Chapter 20 Sourness

Chapter 20: Bitter Taste

[...

My decision to break off the engagement with Lucas made my father extremely angry. He locked me up again and confiscated my Stellar Ring.

I was too naive back then. I thought I could get my way by pleading with my father and mother, relying on my status as a male. I overlooked the family interests behind this marriage alliance and my own importance as a bargaining chip.

My hunger strike didn't soften my father and mother's hearts. They were distressed that I didn't cherish my body, yet they could steel themselves to force-feed me nutrient fluids.

When I refused, my father had doctors administer nutrient injections.

When I tried to escape, my mother deployed several times more military males, surrounding the room so tightly that not even a drop of water could leak through.

When I threatened to harm myself, they countered by using Phoenix to threaten me.

I don't know how my father and mother found out about Phoenix and me. Perhaps their surveillance never stopped from the moment I stepped into the military academy.

By then, Phoenix had already joined the Fourth Army. He was highly capable; given the opportunity, his future would undoubtedly be bright.

I couldn't drag him down, so I had no choice but to compromise.

After that, I worried about Phoenix's safety every day, and soon my Mind Sea developed severe problems.

I began to stay awake all night. Every time I closed my eyes, I would see Phoenix lying in a pool of blood.

I was going insane.

...]

"No way, is Your Excellency really planning to make Phoenix his primary spouse??"

"As expected, males are just capricious!"

"The more I read, the stranger the background of this story feels. Does Zerg society have a tradition of arranged marriages? Isn't it all about matching?"

"Probably the author's creation, but this kind of system feels quite terrifying, leaving no room for individual choice."

"Restricted movement, forced compromise... it's so oppressive. I'm starting to understand the meaning of the story's title."

"How could there be such a male? The Streamer can only fool those low-ranking males who've never seen one. Anyone who's ever been on a date with a male wouldn't have any such illusions."

"Just wait and see. Anatole will definitely abandon Phoenix. A male wouldn't let himself suffer."

[...

I saw Phoenix again just before he departed for the battlefield. I don't know what reason Lucas used to convince my father to allow me to see Phoenix one last time.

By the time I arrived, the troops were already assembled and ready to depart.

Phoenix didn't have much time to talk to me. He didn't ask me why I suddenly disappeared, nor did he ask about my identity. He just tenderly stroked my cheek, urging me to take care of myself and to wait for him to return.

He said he would return with military merits, that he would strive to become worthy of me.

In truth, the one who wasn't worthy wasn't him; it was me.

It was my cowardice and incompetence that forced him to risk his life just to have a chance for us to be together.

I was wrong. I shouldn't have been greedy for Phoenix's warmth and dragged him into the mire.

He should have lived like a blazing sun.

But I couldn't bear to let go of the rare light in my life. So, I took the ring off my finger, placed it in Phoenix's hand, and told him that military merits didn't matter. I just wanted him to come back, to come back alive.

Phoenix solemnly promised.

This was the last time I saw Phoenix.

...]

"???"

"Last time? Did Phoenix die, or did the male give up?"

"Streamer, have you been traumatized? It was all sweet yesterday, why does it feel like there are knives everywhere today?!"

"Your Excellency Anatole's family has something wrong with their heads! It's just one male. If he can't be the primary spouse, just make him a Concubine! Why torment Your Excellency like this?"

"User YS gifted the streamer 10 Star Cruisers!"

"User YS gifted the streamer 10 Explorer Battleships!"

"Holy crap, Big Spender YS is throwing money around again."

YS's gifts successfully spurred the livestream audience. For a while, gifts large and small filled the screen. The livestream reappeared on the real-time update rankings. Coupled with hitting the usual broadcast time, the viewer count also began to skyrocket.

After typing the last word of the short segment, Samuel stopped. He had poured too much of his own real-life situation into the parts about Anatole's imprisonment and separation from Phoenix. Finishing it left him physically and mentally exhausted, with a heavy, suffocating feeling in his chest.

