Chapter 114: Suxin I

Chapter 114: Suxin I

——Forty Years Ago —— Xunwu Street —

It was early May, the dawn of summer. Gazing outside the schoolhouse, the world was still shrouded in darkness, though the scorching sun had yet to rise, offering a moment of respite from the heat.

Amidst a group of boys around fourteen or fifteen, there were only a few young girls. All of them, regardless of gender, had their jet-black hair tied up in elegant crowns and buns, reciting textbooks with rhythmic swaying: "The nature of heaven and earth esteems humanity as supreme. Among human actions, none is greater than filial piety..."

Fang Han opened her mouth occasionally, mouthing a few lines along with them half-heartedly.

Her morning study session passed by in her indifferent demeanor.

Fang Han always felt like an outsider among the students at the schoolhouse. If not for her mother insisting on sending her there, she would never have come willingly.

Attending school felt more like a form of labor reform!

Moreover, she was innately different from others. In the schoolhouse, she was placed in a corner by the teacher, and her classmates rarely conversed with her.

A cool breeze swept through, rustling the leaves with a gentle crispness. A few silver strands of hair danced by her temples, brushing against the crimson birthmark at the corner of her eye, blurring her vision.

Fang Han reached out, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear with her little finger.

"Look there—Fang Han is mimicking her mother's seductive ways!"

There were always whispers about her, like flies buzzing softly but distinctly. Were they doing it on purpose, or was it unintentional?

She rolled her eyes. "When a cicada cries out as you walk past a tree, do you think it's trying to seduce you? How self-absorbed—"

"Hmph! Daughter of a courtesan..."

Before the person could finish their sentence, Fang Han abruptly stood up, snatched a textbook from the desk, and approached them.

The person panicked. "Y-You... Don't come any closer!—I've heard that anyone who gets close to you ends up like your father, dying from sores—"

She remained unfazed, even managing a slight tug at the corner of her mouth as she continued walking towards the person. She said coldly, "Normally, I don't care what you all say. But you, from the Jiang family, especially Jiang Zhe, must not gossip about me!"

She rolled the textbook into a tube and fiercely swung it at the person's head several times.

The satisfaction was immediate, but when both families' elders had to be summoned, she regretted her actions.

Her mother was once the most celebrated courtesan in Xunwu, renowned for her beauty and a red teardrop mole by her eye, which earned her the name Xiao Zhuwan, resembling a crimson tear from a candle.

Not long after Xiao Zhuwan's ascension to the title of courtesan, she fell in love with Fang Ru, the father of Fang Han.

Fang Ru disregarded her past and secretly married her into his family.

As the mother and daughter approached the residence of their tutor, they overheard Jiang Zhe and his father, Jiang Hanyue, discussing them with the scholar:

"Humph! How dare a tainted woman from the pleasure district lay a finger on our Little Zhe!" The crude remark was unmistakably from Jiang Hanyue.

With a quivering voice, Jiang Zhe lamented, "Yes, Father. If Fang Han touches me, will I wither and die like Fang Ru did?"

"Little Zhe is kind-hearted, unlike the Fangs," Jiang Hanyue consoled.

"Mm-hmm, mm-hmm..." The scholar chimed in agreement but gently reminded, "Fang Ru is the young master of Yuewei Hall, the largest medical clinic in Xunwu. Marrying a courtesan was highly frowned upon by many. When the affair was exposed, it caused a stir in Xunwu, estranging Fang Ru's parents who expelled them from the Fang household. Despite Fang Ru's passing, his wife and daughter survived. Although the elder Fangs publicly show disdain, they still look out for them... Otherwise, they wouldn't have sent Fang Han to this academy. It's rare for girls to be educated in the first place... It might not be wise to provoke a conflict over this matter, lest there be repercussions at Yuewei Hall..."

"What do you mean? Are you afraid that if we get sick and seek treatment at Yuewei Hall, the Fangs will hold a grudge and prescribe a poisonous medicine for us?!" Jiang Hanyue's anger simmered.

The tutor dared not respond, stammering, "W-well..."

Upon hearing these words, Fang Han's anger flared up.

Xiao Zhuwan reached out and gently stroked her back, "She was only speaking out of turn."

"But..."

"Enough now. Listen to me." Xiao Zhuwan placed both hands on the doorframe.

Before pushing the door open, she whispered a reminder to Fang Han, "When you go in, apologize sincerely to the Jiang family. Don't cause any trouble. In this situation, we're in the wrong. We should endure it and avoid damaging the reputation of Yuewei Hall."

