyard.

Yun Wan stood silently before Lu Yu’s door, her eyes swollen, her hands tightly clutching the hem of her robe, her fingertips pale from the force.

Feelings of grievance and bitterness surged like violent waves, relentlessly battering the fragile embankment deep within her heart.

Biting her lip, Yun Wan restrained her escalating emotions, as if mustering all her strength to knock on the tightly shut door.

The hollow sound echoed in the courtyard. Yun Wan’s heartbeat grew increasingly rapid, pounding like a drum against her chest.

Suddenly, the tightly shut door slowly opened.

A glimmer of hope flashed in Yun Wan’s reddened eyes.

Was Lu Yu waiting for her?

But the room was pitch dark, every inch of darkness seeming to conceal lurking beasts.

Hesitating for a moment at the doorway, Yun Wan stepped over the threshold and entered.

She dared not venture further, standing like a schoolchild who had done wrong, right at the entrance. Before she could speak,

With a loud, heavy thud, the door was slammed shut behind her.

Yun Wan’s heart jolted violently. Her pupils contracted as she tried to open the door and leave, but a cold, large hand gripped her tightly and pulled her into an embrace.

Then, a fierce, storm-like kiss landed on her lips. The man seemed to devour the air from her mouth, her breathing growing increasingly rapid, like a fish out of water.

She pushed against his broad chest but felt him bite her lip fiercely, as if wanting to swallow her whole.

“Yun Wan, what exactly do you take me for?”

Lu Yu’s voice was filled with anger, his words gritted and hoarse.

“A substitute for your late husband buried in the grave?”

Gasping for breath, Yun Wan felt Lu Yu’s scorching body and recalled Yun Qingtian’s words. Tears fell once again.

What could she say? That you are A Yu, that you are my husband, that you’ve lost your memory for some reason.

Lu Yu wouldn’t believe a single word of it.

Yun Wan wept silently, her tears falling like broken strings, her reddened eyes filled with unspeakable anguish.

Her voice bitter and filled with grievance, she said, “That pouch was for you.”

Lu Yu took out two indistinguishable pouches from his chest. “Yun Wan, you won’t even bother to humor me. Both pouches are exactly the same.”

Then, gripping Yun Wan’s wrist, he dragged her before a bronze mirror, their reflections staring back at them.

Pointing at his own image in the mirror, he said fiercely, “So it was all my wishful thinking. If you can’t forget your past love, why did you approach me because of my resemblance to him?”

“Yun Wan, answer me. Am I, Lu Yu, a worthless person?”

Lu Yu’s hand clamped around Yun Wan’s slender wrist like an iron vice, his knuckles turning white from the force. His bloodshot eyes fixed intently on Yun Wan.

Tonight, he was determined to get an answer.

But Yun Wan trembled slightly in his embrace, her eyelashes wet with tears, her lips bitten until they lost their color.

A trace of self-mockery flashed in Lu Yu’s eyes. Had he been right?

“The tender words you spoke to me, constantly calling my name—were they all just memories of your late husband?”

“Wanwan, which of the words you said to me were actually true?”

Lu Yu’s usually dignified noble demeanor shattered like ice. His eyes red, he stared fixedly at Yun Wan.

Hearing Lu Yu’s self-deprecating words, Yun Wan’s tears flowed freely. She tried to cover his mouth to stop him from speaking further, but he gripped her hands tightly.

Crying and trembling all over, she sobbed, “Those words were for you. It’s all you, only you.”

Lu Yu let out a scornful laugh, his voice terrifyingly hoarse. “Wanwan, do you think I still believe that now?”

Yun Wan did not speak. Instead, with tears streaming down her face, she kissed the corner of Lu Yu’s lips.

Her heart felt as if pierced by a thousand needles; she could bear to hear no more and could only muffle Lu Yu by pressing her hand over his mouth.

But Lu Yu seized Yun Wan’s wrist, pinned her against the pillar, and took control, deepening the kiss with violent intensity.

The fierce kiss was like water droplets falling into boiling oil. As Lu Yu’s tongue pried open Yun Wan’s lips, a strong metallic taste flooded his tongue. His conquering kiss swallowed her whimpers.

Lu Yu was like a beast freed from its cage, restraining her frail body, his fingertips lightly tracing her skin, his eyes dark with desire like a deep, cold abyss.

As their robes gradually slipped to the floor and the bed curtains slowly fell, the room filled with the sounds of shaking and intensity.

Lu Yu seemed to have gone mad.

Involuntary tears streamed endlessly from Yun Wan’s eyes. Gazing at the man’s bloodshot eyes, her fingertips turned white as she gripped his solid arms, sobbed, choking out, “Lu Yu, slower.”

Lu Yu slowed his pace, but upon hearing his name, he felt an unprecedented disgust.

