Chapter 119

Chapter 119

Such a hot potato, Chen Ji certainly wouldn't keep it. He commissioned Little Translator with a box of egg yolk pastries as payment. With Second Master Huang's help, Little Translator transformed into human form and sent the two men to the hospital.

Little Translator vanished in a cloud of dust, disappearing in the blink of an eye. Meanwhile, Zhao Ling called to discuss her classmates' experience on the mountain with Chen Ji, seeking areas for improvement. Zhao Ling implied the video went viral online thanks to the animals, regretfully wishing Chen Ji could coax a few more animals to "work."

After all, many popular online attractions rely on free-roaming animals to draw visitors, like the cats in the Forbidden City.

Chen Ji's eyes curved into a smile as he chuckled, "How could it be that easy?"

Why not? He might not know about other places, but in his area, any relatively intelligent creature is at least a decades-old monster. People call them 'kitty' or 'baby' to their faces, but in reality, they're old enough to be someone's grandfather.

"These things depend on fate," Chen Ji said. "Don't overthink it. Second Master Huang and Little Red are one thing, but the others are all national first-class protected species. If they really hurt a tourist or get hurt by one, do you want to keep your job?"

Zhao Ling imagined a tourist encountering the white tiger. Although that white tiger was as tame as a cat under Chen Ji's care, in front of others, it might just smash car windows with a swipe of its paw or leap to knock over iron railings like an aggressive brute. If it really injured a tourist, how would she write her year-end report? Any way she wrote it would be a disaster.

"...You're right, Chen Ji!"

Zhao Ling continued, "The mountain path is too difficult to walk now; it's all dirt roads. It's only manageable because it hasn't rained these past couple of days. Once it rains, it'll be all mud, and tourists will take one look and not want to come up..."

Other mountains are hard to climb too, but at least they have stone steps! They're easier to clean. Here, it's pure dirt paths—if you want to call it something, it's a wild mountain, completely undeveloped. She pondered, "How about we use 'pure, natural, and pollution-free' as our selling point?"

The sky had already darkened. Chen Ji lit a cigarette, the glow of the tip becoming the only spot of light in the temple. He said, "So? The visitors are all hikers. If someone dies on the mountain, who's responsible for retrieving the body?"

Zhao Ling shuddered violently and shook her head repeatedly. "Right, right, no, no, absolutely not..."

Last time a young person died, and it was Chen Ji who found them. She had to write seven or eight reports overnight, barely sleeping for two days. Every time she opened her eyes, the police were there; every time she closed them, there was a call from higher-ups. Open her eyes, the victim's family arrived; close them, the reports needed revisions!

Remembering this, Zhao Ling turned pale.

Chen Ji thought for a moment but didn't mention the Yun family's earlier offer to invest in road construction to Zhao Ling. Those families aren't good people anyway, so there's no need for Zhao Ling to actively engage with them. Besides, he didn't want to owe them any favors. Once they handled all the procedures, any debt of gratitude would have nothing to do with him.

Chen Ji hung up the phone, sighed, and tiredly rubbed his temples.

The foreman had already told him that if the weather cooperated, the construction would be finished in at most five days. Then, they would have to remove the purple silk covering the mountain deity's statue. This thing was annoying, but it had to be done—before, when he didn't know, it was fine, but now that he knew, it was like having a monster at home watching him every day.

Although covering it was similar, at least it served some purpose.

Even if it’s just psychological, it’s still useful.

He stubbed out his cigarette and stood up to head to the kitchen—well, it was time to feed these demanding ones again.

Little Translator arrived home just as Chen Ji finished cooking. In human form, he was a young man in his early twenties, somewhat resembling Chen Ji but with more lively and cunning features. When he saw Chen Ji, his eyes lit up, and he stammered, "Brother Chen! Brother Chen, what are we eating tonight?"

Chen Ji was taken aback at first, but upon realizing it was Little Translator, he instinctively said, "Little Translator, your human form is so handsome."

