Chapter 38 Your Cousin Doesn’t Love You

Chapter 38 Your Cousin Doesn’t Love You

Late in the afternoon, Xie Xiao and Yan Weichu took their leave to return home, leaving Xie Yunniang to stay for a few days.

Once in the carriage, Yan Weichu stared at Xie Xiao in silence. Xie Xiao asked him, "What is it?"

Yan Weichu, full of curiosity, asked, "Cousin, when was the last time you cried?"

Xie Xiao pondered for a moment before replying, "When my mother passed away."

"Just as I thought," Yan Weichu pressed, "Why didn’t you cry after that?"

Xie Xiao looked puzzled. "Why would I cry after growing up? Do you think everyone is like you?"

"..."

Why are you attacking me? Who’s like whom?

Yan Weichu’s fleeting sympathy vanished instantly. "I don’t believe it. You didn’t cry when your grandfather passed away either?"

Xie Xiao shook his head. "My grandfather disliked his descendants crying. There was no need."

Yan Weichu asked again, "What about the time before that? When was it?"

Xie Xiao fell silent for a moment. "I don’t want to say."

Oh? Is he embarrassed? So he really was a crybaby before then?

Snow began to fall again in the evening, and darkness descended early.

Xie Xiao tasted the wine; it was indeed the same as the one he’d tried at Buye Fang. No wonder no other wine had tasted as good since.

"Even for a drink, you have to beg your emperor cousin? Is that all you’ve got?" He looked at Yan Weichu with disdain.

Yan Weichu exclaimed, "Hey! I’ve already told you, you’re the only one who’s my true cousin. It’s our special bond. Besides, what’s wrong with asking the Emperor? He has so many good things he can’t possibly use or consume them all himself. I’m just helping him share the burden. It’s my way of showing affection. Otherwise, being an emperor is a lonely position—if he has no one close to him, how tragic would that be?"

Xie Xiao asked him, "Do you think being an emperor is tragic?"

"Of course! The phrase 'lonesome soul' refers precisely to the emperor. You wouldn’t understand, Cousin," Yan Weichu sighed, shaking his head.

Xie Xiao chuckled, "And you do?"

Yan Weichu said earnestly, "I empathize with him. His Majesty is quite pitiful. He’s only my age—do you truly believe he wants to kill so many people? It’s hard to be a good emperor, and it’s also hard to be a tyrant. Once you’re forced into that position, it’s all out of necessity. If others don’t die, he will. What choice does he have but to protect himself?"

Xie Xiao was uncharacteristically speechless. He could understand the emperor’s predicament, yet he couldn’t help but resent how the emperor had used Yan Weichu to manipulate him.

"Let’s not talk about this anymore," Yan Weichu said, perhaps finding the topic dull. "Cousin, drink with me."

After dinner, Yan Weichu was attended by Shun Xi for washing and changing. He had drunk several cups and seemed a little tipsy, his expression languid and his face flushed.

Xie Xiao sat watching him and asked, "The Qilin Guard will take time to establish. Will you start going to the West Garden tomorrow?"

"Yes," Yan Weichu replied lazily. "His Majesty said we need to finalize the regulations first. The training grounds and living quarters for the imperial clansmen also need separate renovations. Everything must be rushed to completion before the Lantern Festival next year, and I’ll need to oversee it all. His Majesty will issue the decree before the New Year, and this Imperial Guard must be fully formed by the end of the first month at the latest."

Xie Xiao asked, "Does His Majesty want just a security detail, or a real army capable of actual combat?"

Yan Weichu glanced at him. "Cousin, you truly understand His Majesty. He did say that the Qilin Guard’s pay will come from the emperor’s private funds, and the best weapons and firearms will be supplied to them first. After all, they are all family. Once they are trained, if the opportunity arises, they will be taken out to see some action."

Hearing this, Xie Xiao grew even more uneasy, but he didn’t want to dampen the mood. He only advised, "Since His Majesty values this new Imperial Guard so highly, you should put more effort into it and take it seriously."

Yan Weichu nodded obediently. "I know."

Xie Xiao stood up. "You should rest early. I’m going to the study."

With that, he turned to leave, but Yan Weichu reached out and grabbed his sleeve, asking confused, "Why are you going to the study again, Cousin?"

Shun Xi and the other servants quietly gathered the items and withdrew, closing the door behind them.

