Chapter 36

Chapter 36

After doing those things to him and causing such harm, Wei Jinchuan said he loved him.

Shen Yue let out a bitter laugh at this abrupt turn of events, which had come without any warning.

Wei Jinchuan held him as if embracing some rare treasure, his arms firm and powerful, as if trying to merge Shen Yue into his very bones and blood. He didn’t even spare Shen Yue any room to breathe, making it hard to tell whether his "love" was genuine affection or a twisted form of hatred.

Shen Yue watched the young man clinging to him with cold indifference. Perhaps influenced by the earlier "I want to hear the truth," he didn’t feel the same restrictions as before. He was even able to push the man off him and ask coldly, "You done?"

Wei Jinchuan hadn’t expected to be pushed away. His damp eyelashes trembled slightly, as if he had suffered an immense grievance, looking utterly pitiful.

Pitiful, yet even more detestable.

Shen Yue lowered his eyelids, looking down mercilessly at the man kneeling on the sofa, his voice dripping with sarcasm: "Wei Jinchuan, why are you crying? What are you crying about now? Don’t tell me you’re crying because I don’t like you?"

Wei Jinchuan blinked, and tears rolled down his face like pearls. He had a sharp, aggressive appearance, but now, because he was crying, he looked more fragile, exuding a charm completely different from before.

Reason told him not to admit to Shen Yue’s words. He could hear the heavy sarcasm in Shen Yue’s tone, but he was too heartbroken—so heartbroken that he lost his voice. He shook his head hoarsely but couldn’t refute Shen Yue at all.

So Shen Yue laughed again, a laugh as beautiful and disarming as a clear moon and a warm sun.

Wei Jinchuan was momentarily dazed by his laughter, only to hear his icy, venomous voice again: "But isn’t this what you wanted? I’m just giving you what you wanted, Wei Jinchuan. You don’t like men; you only wanted to try with me out of a sense of responsibility. I’m letting you off the hook. I don’t need you to sacrifice yourself. What are you crying for?"

No, it’s not like that, it’s not like that...

Wei Jinchuan’s heart tightened. He wanted to speak, but he met Shen Yue’s contemptuous, sarcastic eyes. His heart was deeply wounded, and for a long moment, he couldn’t say a word.

The coldness in Shen Yue’s eyes made him shudder. Wei Jinchuan knew he wasn’t lying; he truly didn’t like him anymore.

But how could it be like this? How could he? How could Shen Yue pursue him first, make him fall deeper and deeper, and then withdraw so easily just when he had finally decided to face his own feelings?

His lips quivered slightly as he finally found his voice: "No, it’s not like that. I like you. I’ve liked you for a long time. I’m not lying to you."

He couldn’t bear the coldness in Shen Yue’s eyes and anxiously reached out to cover them: "...Don’t look at me like that."

With his hand over his face, Shen Yue could feel the other’s trembling even with his eyes closed. He pretended to rest for a few minutes. Wei Jinchuan also fell silent. In the vast living room, only occasional sobs could be heard. In the deep, wordless silence, Wei Jinchuan thought the earlier incident was about to be gently brushed aside when he suddenly heard Shen Yue call him: "Wei Jinchuan."

Wei Jinchuan’s heart trembled. He felt like a condemned prisoner, with Shen Yue as the only judge who could grant him release.

He hoped for forgiveness from Shen Yue but knew it wouldn’t come easily. He wanted to repeat his earlier tactic and cover the mouth that would deliver the final verdict, yet he clung to a sliver of hope. Even though he knew Shen Yue’s "liking" for a long time had been fake, forced by that sense of obligation he felt he couldn't refuse, he had immersed himself in this false affection for too long and couldn’t help but indulge in it. Even after Shen Yue’s admission, he still held onto one last fantasy.

What if? What if this was just a false dream, and as long as Shen Yue spoke again, they would return to how they were before?

He hesitated and struggled inwardly. He knew that since they had torn off the facade, Shen Yue wouldn’t say anything kind, yet he was still trapped in Shen Yue's past tolerance and indulgence, unsure what the right course of action was.

Taking a step forward might bring forgiveness, but if he guessed wrong... he might be completely cut off by Shen Yue for good.

The two thoughts tangled in his mind. Before Wei Jinchuan could decide, Shen Yue spoke again: "Let’s call it quits."

Wei Jinchuan’s heart skipped a beat.

