Chapter 106

Chapter 106

Luo Ye had already shifted his gaze to Ji Mian.

He stood straight, only his neck tilted slightly toward the young man.

Though Luo Ye was much taller and clearly looking down at Ji Mian, Kong Yuzhen couldn’t shake the feeling that Ji Mian was the one standing taller.

After meeting up, Ji Mian took Luo Ye and said goodbye to the two enthusiastic juniors.

As always, Ji Mian walked ahead, with Luo Ye trailing behind.

Given Luo Ye’s height, it was easy to picture how small his steps were as he followed Ji Mian.

Ji Mian slowed down, deliberately letting Luo Ye catch up, and asked, “What do you feel like eating?”

“Whatever’s fine.”

“Then fish it is.”

Luo Ye hesitated briefly, “Okay.”

He lengthened his stride slightly and walked alongside Ji Mian.

Luo Ye still preferred walking behind Ji Mian, where he could see his back. Side by side, all he could see was the road.

Ji Mian asked offhandedly, “You like running?”

“Yeah.”

“When’d you start?”

Luo Ye wasn’t sure why his brother was suddenly interested in running, but he answered honestly, “Around eighth grade.”

They passed a busy bakery, packed with customers.

With Auntie Lin out, Ji Mian figured it’d be good to grab some bread for breakfast. He turned to Luo Ye and said, “I’ll grab some bread.”

As he was about to step in, Luo Ye grabbed his wrist.

“I’ll go,” Luo Ye said. “It’s packed in there.”

Ji Mian paused, “Oh.”

“What do you want, brother?”

“Croissants. Get whatever you want,” Ji Mian said, then added awkwardly, “…You got money?”

Luo Ye’s lips twitched into a small smile, but he didn’t reply. He just headed in with his backpack.

Ji Mian felt a pang of embarrassment.

He peered through the bakery’s glass door.

Luo Ye, with his lone wolf vibe, was picking out bread from the shelves. His tall, upright figure stood out in the crowd, a little out of place but oddly comforting.

Ji Mian, now the one being looked after, should’ve felt at ease.

But because of a sudden sense of familiarity, his throat tightened slightly.

After searching for so long, it was in the most ordinary setting, just because of a side profile in a line, that he suddenly became certain.

No need to test any further.

Luo Ye waited in line for over ten minutes before emerging with a paper bag holding two croissants, the aroma of fresh bread wafting around him.

Inside the bag, one was a caramel croissant, and the other was a plain one stuffed with bacon and cheese—clearly meant for different people.

"Big bro, is caramel alright?"

Ji Mian smiled and said, "Sure."

Luo Ye fumbled the bag, and it dropped to the ground. He crouched to grab it.

Once he had a firm grip, he blurted out, "Big bro, do you have a girlfriend?"

"Nope. Why’d you ask that all of a sudden?"

Luo Ye glanced at the smile still playing on Ji Mian’s lips. "No reason."

He just had a feeling that smile wasn’t meant for him. Maybe Ji Mian was thinking of someone else.

"Xiao Ye."

Hearing this nickname he hadn’t heard in ages, Luo Ye nearly dropped the bag again, so he hugged it tightly to his chest.

"You’re not a fan of fish, right?"

Luo Ye hesitated, then nodded slowly. "...Yeah."

After saying it, he worried Ji Mian might go out of his way for him.

"Back home, I never noticed you being picky about food."

Luo Ye replied, "Mom and Dad would get worried." As a kid, there were a few dishes he didn’t care for. Luo Zhishu never scolded him, but she’d try different ways to make them.

Luo Ye didn’t want her wasting time on that and felt the pressure himself.

After that, whether he liked the dishes or not, he’d always take a few bites.

Ji Mian pursed his lips and said, "Let’s have something else tonight."

Luo Ye, still clutching the croissants, gave a small nod.

Near the high school was a big mall, packed with popular chain restaurants. Neither had time to trek to a fancy restaurant, so they wandered the mall and ended up at a hot pot place.

Sitting across from each other, the steam rising between them, Ji Mian stole glances at Luo Ye.

The kid he’d raised for six or seven years had suddenly become his older brother... His mind was struggling to catch up.

Through the mist, Ji Mian could see traces of the boy Luo Ye had been, but also the demeanor of the person he knew best.

His ears flushed red—partly because he’d found who he was looking for, and partly from some inexplicable embarrassment.

This was his brother, after all...

Luo Ye sipped his iced lemon water, studying Ji Mian’s troubled face. —He couldn’t figure it out.

*

During the break, the advanced class for second-year high school students stayed quiet.

Those heading to the restroom or stepping out to get water left quietly, barely taking a moment to breathe.

In two weeks, the students would face their second-year final exams, and the classroom atmosphere felt a bit heavy.

"Hey, the teacher’s going over the test tomorrow, so take good notes. I’ll be out and copy yours when I’m back the next day," the boy sitting directly in front of Luo Ye whispered to his deskmate.