Whoosh—a large brown tail appeared behind the handsome young man, wagging vigorously like a dog's, his eyes crinkling with laughter. "Thank you, Brother Chen!"

Actually, he had to thank Brother Chen for this. If he hadn't helped Chen Ji with tasks, why would Second Master Huang have taught him how to transform? Before, Second Master Huang had told them to cultivate for a few more decades before considering human form—saying that after transforming, they would face many temptations that could shake their spiritual focus.

Chen Ji brought out a large plate of roasted duck legs. Don't ask—they were pre-made dishes, but they were really, really fragrant. After reheating, they smelled freshly baked, with glossy, brown-red crispy skin that made mouths water.

Chen Ji handed a duck leg to him. Little Translator took it and bit into it immediately, his tail wagging even faster. "Delicious!"

Chen Ji asked him, "Did you handle the matter?"

Little Translator put down the duck leg and said earnestly, "All done! I took them to the hospital first, then called the police there. I used your appearance and ID, Brother Chen, and said these two were attacked by mountain leeches in the mountains, and I rescued them."

Little Translator swung his long tail. "I know you're a law-abiding citizen, Brother Chen, so I handed over their stuff to the police too!"

Their stuff...?

Chen Ji was about to ask what it was when Little Translator said, "Their hunting rifles, tranquilizer guns, bullets, and such. Human society doesn't allow private ownership of these things, right? Don't worry, Brother Chen, I checked—they can definitely be sentenced to at least three years. Anyway, they won't be able to come up the mountain to bother you for a while!"

He really enjoyed the bustle of human society through his phone, so he had already looked up high-paying modern jobs! He heard lawyers make good money! He plans to take the bar exam in the future!

Chen Ji was silent for a moment. As expected of a weasel—so clever! He gave a thumbs-up and handed over another duck leg as a reward. "Well done."

Little Translator happily accepted it.

Chen Ji continued with his tasks. He poured the stray cat canned food he bought into a bowl, added some decorations arranged like those gourmet cat food meals online—anyway, it looked colorful and nutritionally balanced, enough to make a human want a bite—and placed it on Mountain Lord's altar, as if giving Mountain Lord special treatment.

Did Mountain Lord cause trouble?

Not for now.

After eating, Chen Ji was too lazy to wash the dishes. He tossed them into the sink, planning to deal with them tomorrow. He kept feeling he should buy a dishwasher—but as everyone knows, dishwashers aren't great at cleaning heavily oiled and sauced dishes.

Chen Ji was lying down thinking when suddenly something heavy fell from above, landing squarely on his stomach. He gasped, his phone flying off the bed, and he barely suppressed the urge to vomit. He glared at System Cat, who looked utterly relaxed, and gritted his teeth. "Xiao Ba!"

System Cat licked its paw. [I called you several times; you can't blame me.]

"You'd better have a good reason!" Chen Ji coldly pinched the scruff of its neck. System Cat went limp as if hit a vital spot, lying motionless on Chen Ji, but its voice was extremely lively. [Of course I do! Boss, ultra-modern high-tech dishwashers are on sale! 20% off storewide! More than government subsidies!]

[No matter what you throw in, they'll clean it all! Clean it all! Not clean? Money-back guarantee! Lifetime warranty, valid until you're six feet under!]

Chen Ji: [Your timing is impeccable!]

No need to think—System Cat had clearly read his mind. Actually, it didn't even need to; just seeing him constantly browsing dishwasher pages was enough.

System Cat pulled up a shopping list in Chen Ji's mind with a flourish. Various dishwashers displayed 4D models, even allowing 'touch' through thought. Chen Ji looked at the prices, starting from at least 100 points, while he only had a pitiful 23 points.

[Not buying, no money, get lost.] Chen Ji refused System Cat.

System Cat chuckled, waving a paw to reveal the discounted price. [Check this one out—it's really good! After discount, only 80 points! What use are those points anyway? Why not save up and buy one? Toss the dishes in after meals and you're free!]

