Chapter 19

Chapter 19

An'an, don’t be afraid. We can grow new roots.

First, find the nearest breakfast shop to where you live and buy a cup of soy milk. Go see the world of everyday life, get familiar with the surrounding environment.

Stick with it for a while, until you’ve built a new connection with this place.

You can also greet the people you see often. Emotional bonds between people can help you quickly “take root” in a new environment.

If you want to get to know a strange place, you can also check out these places:

Local parks,

Streets, supermarkets…

These are usually spots with local cultural flavor. You can wander around, then pick a place you like, visit at a fixed time, and leave your own unique memories.

For example, take a walk in the park, buy a snack on a food street, or get a membership card at a supermarket. These will give you a sense of belonging.

Anyway, don’t be afraid. Blend in slowly, take your time. You’re not alone…

Gu Shenhan finished reading with mixed emotions, gently put the phone back in its place, and looked at the sleeping person.

Probably still in pain from the wound, he wasn’t sleeping very peacefully either. His brows were slightly furrowed, and he had a large pillow propped behind his waist, likely to keep himself from unconsciously turning over.

Gu Shenhan gently pulled the blanket up a bit and tried to touch Rong Yu'an’s face. But just a centimeter away, he withdrew his hand.

After all, he didn’t want to wake him up; if he startled him, it would be a loss.

But it seemed he’d be even less able to sleep now. Maybe he should also have a chat with Teacher Dolphin.

Rong Yu'an woke up, vaguely sensing a faint scent of red wine in the air. But it was too subtle for him to be sure. So he looked around, got up to wash up, and then went to Douhua Jiang for breakfast.

This was a local chain store, pretty bustling. In the morning, there were many people ordering takeout and delivery orders as well.

Rong Yu'an was good-looking, and since he came every day, the owner lady recognized him. Seeing him, she greeted, “Hey, handsome, you’re back again. Same as yesterday?”

Rong Yu'an said, “Yes, Auntie. I want extra ketchup on the youtiao pie.”

The owner lady said, “Okay, I’ll add a bit more for you in a bit.”

Rong Yu'an found a seat and sat down.

The owner lady asked, “The guy who came with you the last couple of days—he didn’t come today?”

Rong Yu'an said, “No. He had his own stuff to do. And I can already find my way here now, so it’s fine if he doesn’t come.”

Today, Lian Dong hadn’t gone out with him; he came alone. It wasn’t far—about seven hundred meters from Cuixi Garden—so he just walked there.

There was a young girl helping in the shop, the owner’s daughter. She looked about fourteen or fifteen, very cheerful, apparently on break from school.

She brought the food to the table, smiling with two dimples: “Handsome brother, you cut your hair. The day you had long hair, I took one look and thought you were a girl, and the other person was your partner.”

Rong Yu'an said, “No, that’s not it…”

When he said this, he looked a bit nervous, staring straight ahead, then suddenly lowered his head.

Gu Shenhan hadn’t expected that following him over would lead to hearing something like that.

So he sat down across from Rong Yu'an and said without hesitation to the girl, “The person you saw was an employee of mine. I’m the one who’s his partner.”

“Ah, hahaha…” The girl laughed awkwardly. “Sorry about that. Would you like some breakfast too, sir?”

“Yeah, the same as my partner’s.” After saying this, Gu Shenhan brushed the back of his hand against Rong Yu'an’s. “Why are your hands this cold? Are you feeling cold?”

“Uh, it’s fine. Brother Han, why are you here?”

“Wrong name again.”

“It’s not needed here.”

“I need it.”

“Huh?”

“I like hearing you say it.” As he spoke, Gu Shenhan draped his jacket over Rong Yu'an. “It’s autumn now; it’s cold in the morning and evening. Why didn’t you wear more?”

“I’ll warm up once I eat breakfast.”

The owner’s daughter brought over the freshly prepared soy milk and red bean flatbread: “The youtiao pie will be a little longer; I’ll bring it over when it’s ready.”

Gu Shenhan said okay, and placed his own cup, which was hotter, into Rong Yu'an’s hands.

Rong Yu'an said, “Mine is still warm too.”

Gu Shenhan said, “This one is hotter. From now on, if you want to eat breakfast here in the morning, I’ll come with you. On weekends, when I have time, I’ll take you to check out other places.”

Rong Yu'an didn’t know why he was doing this all of a sudden. After a pause, he said, “You don’t have to, Brother Han. You taught me to shop online. I bought a map. I can find it on my own. Yesterday Lian Dong showed me how to use navigation too. I’m still learning. This morning, I came here using the voice navigation—really convenient. You don’t have to go out of your way to come with me.”

Now, whenever Gu Shenhan saw Rong Yu'an’s hair, his heart ached. He’d liked it so much, but he cut it without hesitation. He was really tough on himself.

