Chapter 14 Staying with Him All Night

Chapter 14: Staying with Him All Night

Lin Haoda had never spent a night in a hospital in his whole life. When his parents left, he was barely four years old.

As a kid, he used to secretly cry, maybe because he felt totally abandoned in this world. But as he got older, Lin Haoda was glad he didn't have any gruesome, life-or-death separation scenes burned into his memory.

Maybe compared to others, he got less comfort from Guan Junshan. Lin Haoda wasn't good with words and figured empty reassurance didn't help anyway. So when Guan Junshan finished his burger and came out of the bathroom drying his hands, Lin Haoda slid the unopened fries toward him with that innocent look, like he was asking "Want more?"

Luckily, after a few encounters, Guan Junshan had gotten used to how Lin Haoda thinks. He declined Lin Haoda's enthusiastic offer and walked over to sit on the bench.

Lin Haoda rustled around in the bag and pulled out a hot chocolate pie. "How about this?"

Guan Junshan suddenly thought of something else. He frowned and turned to look at him. "Did you not get enough to eat tonight?"

Lin Haoda knew he was referring to the meal at Victoria Harbour earlier. A flicker of hesitation crossed his face, and he answered guiltily, "I... ate plenty."

The answer was self-evident. Guan Junshan shot him a glance, looked away, and asked, "After you left the restaurant, why didn't you just go home?"

Lin Haoda told the truth: "The rain was too heavy. I couldn't get a taxi."

"And even when I did get one, it always got canceled for some reason."

Guan Junshan was quiet for a beat, then said, "Don't buy lottery tickets. You'd never win."

Lin Haoda realized he was beating around the bush about his bad luck.

But he had long gotten used to it and wasn't angry. He quietly finished the pie, squatted down to pick up the crumbs, and tossed them in the stairwell trash can.

It was still raining, and the dampness crept up the stairs, making his nose tickle. Lin Haoda never asked what time the surgery would be over. After Guan Junshan answered a few messages, he looked up and saw Lin Haoda sitting across from him, watching something on his phone.

If what happened earlier tonight hadn't happened, Guan Junshan might have a better impression of him. Maybe sensing Guan Junshan staring, Lin Haoda looked up, his eyes questioning, and their gazes met.

Guan Junshan got up, walked over, and cleared his throat. He was about to ask when he'd leave when he caught a glimpse of his phone screen and the question turned into, "What are you watching?"

Lin Haoda honestly held up his phone and showed him. Guan Junshan stared at the screen for a couple seconds to make sure, then frowned. "Animal World."

Lin Haoda smiled at that, his eyes crinkling behind his glasses, his lips red and damp, "You could say that."

Then the next scene popped up and Guan Junshan finally realized he was watching a hermit crab video again.

"You really like them?"

Lin Haoda looked up, eyes bright, a little smile playing on his lips. "Do I? I guess."

He paused the video and continued, "At first I felt bad for them, having to drag their houses around. But later I started to envy them—even if they drift across the ocean, they always have a home."

There was a hint of envy and sadness in Lin Haoda's voice. Guan Junshan waited a moment, then realized he wasn't going to say more.

Guan Junshan stared at him for a few seconds, hesitated, then nodded. "That's really unique."

Hard to tell if he meant Lin Haoda or his explanation.

"Thank you." Lin Haoda showed a slight smile to him.

Maybe this talk made him wrongly think Guan Junshan was interested too. Lin Haoda took out one earbud and held it out. "Wanna watch?"

Normally, Guan Junshan would've politely said no and gone back to his seat to do his own thing.

But obviously, this wasn't a normal moment. It wasn't just that he'd eaten a burger he'd never normally eat, or that he'd let Lin Haoda stay. More importantly, he didn't immediately think to refuse.

Because hesitation itself was already the most out-of-character emotion in his ordinary life.

Lin Haoda waited a long time, and was about to look away in disappointment when Guan Junshan reached out and took the earbud, then sat down with one seat between them.

The science show was for adults, so it wasn't very entertaining. Plus, hermit crabs are pretty boring: timid, fragile, they hide in their shells at the slightest provocation.

Guan Junshan hadn't wasted time on things with no practical value in ages. Sleep was for recharging, meetings were for making money—what was the point of a useless phone video?

But with the vast blue waves and the soft scuttling of hermit crabs crossing the beach, Guan Junshan's tense nerves somehow loosened, and his awareness drifted through him like the incoming tide, carrying him back to a tropical island where he learned to dive as a kid—blazing sun, clear skies.

The videos Lin Haoda had on his phone added up to over thirty minutes. Fifteen minutes in, he noticed Guan Junshan next to him had fallen asleep.

The hallway was dim. The phone screen lit up his high nose bridge and chin, casting a soft glow. Lin Haoda turned to look at him for a beat before remembering to take the earbud out of his ear.

He reached for the exposed earbud, but Guan Junshan was too tall and leaning against the wall. Lin Haoda accidentally brushed his earlobe—colder than his own fingers, like a raindrop on his fingertip.

Guan Junshan seemed to notice, shifting his neck with his eyes still closed. Lin Haoda had to wait until he was sound asleep before carefully pulling out the earbud.