Xie Xiao looked back. Yan Weichu sat at the edge of the couch, looking up at him with pleading eyes, his flushed cheeks reaching the corners of his eyes, his gaze shimmering with moisture.

Xie Xiao felt a restless heat stir within him under that gaze, though his expression remained unchanged. "Both of us have to get up early tomorrow for work. Didn’t you say it hurt earlier?"

"Cousin, you’re so lustful," Yan Weichu’s drunken voice was sticky and hoarse as he teased, "Aren’t we married? Can’t we sleep together without doing that? Why do we need separate rooms?"

Xie Xiao’s eyes darkened as he looked at Yan Weichu without saying a word.

Yan Weichu pulled him down to sit, then knelt on the couch. He casually loosened the hair tie holding his hair back, letting his long hair cascade down. At the same time, he wrapped the hair tie around Xie Xiao’s eyes, quickly tying a slipknot at the back.

Xie Xiao let him do it, sensing Yan Weichu move away and step off the couch, but he didn't ask anything.

Yan Weichu walked barefoot across the room, extinguishing all the lamps in a circle before climbing back onto the couch and leaning gently against Xie Xiao’s back.

Noticing the dimming light around him, Xie Xiao turned his head and asked the playful Yan Weichu, "What are you trying to do?"

Yan Weichu whispered in his ear, "Cousin, are you afraid of the dark?"

Xie Xiao remained composed. "Afraid of what?"

"Afraid of the dark," Yan Weichu’s voice trailed off with a laugh.

Xie Xiao chuckled. "Are you afraid?"

Yan Weichu clicked his tongue. "Cousin, do you know what your little cousin told me?"

Earlier, when Yan Weichu inexplicably asked when he last cried, Xie Xiao had already guessed but didn’t mind. He played along. "What did he say?"

"He said," Yan Weichu’s voice drew closer, word by word, "Cousin is a crybaby."

The last two words rose in tone, unable to conceal the growing laughter in his voice.

Xie Xiao reached back, pulling Yan Weichu into his arms. Yan Weichu’s loosely worn robe slipped open in the movement.

"If you don’t want to sleep, then don’t sleep."

Yan Weichu pushed against his chest, but it was futile. Xie Xiao pressed down forcefully, spreading his legs into the most humiliating position. "Try to keep your voice down later."

"Who’s making noise..." Yan Weichu’s moans soon changed in tone.

The snow continued to fall outside, while inside, the heated floor kept the room warm, entangled in passion.

From the couch to the bed, Yan Weichu alternated between moaning, panting, and crying. Xie Xiao finally made him understand through action who the real crybaby was.

At the most intense moment, Xie Xiao pulled off the hair tie from his eyes, forcing himself to pause and look down. Yan Weichu, thoroughly ravaged, had teardrops clinging to his eyelashes, trembling faintly in the darkness.

He leaned down and gently kissed away that timid tear.

*

From that day on, Yan Weichu began splitting his time between the Marquis’s residence and the West Garden.

Every morning he left at 7:30 AM and usually wouldn't get back until after 3 PM. Xie Xiao typically came back even later, ensuring no chance of getting caught.

Three days later, he summoned Marquis of Loyal Jiang Daoyan and two other border generals who had come to the capital to give their reports at Yaotai. As usual, he did not show himself, offering a few words of encouragement and rewards according to custom. Marquis of Loyal received more than the other two—after all, Suzhou was a strategic fortress, and Marquis of Loyal had worked hard and deserved the recognition.

It definitely wasn’t favoritism or abuse of power.

Though the border generals had missed the rare chance to see the emperor’s imperial presence during their visit to the capital, the emperor’s gesture of goodwill reassured them.

After all, the emperor had previously turned the Western Market into a bloodbath. Not only were the capital’s officials afraid, but the border generals were even more terrified.

No one wanted to be forced into rebellion if they can help it, right?

After the generals left, Ji Lanshu and Zheng Shize were summoned together before the emperor. After the establishment of the Qilin Guard, Yan Weichu would personally serve as its Commander. One of the two Assistant Commissioners would be Zheng Shize, while the other was a right-hand man Yan Weichu had brought from the Western Garden.