He also switched the hot youtiao pie with Rong Yu'an’s: “If you won’t even spend time with your own partner, then there’s not much else in this world worth spending time on. Eat up, it’ll get cold.”

“But mine has more ketchup.”

“Tsk, you’re such a kid.” Having said that, Gu Shenhan took the plate over and asked the owner for some extra ketchup. “Better now?”

“Mm.” Rong Yu'an smiled and nodded, taking a big bite and squinting happily like a satisfied kitten. He had already resembled one a bit, and now with shorter hair, he looked even more like it—all soft and fluffy, making you want to ruffle his hair.

“Why’d you send back the stuff you bought?”

“I felt like none of it was really necessary. We’ve already got too much food at home, can’t finish it. I already have a water cup. And as for plushies, I’m too old for them anyway.”

“Then what does make a difference to you?”

“…I’m not sure.”

It felt like no matter what he did, something was always missing. Like an old vase in storage—a shame to toss, but useless when you take it out.

There was another worry he’d been deliberately avoiding: what if the original Rong Yu'an came back? What would he do then? Even though it seemed unlikely, he’d survived falling into the water, so why couldn’t the Rong Yu'an here?

Then they’d find out he wasn’t the real “Rong Yu'an.”

He was only himself when he was racing horses in the paddock, when he painted or wrote calligraphy in the lounge, or when he fought back in the restroom. Other times, he felt like he was just trying hard to become someone else.

And he wasn’t even doing a good job of learning.

He couldn’t forget who he was, and he couldn’t fully be himself either.

He seemed trapped in that crack, squeezed until he had almost lost the shape he should have had.

"An An, what do you think family should be like?" Gu Shenhan suddenly asked him.

"Family? I don't know..." Rong Yu'an said, "But if it were my family, I would protect them with my life."

"With your life?"

"Yeah."

After that, the two of them went without speaking for a while, as if each was lost in their own thoughts.

When Rong Yu'an finished his breakfast and stood up, holding the half cup of soy milk left, he said, "Han Ge, should we go back now?"

Gu Shenhan nodded.

This area had many trees, and the environment and air were much better than elsewhere. As Rong Yu'an walked along the road, he would reach out and touch the big trees every now and then.

Teacher Dolphin said that paying attention to a place’s rhythm of life—this life refers not only to animals but also to plants—can help you form new emotional bonds with a new environment. Over time, new roots could grow.

He planned to touch every single big tree on this road.

Gu Shenhan also remembered that piece of advice. Watching him touch the trees, he didn't deliberately disturb him. But compared to such simple tree-touching, he thought of something that would leave an even stronger impression.

"An An."

"Yeah?"

"How about... we start dating?"

"Love…?" Rong Yu'an seemed half-understanding. "What's that?"

"It means I want to be your boyfriend, want to date you, and when the time is right, make you my real wife."

"...Why?"

"Silly, of course because I want you."

"Is it because I cut my hair?"

"Sort of. It's because I found that when you cut your hair, it made me feel bad. When you ate breakfast with someone else, I got angry. I thought it over carefully—if you left, I wouldn't be happy either."

At first, he didn't think much of it, but after hearing what that girl said at the breakfast shop, he felt uneasy all over.

"It's not like I wanted Lian Dong to follow me; the butler insisted on him coming because he wasn't at ease with me going out alone."

"I know. But that won't happen again. I promise you, from now on, I'll be the one accompanying you. If anyone asks who you are, just say you're Gu Shenhan's boyfriend. Boyfriend isn't a legal relationship like spouse, but it's still an identity. Having this identity means you have the right to demand that I be loyal only to you. We can share joy and also bear pressure and responsibility together. Of course, we can also show we care about each other openly."

"Then will we still end up divorced?"

"An An, at any time, no one can guarantee with a hundred percent certainty that they'll walk through life with anyone. But even if one day we truly have to divorce, I promise you, I’ll still be your family."

When Rong Yu'an heard the word "family," he felt a lump in his throat. "Han Ge, don't fool me."

Gu Shenhan said, "I am coaxing you. But it's the 'coax' as in 'coax you to sleep,' not the 'coax' as in 'fool you.'"

Rong Yu'an still couldn't believe it. He tilted his head, looking at Gu Shenhan. "Is this a dream?"

Gu Shenhan asked, "How about you feel it first?"

He took Rong Yu'an's hand and gently tickled the palm of his hand. "Does that tickle?"

Rong Yu'an nodded, feeling tears well up.

He asked Gu Shenhan, "So from now on, if anyone asks me, I can't say I'm Gu Shenhan's wife; I can only say I'm your boyfriend?"

"That's not quite it. Legally, we are still legitimate spouses. If someone insists on pressing the issue, of course you can say you're my wife, because you are. But since we haven't known each other long and need some time to deepen our understanding of each other, we'll start with a dating relationship."

