Chapter 90

Chapter 90

Shen Cuo, who had always been rule-abiding, defied an elder for the first time in his life, leaving Old Mrs. Shen utterly furious.

On the way back, the two remained silent the entire journey. Shen Yue’s heart was in turmoil, unsure of when Shen Cuo had arrived home or how much of their conversation he had overheard.

Did he hear about him causing their grandfather’s death? Does he know about his past feelings for him? Shen Yue stole glances at Shen Cuo’s expression but found no clues, leaving him on pins and needles.

He was lost in thought when a voice suddenly came from above and to his right: "Get out."

As if jolted awake from a dream, Shen Yue looked around and realized they had already arrived home. He unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car.

He looked at Shen Cuo, wanting to explain himself, but before he could speak, Shen Cuo didn’t wait for him and turned to enter the elevator alone.

Shen Yue had no choice but to swallow his words and follow silently.

He had thought he wouldn’t escape unscathed today, but to his surprise, Shen Cuo didn’t ask a single question the entire way. Instead, Shen Yue felt as if ants were crawling under his skin—the longer the silence lasted, the more uneasy he became.

Whether Shen Cuo asked or not, it was a form of endless torture.

The silence continued until they reached home. Shen Cuo didn’t even glance at him and headed straight to the kitchen to cook. Unable to hold back any longer, Shen Yue called out, "Brother?"

Shen Cuo stopped and looked back at him.

His gaze was cool and detached, devoid of any discernible emotion. Shen Yue grew flustered under his stare and instantly regretted calling out to him.

Instead, he asked an entirely unrelated question: "Weren’t you... weren’t you supposed to have dinner at the old house yesterday? Why are you back now?"

After a few seconds, Shen Cuo laughed, a hint of frustration that he wasn't living up to his potential in his tone. "You spent the whole journey brewing that up, and that’s the piece of nonsense you came up with?"

"..." Shen Yue didn’t quite understand his meaning and simply blinked, staying silent.

Shen Cuo said, "I thought even if you didn’t try to make excuses, you’d at least ask what I heard."

His tone didn’t sound angry, so Shen Yue’s heart slowly settled. Feeling bolder, he took the opening Shen Cuo offered: "Then what did you hear?"

"I heard my younger brother say he likes me," Shen Cuo stared intently at him. "I didn’t mishear, did I?"

Shen Yue’s face paled. He wanted to argue, to deny it, but since Shen Cuo had heard it with his own ears, any denial would only be a clumsy cover-up that couldn't hide his guilt.

Shen Cuo didn’t wait for an answer and simply asked, "Why didn’t you keep liking me?"

"After you turned eighteen, you suddenly became distant. At first, I thought it was because Grandpa’s death had hit you hard. I always believed that."

But after overhearing his conversation with their grandmother, it was clear that wasn’t the case.

Shen Yue closed his eyes in despair: Great, his brother had heard everything.

"How much did you hear?" Shen Yue’s fingers curled unconsciously. "Shouldn’t you be at work at this hour? Why did you go back suddenly?"

He had deliberately chosen a time when Shen Cuo wouldn’t be home, thinking he could resolve the matter alone.

"..."

Shen Yue met his gaze, wanting to argue, to act spoiled and evade the issue like he used to, to throw a tantrum... He ran through every possible way to escape in his mind, but he couldn't bring himself to act on any of them. In the long, silent standoff, Shen Yue and Shen Cuo’s reflections in each other’s eyes seemed to accuse one another, until Shen Yue finally gave in.

He was pulled back to that rainy afternoon.

His eagerly anticipated eighteenth birthday, the bold, unrestrained days of his youth.

It was also the catalyst that pushed him into the abyss, turning his relationship with Shen Cuo into the awkward, undefined mess it was now.

"Brother," Shen Yue’s eyelashes trembled slightly. He didn’t dare look up, so he kept his head lowered, appearing lonely and pitiful. "Do you remember how Grandpa passed away?"

"I remember," Shen Cuo said. "It was raining that day. Grandpa fell and hit his head while walking. There was no one around at the time, so no one found him in time, and he missed the best chance for rescue."

In truth, there were many unanswered questions about the incident. Given the old man's advanced age, someone should have been with him at all times. He shouldn’t have gone out alone, and it shouldn’t have taken so long for anyone to notice something was wrong. He shouldn’t have died such an untimely death.

But it happened exactly that way, catching everyone off guard in a manner no one had anticipated.

Only now, eight years later, did Shen Cuo hear a different version from his younger brother: "That’s not what happened, Brother. Grandpa died because of me."

A crack finally appeared in Shen Cuo’s icy composure.

Shen Yue liked Shen Cuo—even before he understood what "like" meant, he was destined to be entangled with that name for life.

He hadn’t hidden his feelings well, but fortunately, his relationship with Shen Cuo was special. All his admiration and affection could be explained as a younger brother’s reverence for his older brother. Even Shen Yue himself hadn’t initially realized how different his feelings were—until he had a dream.

He had a dream about Shen Cuo, which led to his first wet dream.

During that period, Shen Yue was restless, torn between self-reproach and lingering fascination. This state lasted a long time until the old man noticed and even had a talk with him.

Of course, at the time, Shen Yue, who still believed he and Shen Cuo were biological brothers, couldn’t possibly confess the dream.

But the old man was shrewd. He quickly coaxed the truth out of Shen Yue and said dismissively, "I thought it was something serious. Is this really worth skipping meals over? Look how thin you’ve gotten."

Embarrassed and flustered at having his secret exposed, Shen Yue defensively retorted, "What do you mean, ‘just this’? He’s my brother, my own brother! Shouldn’t you be scolding me?"