Just as he was about to pull his hand away, Guan Junshan suddenly grabbed his wrist. His palm was burning hot, and he gripped hard. Lin Haoda tried to pull free but couldn't. Then Guan Junshan suddenly opened his eyes, frowned, and stared at him.

"..."

Lin Haoda froze, scared to move, like he'd been caught doing something wrong.

"Mr. Guan," he swallowed nervously and asked, "Are you awake?"

Guan Junshan looked a little dazed. Instead of answering, he asked, "What time is it?"

"Almost two." Lin Haoda glanced at the clock on the wall. "Still early."

"Mm." Guan Junshan loosened his grip a little. His eyelids drooped and fluttered heavily. "Wake me if anything happens."

"Okay." Lin Haoda said softly, "Go to sleep."

Guan Junshan vaguely hummed in response. His hand still held Lin Haoda's wrist. His breathing gradually steadied, warm against the back of Lin Haoda's hand.

Because of the awkward angle, their shoulders kept brushing. Guan Junshan's body temperature was much higher than his. The heat source steadily transferred through the fabric. Lin Haoda's neck felt a little warm, and he tried to move his wrist again, still in vain.

Afraid that struggling more would wake him, Lin Haoda gave up and just shifted to the seat next to him.

Fortunately, Guan Junshan didn't sleep for long. When he opened his eyes again, seeing the white ceiling and faint emergency lights, it took him a moment to realize where he was.

With this awkward posture, half of Lin Haoda's shoulder was completely numb and had lost all strength. He had to lean slightly against Guan Junshan's shoulder to find a comfortable spot for support.

Guan Junshan moved his stiff neck. The tip of his nose brushed against the top of Lin Haoda's head. He found Lin Haoda nestled in his arms playing a game—a simple match-three game that could be operated with one hand. Guan Junshan glanced at their current posture and recalled the situation just before he fell asleep, unable to understand how such an intimate posture had come about.

"Lin Haoda." Guan Junshan spoke, his voice slightly hoarse. "What are you doing?"

"Almost there!" Lin Haoda's body stiffened. He couldn't sit up from his embrace for a moment, and instead rubbed against his chest twice reluctantly. "My hand is numb."

But Guan Junshan frowned, pushing him out of his embrace impatiently, his expression not looking good. "Why are you so close?"

Lin Haoda paused for a few seconds. This time, he finally found an opportunity to complain, "Mr. Guan, you were holding my wrist and wouldn't let go!"

Guan Junshan looked down. His right hand was still indeed gripping Lin Haoda's wrist. He fell silent for a moment, stared at his face without a word for a little while, then cleared his throat. "I don't remember that."

Lin Haoda stared at him like he couldn't believe it. "Don't you remember when I took your earbud out?"

"..."

"It's because I watched hermit crabs with you." After a while, Guan Junshan finally found a reason.

Lin Haoda still didn't say a word, waiting to hear how he would explain himself.

Guan Junshan let go of him, his expression somewhat cold and arrogant, as if he wanted to say something but stopped. "...Forget it."

The hermit crabs Guan Junshan had watched before falling asleep also crawled through his short dream, lasting over ten minutes, each waving enormous pincers as they chased him. He had to hold tightly to a buoy on the sea surface to keep from sinking.

But saying something like that dream out loud in front of Lin Haoda would be too childish, so Guan Junshan didn't continue.

Lin Haoda, however, had a hint of a gentle smile in his eyes, as if seeing through him, and let out a soft "Oh."

At five in the morning, the red light at the operating room door finally went out, and Guan Junshan's mother was wheeled out afterwards.

Her eyes were tightly closed, her body covered with various tubes, even breathing required external support, making her look very fragile. Guan Junshan walked to the bedside, crouched down to take her hand, and whispered something. Lin Haoda stood too far away to hear clearly, but he saw Guan Junshan's eyes slightly reddened and the corners of his eyes moist.

The sky gradually brightened. In the morning light, Guan Junshan escorted her to the door of the intensive care unit. The doctor said she needed two more days of observation. Lin Haoda watched Guan Junshan sign a stack of forms, then stand by the glass window for a long time. The light fell on his broad shoulders, forming a lonely silhouette.

Lin Haoda didn't make a sound to break the silence. He just stood far behind Guan Junshan, but even from a distance, he could still feel sadness and a pang of softness.

At that moment, Guan Junshan suddenly turned around and walked toward him. Lin Haoda stood there dumbfounded. In an instant, Guan Junshan was right in front of him. He took his suit jacket from Lin Haoda's hands and then pulled out his phone from it.

The two were very close. Lin Haoda smelled the familiar aftershave scent on him again. After hesitating for a long time, he finally couldn't help but ask, "Are you okay?"

Guan Junshan didn't answer. Lin Haoda didn't mind it much. He continued in a very soft voice, "Do you need to rest? You've been up all night."

Guan Junshan slightly raised his head, he lowered his eyes to look at him—a very deep look.

But in the end, he said nothing and didn't take Lin Haoda's advice. He turned and went to the stairwell to make a phone call.