Zheng Shize gaped, stunned to suddenly be appointed an official—and a third-grade Assistant Commissioner of the Imperial Guard, no less. "Me? Can I even handle this…"

Yan Weichu said disdainfully, "Would you rather spend your whole life hanging around brothels? Weren’t you complaining before that I only granted your father an honorary title and you couldn’t even become an heir? Now I’m giving you a chance to earn a title yourself. Don’t you want it?"

Zheng Shize thought, *Cousin, do you read minds?* and said awkwardly, "I’m just afraid I might not do well and hold up Your Majesty’s plans."

Yan Weichu replied, "This position is only temporary for you. In the future, aside from the Commander being me, all positions from Assistant Commissioner downward will be filled by royal clansmen within the Qilin Guard. This is just to let you gain experience. If you prove capable, I’ll assign you elsewhere."

What else could Zheng Shize say? He could only kowtow in gratitude.

As for Ji Lanshu’s presence, Yan Weichu had specifically summoned him to discuss and finalize the setup rules and structure for the Qilin Guard.

Yan Weichu had previously discussed the issues with the current royal family system with Ji Lanshu several times. Ji Lanshu had insightful views and offered many suggestions. Though of Feudal Prince descent, Ji Lanshu had grown up among the common people, watching from the outside, and understood many things more clearly than Yan Weichu did.

Dajing had been established for over 160 years, and there were now more than 80,000 registered imperial clan members. According to ancestral tradition, these people did not engage in the common trades, spending their days idle. The upper-class Feudal Princes lived extravagantly and corruptly, while the lower-class distant relatives fell into poverty, with many becoming beggars, vagrants, or even criminals.

In short, from top to bottom, the entire system was corrupt, and it would eventually be rotten to the core.

As the two discussed these matters, Zheng Shize listened only half following and began dozing off. Yan Weichu gave him an annoyed look, so Zheng Shize said, "Your Majesty, why not assign the Assistant Commissioner position to your father? I think he understands much more than I do…"

"Since when do you get to tell me how to do things?" Yan Weichu said irritably.

Zheng Shize shut up, defeated.

Ji Lanshu said with a weak smile. "My health isn’t good, so I can’t serve as a military officer. This really isn’t suitable for me."

Yan Weichu nodded. "I know. Father has told me. Since Father cares about you, how could I not consider your well-being? In the future, if you feel unwell anywhere, just have Father summon the imperial physician. Whatever medicine you need, have them prescribe it freely. I grant special permission."

Unable to refuse further, Ji Lanshu sincerely expressed his gratitude.

Zheng Shize muttered under his breath. *The way His Majesty speaks, calling them 'Father' and 'Dad' so familiarly, isn’t he afraid it might cut their lives short?*

*Fine, you four are one happy family, and I’m the outsider.*

Yan Weichu then assigned the task of writing up the rules to Ji Lanshu. With that done, his work for the day was nearly finished, and he could return.

As he left Yaotai, he saw Bian Shen’s carriage waiting outside, specifically there to get Ji Lanshu.

Bian Shen came forward to greet the imperial carriage. Yan Weichu, seeing he was alone, hesitated to speak.

Bian Shen volunteered, "General Shi is returning south with his troops tomorrow to make it back in time for the New Year. Marquis of Dingbei is wrapping up final details with him and probably won’t be back so soon today."

Yan Weichu’s looked disappointed.

It wasn’t easy for the Shi Family Army to come to the capital. General Shi, in his seventies, had still helped him, the emperor, reorganize the capital garrison and clean up the mess—truly hard work that deserved recognition. Now that the general was rushing home for the New Year, Yan Weichu couldn’t very well stop him and say, "Take your time, don’t dump the burden and tire out my dear cousin."

Ji Lanshu noticed his displeasure and tried to cheer him up, "Your Majesty, since Marquis of Dingbei won’t be back so soon, would you like to come to our residence for dinner? Yesterday, when we visited Marquis of Loyal’s residence, he happened to give us two jars of good liquor from Suzhou."

He was also using this opportunity to inform the emperor of their contact with the border generals to avoid any misunderstandings later.

Yan Weichu wasn't worried about that at all but was in low spirits. "Fine."

It wasn’t as if he hadn’t tasted the wine from Marquis of Loyal’s residence—he had several jars at home—but he might as well go.

Nearby, Zheng Shize also wanted to join them for drinks and boldly asked, "Your Majesty, take me with you."

