Chapter 43: Who Exactly Resembles Whom?

Chapter 43: Who Exactly Looks Like Whom?

Zhao Yu returned to Chen Xitong's apartment. The place had been sitting empty for a long time and had collected some dust. Since his assistant had only brought him a bunch of new clothes at the time, his own luggage was still in the apartment.

He went through his things, including the hoodie and jacket he'd worn in early spring, as well as a few T-shirts faded from washing that Guo Lin had bought for him. Even though they were old, he couldn't bring himself to throw them away.

Although he was already sixteen when he met Guo Lin, he kept growing taller each year. He used to wear hand-me-downs from Zhao Lianfeng, but Guo Lin eventually couldn't stand to see it anymore and bought him a few new things every year. Sometimes when she bought things for Meng Qi, she'd pick something up for him too.

Growing up without a mother around, Guo Lin had stepped into that role—helping him grow into a well-rounded person and making sure he had enough to eat and wear.

Eight years had flown by. Zhao Yu looked at the fingernail-sized panda head embroidered on the T-shirt, and a faint smile tugged at his lips. This was also a patch Guo Lin had sewn on when the shirt got a hole.

He put all the clothes away, then looked at the dark blue pajamas folded neatly on the bed.

He'd bought them for Gu Hansheng but never got the chance to give them to him. It was a pre-order, so he couldn't get a refund. It had cost him over a thousand yuan, and it hurt just to think about it.

He ran his hand over the fabric—it felt really nice. If he left them here, Chen Xitong would probably just throw them out, so he folded them up and packed them in the suitcase too.

After packing, he double-checked that he hadn't left anything behind, then got ready to leave.

Just as he was about to open the door, someone pushed it open from the other side. Assistant Wu came face-to-face with him.

"Mr. Zhao? What are you doing here?" Assistant Wu asked in surprise.

"I came to pick up some things. You... did Mr. Gu send you?"

"Yes, Mr. Gu asked me to have a cleaner come over to tidy the place."

Zhao Yu glanced at the two cleaning ladies behind him, then glanced back at the apartment. It really could use a good cleaning, since Chen Xitong would be back soon.

A jumble of emotions churned in Zhao Yu's chest. Chen Xitong wasn't even awake yet, and Gu Hansheng was already jumping the gun. His love for Chen Xitong always showed in the little things. Zhao Yu had felt that kind of pure love from Gu Hansheng before—it was the kind of treatment he could never have.

Assistant Wu saw his suitcase and asked, "Do you need a hand with your stuff? I'll just give the cleaners a few instructions and then drive you back."

"No need. Thanks for everything lately. You don't have to drive me to and from work anymore." With that, Zhao Yu picked up his suitcase and headed for the stairwell.

Assistant Wu was confused. Driving Zhao Yu around was Gu Hansheng's order, and unless Gu Hansheng said otherwise, he couldn't just stop.

After a moment's hesitation, he called Gu Hansheng out of professional obligation: "Mr. Gu, do I not need to drive Mr. Zhao anymore starting tomorrow...? It was Mr. Zhao who told me... I ran into him at Mr. Chen's apartment. He was carrying a suitcase, and I don't know where he's going..."

...

The pajamas he'd bought for Gu Hansheng were a bit long, so Zhao Yu tried them on—the sleeves and pant legs were too long, but rolled up, they were wearable enough.

He was about to take the pajamas off to wash them when the door was suddenly shoved open, the loud bang making him jump.

Gu Hansheng stood in the doorway, and when he saw Zhao Yu in the room, he visibly relaxed. Then he demanded right away, "Why didn't you answer your phone?!"

Zhao Yu was caught off guard for a second. He picked up his phone and saw three missed calls from Gu Hansheng.

"I keep my phone on silent at work and forgot to turn it back on today, so I didn't hear it." Zhao Yu asked, "Did you need something, Mr. Gu?"

Gu Hansheng was clearly unsatisfied with his answer: "You'd better keep your phone on you at all times. Miss another one of my calls, and you'll deal with the consequences."

"But during work—"

"Then quit your job!"

Zhao Yu fell silent. After a moment, he wordlessly switched his phone off silent mode.

Seeing how obedient he was, Gu Hansheng's tone softened a bit. He asked, "Why'd you go back to get your stuff?"

"Once Chen Xitong gets out of the hospital, it wouldn't be right for him to see my things at his place."

"You brought everything over?"

"Mm."

Gu Hansheng looked at the open suitcase on the floor. The clothes were old and faded, and he said, "That's it? Throw them out and buy new ones."

Zhao Yu kept his head down and said, "I don't have money."

"I'll give you the money."

"I don't want it."

"What?"

Zhao Yu said stubbornly, "These are mine. I don't want to throw them out."

Gu Hansheng watched him. He looked meek and obedient, but underneath, he was stubborn as hell.

He knew Zhao Yu wouldn't dare sneak off behind his back, but after Assistant Wu's call, Gu Hansheng still wanted to immediately find out where he was headed with his luggage.

When the calls went unanswered, something inside Gu Hansheng lost control.

It wasn't until he saw Zhao Yu still obediently at home that his racing heart slowly settled back into place.

He'd been harsh and aggressive, so it was only natural for Zhao Yu to push back. But today, he didn't want to blow up at him. Past misunderstandings had taught him that Zhao Yu wasn't completely docile—when he needed to be gentle, he should be gentle.

"Have the housekeeper clear out a closet and hang up all your clothes," Gu Hansheng said.

