Chapter 114: Love as a Curse

Chapter 114: Love as a Poison

It sent shockwaves through his heart.

Though Noble Consort Shu and Noble Consort Zhen were close, she rarely appeared before His Majesty. She came from a modest family, and among the imperial consorts, she had never been one of the most prominent.

If the Empress hadn’t been ill and unable to manage the harem, the authority to oversee the six palaces would never have fallen to Noble Consort Shu.

However, one thing became the subject of much gossip and private speculation.

Concubine Lian was His Majesty’s cousin, and they shared a bond from childhood. Since entering the palace, she had enjoyed the finest treatment in every aspect of life—clothing, food, residence, and travel.

Yet, despite this, the authority to oversee the six palaces did not go to her. Instead, His Majesty elevated Shu Jieyu to the rank of Noble Consort, allowing her to naturally assume this immense privilege. This made everyone wonder why His Majesty did it.

Was His Majesty wary of Concubine Lian? Or was it because Concubine Lian was cold and spoiled, unfit to serve as a model for the harem? Some even speculated that His Majesty did not truly favor Concubine Lian at all. Others claimed that His Majesty’s true preference had always been Noble Consort Zhen, and Noble Consort Shu had merely benefited from their close relationship. Rumors ran rampant.

As for Noble Consort Zhen, the rumors surrounding her were the complete opposite.

Though she had not been granted the privilege of overseeing the six palaces, first with Noble Consort Mi and now Noble Consort Shu, it seemed that both favor and power were gravitating toward her.

Anyone with eyes could see that Lord Su was influential in the imperial court, while Noble Consort Zhen enjoyed His Majesty’s favor in the harem. She was riding high, and everyone could sense the shifting tides.

With such a major incident occurring at the summer retreat and His Majesty not setting foot in the harem for several days, Noble Consort Shu’s sudden promotion to oversee the harem changed everything. Combined with Beauty Yu’s promotion following the loss of her child, the imperial consorts at the retreat, though few in number, were far from idle. For days, they were busy fawning and offering congratulations.

Su Jiaojiao sat at her desk reading a book, while Noble Consort Shu, seated across from her, frowned over the harem’s account books, looking completely out of her depth.

Noticing this, Su Jiaojiao said gently, "Yu Ying, make some tea to clear her head."

Noble Consort Shu, aware that this was thoughtfully prepared for her, set down the thick stack of account books and rubbed her temples, complaining, "The harem’s petty affairs never end. Just these account books alone are giving me a headache. No wonder the Empress claimed illness. If I had to manage the harem while scheming against others, I’d probably develop chronic headaches within three years. Who could stand such a life?"

Yu Ying brought the tea over with a smile and placed it beside Noble Consort Shu, saying, "Your Highness, it’s just the right temperature."

Su Jiaojiao set her book aside and said in a clear voice, "You’ve never been one to sweat the small stuff. His Majesty entrusting you with managing the harem is truly a challenge."

Then, lifting her eyes, she added with a smile, "But the Empress didn’t get where she is by accident. If anything, we should marvel that not everyone can handle this role."

When the Empress was mentioned, Noble Consort Shu naturally said, "Everyone out."

Yu Ying, clever as she was, understood this was to prevent eavesdropping. She flicked her handkerchief and said coolly to Jia Xi inside, "Jia Xi, come with me to fetch the newly arrived fabrics for Her Highness. We’ll have new robes tailored."

Jia Xi set down the vase she was holding, glanced discreetly at Noble Consort Zhen and Noble Consort Shu, curtsied, and withdrew.

Noble Consort Shu, observing Yu Ying’s earlier gesture, tilted her chin toward where Jia Xi had been standing and asked, "A spy, no doubt?"

Su Jiaojiao took an elegant sip of tea. "We don’t yet know who sent her. A nuisance."