[And it's really high-end! No need to plug it in! No water intake or drain pipes! It automatically collects clean water from the air, uses high-temperature cleaning, and vaporizes food residues after washing! Even if you move, it'll work anywhere you put it!]

Chen Ji: [So why don't I just hire a cleaner?]

There are plenty of idle aunts in the village. For helping wash dishes and clean, paying a thousand a month would make them think Chen Ji is overly generous and extravagant—they might even compete for the job.

System Cat mercilessly exposed Chen Ji's excuse: [Go ahead, hire one! Bring an aunt here, and she'll suspect you're crazy for talking to weasels, hedgehogs, and foxes! She'll watch you all day, probably try to set you up with someone, nagging about you being 26–27 and still unmarried...]

Chen Ji: "..." True, so hiring an aunt is impossible. The pressure from having workers repair the house during the day is already enough. After all, habits can't change overnight. Several times, the workers couldn't help advising him to talk to people more and not isolate himself on the mountain all day, lest he develop issues!

Seeing Chen Ji silent, System Cat pulled up the task list with a swoosh. [Please, just look at your tasks! How many days has it been since you did any? I'm too embarrassed to scold you! If you don't do some tasks soon, other systems will think I'm just a decorative vase!]

The basic task is to repair Mountain Lord's temple. Strictly speaking, Chen Ji has completed a major phase. The second phase is refinement—stuff like completing texts, carving beams and painting rafters, gilding the statue, etc. Originally, the system would subsidize part of the cost, since most ordinary hosts don't have the money for things like tens of thousands per pillar, let alone eight at once.

But Chen Ji? He finished the first phase and stubbornly refuses to accept the second phase's main task. It seems he plans to rely on his savings to hire craftsmen for luxury renovations directly—then what use is a system like me if not just a pretty decorative vase?!

Chen Ji yawned. [Forget it, I'd better not accept it.]

Chen Ji doesn't like being rushed. Earlier was fine—the first few tasks had no time limits, but later tasks had deadlines, forcing him to complete them immediately. Annoying.

System Cat guessed right; Chen Ji indeed plans to bypass the system and have Mountain Lord's temple fully renovated directly.

System Cat put on a pitiful, tearful expression and was about to pester Chen Ji into agreeing when it heard Chen Ji’s phone vibrate. Chen Ji tossed it near his feet and bent down to pick up the phone. Opening WeChat, he saw a message from Jiao Fengqing.

Due to WeChat transfer limits, she had sent five transfers of 20,000 RMB each and seemed ready to send more. Chen Ji quickly stopped her, but she sent another five transfers of 20,000 RMB, all while being extremely polite and courteous. Chen Ji exchanged a few pleasantries with her before ending the conversation.

Hmm… that’s quite a lot.

All I did was scatter two handfuls of rice and burn one talisman, and I got 200,000 RMB!

This business is lucrative… no wonder they keep suppressing superstitious practices. Chen Ji didn’t even want to imagine what would happen if he were a worse person, deliberately exploiting a few wealthy clients and waiting for them to pay to resolve their misfortunes…

Oh wait, he had already deliberately exploited a few wealthy people.

Chen Ji smiled faintly, and the next moment his phone vibrated again. Looking closely, he saw it was a video call from Brother Zhang. Chen Ji answered, and a heavily made-up face instantly popped up on the screen, complete with a gray wig. He laughed and asked, “Brother Zhang, what are you up to?”

“Cosplaying!” Brother Zhang flexed his arm to show off his biceps. “Just built up some lean muscle. How does it look? Handsome? Are you mesmerized yet?!”

Chen Ji nodded honestly—who doesn’t appreciate a nice physique? “Really handsome!”

Brother Zhang laughed triumphantly. After he’d had his fill of laughter, he said, “Oh right, you helped someone out today, and they asked me to pass along a reward.”