"Yeah." Rong Yu'an nodded.

"This is actually being responsible for each other. I mean, nowadays it's all monogamy. If two people impulsively get together and then gradually find they don't like each other, should they just tough it out? That's not good either, is it?"

"Mono… gamy?"

"Or what?"

Rong Yu'an: "..."

He—he had no idea!

He had thought that the ones brought to formal events were the legal wives, and those outside who seemed less restrained were probably concubines or the like. So it wasn't like that?

Gu Shenhan: "..."

Yet another absurd boundary was crossed: "Rong Yu'an, you didn’t think polygamy was still a thing, did you?"

Rong Yu'an nodded once.

Gu Shenhan was at a loss: "Are you sure you just drowned? Not in poisonous water?! Then how would you feel if I got a concubine later?"

Rong Yu'an thought seriously and said, "I'd be really unhappy. But if that's how things are, I can't do anything about it."

Gu Shenhan flicked his forehead. "What crazy stuff do you think about all day in that little head of yours?"

Rong Yu'an held his head, seeming to finally get it. "So, Han Ge, what you're really saying is, if we date and realize we're a good fit, then we might not need to divorce, right? And you won't marry anyone else."

Gu Shenhan said, "Exactly. If possible, I don't want a divorce either, since paperwork is a pain. But this is our little secret—don't tell anyone else."

Rong Yu'an let out a chuckle. "Got it. But I don't find it troublesome, since it's not me filling out the paperwork."

Gu Shenhan ruffled his hair. "Don't get too smug."

Rong Yu'an said, "Don't mess up my hairstyle; it was expensive!"

·

During the day, Gu Shenhan took Rong Yu'an directly to his own company. That's right, his own, not the Gu family's. He had invested in his college classmate's startup, and now while he didn't hold the largest share on paper, he got the biggest dividends. Moreover, the employees of this company only recognized him as their leader because the top leader only acknowledged his authority.

The top leader was called Yan Que, a tech background guy, usually addressed as Engineer Yan. The only 'boss' here was Gu Shenhan.

When Rong Yu'an had gone to the Lianshan Group before, he felt it was as steady as its name suggested. But today's company, called "Tianque," had a lightness to it, much like Cui Xi Garden. It also used a lot of glass as building material, and the colors were mostly light tones. Even the employees' office chairs were gray and white.

When Rong Yu'an stepped into the elevator, he even had the illusion of stepping on clouds.

He held the handrail, feeling like the floor was empty beneath him because they were going up to the 62nd floor. He had never been on such a high floor since coming here.

Noticing this, Gu Shenhan took his hand. "Your husband has two best friends. One is Liang Zheng, whom you've met before, and the other is the person you're about to meet."

Ding!

The elevator stopped, and when the door opened, a person stood right across from them. Tall and thin, bald, wearing black jeans and a black t-shirt with a kirin printed on it, and a red old scarf printed with small floral patterns wrapped around his head.

Yan Que nodded. "Welcome. I'm Yan Que."

Rong Yuan instinctively leaned closer to Gu Shenhan. "Hello, I'm Rong Yuan."

Yan Que made a "tsk" sound and turned to walk towards his office.

Rong Yuan didn't understand what he meant, so he looked at Gu Shenhan for an explanation. Gu Shenhan said, "He thinks a gem was wasted on a brute. But don't misunderstand, he thinks I'm the brute and you're the gem. He barely talks, unlike Liang Zheng who never shuts up. You'll find out later."

Hearing this, someone in the room was displeased: "Jesus, Gu Shenhan, if you want to sweet-talk your boyfriend, go ahead, but why drag me into it?!" Liang Zheng was actually there too.

He held up a cup of milk tea toward Rong Yuan: "I heard you got hurt, sister-in-law. How are you recovering? Gu Shenhan wouldn't let me visit you."

Rong Yuan hadn't expected this, so he said, "Much better, thanks, Liang Zheng."

Liang Zheng said, "Just call me 'Liang Zheng'."

Next to Liang Zheng was a boy of about seventeen or eighteen, with light golden hair. Since Rong Yuan came in, he had been looking at Rong Yuan with a tearful expression, as if he held a deep grudge.

Rong Yuan felt creeped out by his stare and was about to ask Gu Shenhan if he came at a bad time when he heard this golden-haired boy point at his head and asked mournfully, "Sister-in-law, what happened to your hair?"

Rong Yuan instinctively touched his head and said, "You mean my long hair?"

The golden-haired boy nodded. "Yeah. I was going to ask you to be my model, so why did you cut it off? And just like that, my happiness went poof! Gone!" The boy suddenly pointed at Liang Zheng and said, "This is all your fault! If Brother Han hadn't stopped us, we could have sneaked off! But you insisted on waiting, and now this!"

