Chapter 5

Chapter 5

It seemed that neither voluntarily leaving the marital home nor seeking an amicable separation was a simple or realistic matter.

As Lady Xiao remarked, this marriage was an imperially decreed union, meaning there was almost no possibility of dissolving it without defying the imperial decree. For someone like her—a helpless orphaned woman without any strength to tie up a chicken, and with no support or foundation—seeking a divorce was nothing short of a foolish fantasy.

After fully accepting the bizarre and extraordinary experiences of the past day and night, a clear and calm Shen Anning’s first thought was that she wanted an amicable separation from Lu Suian. She wanted to distance herself from that cold, emotionless heartbreaker and escape the Lu family, a soul-sucking hellscape that drains one to the bone.

The thought of those seven humiliating and degrading years filled her with suffocating bitterness and sorrow.

Seven years, over two thousand days and nights—she rose at *mao* hour (5-7 AM) every day, earlier than the roosters. She personally attended to every matter, serving her husband, showing filial piety to her parents-in-law, and accommodating her sisters-in-law and female cousins. She exhausted her heart and blood, working harder than an ox, until her once strong and healthy body was utterly worn down.

And what was the result?

Tuberculosis?

Heh, how utterly ridiculous!

How foolish and naive Shen Anning from her previous life had been!

Growing up in the countryside, she had handled hoes and sickles, carried baskets weighing dozens of pounds up mountains to gather herbs, and even hunted rabbits and pheasants. Her body was robust and healthy, far surpassing that of the average delicate young lady. Yet, such a strong constitution could not withstand even a few years in this noble mansion.

She had been slowly drained of every drop of her vitality by this deep, oppressive household, which had opened its blood-red maw and sucked her dry, bit by bit.

Was it merely the imposing high walls that intimidated and restrained her?

No!

She thought perhaps everything had been destined from the moment her red bridal veil was lifted.

That slender, jade-like figure, elegant as an orchid and a tree; that exquisite beauty, peerless in the world—like a celestial god descending to the mortal realm—appeared before her, just like that, grandly, from the heavens, rendering all the lavish red decorations around them dull and lifeless.

From that moment on, she was lost.

A fifteen-year-old girl, utterly captivated by that breathtaking instant.

Fortunately, the current her was a bedridden invalid for two full years, like a living corpse. She had seen the world, understood human nature, experienced life and death, and become a desolate person with ashes in place of a heart. She was no longer that ignorant fifteen-or-sixteen-year-old girl of yesteryear.

Only by stepping out of the fog and looking back as an outsider, after being clouded by confusion while in its midst, could she see how pitifully foolish her former self had been.

After Lady Xiao left, Shen Anning leaned against the headboard, calmly sorting through the chaotic memories of her past seven years and assessing her current situation.

This was her first year married into the Lu family. Her health had not yet deteriorated severely. Although she had given much to the Lu family, her losses in terms of wealth, energy, and physical well-being were still manageable. There was still time to turn back—

She wanted an amicable separation. In this life, she wanted to truly live the life she desired!

Yet she knew that achieving this completely was unrealistic.

Aside from the inescapable predicament of the imperially decreed marriage, how could a vulnerable woman—with no support, yet known throughout the capital, recognized by the emperor, and gossiped about by everyone after an amicable separation—find her footing in this new and unstable dynasty?

If she could meet such a tragic end, her fragrance faded and jade perished, even in the Lu family, how could she be sure she would thrive and feel like a fish in water elsewhere?

Return to the Shen family ancestral home restored to her by His Majesty, enjoy its immense wealth alone, make up for the regrets and losses of her past life, and live happily until old age and death?

Or perhaps seek another marriage and enjoy the blessing of having multiple wives?

Or even… return to Lingshui Village, where she had lived for fifteen years, with all the Shen family wealth bestowed upon her by the emperor?

If she were still fifteen or sixteen and unaware of the world’s dangers, she might have had a full measure of solitary courage.

But having died once, Shen Anning had learned a truth: carry treasure, inevitably attract wolves.