Only after receiving Fang Han's nod did she knock and enter the room.

At the sound of the disturbance, the occupants immediately fell silent.

"Oh, oh..." Jiang Zhe's head was wrapped in a white bandage, giving him an almost lifeless appearance as he lay sprawled across a wooden chair, wailing incessantly.

Beside him stood a middle-aged man – Jiang Zhe's father.

Addressing his father, Jiang Zhe said, "Father, it was this demonic girl who hit me. You must avenge me..."

With Xiao Zhuwan by his side and her previous words still echoing, Fang Han lowered her head, fidgeting with the corners of her dress in silence, not retaining any trace of her previous aggression.

The tutor secretly shot a disdainful glance at Xiao Zhuwan, then, as if it was too much effort, cast a withering look towards Fang Han.

Coincidentally, Fang Han lifted her head, meeting the tutor's gaze head-on. She returned his stare fiercely, a dagger-like glare.

Instantly, the tutor felt a jolt of panic, genuinely fearing that he might contract an incurable illness from Fang Han's glare. Clearing his throat twice to regain his composure, he asked, "Jiang Zhe, you two should mind your own business. You didn't provoke Fang Han, so why did she attack you?"

Jiang Zhe glanced at his father, seemingly thinking, 'With Father and the tutor here, Fang Han won't dare to do anything.'

He blurted out, "How would I know? She must have gone crazy all of a sudden — how many troubles hasn't she caused? In our class, apart from the girls, who hasn't she picked a fight with? Ouch—my head hurts—" As he spoke, he clutched his head and groaned, "Ouch—don't know if there's a cut or bleeding—"

"I'm no expert, but my husband and I have learned some basic medical knowledge. Let me take a look at your injury..." Xiao Zhuwan approached Jiang Zhe, her voice gentle and solicitous.

"Keep your dirty hands off my Little Zhe!" Jiang Hanyue exclaimed with disgust.

Hearing this, Xiao Zhuwan quickly retracted her outstretched hand in fright.

Fang Han's expression darkened. She grumbled to herself, 'How can such an elegant name like 'Cold Moon' be paired with such a vulgar person? It's like a brute trying to sew delicate embroidery, such an ill fit!'

"Wan, when you were little and fell, scraping a large patch of skin, you cried out 'it hurts.' It took me a long while to calm you down. Little Zhe must be in great pain too, right? We need to stop the bleeding and alleviate his pain quickly…" Xiao Zhuwan was still deeply concerned about Jiang Zhe's injuries.

"Enough talk! If a child is not disciplined, it reflects poorly on the father. With no man in the Fang household, it's high time you start properly disciplining your daughter!" Though Jiang Hanyue was impatient, she didn't spare Xiao Zhuwan a glance, as if afraid that doing so would sully her eyes.

Hearing this, Xiao Zhuwan stood frozen, her face turning ashen.

How could Fang Han bear to see her mother insulted like this? She wasn't the type of girl to endure quietly. In a burst of anger, she retorted, "So much for 'if a child is not disciplined, it reflects poorly on the father.' May I ask if the men of the Jiang family are mere decorations or nonexistent? Can't you even control your own son's tongue?!"

"Fang Han, did you forget what your mother just said?" Xiao Zhuwan reminded her daughter hastily. However, her tone was too gentle and lacked any real authority.

"But I can't bear it…" Fang Han replied.

"Well then! Care to enlighten me on the disrespectful words that came out of my mouth?" Jiang Zhe slumped deep into his wooden chair, his eyes fixed on Fang Han, amusement dancing in their depths.

He knew that Fang Han wouldn't dare repeat her words in front of Xiao Zhuwan.

There were some things that everyone understood but were better left unsaid, as mentioning them might cause discomfort.

As expected, considering her mother's feelings, Fang Han fell silent.

Jiang Zhe became even more audacious. "Don't rush to concoct lies. My Jiang family is broad-minded and won't quibble with a woman."

Fang Han scoffed. "Truly broad-minded indeed—"

The quiet spectator, the tutor, finally spoke up. "Jiang Zhe, despite his severe injuries, says he won't hold it against you. What else do you want? Come, tell me about it."

He was quite skilled at playing the role of the good guy without offending anyone.

"Oh, thank you very much," Xiao Zhuwan expressed her gratitude before immediately turning to Fang Han. "Fang Han, quickly thank the person for not pursuing the matter."

Fang Han reluctantly dragged out her words. "Tha-a-a-nk y-o-o-u—"

With that, the incident was put to rest.

That day, Fang Han returned home after school.