Shen Yue didn’t specify what to call quits or how, but the exhaustion and coldness in his voice were palpable, distant as if they were the most unrelated strangers in the world. Wei Jinchuan opened his mouth but found it difficult to speak. The kindness Shen Yue had shown him during this time made him instinctively want to voice his righteous indignation, but his fingers covering the other’s eyes weakly parted, and he saw Shen Yue’s eyes. In that instant, he came to his senses and didn’t dare say anything reckless.

It was clearly him who started this first!

Wei Jinchuan was both shocked and furious, but more than anything, he felt powerless sorrow.

Shen Yue wanted to "call it quits" with him!

Wei Jinchuan didn’t understand how things had come to this. It was Shen Yue who liked him first, and he could feel it until just a month ago. He couldn’t comprehend how, if it was genuine liking, it could fade so quickly in just a month. The only explanation was that Shen Yue’s earlier affection had an ulterior motive. Once he got what he wanted and Wei Jinchuan’s value was exhausted, he was discarded like trash.

That time... was when he had just slept with Shen Yue.

Wei Jinchuan’s eyes turned red: "Is it because I..."

He almost asked, but at the critical moment, Shen Yue brushed aside his covering hand, revealing his icy, piercing eyes fully, like a sharp knife stabbing straight into Wei Jinchuan’s heart.

Wei Jinchuan panicked, his eyes reddening again: "I don’t want to, I don’t agree, I won’t accept it."

"Feelings aren’t a game," Shen Yue said, remaining calm as if he had anticipated this response. "You already know, and I can’t keep pretending. Actually, we aren’t really suitable, are we? You don’t like men. I was unwilling before, but now I’ve accepted it. I can’t change you. Like whoever you want. If you feel you need some compensation, within my means, I can give it to you."

He smiled indifferently, as if the earlier argument had never happened, as if the standoff during this time had vanished. He took on the tone of a reasonable elder, advising Wei Jinchuan from the perspective of experience: "As long as you don’t try to take Shenghua from me, I can give you anything."

Wei Jinchuan glared at him: "What would I want with Shenghua?"

"It's best that you don't," Shen Yue said sincerely. Shenghua was his life's work. Though it couldn’t compare to his family's company, he had built it from scratch, and emotionally, it was different. It was the bedrock of his confidence and would be the only unwavering support in his future life.

He asked: "Then what do you want? Money? Cars? A house? That probably isn’t right either. Your family spoils you so much; how could you lack these things?"

"I don’t want any of that," Wei Jinchuan stared at him fixedly, afraid that if he blinked, Shen Yue would disappear. "I want you."

Shen Yue met his gaze and suddenly let out a derisive laugh.

Wei Jinchuan felt uneasy at his laughter. He didn’t know what he had said wrong again, feeling like everything he said was mistaken. He wanted to fix this, but Shen Yue didn’t give him the chance, holding out his hand: "Cigarettes."

Wei Jinchuan frowned: "Why are you smoking again? I’ve told you it’s bad for your..."

Before he could finish, his words died under Shen Yue’s cold gaze. Wei Jinchuan’s eyes slowly turned toward the trash can. Shen Yue said coldly: "I don’t want the ones from the trash. The last two were thrown away by you earlier. Go buy me a new pack."

Wei Jinchuan wanted to lecture him, but Shen Yue wasn’t indulging him: "If you can’t do it, then get out."

"..."

Unable to do otherwise, Wei Jinchuan had to comply. Worried that Shen Yue wouldn’t open the door if he went downstairs, he simply ordered a delivery for cigarettes.

When the cigarettes arrived, Shen Yue took one and held it between his lips but didn’t light it. He silently stared at the other person without saying a word, but Wei Jinchuan understood the meaning in his eyes and grumbled: "Why do you still need someone else to..."

"If you can’t do it, get out of here."

Shen Yue leaned back on the sofa and laughed softly.

His laugh was mesmerizing, making people unconsciously focus on him, wanting to fulfill all his demands, even willing to pluck the stars and moon from the sky for him.

Because he had a cigarette in his mouth, Shen Yue’s words were slightly muffled. He took out his phone and casually opened a chat window, his voice laughing but heartless: "With one message or one call, plenty of people would rush over to wait on me. What makes you think that just because you want me, you can have me? I was nice to you for a couple of days, and you really think you’re special, don’t you?"

