Chapter 50 Plague Speculation

Chapter 50: Conjectures About the Plague

Disappearance, mental abnormality, Mind Plague, suicide, being drugged, loss of self-healing ability...

While fetching the meal, the key terms from the dossier kept circling in Idris's mind.

The jumble of information swirled together like a vast labyrinth. Idris wandered through it, feeling he was very close to the answer, yet always unable to find the exit.

What exactly was missing?

As he hurried back to the ward, Idris mentally reviewed and sorted the information again. During this process, he noticed a detail he had overlooked.

Avis disappeared at the age of 20. Not long after being found, he was infected with the Mind Plague and committed suicide.

Yet this male, who had committed suicide due to the Mind Plague hundreds of years ago, was now being projected into Samuel's differentiation-induced hallucination.

Immediately, Idris thought of his conversation with Ivar yesterday.

Male insects experiencing hallucinations during secondary differentiation began hundreds of years ago.

The drug from the earlier investigation, which could slow a male's recovery speed, also appeared hundreds of years ago.

The Mind Plague appeared hundreds of years ago.

After awakening from secondary differentiation, male insects widely began losing emotional control in specific situations, and some started abusing females—also hundreds of years ago.

This was all far too coincidental.

Drug, Mind Plague, secondary differentiation hallucination, male brutality.

Idris muttered these terms, and suddenly a thought flashed through his mind. Could the drug have caused the Mind Plague, which then triggered the hallucinations during secondary differentiation?

This would explain why males who died by suicide from the Mind Plague were projected into secondary differentiation hallucinations.

It would also explain why males lost control in specific situations, even showing stress responses, like irritability and rage.

If males strike and berate females because they were forced or even abused by females in their secondary differentiation hallucinations, then the ingrained beliefs of many females are wrong.

Males never strike females because they like to. It's because of their experiences in the hallucinations, leading to stress reactions, even fear and retaliation, in certain situations, that they hit and scold females.

Realizing this, Idris suddenly understood why males always mingled in the chat whenever Samuel livestreamed, sneering at the female viewers and stirring up trouble.

They were shouting, venting, retaliating.

But females couldn't understand the males' hatred, couldn't understand their venting, couldn't understand their mercurial moods.

Females simply assumed, one-dimensionally, that males were delicate, had bad tempers, and were finding any excuse to punish them for no reason.

Many females even felt that males had been coddled into uselessness, rotten to the core.

But they didn't know that for the past few hundred years, males might have been in pain, day after day, reliving dreams of being humiliated and trampled upon.

And the insects trampling them in their dreams were the very ones they loved most in real life.

Idris stood outside the ward door, looking through the glass to see Samuel sitting on the edge of the bed, toying with his Stellar Ring while waiting for him.

He seemed no different from usual, but considering the speculation, the more normal the male appeared, the more it distressed and frightened Idris.

He feared Samuel would suddenly erupt one day, becoming as frenzied as his Sire during his illness. He also feared Samuel would harm himself where he couldn't see. He feared even more that Samuel would fear, distance himself from, or even hate him.

At this moment, Idris suddenly understood his own Dam. Understood why he confined Sire to the estate, why he abandoned his dignity in childhood, humbly begging Sire to stay.

Because Dam loved Sire. He was terrified of losing him.

Idris was afraid too.

"Brother!"

After replying to Li'an's message, Samuel, noticing Idris wasn't back yet, intended to go out and check. But as soon as he looked up, he spotted Idris standing motionless outside the door through the glass, a sorrowful look on his face.

Peering around the doorframe, Samuel called out again.

Only then did Idris snap out of it. He forced a faint smile, trying hard to keep his voice the same as before he left: "My apologies, Your Excellency, for making you wait so long."

"I didn't wait long at all."

Samuel opened the door, his eyes smiling as he welcomed Idris in. He naturally took Idris's hand and followed him to sit at the table.

During the meal, Idris remained silent throughout. As usual, he accompanied Samuel, deboning the fish, picking out the garnishes Samuel disliked.

The two of them, one eating, one feeding, quickly finished dinner together.

After accompanying Idris to dispose of the trash, Samuel suddenly got a whim, tugging at Idris and insisting on a walk downstairs.

Idris didn't object. He accompanied the male, walking around the ward building circle after circle. The male seemed in high spirits, running ahead, jumping and playfully trying to step on his shadow.

Idris followed silently behind, watching.

Only after playing to his heart's content did Samuel, his enthusiasm spent, pull Idris back to the ward.