Chen Ji paused. It must be from Black and White Impermanence? Seeing his thoughtful expression, Brother Zhang nodded and said, “Yeah, that’s right. Don’t mention it, though—it’s a private matter. Don’t ruin their livelihood. The ancestors of the family you saved today had to pull a lot of strings in the underworld to get things sorted. When they found out it was you who helped, they wanted to show their gratitude. They may not have much else, but they have plenty of money, antiques, property… How would you like to receive it?”

Chen Ji: “…? I’ve already been paid. Isn’t it inappropriate to accept a second payment?”

“Pfft, what’s the big deal?” Brother Zhang set his phone aside and started applying eyeliner. “Who complains about too much money? Don’t worry about it, just accept it. Depending on how you want it, if you want to save it for later, I can open an account for you at the Underworld Bank. It’ll be convenient if you need to transfer money to someone down there in the future.”

“If you want it for use in the living world, I’ll transfer it to you… They’re planning to gift you a property in S City. That family isn’t short on houses, and you sold your place before, right? It’s perfect—you can use it as a place to stay.”

Chen Ji: “…Isn’t that a bit excessive? Properties are expensive.”

Brother Zhang studied his reflection, ignoring Chen Ji. “The school district is pretty good, and it’s easy to sell if needed… I took the liberty of accepting the property on your behalf. Don’t worry, they just want to settle the account. What seems like a lot to you is nothing to them. Otherwise, they’d feel uncomfortable owing you a favor.”

“…Alright, then.” Chen Ji pulled open a drawer, revealing it stuffed full of talismans. Brother Zhang turned to look and was stunned: “What are you doing?! Trying to zap me through the internet?!”

“No.” Chen Ji found the stack of protective talismans, pulled out several sheets, and began folding them. “They gave too much. I should provide some after-sales service, right?”

“You’re just giving away such expensive talismans?!” Brother Zhang stopped applying makeup and leaned closer to the screen to examine Chen Ji’s drawer. There were three stacks of Five Thunder Talismans alone, four stacks of exorcism and protection talismans—each stack nearly overflowing the drawer. Each stack must have contained at least a hundred sheets?

Based on the habits of the Taoists he knew, each talisman could easily sell for hundreds of thousands or even millions.

Chen Ji looked up at him. “Brother, didn’t you just say that what they gave me is nothing to them? Well, these talismans are nothing to me… The paper was something you helped me get. At most, I spent a little cinnabar. The ink costs 200 RMB a bottle, so each sheet averages about 50 cents.”

“When did you draw so many?” Brother Zhang asked, puzzled. The Taoist he knew treated drawing a single talisman like walking to the execution ground, dragging it out as long as possible and looking utterly drained afterward.

Chen Ji carefully folded the talismans as he spoke. “It’s not that bad. I just draw them when I can’t sleep these days… I’ve been taking a lot of tonics lately. If I don’t draw a few talismans, I can’t fall asleep.”

Just like today’s incident—if he hadn’t had the resources, could he have pulled out five Five Thunder Talismans at once? Without those five Five Thunder Talismans, wouldn’t he have been disgusted to the point of vomiting?

Thinking back to that crispy, fragrant scent, Chen Ji felt nauseous again.

Brother Zhang made a surrendering gesture. “You’re something else… I’ll handle the paperwork and mail it to you later. Gotta go—the event is starting.”

Chen Ji: “Have fun.”

Chen Ji hung up. By then, he had finished folding the talismans. He pulled a burlap bag from under the table—filled with high-end and classy wooden boxes he’d bought wholesale from Alibaba. They were cheaper in bulk, and he could choose the material and patterns himself.

He packed the talismans into the boxes, admiring how elegant they looked. Then he opened the window and called out, “Little Red!”

Little Red dashed out from the chicken coop like a red lightning bolt, resting its front paws on the windowsill and staring at Chen Ji with its beautiful, big eyes. Chen Ji’s heart softened at the sight. He rubbed its head and said gently, “Little Red, can you make a delivery for me?”