If she remained unmarried for life, could she, as a lone woman, guarantee she would live peacefully and securely until old age?

If she sought another marriage, how could she be sure she wouldn’t encounter another Lu Suian or Meng Anran?

Without certainty of better choices or opportunities, Shen Anning knew she dared not rashly decide to change her current circumstances. At least, not yet. Though the Lu family was detestable, it was still a temporary refuge she could not leave behind.

Moreover, she now had the foresight of seven years.

Moreover, the causes and effects of her past life were not entirely unrelated to her own actions.

Besides, would she really grant an amicable separation to pave the way for that wretched pair, Lu Suian and Meng Anran, to collude in their wicked schemes?

Heh, Shen Anning was not that magnanimous!

As for that venomous woman who had stolen her entire life, taken over all her wealth, owed her a life, and attempted to replace her completely, Shen Anning could not simply turn a blind eye or pretend nothing had happened.

As for that husband she had shared a bed and pillow with for seven years, she was not willing to let him off so easily either!

Thinking this, she felt a tightness creeping up her neck. Shen Anning quickly patted her chest to steady her breathing and slowly exhaled.

But if an amicable separation was not feasible for now, perhaps she should guard her true heart and treat herself well. Maybe, with time, everything would resolve itself.

She decided to take things one step at a time and plan slowly. Though an amicable separation seemed unrealistic, it did not mean there was no possibility of breaking the deadlock. Recalling the events of the next seven years, she thought perhaps she needed to find a monumental, heaven-sent opportunity—one that could offset the imperial favor.

Human effort can achieve anything!

For now, the most urgent matter was—

As Shen Anning pondered these things, her gaze did not stray an inch from Bai Tao’s figure, both inside and outside the room.

Bai Tao had seen Lady Xiao off and was now in the courtyard brewing the medicine she had personally fetched.

A first-rank senior maid of the wife of the heir apparent, yet doing such menial chores—all because Shen Anning did not trust anyone else with her food and medicine, and because most people in this courtyard were not genuinely willing to take orders from them.

Shen Anning had yet to establish her authority as the wife of the heir apparent.

While brewing medicine in the courtyard, Bai Tao occasionally sensed someone watching her. Worried about leaving her mistress alone in the room, she opened the window from time to time to check inside. After finishing the medicine and bringing it in, she quickly prepared some dried fruits and snacks, fearing the medicine might be too bitter. It was then that she realized no matter what she did or where she went, a pair of eyes seemed to follow her like a shadow.

Looking up, she met Shen Anning’s focused and earnest gaze. Bai Tao couldn’t help but touch her face repeatedly and ask, “Why are you staring at me like that, madam? Is there something on my face?”

As she spoke, she quickly took out a handkerchief to wipe her face.

But then Shen Anning suddenly threw off the covers and got out of bed. Bai Tao hastily stuffed the handkerchief into her waistband and rushed over to support her, urgently saying, “Why are you getting up? You still have a fever, and your body is weak. The doctor said you need to rest—”

Before she could finish, a warm, fragrant soft jade embrace enveloped her.

Shen Anning held Bai Tao tightly, clutching her with such care and tenderness, as if she were a precious treasure lost and found again.

“Xiao Tao, you’re still here… that’s wonderful…”

“Having you here is wonderful…”

“You must stay well… we must all… stay well…”

Shen Anning spoke these words one by one, her voice slightly choked with emotion. Before she could finish, her eyes had already begun to redden.

Bai Tao stood frozen in place, bewildered. What was wrong with her mistress, she wondered? Had the fever addled her mind?

Though confused, she was deeply moved by Shen Anning's incoherent, emotional words. Her eyes reddened as she hugged Shen Anning back tightly and said, "You've got it wrong, my lady. It's I who am lucky to have you. If not for your support all these years, if you hadn’t stepped in to rescue me when you did, I might have fallen into the hands of some wretched old man—how could I enjoy such a good life as I do now?"

Bai Tao spoke from the heart.