By the time Idris finished getting Samuel ready for bed and tucked him in, and had tidied himself up, it was nearly eleven o'clock.

Idris originally intended to leave, but just as he was about to speak, Samuel spoke first. Leaning against the headboard, Samuel patted the space he'd intentionally left open and beckoned, "Brother, come here."

Idris hesitated. He was afraid getting too close might trigger Samuel's traumatic memories from the hallucination.

"Brother, you promised me this morning!" By now, Samuel's mouth had turned down at the corners, his dark eyes solemn, his expression clouded.

Seeing this, Idris's heart tightened. He quickly complied and walked to the bedside.

Seeing Idris approach, Samuel's expression eased slightly. Once the male reached the bedside, he directly stretched out a long arm, pulled him down onto the bed, and pinned him beneath him.

Looking down at Idris from above, his face stern, he interrogated, "Brother, did something happen when you went out earlier? Why have you been so sullen since coming in? Just now, when I tried to cheer you up, you didn't even smile."

Idris was surprised by Samuel's perceptiveness. Suppressing the urge to confess everything, he supported the male's waist, protecting him. "It's nothing, I'm just a bit worried about Your Excellency's health."

"Your Mind Sea was already unstable before. Now, because of me, helping Luoken and Aosen stabilize their Mind Seas caused you to suddenly undergo secondary differentiation. I really..."

Idris didn't finish the sentence.

Samuel moved his finger from pressing on Idris's lips and stroked the female's face. He originally wanted to say, 'I did this willingly, I'm happy I could help you.' But before he could speak, the scene from when he woke up yesterday flashed through his mind.

"Brother, I... hit you yesterday?" Samuel couldn't believe he had laid a hand on Idris. His voice trembled as he spoke, his hand shaking too.

Idris didn't want Samuel to blame himself. Ignoring the tickling sensation on his cheek, he explained, "That was just an accident. You weren't fully conscious then. Besides, you had just woken up, your strength wasn't that great. It didn't hurt at all."

"It was red, how could it not hurt?" Samuel felt somewhat guilty. "Brother, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I just couldn't tell the difference. I thought you were..."

Samuel abruptly stopped. Looking at the female beneath him, he vaguely remembered Eric, who had the same appearance. He also remembered the drug injected into his body, his broken ankle, and the desperate pleas in the bedroom the night Eric's mind went into turmoil.

Is that me? Am I struggling?

No, that's not me! It's not me!

I'm not Avis! My brother isn't Eric!

Idris wouldn't hurt me or force me. Those things are false, false!

"Idris... my head hurts so much."

Samuel strained to open his eyes wide, slapping his head hard, trying to shake off the image of Eric smiling at him. But the memories from the illusion were like a balloon with a leak, rebounding after hitting bottom and crashing chaotically in his mind.

He was gradually getting confused about who was Idris and who was Eric.

Idris sensed something was wrong the moment Samuel's voice stopped. He immediately turned over, wrapping his arms around the boy curled into a ball.

He reached out to press the call button but was stopped. Samuel buried his face in his shoulder, his voice weak yet persistent, calling his name over and over, without pause.

As if his name were a potent painkiller.

A warm teardrop fell onto Samuel's neck. He stopped calling out, raised his hand, and the teardrop landed on his fingertip, like a transparent crystal.

"Idris," Samuel stared curiously at the droplet on his hand, his tear-dampened eyelashes fluttering twice, "are you crying?"

"Is this your gift to me?"

More tears fell like pearls onto his neck. Samuel trembled slightly, stung by their heat.

"Don't cry." Samuel clenched the teardrop from his fingertip in his palm and reached out with his other hand to pat Idris's back.

Even though he was in so much pain he couldn't stop the tears, barely daring to breathe, he looked directly at Idris and said, "I'm not in pain. I was lying to you just now."

"My acting is superb, right?"

"Idris, why aren't you praising me!"

"Your Excellency... is very impressive," Idris replied in a hoarse voice.

Samuel said proudly, "Of course," then buried himself back in Idris's arms, biting his lip and making no more sound.

The dampened clothes gradually clung to Idris's body. The cool sensation was like water poured over him on the coldest winter day, chilling him to the point of uncontrollable trembling.

Idris held the boy in his arms tightly. There were no wounds, yet he felt it hurt more than when he had nearly died fighting the star beast, his limbs shattered.

Then Idris remembered the information he had seen, the speculations, and the warning his father had specifically sent, telling him not to ask.

An inexplicable hatred welled up in his heart.