"You should be careful," Noble Consort Shu said, standing to stretch her back. "There’s been too much gossip in the palace lately. I’ve made examples of a few. Though I dislike Concubine Lian, now that I’ve taken on this responsibility, allowing palace servants to gossip about imperial consorts would reflect poorly on me."

"Who do you think was truly behind Beauty Yu’s miscarriage?" she continued. "At first, I suspected the Empress, but if she wanted to use this incident to regain control of the harem, she should have recovered before the summer retreat. She’s still ill now. If it really was her doing, wouldn’t that backfire? The authority over the harem has fallen to me instead."

"But if it was Noble Consort Wang or Concubine Lian, it doesn’t quite fit either. Though I despise Noble Consort Wang to the core and know she’s ruthless, you’ve been using the Crown Prince’s health to keep her occupied. She hasn’t interfered in harem affairs for a long time. Besides, given the current situation, she wouldn’t need to act now. I’ve been wracking my brain, but it doesn’t add up. Unless I’ve underestimated Concubine Lian."

Su Jiaojiao chuckled. "Concubine Lian only has eyes for His Majesty, and she sneers at everyone else in the harem. Why target Noble Consort Mi? Even if she tried, she’s not clever enough."

Noble Consort Shu sat back down, frowning in confusion. "So you think the Empress is behind this? Then why play sick and hand me the upper hand?"

"We all know that if the Empress recovers, the authority should return to her. Does the Empress not realize this?"

"She’s deeply calculating. This first step is likely just to weaken power, and the next step will be to reassert control over the inner palace."

Su Jiaojiao spoke faintly, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, her expression unreadable. "Just watch what happens."

Her composure made Noble Consort Shu grow restless. "Will you just stand by and watch her regain power without doing anything?"

Su Jiaojiao rested her chin on her hand, gazing out the window, her long lashes fluttering down like butterfly wings. Her voice was measured as she said, "The Empress is cautious, with eyes and ears everywhere in the palace. Trying to harm her or lure her into a mistake is nearly impossible. Besides, she is the Empress, the Emperor’s principal wife since his princely days. To shake her position, one or two incidents won’t suffice. The mightiest dam crumbles from tiny leaks—only by accumulating enough leverage can we strike decisively."

"The timing isn’t right."

Knowing she lacked Su Jiaojiao’s foresight, Noble Consort Shu didn’t press further, only asking, "Then what do you plan to do about Consort Mi?"

At this, Su Jiaojiao paused briefly.

"She is also a tragic figure."

"Which woman in the palace isn’t tragic?"

A flicker of emotion crossed Noble Consort Shu’s coolly elegant features as she sighed softly. "If one day both the Empress and Noble Consort Wang fall, and Consort Mi loses faith in the Emperor, she will focus solely on power. When the time comes to appoint a new Empress, how will you compete with her? She is the granddaughter of the Left Minister and comes from the Yin family."

"Jiaojiao, you’ve always been clear-headed. But I know—deep down, you’re soft-hearted toward those close to you. After all this time, your feelings for Consort Mi are no longer just about utility. There’s some sympathy there, isn’t there?"

"You still have time to think it over. But when pretense falls away, it will be far uglier than it is now."

Seeing Su Jiaojiao’s silence, Noble Consort Shu knew she was struggling and changed the subject. "Before Beauty Yu lost her child, the Emperor hadn’t visited the harem for several days. Adding these recent days, it’s been nearly half a month. There haven’t been any urgent matters reported in court, yet the Emperor suddenly avoids his consorts—it’s strange. If it were others, fine, but even you were dismissed without a word?"

Su Jiaojiao recalled how the Emperor seemed to deliberately avoid her gaze during their recent encounters, wondering if he was avoiding people because of her.

But this involved Consort Lian, so she couldn’t mention it to Noble Consort Shu. She only said, "Perhaps he was in low spirits before, and now his mood has worsened."

Noble Consort Shu had little interest in competing for imperial favor, and with so many new responsibilities, she picked up a stack of account books and stood. "Then rest for now. I’ll go review these. Though they give me a headache, they bring only benefits. In the future, I’ll be able to help you more."