Even during the break, speaking in the classroom was done as softly as possible.

"What, feeling under the weather?"

"…Cut it out. My sister’s getting married tomorrow, so I’m going to the wedding."

"Oh, congrats then."

Luo Ye stopped writing and looked up.

The two boys in front kept chatting, moving the conversation away from the wedding.

Luo Ye chimed in, "Your sister’s getting married?"

The two boys in front were startled, then turned around, surprised Luo Ye would join in on such everyday chatter.

"Yes."

Luo Ye said, "Congrats."

The boy was surprised, then said, "Thanks, Brother Luo."

The conversation was pulled back to the wedding.

"After my sister gets married, she’s moving to a new place with her husband," the boy sighed, "It’ll feel empty at home with one less person…"

Hearing this, Luo Ye froze.

Moving out…

"Why would she move out?"

"Huh? Well, when you get married, you need your own space."

The boy’s deskmate comforted, "When my brother married my sister-in-law back in middle school, it was the same. You get used to it."

As soon as he finished, he felt someone staring at him from behind and asked, confused, "Brother Luo?"

Luo Ye asked, "How can you get used to it?"

The boy scratched his head, confused, "You just get used to it over time."

"…"

Luo Ye had pictured Ji Mian dating someone, holding their hand, kissing their cheek. Ji Mian’s romantic partner had always been a blurry figure in Luo Ye’s mind, beautiful but somehow unlikable.

But it had never crossed his mind that Ji Mian might move out someday. But like the boy said, if his brother got married someday, he probably wouldn’t stay home either.

Luo Ye looked down, his pen tapping the thin test paper on the desk.

Ever since the second year of middle school, when Ji Mian first kissed him secretly in the bedroom, he’d thought for four years that the empty room next door was just temporary, that the person who lived there would come back eventually.

So, it wasn’t the case.

It turns out he had it backwards; leaving is actually the usual state of things. Ji Mian's return is just an occasional break from the norm.

If Ji Mian gets married and moves out, how long would that bedroom stay empty?

Half a year? A year?

A whole lifetime like this, just like siblings from other families, maybe getting together once a year, lasting two or three weeks at most, or just a few days at the shortest, gradually drifting apart, with only blood keeping the family bond alive.

And between him and Ji Mian, there isn’t even a blood relation.

It’s hard to accept.

With a sharp "click,"

Luo Ye’s pen tip stopped on the exam paper and snapped. The ink from the ballpoint pen gathered into a bead at the broken tip and fell onto the paper, leaving a big blot of black ink.

"Luo?"

"It’s fine." Luo Ye calmly pulled out a tissue, wiped the ink stain off the paper, wrapped the broken pen tip, and lowered his eyes in thought.

He’s good at analyzing, not just problems, but also himself. Only sometimes, because he lacks life experience, he can’t make accurate judgments.

If Ji Mian leaves for a long time, Luo Ye knows he won’t adjust quickly, not for at least ten years.

The reason for this conclusion is that over the past four years, his longing for Ji Mian hasn’t faded—it’s only grown stronger.

How many more years it would take to adjust, he still can’t be entirely sure.

A typical younger brother’s dependence on an older brother probably wouldn’t last this long, especially after growing up and developing an independent personality.

He’s the only one who’s different.

Luo Ye’s dark, feathery eyelashes lowered, and he had to admit he felt an unhealthy possessiveness toward Ji Mian.

After that conversation with Xiang Chen at the beginning of the year, he realized something was off about him in certain ways, but he’d been ignoring it.

But now, this unhealthy possessiveness has grown so strong it makes him uneasy.

Luo Ye thought it over.

Maybe he should see a psychologist.

*

Weekend.

Luo Ye left the hospital with his medical records, recalling the warm smile on the psychologist’s face in the consultation room.

"...There’s no need to feel alarmed. Your symptoms are a typical case of imprinting, related to your childhood experiences and your longing for a sense of security."

"It might be because you didn’t receive enough companionship from your mother during childhood, and you transferred your instinctual dependence on your mother to your older brother..."

The solution provided was also simple, "Learn to properly deal with the possibility of your older brother leaving in the future," and then, he was advised to make more friends.

Quack. Luo Ye thought calmly.

He stopped in his tracks, a flicker of discomfort crossing his face.

Before giving the solution, the psychologist had asked him a strange question, prefacing it with many words similar to making him "not feel ashamed."

"Have you ever had sexual feelings for your brother?"

Luo Ye hesitated for a moment before replying, "No."

The doctor's lead-in was necessary, but it didn't work as planned. Even before answering, Luo Ye couldn't help feeling ashamed.

Therefore, the answer wasn't entirely accurate.

Luo Ye stuffed the medical chart into the outer pocket of his backpack and decided to make appointments with a few more psychologists.

However, with finals approaching, he figured it would be best to wait until summer break.