Zhao Yu was surprised. He hadn't expected Gu Hansheng to come storming in to confront him, only to suddenly do a complete 180 and become so easy to deal with.

Afraid he might change his mind, Zhao Yu said quickly, "I'll clear out the closet myself."

With that, he moved to clear out the closet. The rolled-up pajama pant leg came loose, and he stepped right on it, nearly face-planting in a grand bow.

Gu Hansheng crossed his arms, watching him stumble awkwardly, and said, "I remember you said you'd buy these pajamas for me. Why are you wearing them?"

"But you said you didn't want them..."

"When did I ever say I didn't want them?"

Zhao Yu turned around to look at him, embarrassed. This man's pajamas routinely cost tens of thousands of yuan, yet he actually wanted a pair Zhao Yu had already worn.

"Then I'll take them off and wash them for you later?"

"Later?" Gu Hansheng raised an eyebrow.

"...I'll take them off now."

Zhao Yu unbuttoned the pajama top, feeling self-conscious under Gu Hansheng's intense gaze, so he turned around and quickly pulled off the top.

Ever since he started working at Yatai, he'd spent most of his days in the kitchen, out of the sun, so his skin had gotten much paler—not sickly pale, but with a healthy, rosy glow. His shoulders had a thin layer of muscle over the bone, with beautiful lines. The line of his spine ran all the way down to the dimples above his lower back. When his body was at its most sensitive, his tense muscles made the dip of his spine especially pronounced.

Before Zhao Yu could finish undressing, someone wrapped around him from behind. Gu Hansheng was oddly patient today, kissing the back of his neck, then his shoulder. The feel of lips brushing against his skin made Zhao Yu tense up all over, so sensitive he wanted to run.

Gu Hansheng knew exactly how to stoke someone's desire. When he wanted to, he wouldn't let the other person feel an ounce of pain—only pure surrender.

Zhao Yu wasn't used to such drawn-out foreplay, nor did he like being so undone in front of Gu Hansheng. He preferred something more painful and direct—at least that he could endure.

But Gu Hansheng refused to let him have his way. Watching the lust creep into Zhao Yu's face, he worked him over slowly until he lost control, feeling the waist in his arms go soft, as sweat slid onto his lashes and dripped off like tears.

He'd never seen Zhao Yu cry in bed, but he really wanted to see how fucking tempting that would look.

Zhao Yu had finally managed a day of rest, but by night he was almost fucked into a daze again. Gu Hansheng was hung up on something, and Zhao Yu couldn't take it anymore.

If it could be called torment, he didn't actually feel pain—quite the opposite. Some hidden nerve endings suddenly went haywire with sensitivity, making him utterly lose his composure, to the point he wanted to shove his face into a pillow. But Gu Hansheng wouldn't allow him to cover his face.

He was lying on the bed, questioning his whole damn life, when he suddenly heard Gu Hansheng's phone ring. Gu Hansheng was showering in the bathroom. After hesitating for a second, Zhao Yu grabbed the phone and glanced at the caller ID—the note read "caregiver."

Was it to report on Chen Xitong's condition?

Zhao Yu's heart went cold. Once the lust faded, all that was left was the cold, hard truth.

He set the phone back down, pretended he hadn't seen a thing, and shut his eyes.

A bit later, Gu Hansheng came back, grabbed his phone, glanced at it, and headed outside. Again, he stepped out of earshot to take the call, but from the open window in Zhao Yu's bedroom, he could catch the muffled voice drifting in from the courtyard.

As expected, he mentioned Chen Xitong's name, then got in the car and drove off.

Zhao Yu opened his eyes, listening to the sound of the Maybach fading into the distance. He knew the engine sound of every single one of Gu Hansheng's cars—he'd heard them so many times they'd become part of his everyday life.

The wind through the window carried the scent out of the bedroom. His expression was so calm, yet his heart slowly tightened. A sour, aching pain gnawed at him from the inside, leaving him like a fish beached on the shore—gasping for air with a blank face, watching himself die and knowing there was no way out.

...

Gu Hansheng arrived at the hospital late at night. Because during the stimulation therapy, Chen Xitong's fingers had twitched a few times, and there was even some eye movement. The caregiver thought Chen Xitong was definitely going to wake up this time and called him in a hurry, but in the end, he still didn't.

The doctor left the ward. Gu Hansheng sat by the bedside, looking down at Chen Xitong's sleeping face—so peaceful and beautiful. But in a certain moment, he suddenly saw a shadow of Zhao Yu in Chen Xitong's features.

Who was really the copy of whom?

Who came first, and who came second?

At some point, his feelings had gotten all turned around, and he couldn't tell who mattered more anymore.

Chen Xitong, quiet as a beautiful porcelain doll, and Zhao Yu, with his temper and stubbornness, were like two sides of the same card—flip one side over, and the other is pressed beneath.

Gu Hansheng flipped to Zhao Yu's side, and Chen Xitong vanished from his sight.

This was not how things should have been.

He loved Chen Xitong. He would cherish him and protect him for the rest of his life, give him everything he wanted, let him play the piano carefree forever, and remain an untainted treasure.

And what about Zhao Yu? Should he let him go?

Gu Hansheng rose from the bedside, walked into the corridor to get some air, and just as he took out his cigarette case, a nurse stepped forward to remind him. He turned and headed downstairs to smoke, but on the way down, he crushed the cigarette case in his fist. Tobacco leaves spilled through the cracks, and the cigarettes were already snapped inside the case.

"Author's Note"

Preheating for the crematorium.