In a typical household, there was a small courtyard, with a pear tree planted by Xiao Zhuwan after Fang Ru's departure. Fourteen years had passed like an arrow, and the pear tree had grown tall and lush, its blossoms filling the yard with fragrance. It was a yard brimming with love.

The one who had planted the flowers was no longer around, but the one who had planted the tree still remained.

Fang Han stood silently in the courtyard, her thoughts drifting away until she heard her mother playing the zither under the moonlight.

Whenever Mother played "Rain Beating on Pear Blossoms, Door Shut," it was a sign of her longing for Father. "Pear" and "parting" share the same sound in Chinese, and although Mother never spoke of it, Fang Han understood that she held some resentment towards him.

She had always been filled with remorse since she grew old enough to understand, and thus never defied her mother again.

Silently, she walked past her mother, not wanting to disturb her, but the sudden snap of a string interrupted the melody.

Xiao Zhuwan paused her strumming and sighed softly, "It's only May, yet this year the azaleas bloomed early, alongside the pear blossoms."

"Fang Han," she called out to her daughter again.

"Huh?" Fang Han halted her steps.

Xiao Zhuwan said, "Come sit here."

Fang Han replied with an "okay" and approached her mother.

No sooner had she taken a seat than Xiao Zhuwan asked pointedly, "Fang Han, you never engage in a fight without a reason. Why did you clash with Jiang's son today? Could it be because of what happened those years ago?"

"Not really."

"Then, why is that?"

Unable to express herself, Fang Han lowered her head to fiddle with her fingers.

Seeing this, Xiao Zhuwan already had an inkling.

Since young, Fang Han could never keep secrets from her, sharing both good and bad news. Even when she was explicitly told not to do something, she would eventually confide in Xiao Zhuwan after a few days of holding it in, almost as if boasting about her mischievous deeds. If she avoided the topic altogether, it was likely because it involved her own origins.

Sighing, she said, "Dongdong, Mother doesn't care what others think. I used to be from a wealthy family in the imperial capital, but our fortune took a downturn when I was only a few years older than you. In this world, a woman's worth is rather limited. Regardless of noble birth or exceptional talent, we all have to cling onto someone else, don't we? That's how Mother ended up being sold to that place. But whether you're a man or a woman, the most important thing is to stay alive."

Xiao Zhuwan smiled warmly, then continued, "Only you truly know your situation, and others' opinions are their own business. It's impossible to please everyone. Don't let them control you."

Fourteen-year-old Fang Han didn't grasp the concept of "the taste of water is known only to the one who drinks it," and as a young girl, she wasn't yet burdened with all the responsibilities imposed upon women. She mumbled, "…Father isn't here anymore… I don't want to hear people talking about Mother like that…"

Xiao Zhuwan was an emotionally expressive woman. Hearing her daughter's words, her nose instantly stung. She struggled to hold back the tears welling up in her eyes as she replied, "But your father never demanded that others understand his thoughts and actions. At worst, we can change our environment. When conflicts arise, the hurt will always come back to us."

Fang Han was disgruntled and retorted, "I don't understand. Since Father was so protective of Mother, why would he let her become the subject of gossip without intervening? To me, that's cowardly! He should have proudly remained at Yuewei Hall, not moved us to the outskirts of Xunwu, where those gossipy people could see how happy our lives are, something they could never attain even by begging. Eventually, there wouldn't be any more idle talk."

Just then, a pear blossom drifted down gently. Xiao Zhuwan fell silent for a moment. She watched the petal sway onto the strings of the zither and then fall off, swaying once more. She didn't bother to remove it but spoke with the wisdom of experience, "Staying in the Fang family and forcing them to acknowledge me wouldn't make much difference. Fang Ru would still… Sigh, in the face of life and death, being the subject of gossip is insignificant. Being a coward is even harder. Heroes and fools are often judged by a single verdict. If we could be together for a long time, what would any of this matter?"

In an unusual display of aggression, Fang Han retorted, "I don't want to hear Mother talk about this! If you say 'don't try to control others' thoughts,' then you shouldn't control my thoughts and actions either. I can't stand it when people speak ill of you behind your back!"

Xiao Zhuwan was momentarily at a loss for words. After a long while, she spoke with sincere concern, "You're my daughter, not someone else. Mother is telling you this for your own good."

Fang Han abruptly stood up. "I know." She never directly contradicted Xiao Zhuwan, but her tone was icy cold.

Finished speaking, she didn't want to continue the conversation and retreated to her room to rest.

Sometime later, a muffled thud echoed from outside the window.

Fang Han jolted awake from her deep slumber.

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