Su Jiaojiao nodded with a faint smile, raising her voice slightly. "Ling Yun, escort Noble Consort Shu out."

Once the others had left, Yu Ai pushed the door open, eagerly carrying a plate of pastries. "Your Highness, I’ve made fresh cheese and milk cakes—soft and sweet. Please try them!"

Su Jiaojiao glanced over, the sweet, creamy fragrance already reaching her. Just as she reached for one, she suddenly remembered Nanny Sun’s words—that the Emperor had loved the horse hoof cakes his mother made, mixed with chilled milk and a touch of osmanthus honey...

If she made them herself and sent them to him, how would he react?

---

Lingbo Songshuang Pavilion

Shen Huai laid down the vermilion brush, rubbing his temples wearily. Leaning back, he lifted his gaze to the painting of a moonlit beauty hanging on the opposite wall.

The portrait had long been completed, meticulously framed, and placed in his study.

The Su Jiaojiao in the painting was luminous as moonbeams, her beauty natural, the liveliness in her eyes and brows captured perfectly. Back then, he had traced every contour of her features, brows nearly touching, to create this masterpiece.

But now, even looking at her image stirred unease in his chest.

He—

Ached for her.

Yet he didn’t know how to face her, much less how to resolve this.

As his mind raced, Cai Shan approached the side hall, bowing. "Your Majesty, Prince Xuan has arrived in great haste, seeking immediate audience." "Prince Xuan?" Shen Huai’s heavy-lidded eyes snapped open. "Wasn’t he at his estate in Chang’an? What brings him here?"

Cai Shan bowed and said, "Your Majesty, this humble servant sees that Prince Xuan looks resolute and dusty from travel, as if there is some extremely urgent matter."

Shen Huai acknowledged with a faint hum and rose from his seat, walking at a measured pace toward the main hall. "Summon him in."

Upon receiving permission, Prince Xuan Shen Zhang entered from outside. His face was haggard, his unshaven beard still visible, yet his eyes burned bright with unwavering determination.

Seeing this, Cai Shan quietly withdrew, leaving the two in private.

Shen Zhang was Shen Huai's cousin—a man of upright character and mild disposition. Never before had he appeared in such a state.

He stepped forward and bowed to Shen Huai, saying, "Your subject pays respects to Your Majesty. May Your Majesty be at peace."

Shen Huai smiled faintly. "What brings you to the summer retreat?"

Unexpectedly, Prince Xuan prostrated himself and said, "Your Majesty, this subject has come from Chang'an today for the same matter as before—to request that Your Majesty relieve me of my official duties and allow me to live among commoners."

Why bring this up so suddenly?

Shen Huai had assumed it was merely a disagreement between him and the Grand Princess, his mother. But now, he had come all this way with such determination, just to become an ordinary man.

After a moment of silence, Shen Huai asked, "Has your mother agreed?"

At the mention of his mother, Shen Zhang paused, then lowered his head. "Yes."

Hearing this, Shen Huai was even more astonished.

The Grand Princess had only this one son and had spoiled him since childhood. Now that Shen Zhang wished to leave Chang'an and live among commoners, traveling freely, she had actually consented.

Frowning, Shen Huai demanded, "If you seek my approval, you must at least give me a reason. I demand the truth."

Shen Zhang hesitated briefly, then lifted his gaze to the Emperor. His eyes softened noticeably.

"This subject has given my heart to a woman and wishes to flee with her."

"This is absurd. As a member of the imperial family, marrying a commoner is a simple matter. Even if the Grand Princess disapproves, you could have sought my help. I could have granted her to you. Why go to such lengths?" Shen Huai was displeased by such a preposterous reason and said coldly, "What is the real reason? If you still refuse to speak the truth, I will charge you with deceiving the throne."