Yet, the more she said such things, the more Shen Anning's tears fell uncontrollably.

It wasn’t like that.

Xiao Tao had been someone Shen Anning intercepted from a trafficker on the road before she left Lingshui Village. Sold by her parents to become a concubine for a seventy-something town official, she had initially believed that following Shen Anning to the capital would mean a better life. But life with the Lu family brought its own humiliations, hardly better than the official's household. Within a year, she had vanished, her fate unknown.

Xiao Tao had taken the blame for Shen Anning, and whether she was beaten to death by Fang Shi or sold off, no one knew. After that palace banquet, Fang Shi sent people bursting into Chuanze Residence. They gagged her, bound her, and dragged her away openly and brazenly—after that, there was no news of her ever again.

Afterwards, no matter how desperately Shen Anning pleaded, Fang Shi remained tight-lipped, offering only that she had been taken away by traffickers and nothing more.

Later, Shen Anning spent large sums of money to curry favor with Fang Shi, hoping to learn of Xiao Tao’s whereabouts. Fang Shi accepted these "payments" without guilt but still refused to speak, holding this leverage to extort even more money.

On another front, Shen Anning spent money investigating with every trafficker in the capital. Even as she gradually grew into the role of a true noble household mistress, she never uncovered even a hint of Xiao Tao’s whereabouts.

To her dying day, she never knew whether Xiao Tao was alive or dead.

The bitterness that settled in her lungs began then, laying the groundwork for the tuberculosis that would eventually claim her.

"No, it’s me, it’s me—I am the one blessed to have you..."

Shen Anning shook her head vehemently, apologizing over and over in her heart, while repeating these seemingly senseless words aloud, as if stubbornly, childishly competing in their devotion.

"This time, I will protect you."

"I won’t let anyone bully you—or any of us—ever again."

She swore each word through gritted teeth.

Scorching tears fell onto Bai Tao’s neck, leaving her flustered and at a loss.

In the most of this year since she had entered the estate with her mistress, she had endured all sorts of humiliation and ridicule. But no matter how much Shen Anning yielded or endured, Bai Tao had never seen her shed a single tear.

She didn’t understand what was wrong with her mistress, why she was suddenly crying like a child, unable to stop, which reminded her of her younger sister when ill. Perhaps those who are weak and sick are inevitably more fragile. She was also deeply moved by her mistress’s sudden clarity and such sincere, open care. Immediately, she nodded emphatically and swore solemnly, word by word: "I will protect you too, my lady. As long as I’m here, no one will bully you—not even the heir apparent."

Just as mistress and maid clung to each other, baring their hearts, Huan Xi entered carrying a small copper pot. She froze at the sight of the two weeping together and made to retreat at once.

Unexpectedly, the next moment, a hand grasped hers.

"And Huan Xi too—all three of us must stay well."

Shen Anning wiped her tears, holding Bai Tao with one hand and Huan Xi with the other, speaking with grave sincerity.

As she said this, the tear stains still clung to her lashes, leaving her looking somewhat disheveled and embarrassed—a far cry from her usual composed and gentle demeanor.

Yet, with her eyes curved in a smile, she appeared to Huan Xi more beautiful than ever.

Huan Xi was stunned at first, then felt her heart clench.

She was the lowest-ranking cleaning maid in Chuanze Residence, unnoticed in this vast household, always at the receiving end of others’ bullying.

Though she didn’t understand why her mistress was suddenly treating her with such heartfelt sincerity, a person’s eyes could not lie.

Immediately, Huan Xi’s heart ached. She knelt and kowtowed deeply to Shen Anning, declaring, "As long as you do not disdain me, my lady, I pledge my life to serve you."

Shen Anning hurried to help Huan Xi to her feet.

See? Life actually had no dead ends.

Whether in her past life or this one, whether it was worth it or not, at least her world had always included them.

So, this rebirth would begin with treating herself well, nurturing her health, paving her own path—starting with protecting Xiao Tao and making amends to Huan Xi.