Rubbing his aching, weary eyes, Samuel opened the comment section. Skimming past the wailing and howling comments, he switched to the backend. The Super Administrator had drafted a contract an hour ago.

The contract was extremely lengthy, with professional and convoluted language. Samuel found it difficult to read. Just then, a message arrived, so he simply set it aside.

"YS: This story is very interesting. It's just that Anatole is too naive and also overlooks the essence of his confinement and imprisonment.

That cage was never built by the hands of any single male, but by all males together with the entire society."

"YS: He can't see the essence, blinded by arrogance, so he naturally charges ahead only to get hurt. It's just a pity for that male who loved him sincerely, regardless of his status or position."

"YS: Judging by the current plot development, they will soon be together.

I just wonder what the final straw that breaks Anatole will be.

Let me guess... could it be Phoenix's death? This story is getting more and more interesting."

"YS: However, streamer, you must be careful. Memoir-style descriptions are certainly eye-catching, but if the portrayal is excessive and pokes certain insects' sore spots, they won't let you off easily."

"Lin An: What do you mean by 'excessive portrayal'?"

"YS: For example, portraying males as too considerate. Or, letting males know a male's thoughts, leading them to pity the male."

"Lin An: ...Don't overthink it. These are fictional."

"YS: Are they?"

Samuel didn't reply further. The person on the other end was very sharp. Based on just a few words in the novel's description, they had glimpsed the unspoken truths hidden beneath the story. Saying more would risk mistakes; it was better to be cautious.

"That's all for today. If I have time later, I'll continue writing. If not, I'll let you know and write tomorrow."

"Streamer, why did you go live so early today? Isn't this usually when you're just getting started?"

"No way, streamer, why did you cut away right at the scary part again!"

"Ahhhhh, streamer, you're so cruel!!"

Muting the stream and minimizing the window, Samuel slumped back in his chair, closing his eyes to rest. By the time he felt a bit better, his stomach had been growling for a while. After tidying up the room and opening the window for ventilation, Samuel trudged downstairs.

"99, I'm hungry, is there anything to eat?" Samuel curled up on the sofa, chin resting on a cushion, weakly calling out to the robot.

But the robot, which usually buzzed around the male insect, didn't show up right away today.

"99? Are you there?"

Samuel got up and peered around, moving from the living room to the kitchen, then wandering over to the charging station, but still no sign of the little robot.

*In the yard?*

Thinking this, Samuel turned and walked to the door. Just as he placed his hand on the doorknob, *click*, the door opened from the outside.

Idris appeared in the doorway, arms full of stuffed toys in all shapes and sizes, while 99 followed behind, its arms overflowing with colorful flowers. Both insects were laden with bags, looking as if they had just returned from a market.

"Your Excellency, are you going out?" Idris said, stepping aside to make room, and 99, understanding the cue, also slid a few wheels to the side.

"No," Samuel said, quickly stepping back when he realized he was blocking the way. "Came downstairs, didn't see 99, thought it might be in the yard, was just about to go out and check."

Hearing its name, 99's red bean eyes turned into glowing hearts, and it chirped excitedly as it rushed inside to the male insect. "Your Excellency must have missed 99, that's why you were looking for 99, right!"

"Exactly." Samuel affectionately patted 99's forehead and casually took the flowers from its arms, heading toward the living room.

99 tagged along behind, whining in a deeply hurt tone about how it had knocked on the door this morning and been shut out. Samuel quickly comforted it.

The pair—one insect, one machine—chatted away as they made their way to the living room.

Idris was left standing there, watching the male insect's retreating back, his eyelashes lowering slightly as he casually closed the door and entered.

"99, is there still food in the fridge?" Samuel unwrapped the packaging and neatly arranged the flower bouquets on the table.

99 carefully handed the tools back to him and also placed a pink-blue glass vase filled with water nearby.