*Your dear cousin isn’t here, but I, your cousin, will keep you company.*

Yan Weichu nodded absently, giving his consent.

After that, they went together to Count of Anding’s residence, where Bian Shen had a banquet set up in the flower hall.

During the meal, Zheng Shize chattered nonstop, keeping the conversation going. Though Yan Weichu wasn’t particularly cheerful, the gathering didn’t turn awkward.

His gaze occasionally drifted to Bian Shen and Ji Lanshu, observing how his father and dad interacted so smoothly. He mused that old married couples were indeed different—truly enviable.

Zheng Shize boldly asked about Bian Shen and Ji Lanshu’s love story. Bian Shen, patient, didn’t take offense and even satisfied his curiosity, saying leisurely, "One glance captured the heart, meeting even in dreams; a chance encounter in the autumn breeze, a fateful meeting; sharing a lifetime together, growing old with unchanged affection."

Ji Lanshu blushed slightly. "Don’t say such things in front of His Majesty…"

Zheng Shize clapped his hands. "How wonderful!"

Yan Weichu drank deeply. *That’s indeed much better than my and my cousin’s life, which is nothing but acting.*

After dinner, they drank tea there for a while until finally, an imperial guard brought news that Marquis of Dingbei had left the capital garrison.

Yan Weichu, who had been distracted all along, immediately came to life. Setting down his teacup, he stood. "I’m returning."

Then he turned and left without letting Bian Shen and the others see him off.

Zheng Shize quickly stood as well, cupped his hands in farewell to Bian Shen and Ji Lanshu, and followed. Watching Yan Weichu stride away briskly, he thought to himself.

As they were about to leave the residence, Yan Weichu suddenly stopped and looked down, realizing the jade pendant at his waist was missing.

Shun Xi quickly offered, "Perhaps it fell off when you were drinking tea earlier, Your Majesty. This servant will go back and retrieve it."

Yan Weichu frowned. "I’ll go myself."

He hurried back but paused just before reaching the flower hall. Ahead, Bian Shen and Ji Lanshu had stopped by the door of the flower hall to admire the moonlight on the pond, holding each other and chatting with laughter.

Yan Weichu hesitated, not stepping forward immediately. It wasn’t the first time he’d seen his father and dad being affectionate, and as the emperor, he didn’t need to worry about others’ opinions—he was just a bit embarrassed.

The next moment, Yan Weichu’s eyes widened abruptly.

Ahead, Ji Lanshu turned and said something with a laugh into Bian Shen’s ear. Bian Shen leaned in forehead to forehead, and then—they kissed!

Zheng Shize, who had followed a step slower, saw the scene and was used to it. But when he glanced at Yan Weichu’s slightly stunned expression, he raised an eyebrow.

Yan Weichu quickly lowered his gaze and whispered to Shun Xi, "You go get it later," then turned and left the residence to board the carriage.

The carriage door was open. Zheng Shize hung around by the carriage, studying Yan Weichu’s somewhat dazed expression inside. His eyes twinkled, and he drawled, "Count of Anding and his wife have such a good relationship. Even after more than ten years together, they’re still so affectionate—unlike those who are only together in appearance. How many couples have seven or eight children but never kiss in their entire lives…"

Yan Weichu’s face darkened. *I ought to stitch your lips together one of these days.*

Zheng Shize was now certain—here was another who was at odds with his husband, heh!

How could it not be? Both their identities were fake to begin with, and the Marquis of Dingbei marrying a male spouse was originally meant to dispel the emperor’s suspicions. You two really shouldn’t criticize each other.

One isn’t genuine, the other isn’t pure—naturally, they’re a far cry from the Count of Anding and his partner.

Yan Weichu was also thinking the same thing—he and his cousin had done everything, just like a real couple. His cousin was always biting him, yet he had never really kissed him…

As expected, what’s fake remains fake.

His heart felt a bit sour, as if someone had given it a few light, sharp jabs with an awl—unpleasant, no matter what.

But Zheng Shize, that scoundrel, had some nerve, gloating far too obviously. The Young Emperor didn’t want to lose face, so he put on a disgusted act and said, “All that kissing—isn’t it dirty? It’s undignified and improper!”

Zheng Shize chimed in cheerfully, “Your Majesty is absolutely right.”

But what he really thought was: Your cousin doesn’t love you—bet that stings, doesn’t it?