Shen Zhang knew the Emperor was only saying this because he didn’t want him to leave Chang'an. Unoffended, he merely chuckled lightly. His drawn face made his clear eyes appear even brighter.

"Every word this subject has spoken is true, without the slightest deceit."

He continued gently, "Taking her into my household as a concubine would be simple. But if I wish to make her my primary wife, it would be far more difficult."

"This subject does not wish to bring scandal upon the imperial family because of my marriage. It would be better for me to renounce my status and become a commoner—truly free, roaming freely, a commoner marrying a commoner would be a perfect match."

Shen Huai said solemnly, "If you truly love this woman and wish to marry her as your primary wife, I am not without means to help."

Shen Zhang smiled and bowed. "This subject is grateful for Your Majesty's concern."

"But even if she were exceptionally allowed into the household as my wife, what then?"

"No matter how many honors Your Majesty bestows, everyone—including herself—will know she is still a commoner. Chang'an is too vast. She is a free bird. To her, the princely estate would not be a gilded cage but a prison. A woman who once wouldn’t even qualify as a servant becoming a princely consort—how could she command respect? How could she be happy? Faced with rules and constraints, could she still be herself?"

Shen Zhang's expression was tender yet resolute. "She is the one I love. I wish to spend my life with her, just the two of us. As a prince, taking one primary wife and two concubines would be the norm, but I refuse."

"Love is exclusivity, it is fulfillment, it is a heart’s flutter, it is mutual understanding and devotion. Under heaven, I have seen countless beauties, but the only one who moves my heart is her."

These words sent ripples through Shen Huai's heart.

He had never imagined that Shen Zhang, a noble prince and his trusted cousin, would willingly abandon all his status and privileges for the sake of a commoner woman—for what he called love—just to be with her.

Love is just idle talk for scholars and poets, the world's most hollow lie. Shen Zhang was always so sharp and level-headed—how could he do something so foolish?

Back then, my mother entered the palace out of love for the emperor, only to meet a tragic end. Now, Shen Zhang is willing to abandon everything for love, like a moth diving into fire.

It's downright foolish.

What is so good about love?

Shen Huai clenched his fists, staring at Shen Zhang as he said coldly, "How do you know she isn’t deceiving your affections? How do you know this'll last? Love is the most fragile thing in this world."

Shen Zhang’s conviction did not waver in the slightest. He only smiled and said, "The world shifts like sea to mulberry fields. I'm just a speck in this vast world—I never sought eternity. My time is short enough as it is, and the burdens I bear are heavy enough. If I can't even follow my own heart, if I can't love with my whole heart, then what meaning is there in living? In the end, all returns to dust."

He bowed once more and said, "I love her, never expecting anything in return. Just the sight of her fills me with boundless joy. I beg Your Majesty to grant me this wish."

The blazing sun dipped below the horizon, and the moon rose above the willow branches.

Shen Huai forbade anyone from disturbing him. As moonlight flooded the room and the candles remained unlit, the room grew dim.

He stared at the painting on the wall for so long that he could no longer recall what he had said when Shen Zhang left.

Shen Zhang’s words echoed relentlessly in his mind, churning his already troubled mind into further turmoil.

First, his mother remained devoted to love unto death, and now Shen Zhang willingly became a commoner.

That tiny, wavering spark in his heart, already unsteady, seemed to be fanned by a gust of wind. The fire surged through his icy heart, crackling wildly against the wind.

A voice seemed to whisper ceaselessly, tempting him—*What's the harm in letting yourself love her?* Even if the burdens you carry weigh a thousand pounds, even if you bear the fate of the realm and its people, why not try?

Yet another voice pulled at him—*Don’t believe it. Don’t listen. Stay calm, stay rational. Love will only bring disappointment.*

Shen Huai stood before the desk, gripping its edge tightly, his heart hammering against his ribs.

Just as he struggled fiercely within, Cai Shan outside the door gave two soft knocks and said, "Your Majesty, Noble Consort Zhen has arrived. Will you see her?"