Liang Zheng said, "How was I supposed to know that would happen? Besides, if I took you, I'd be the only one catching flak. Do you think I'm stupid? Take it up with your brother!"

The golden-haired boy nudged Liang Zheng. "You're so annoying!"

With that, he got up and approached Rong Yuan: "Sister-in-law, my name is Yan Yu, 'Yan' as in 'serious', 'Yu' as in 'language'. I'm Yan Que's adopted younger brother. Can I call you 'Xiao'an Gege'?"

"Yes." "No!" Rong Yuan and Gu Shenhan said almost simultaneously.

"Why not?" Yan Yu said. "Xiao'an Gege agreed."

"Calling him 'gege' makes him sound single. But he's not." Gu Shenhan said. "He's mine."

"Seriously, Brother Han, you're way too... possessive, aren't you?"

Yan Yu linked his arm with Rong Yuan's: "Sister-in-law, I have cats here that just had kittens. They're adorable. Wanna go see?"

Rong Yuan looked at Gu Shenhan, who said, "Go if you want. Yan Yu, make sure your cat room is warm enough, okay? Your sister-in-law gets cold easily. Also, don't let him eat anything too cold."

Yan Yu said, "Got it!"

Rong Yuan was curious about the place and also wanted to see the kittens, so he followed Yan Yu.

Yan Yu was really chatty and enthusiastic. He led Rong Yuan to the cat room and asked, "Xiao'an Gege, are you cold?"

Rong Yuan said, "Not cold. What's the temperature here?"

"Twenty-seven degrees. The kittens are still small, so it can't be too cold. But if you're cold, I can turn it up by a degree."

"No need, this temperature feels very comfortable to me. At home, I usually set it to twenty-six degrees."

"Great. I like this temperature too. I could even go two degrees lower. Any lower and I'd freeze. Those 1s seem to be especially cold-resistant. You know, they're crazy—sometimes they set it to eighteen degrees! But I can't handle that. Now I finally have an ally!"

"Those... 1s?"

"Yeah. The two of us are 0s. They are all..." Yan Yu raised his index finger. "1s."

Rong Yuan: "..." Why is it that knowing Arabic numerals still doesn't make life easier?

But this question seemed simple, so he decided not to ask.

Rong Yuan smiled and asked, "Are there five kittens?"

They were all ginger kittens, but he didn't know the breed. They were especially cute, lying in a large fish-shaped nest on the floor, with the mother cat protecting the litter.

"Yes, five. Xiao'an Gege, if you like any, you can take two home to raise." Yan Yu said. "This breed is very affectionate."

"Hmm, I need to ask Brother Han first before deciding."

"Em... although it's good for couples to respect each other, you shouldn't listen to him on everything. You are an independent person too. If you think it's okay for others to call you 'Xiao'an Gege', then stick to your own opinion. Otherwise, over time, you'll easily compromise."

"But I like what he said, that is, I prefer others to know that I belong to him." Compared to that, he wanted Gu Shenhan's approval more.

Yan Yu: "..." The new teammate is actually a hopeless romantic!

No wonder his brother made that "tsk" sound. Such a beautiful and obedient person, Gu Shenhan really lucked out.

Rong Yuan smiled and stroked the kittens.

He wanted to ask about the "model" thing, but was afraid it would be awkward, so he dropped the subject. He could ask Teacher Dolphin later.

After they finished looking at the cats, Yan Yu went to grab a bunch of snacks and drinks. He pushed a cart full of bags and bottles and pulled Rong Yuan over to play video games.

Rong Yuan didn't know how to play, so Gu Shenhan only took half the snacks and told Yan Yu to play by himself, and not to corrupt his man.

Then he took Rong Yuan into his office.

Gu Shenhan turned on the computer, planning to start with a simple game to slowly get Rong Yuan familiar with it. It wasn't to let Rong Yuan kill time, but to introduce him to gaming.

At that moment, Rong Yuan suddenly asked him, "Brother Han, what is a 1 and what is a 0?"

Gu Shenhan: "...Why did you suddenly think to ask that?"

Rong Yuan told him about the cat room incident and asked doubtfully, "Xiao Yu said that you are all 1s, and he and I are 0s. I don't understand, but I was too embarrassed to ask him. I was afraid of saying the wrong thing and being laughed at again."

Gu Shenhan held the mouse, his fingertip slowly moving along the scroll wheel. After a moment, he patted the desk: "An An, come here."

Rong Yuan obediently came over and leaned on the desk.

Gu Shenhan looked at his innocent expression, like a good student eager to learn new knowledge, and suddenly felt a stir in his heart. He smiled and said, "On our wedding night, one of us will be the 1 and the other the 0. Take a guess what that means?"

Rong Yuan: "..."