"Your Excellency, what would you like to eat? I'll make it fresh for you." Idris set down the stuffed toys and, without waiting for 99 to speak, took over the conversation, rolling up his sleeves as he prepared to head to the kitchen.

"It's already past mealtime. Let 99 check what's in the fridge, just heat it up. No need to make something new, that would be too much trouble." Samuel glanced at the female insect and quickly averted his eyes.

*Snip*, the excess leaves on the flower stems were trimmed off, cut at an angle, and then inserted into the vase.

Throughout, Samuel restrained himself from looking at Idris. He lowered his head and quietly took a deep breath, trying to ease the tightness in his chest.

But that emotion was like a vine, winding tighter and tighter, becoming more tangled the more he tried to sort it out, finally turning into a dull ache that fluttered restlessly in his heart.

Hearing the refusal, a flicker of surprise crossed Idris's face. For some reason, an indescribable gloom welled up in his heart, and his originally bright purple eyes dimmed slightly.

Stopping his movement toward the kitchen, Idris turned toward the living room.

Beside the sofa, the male insect was intently arranging the flowers. Once one vase was finished, 99 quickly brought a new one.

The insect and the machine worked together seamlessly, and from time to time, the male insect would praise 99, making the robot spin in place with joy.

They got along so harmoniously, like a family insect, while he felt excluded.

Why was this?

Hadn't the male insect always been clingy toward him before?

Had something happened while he was out?

Or was it related to the incident this morning?

Idris's fingers unconsciously tightened. His mind raced through countless guesses, but his expression remained calm as he replied in his usual gentle tone, "As long as Your Excellency enjoys the meal, I don't find it troublesome at all."

Samuel's hand trembled as he arranged the flowers. He looked up and met Idris's concerned, gentle gaze. His nose stung, and he almost couldn't maintain his composure.

He took a few breaths, forced out a stiff smile, and said in a muffled voice, "I'm not that delicate. Staying here is already troubling you enough. When it comes to food, you don't need to go to such lengths."

The male insect's smile was clearly forced. Idris sensed something was off, but whenever he tried to pinpoint it, he couldn't grasp the key. Instinctively, he walked over and sat down on the sofa, picking up a flower stem to hand to the male insect.

He could have simply agreed to the male insect's request, avoiding any potential risk of being targeted, but the words that came out were a tactful refusal: "Your Excellency is still in recovery. Doing this might not be..."

"I'm fine." Samuel interrupted Idris, his eyes half-lowered as he added, as if trying to cover something up, "My body is already fine. You don't need to worry too much, and you don't need to go out of your way to accommodate me."

Hearing this, Idris recalled the male insect's request from a few days ago. He pursed his lips and asked again, unwilling to give up: "Then, for breakfast later, do you still need me..."

To accompany you?

"No need." Samuel set down the scissors and handed the finished vase to 99. The robot, holding the vase, wandered around the living room looking for the perfect spot, earnest and adorable.

Seeing this, Samuel turned back with a smile, struggling to maintain his expression as he said with forced lightness, "99 is very capable. We can leave it to it from now on."

Being refused again, and realizing the male insect was clearly drawing a line between them, Idris's heart suddenly felt as if something had lightly tugged at it. A strange emotion he had never felt before churned in his heart.

Back when he was first asked to take care of the male insect and share breakfast, he hadn't been happy about it. But now that he was getting his wish, he felt as if a hole had been torn in his chest, leaving it painfully empty.

"Really no need?" Idris paused, his voice slightly hoarse.

"Mhm." Samuel nodded, still smiling. "No need."

Author's Note:

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Dear readers, do you think the synopsis reads clearly? I feel like it needs some tweaking, but I have no ideas at the moment. [Cheek resting] [Cheek resting]

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August X, 4056 Cloudy Weekday X

Why is he unhappy? I heard male insects like stuffed toys. Should I go buy some to cheer him up?