His eyes, deep as abysses, fixed intently on Yun Wan. He wanted to know—exactly whom was she calling out to?

Finally, watching Yun Wan’s dazed eyes, he clasped her hands and emphasized by her ear, “I am called Cheng Yu.”

Yun Wan’s peach-blossom eyes, glistening like autumn lakes, were already filled with desire, her mind hazy and unable to comprehend what Lu Yu was saying.

Suddenly, the wrist tightly gripped by Lu Yu felt as if it were about to be crushed; the pain brought her briefly back to her senses.

“Wanwan, call me Cheng Yu.”

Yun Wan’s mind was still processing Lu Yu’s words, but Lu Yu, staring into her unfocused eyes, thought she was still reminiscing about her late husband.

He bit her lip until it bled and said fiercely, “What? Is it so hard to even say my name now?”

“Yun Wan, you are truly heartless to me.”

Yun Wan parted her lips, trying to form words, but Lu Yu, in his anger, moved more roughly. A fragile sound escaped her lips: “—Cheng Yu—”

Lu Yu twined a strand of Yun Wan’s hair around his finger, pressed his chin in the crook of her neck, bit Yun Wan’s earlobe, and said hoarsely, “Wanwan, who is better, me or your former husband?”

Yun Wan, rocking with the movement of the bedframe, could no longer speak, but Lu Yu insisted she give an answer.

As his movements quickened, she cried out, “—is Cheng Yu—”

Until the sky began to lighten at dawn,

Yun Wan, who had murmured drowsily “Cheng Yu” all night, her voice already hoarse, he finally released her.

After that night, Lu Yu seldom appeared in the residence, spending his days attending to affairs in the northwest. Yun Wan had no further chance to see him.

Until the night before their departure back to the capital—

As soon as she heard Lu Yu had returned to his room, Yun Wan hurriedly placed the food kept warm on the stove into a food box and carried it to his courtyard.

Just as she happily prepared to knock on the door, the sharp rasp of a sword being drawn rang beside her ear.

“Miss Yun, please stop. The Young Lord has ordered that no outsiders are to be admitted,” the guard said.

Seeing the cold glint of the blade blocking her path, Yun Wan trembled slightly and instinctively stepped back.

“But—before, I was never stopped.”

Her nails dug into her palms as she asked again, “May I not enter? Is there a guest inside?”

The guard replied, “Please do not put me in a difficult position, Miss Yun.”

Yun Wan lowered her head, a tear instantly falling to the ground. Just days ago, they had shared warmth in the bedchamber, yet now she had become an “outsider” in his words.

Perhaps those previous days, when he went to attend to affairs in the northwest, he was also avoiding her.

He was still angry with her, still disgusted by her, still bothered by the matter of being a so-called “replacement.”

Numbly, Yun Wan handed over the food box: “Please give this to the Young Lord.”

With that, she stumbled off from the courtyard.

-----

Inside the room, Lu Yan took the dumplings in sour soup and baked flatbread from the food box and carefully laid them before Lu Yu.

A long time passed, yet Lu Yu made no move to eat.

Lu Yan ventured to ask, “Young Lord, would you like to eat some?”

Lu Yu remained silent, his expression indifferent.

“Shall I take these away?”

Lu Yu said displeasedly, “Leave them.”

Lu Yan mopped his brow. No one could understand the Young Lord’s mind—it was rare to see someone not eat but only stare at food.

Lu Yu looked down at the book that had lain unopened for a long time, his eyes filled with churning emotions.

----

On the journey back to the capital, their travel no longer needed to avoid public notice.

As Yun Wan, carrying Xiao Bao, was about to board Lu Yu’s carriage, Lu Yan suddenly stopped her and pointed to the carriage behind: “Miss Yun, your carriage is over there.”

“Not—this one anymore?”

Lu Yan replied, “The Young Lord has specifically arranged a carriage for you.”

Yun Wan’s eyes reddened, a bitter smile touching her lips as she said softly, “Alright, thank you.”

Along the way, Lu Yu seemed to deliberately avoid her, making it difficult for her to see him.

For over half a month, the emotions building in her heart felt ready to ignite her completely. She missed him, wanted to see him.

She thought everything would be fine once they returned to the marquis’s household.

They would live in the same courtyard; there was no way he could avoid her.

But when the carriage stopped at the entrance of the Marquis of Xuanping’s mansion,

Yun Wan watched as the Marchioness warmly held a young woman’s hand and introduced her to Lu Yu.

The young woman smiled shyly and curtsied respectfully to Lu Yu. When Lu Yu softly bade her rise,

An instinctive dread made Yun Wan’s heart plunge into an abyss, the sound of its shattering vanishing into nothingness.

It seemed she was about to lose Lu Yu completely.