The Red Fox nodded without hesitation. Chen Ji explained the location and let it smell the knife stained with Jiao Fengqing’s blood. “It’s for this girl. Deliver the box to her and come back, okay?”

The Red Fox naturally agreed. Chen Ji grabbed its ears and gave them a good rub. “So good… I’ll roast a chicken for you tomorrow.”

The Red Fox smiled, nuzzling vigorously into Chen Ji’s palm before darting off. Second Master Huang poked his head out from the eaves. “Why not send me? It can’t even talk.”

Chen Ji beckoned him over. Second Master Huang leaped down from the eaves directly into Chen Ji’s palm, wrapping all four limbs around his wrist. Chen Ji stroked his fur. “Second Master, you must be tired today. How could I ask you to run errands?”

Second Master Huang immediately felt appeased. “Hmph, at least you have some conscience.”

System Cat crouched pitifully at the foot of the bed, watching Second Master Huang and Chen Ji snuggle. Chen Ji held Second Master Huang, itching to give him a bath—after all, he’d been out today, so he should bathe him… Wait, no, he should bathe Xiangxiang instead! Oh no! Xiangxiang had been to that mountain leech cave today! Who knows what filth she might have picked up!

The thought made Chen Ji wide awake.

He looked down at Second Master Huang. “Second Master, I feel like fishing.”

“Oh, sure.” Second Master Huang agreed instinctively, then realized what “fishing” meant and bristled. “Fishing in the middle of the night?! Aren’t you afraid of falling into a ditch?!”

Oh no! Chen Ji had just seen that person today, and before leaving, she had given Mountain Lord a provocative glance! And now Chen Ji wanted to seek that person out again? Was he not afraid Mountain Lord would find out and strangle him?!

Chen Ji wasn’t afraid. Although he hadn’t known Mountain Lord long, his personality was easy to figure out. Aside from his abnormally high combat power, he was practically defenseless. Chen Ji was dangling a carrot in front of him—the blue-robed ghost fairy had said that without incense, even gods can die.

If you can live, who wants to die?

Even ants cling to life.

Chen Ji could bring him incense—why would Mountain Lord want him dead? Especially now, at the beginning, when he’d only just tasted a crumb of that carrot. How could he bear to let go?

Chen Ji tucked Second Master Huang into his arms. “Please, Second Master, I really want to go fishing!”

“…” Second Master Huang sighed helplessly. “…Alright, alright.”

Let him have his way!

Soon, Second Master Huang watched as Chen Ji pulled out cat-specific shampoo in the bathroom and immediately understood his plan. Delighted, he eagerly led Chen Ji away.

Elsewhere, at the entrance of a cave in the mountains, a crowd of animals had gathered—mice, bats, snakes, centipedes, deer… All drawn by a fragrant scent.

But none dared enter.

Inside, there was a faint aura of lightning, extremely dangerous for minor spirits like them.

Suddenly, a lazy hissing sound echoed. The spirits who heard it rushed into the cave without hesitation. As they squeezed through the narrow tunnel, they saw the cave floor littered with mountain leeches, fried to a crisp by electricity.

In the center lay an enormous, twisted mountain leech, thicker than a tree.

The spirits halted, too afraid to approach. A cacophony of animal cries filled the air.

“It’s dead! The mountain leech is dead!”

“Who killed it? Who killed it?”

“I know… It was the temple keeper! He killed it! I saw him come here!”

“Why did the temple keeper kill it?!”

“It disobeyed Grandfather Mountain! It tricked people into coming here to eat them! The temple keeper found out and killed it! It didn’t listen!”

The little goblins exchanged glances, their deeply buried reverence for Mountain Lord resurfacing. In the next moment, the little goblins pounced on the mountain leech, scrambling for its carcass!

They listen to Grandfather Mountain! They don’t eat humans!

But Grandfather Mountain never said that they couldn’t eat a dead mountain leech!

Eat!

…Who knew bolt-roasted leeches could taste this good?

—A strange new concept was implanted in the minds of the little goblins.