Chapter 26: The Art of Haggling

Chapter 26: The Art of Bargaining

Mid-competition,

Yun Ran gradually felt the strain, as if a city wall were pressing down on her hand.

After ten minutes of stalemate, she sensed that the kid was holding back—otherwise, he would have won long ago.

"Alright, you win."

Yun Ran pulled back her numb hand and casually sparred a few more rounds with him.

From that little exchange, she could tell the kid had no technique at all, and his counterattacks were clumsy.

Yun Ran said expressionlessly to the person beside her,

"I'll take this one."

Zhang Zhi perked up his ears, grinning ear to ear. The hardest one to sell had actually been sold—this was a pipe dream come true, and I'm thrilled!

Yuan Bao came over to ask the price, and Zhang Zhi gave him a slap.

"This kid's hard to sell. I'll let him go at a rock-bottom price of five taels of silver. If you need anything in the future, I'm at your service anytime. What do you say?"

"Bah! Bullshit! Five taels? How can you even say that!"

Yuan Bao's voice suddenly went shrill.

That outburst of cursing stunned Zhang Zhi into silence.

Do eunuchs even talk like this?

Yuan Bao had already received his master's hand signal—

for this kid, the most he'd pay was one tael of silver.

A normal person might go for four or five taels, so this chubby kid nobody wanted? No way.

Having been by the master's side for so long, he had learned to save money and cut costs, and to bargain when buying things.

Yun Ran's famous saying: The emperor's a person too, right? The emperor has to bargain and live! If you don't grab a bargain, you're an idiot!

Zhang Zhi made a sour face.

"I'm not overcharging, I swear. Our goods here are first-rate, and everyone around here knows our prices are high. Yeah, we're pricey, but the quality's worth it. Look at this one—even the worst of the lot, he's sturdy and clearly low-maintenance. He gets along with his family—well, they're all dead, so no worries there. He'll work his tail off."

"One tael! That's my final offer. If you won't sell, we're leaving."

Yuan Bao pretended to turn and walk away. Zhang Zhi quickly glanced at the master inside the shop.

Oh man, Yun Ran had already walked out the gate, gone who knows where, not a trace left.

She really doesn't want the kid!

Yuan Bao had already turned around, looking totally unbothered.

Just as his left foot was about to cross the threshold, he heard Zhang Zhi's desperate shout.

"Wait, sir! How about two taels? I'm taking a huge loss here! At this price, it doesn't even pay for his meals these past few days!"

Bullshit! You feed him nothing but slop—even pigs wouldn't touch that, and it's worth one tael?

You're still too young to fool your old man.

Not getting the price he wanted, Yuan Bao snorted and continued to step forward.

Sure enough, his left foot crossed the threshold, and just as he lifted his right foot,

he heard a thud!

Zhang Zhi dove at him and tightly grabbed Yuan Bao's leg, howling.

"Alright, one tael! Deal! Deal! You're a lifesaver, truly! At this price, if my great-grandfather knew, he'd roll over in his grave."

Oh?

Yuan Bao was thrilled.

Great-grandfather or not, I'm not the one who's gonna get slapped.

To be honest, the first time he tried this bargaining method, Yuan Bao was a bit hesitant.

He felt that bargaining was below his station as a head eunuch.

But the emperor was obsessed—every time she left the palace, she'd bargain for everything, using shamelessness, smooth talk, and brutal price-cutting.

The craziest part was that she succeeded every single time.

After watching a few more times, Yuan Bao's mind was blown.

The old man at the city gate sells candied hawthorn skewers for only two pennies?!

Didn't his godson bring him one the other day, saying the old man charged him a whole tael?!

So all these years, I, Yuan Bao, have been lining the pockets of Old Liu at the city gate, Fatty Wang who runs the restaurant, Boss Zhang who deals in jade...

All these years in the palace! I've been slaving away for everyone else!

Damn it!

Yuan Bao was furious, changed his ways, and sucked up and begged

the emperor to teach him the secrets of bargaining. Yun Ran, of course, was happy to share them.

Yuan Bao recalled the emperor's words of wisdom and got a little choked up.

The master said, the more you want something, the less you should show it. When bargaining, aim to lowball them—a little off is just for starters.

The master said, people these days judge you by your clothes. The fancier you dress, the higher they quote,

as if they're trying to charge you for their whole family's meals.

The master said, the ultimate move is to just turn and walk away.

If they call you back, the deal is done.

If they don't, just move on to another shop—there are plenty of choices, no need to put all your eggs in one basket.

If you truly love it, then throw your dignity out the window. No shame, no game!

Obviously, this chubby kid wasn't worth five taels of silver, but one tael was just as ridiculous; the normal price would be three or four taels.

When Yuan Bao heard Zhang Zhi's wail, he knew he'd nailed his first solo bargaining attempt!

Haggling is an art form!

Most people never get the hang of it in their whole lives!

Yuan Bao knew well that he had only just begun to learn. Once back at the palace, he'd hit up the Imperial Household Department to audit the books and sharpen his haggling skills.

He could even help His Majesty save money and boost revenue—sweet!

The Imperial Household Department stewards: ... (all silent)

Yun Ran, waiting at the street corner, craned her neck eagerly, feeling unusually nervous.

After all, Yuan Bao was the Chief Eunuch; she worried he might be too proud to haggle. But as her right-hand man, how could he get by without knowing how to haggle?

He needed practice!

"Boss! It's done!"

A voice full of joy rang out.

Yun Ran looked up and saw Yuan Bao's beaming, chubby face.