"What’s there to scold?" The old man’s eyes twinkled, and he suddenly laughed, lowering his voice conspiratorially. "Actually, there’s a secret I’ve never told you."

Shen Yue was stunned. How could the old man be in the mood to talk about "secrets" at a time like this?

The old man looked around dramatically, ensuring no one was nearby, and said, "Actually, you’re not your parents’ biological child. They found you and brought you home."

"..." If someone had told Shen Yue this cheesy joke when he was younger, it might have worked. But now that he was older, he couldn’t even be bothered to roll his eyes. "You’re so boring."

But then he noticed the old man’s expression shift, becoming visibly uneasy. "You’re not serious, are you?"

"Why would I lie?" The old man rolled his eyes. "Otherwise, why do you think everyone says you and your brother don’t look alike? Did you really think one took after Dad and the other after Mom? Tell me, who do you resemble between your parents?"

"..." Shen Yue truly couldn’t say.

"Then... then I..." The information was overwhelming. Shen Yue didn’t know what to say, only feeling that the old man was being unusually calm. "Where did they find me? Am I really an unwanted wild child?"

—Since childhood, Shen Rong and Chen Zhen had paid little attention to him, and many relatives liked to tease him, calling him an unwanted wild child. Back then, young Shen Yue believed them and would cry every time, until Shen Cuo stepped in to defend him.

"Not exactly," the old man’s face took on a nostalgic expression. "Your grandfather and I were comrades-in-arms. Your parents met in the military, but they..." He paused, glancing at Shen Yue. "Well, let’s just say their line of work was very dangerous."

Shen Yue was shocked. Based on his understanding of the old man, it was entirely possible he was spinning tall tales with a straight face—after all, he had done it before. But this time, it seemed real.

He wanted to ask more: "Then I..."

"Why ask so many questions?" the old man cut him off impatiently. "I can’t remember the details anymore. Asking me is useless. I told you this not so you’d interrogate me, but to say—if you like your brother, then like him. I don’t know what’s so great about that brat, but at least it’s not incest, so you can rest easy."

Shen Yue fell silent, stunned by the old man’s overly accepting attitude. He had expected a beating once his feelings for his brother were exposed.

Though he wanted to press further about his origins, the old man refused to say more. Shen Yue knew it was futile to keep asking. There would be plenty of time later—he’d find a way to uncover the truth eventually.

Shen Yue asked again, "So you’re not even angry?"

Old Master Shen looked at him strangely. "Why would I be angry?"

Shen Yue was stumped by the question. "Well... my brother and I are both men, and he's my parents' only child. Doesn’t that bother you?"

"Why should it bother me?" Old Master Shen said matter-of-factly. "If anyone’s lineage is ending, it’s your father’s, not mine. I don’t have just one son, and your brother isn’t my only grandson. If he’s gone a bit crooked, then he’s crooked. The Shen family has plenty of roots—what’s so unusual about one or two growing a little sideways?"

"..." It made so much sense that he actually couldn’t argue.

In short, under Old Master Shen’s almost quirky guidance, Shen Yue accepted the fact that he liked Shen Cuo and began to see it as a perfectly normal thing.

Having been pampered since childhood, Shen Yue had never suffered much. Whatever he wanted was immediately handed to him. Especially now, with Old Master Shen’s support, he felt even more justified in accepting Shen Cuo’s kindness. Under the name of being a younger brother, he stayed by his side, openly enjoying boyfriend-level treatment.

His life had been too smooth, and eventually, even this subtle treatment no longer satisfied him. He wanted to make it official and become Shen Cuo’s legitimate boyfriend.

He had it all planned out. Shen Cuo was so good to him—even if he didn’t agree at first, Shen Yue could just act cute and coax him a little. After all, as long as it wasn’t a matter of principle, his brother had no principles when it came to him.

He began making preparations. It was near the end of high school, the most stressful time academically, but with his family paving the way and his own excellent grades, Shen Yue felt completely emboldened about pursuing a relationship. He even consulted Old Master Shen for advice, rejecting one confession plan after another. Eventually, Shen Yue decided the generation gap was too wide and kicked the old man out of the "planning committee."

He finally settled on confessing to Shen Cuo on his eighteenth birthday. Over the years, Shen Cuo had been like both a brother and a father to him, his de facto guardian. Once Shen Yue was an adult, they could move beyond those roles and have fewer reservations.

It rained lightly that day—not exactly great weather. But Shen Yue had planned it well. Since it was raining, they could stay indoors. He could use the chill as an excuse to hug Shen Cuo. This kind of weather was perfect for sleeping, and he hadn't slept in the same bed as his brother for a long time since he’d hit puberty.

But today, he could snuggle under the blankets with his brother, listening to the rain outside as they slept the entire afternoon away.

He invited Old Master Shen, who had mocked his plan as childish, partly to prove himself and partly to seek approval. The old man, who had been arguing with him until he was red in the face just days before, beamed with delight when he saw the setup, laughing and scolding him that he wasn't completely hopeless after all.

Shen Yue waited with anticipation, waiting to get Shen Cuo to come over.

Suddenly, Old Master Shen looked around and noticed something missing. His brow furrowed, and after a long moment, it finally clicked. He asked, "Why are there no flowers?"

Shen Yue found it odd. "My brother’s a guy. What does he need flowers for?"

"What's gender got to do with it? You’re confessing your feelings—if you don’t even have a bouquet, forget your brother, even an old man in his seventies or eighties like me wouldn’t say yes," Old Master Shen grumbled crankily, leaning on his cane as he headed out. "Wait here. I’ll go buy some for you. I gave your grandmother so many flowers; I know which kind works best."

He pushed the door open and hurried into the rain.

And he never returned.

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Author's Note: Still struggling with writer's block today...