Wei Jinchuan opened his mouth but finally compromised under Shen Yue’s sharp gaze, found a lighter, and lit the cigarette in Shen Yue’s mouth.

As the flame flared to life, Shen Yue’s cold, clear face was illuminated softly, adding a false warmth.

Shen Yue took a deep drag, then blew all the smoke into Wei Jinchuan’s face. The latter coughed, turning his head to avoid it, but his chin was gripped, making it hard to move.

Shen Yue’s words came with a swirl of smoke, faint and not unpleasant, but for those who disliked it, it was like hell: "Like me?"

Wei Jinchuan frowned, enduring the discomfort, and nodded slightly.

Shen Yue: "Since when?"

Wei Jinchuan paused, his expression suddenly becoming uneasy: "Ten years ago."

Ten years ago. Having received an unexpected answer, Shen Yue paused his ash-flicking finger, a faint, teasing smile playing on his lips. "You were that young and already had crushes?"

A decade earlier, Shen Yue was still in high school. Back then, he wasn’t as wild as he is now—he was just a ridiculously cocky and naive teenager who’d stop to admire his reflection in any mirror he passed, thinking there was no one in the world as good-looking as him and worrying about how unfair it’d be to whoever married him someday.

Things are different now. Now he likes men, and since gay marriage isn’t legal here, it pretty much nips those problems in the bud.

Except... he didn’t remember ever crossing paths with Wei Jinchuan.

Shen Yue eyed him skeptically. Seeing that Shen Yue had indeed forgotten, Wei Jinchuan looked dazed and disappointed. "Back then, I went to the Shen family home with my parents. I got lost while playing around, and you were the one who found me and brought me back."

Shen Yue had absolutely no memory of it.

But he found the reason for Wei Jinchuan’s affection overly dramatic, almost like a joke. He raised an eyebrow. "And then?"

"And then..." Wei Jinchuan hesitated, seemingly too embarrassed to continue, stammering and refusing to go on.

Shen Yue took another drag from his cigarette. He lifted his hand and gave Wei Jinchuan’s cheek a light but firm pat. "So many people like me—why should I accept you?"

"Then who else would you accept?"

Years of ingrained personality traits aren’t easily changed. After maintaining a gloomy facade for over two hours since the airport, Wei Jinchuan finally reverted to his true self, still as easy to set off as ever. "Zhao Lian? Zhong Yuan? Zhou Yutang? Or that foreign guy?"

Shen Yue just looked at him calmly, saying nothing.

Under that interrogative gaze, Wei Jinchuan went through rounds of self-reflection. His expression stiffened, his heart filled with frustration. He didn’t know if he’d spoken too harshly, misjudged Shen Yue again, or made some other mistake. But Shen Yue’s silence made his heart race—he’d been through it too many times and was afraid of reliving it. His earlier bravado deflated, and he lowered his eyes. "I’m different from them."

Shen Yue finished his cigarette and stubbed it out in the ashtray. Though his tone remained harsh, he at least spoke. "How are you different?"

"...I," Wei Jinchuan thought for a long moment before coming up with what wasn’t much of a selling point, "your body needs me."

Shen Yue paused, his gaze sharpening, clearly displeased with Wei Jinchuan’s choice of words.

Wei Jinchuan knew he’d been misunderstood and explained, "What I mean is... you can’t control it, but it seems I can—Shen Yue, I can help you."

"..." Recalling how the "world’s will" had crumbled earlier because of Wei Jinchuan’s words, all the sarcastic comebacks Shen Yue had ready suddenly died on his lips.

This was something he genuinely couldn’t refute—something he genuinely needed.

Shen Yue had actually forgotten about this earlier. Now that Wei Jinchuan brought it up, though he wanted to mock or scold him as before, he was afraid that if Wei Jinchuan reacted and let that world’s will manipulate him again, he had to suppress the urge to vent.

He didn’t respond directly, instead brushing Wei Jinchuan off with the excuse that he "needed time to consider."

When the house finally returned to quiet, Shen Yue took a shower. He had intended to adjust to the time difference, but after his shower, his phone notified him that someone had replied to his message.

Shen Yue’s real life was fulfilling, so he rarely used social apps. It took him a moment to remember that he’d downloaded this app earlier to understand the world’s will. Unfortunately, people online were unreliable, and he had planned to delete it—but he must have been too busy and forgotten.

Now, a private message popped up:

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[Hey, you weren’t tricked by the system, were you?]