He hated the secondary differentiation, hated the illusion, and hated himself most of all for causing all this.

"I'm sorry, Samuel. It's my fault," Idris said in a hoarse, low voice. "But I have nothing to compensate you with. Only this heart is still pure. Do you want it?"

Samuel didn't answer. He leaned against the familiar embrace and fell into a deep sleep. When he groggily opened his eyes, it was already the next day.

The morning sun shone through the window into the hospital room, filling it with bright light.

Idris still maintained the same position from the night before. Samuel moved slightly and found it impossible to get up without waking the man, so he gave up struggling and settled comfortably back into bed.

Except for the previous morning, this was the first time Samuel had openly gazed at Idris while he slept.

Samuel propped up his head, scanning Idris's face, feeling that every feature was exactly to his liking. Especially those purple eyes—sharp, clear, and bright like gemstones when open.

Every time he saw them, Samuel couldn't help but want to lean in and kiss them.

Ah, but he didn't dare.

Forty minutes after Samuel woke up, Idris awoke to find Samuel had regained his usual cheerful and bright demeanor.

The moment Idris woke, the young man leaned in and called out "brother" crisply, resting his hands on the pillow beside him, blinking his eyes repeatedly without saying a word.

Recently, Idris had been staying by Samuel's side almost constantly, getting very little sleep. So, having finally slept well, he was unusually groggy upon waking.

At first, Idris didn't understand the young man's intention until Samuel, somewhat annoyed, raised his hand and touched his own lips. Then Idris remembered.

The day before, the young man had said there should be a good morning kiss every day.

Idris had agreed, and he never went back on his word.

So Idris propped himself up, leaning forward bit by bit. When he was so close their breaths almost mingled, he stopped.

Samuel's fingertip pressed against Idris's lips, pushing him back slightly. Then he shook his head and pointed to his own slightly flushed cheek.

Idris felt a bit disappointed but obediently placed a kiss where the fingertip had pointed.

"Brother, I like you so much!"

"I like Your Excellency too."

Receiving a clear response for the first time, Samuel was overjoyed. He thought to himself, finally, finally, he didn't have to worry about suddenly leaving his brother one day.

Thinking about being able to live with Idris from now on and getting a kiss every day, Samuel felt life was a hundred times more wonderful than he could ever have imagined.

Finally having his wish fulfilled, Samuel was as happy as a little bird all morning. Every Doctor and Nurse who entered the room received his cheerful greetings.

The staff who were greeted were so pleasantly surprised that they completed Samuel's check-up in a daze, left in a daze, and then, back at their posts, excitedly shook their colleagues to boast about it.

When Bulan arrived at the room again with MPA officials, he happened to witness Samuel smiling as he bid farewell to a Doctor. He was lucky enough to receive half a smile.

Bulan: ...

"Your Excellency, how are you feeling today?" Bulan decided not to take it personally with a newly adult young man.

"Pretty good," Samuel hummed a tuneless melody, replying in between, "I'm being discharged later."

"What! What's going on with Idris! You just woke up and haven't been observed for a few more days, and he's letting you be discharged? If something happens to you after you go back, can he bear the responsibility?!" Bulan was about to go crazy, feeling like he needed oxygen on standby.

"Bu-lan, what-did-you-just-say?" Samuel stared at Bulan with a smile that didn't reach his eyes, his tone calm, but his gaze like icy blades. Bulan shivered and instantly fell silent.

Just as the two were in a standoff, Idris returned. Samuel immediately broke into a smile, fluttering over to Idris like a butterfly.

Bulan witnessed the entire process, gaining a deeper understanding of Samuel's double standards. He didn't bring up staying a few more days again, allowing Idris to lead the young man past him.

Returning to the villa again, Samuel suddenly felt as if a lifetime had passed. This house, where he had stayed for so long, was filled with traces of him and Idris.

With every step he took, a new memory surfaced in his mind. As the memories gradually pieced themselves together, Samuel suddenly realized that compared to when he first arrived, this house had changed a lot.

The once blank walls were now covered with paintings he had drawn. The empty sofa and tabletops were lined with rows of plush toys and fresh flowers. And the refrigerator, which once held only nutrient solutions, was now stocked with his favorite desserts.

Most importantly, here was the brother who liked him—the brother he had chosen for himself.

"Brother" used to say that a brother means family.

He found a bug willing to be his brother.

Here, he's finally found a home.

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Author's note: Star Calendar 4056, September X, Thunderstorm, Weekday X

I'm sorry.