Chapter 39 Ending

Chapter 39: Conclusion

Staring at the screen for too long made his head feel strangely dizzy. Samuel pressed his temples uncomfortably, opened the comment section, and decided to take a break.

"Ugh, stop discussing relationships between females! I'm really curious why some say the path out is locked. In reality, aren't Your Excellencies free to do whatever they want?"

"Can males go out to work?"

"Why would Your Excellencies, delicate and frail, need to work outside? Being well-fed and well-cared for is much better."

"So, you see, reality isn't much different from the story. The only difference is that in the story, males are forced to service females, while outside, through marriage, males legally service females."

"Why do Your Excellencies want to go out to work?"

"It's not about wanting to work; it's about having the right to choose. Otherwise, without the support of females, males only have death waiting for them."

"But we wouldn't stop supporting Your Excellencies..."

"...Is that the point? Damn it, I can't get through to you fools!!"

Samuel: ...

Males are indeed volatile.

Females... all their skill points went into physical strength.

Samuel skimmed through the dialogue where males and females were talking past each other, feeling he still needed to try harder. Given the females' thought process, getting them to understand seemed... unlikely.

Beep beep.

Samuel withdrew his hand, which was about to start typing, and opened the small window, finding it was N·YD, who hadn't appeared for a long time.

"N·YD: Do you like males?"

Samuel: ?

Testing my gender?

"Lin An: I respect all orientations."

"N·YD: Sorry, I was a bit impulsive."

Samuel felt N·YD's appearance this time was rather odd. He politely replied that it was fine, glanced at the message from Li'an that still hadn't arrived, switched back to the live broadcast interface, and continued typing the rest of the content.

[...

When Dmitri woke up, I was sitting by the window. Outside, the moonlight was hazy, and Philetus was smiling softly at me.

Hearing movement behind me, I turned around. Dmitri, ignoring the state of his postpartum body, struggled to walk to my side. He wanted to hug me but reluctantly let his arms drop.

After a long while, he said he was sorry.

I asked him, who was that apology for?

He stared at me and slowly said, Philetus.

Dmitri wasn't a stupid bug. From the moment I appeared before him, he knew I wasn't Philetus. He was just deceiving himself, using me as a substitute.

After all, I looked too much like Philetus and was more proactive than him. I fulfilled all his fantasies about Philetus and about males.

He willingly stepped into the trap.

But a simple "sorry" wasn't enough.

Dmitri needed to personally experience Philetus's pain and not harbor hatred afterward to be worthy of that apology.

...]

"Sigh, Dmitri is also a lovesick insect."

[...

Females have a heat cycle once a month. During this time, they are weaker than usual. A female who has been mentally marked will suffer more acutely than an ordinary female if she doesn't receive the pheromones of the male who marked her during her heat.

To obtain pheromones, marked females often become obedient to the male. This is also why records of mental marking were destroyed.

It was precisely because I knew this that I chose to mark Dmitri regardless of the risk to my life. Fortunately, I succeeded.

Every heat cycle was agonizing for Dmitri. The tide of desire surged within his body, but I refused to touch him. My body was no longer strong enough to withstand him using force, so he could only endure.

But I am, after all, kind-hearted, so I found him an insect who cherished him deeply to help him through it.

...

Lans embraced the moonlight he had longed for. Suppressing his excitement, he became one with the resilient body beneath him. The chains at the corner of the bed clanged against the bed frame with the rocking. Dmitri gritted his teeth, swallowing the moan threatening to escape his throat, his eyes misty as he silently watched me.

I turned a deaf ear to the commotion and gaze behind me, curled up in the moonlight, humming Philetus's favorite nursery rhyme, missing my moon.

...]

"Damn..."

"Help, Your Excellency is truly ruthless. Being violated by a sworn enemy is a living nightmare!"

"He loves him, he loves him, a perfect, tragic circle. (Bitter laugh)"

[I was sent back to the Insect Star. The Manager, upon learning that my Mind Sea was almost completely ruined, flew into a rage. But fortunately, this body could still release pheromones. The Manager then contentedly replaced the monthly 10 mental grooming sessions with 5 pheromone sessions.

I knew opposing was useless, and since I wanted to live, I could only pay the price with what I had to give. I became a bed, with different faces getting on and off it one after another. They were satisfied with my obedience, deriving desire and satisfaction from my uncontrollable physical reactions.

I looked down, examining that alluring yet long-rotted body, averted my gaze, and pulled Philetus to lean against the window with me, watching the starlight.]

"I can't take it anymore, this part is giving me heartache."

"Feels like Your Excellency Lunxi has had a mental breakdown."

[...

Every month during Dmitri's heat cycle, he would submit an application. Lans would come with him. I would tidy up the side chamber for them, and while Lans possessed Dmitri, I would help soothe the struggling military female.

Of course, sometimes I also had to give Dmitri some pheromones. If anything happened to Dmitri, Lans would definitely kill me.

Even if it's dirty and utterly undignified, I must live.

After each session, Dmitri would ask me where his offspring was. Sometimes I told him Lans knew; other times I told him the offspring was smashed to death right after birth.

I watched Dmitri's suppressed emotions with satisfaction, smiling as I told him the egg wasn't broken. If he wanted to know where it was, he should ask Lans.

Lans would occasionally show Dmitri photos of the offspring. For the sake of the offspring, Dmitri chose to endure the possession again and again. Undeniably, he was a good parent; otherwise, Lans wouldn't have succeeded so easily.]

Once, on a whim, I asked Dmitri if he hated me. If it weren’t for me, none of this would have happened—he wouldn’t be unable to see his child, wouldn’t be subjugated to another male, and wouldn’t have to beg me so desperately every time.

Dmitri fell silent for a long time. He said he did hate me, but he knew I hated him too. We were both just pitiful insects trapped by love.

Then he apologized to me again. I asked, “To whom this time?”

He said, “To you, Lunxi.”

“I’m sorry you lost Philetus, and I’m sorry Philetus had to endure pain again and again. I didn’t mean to—I just liked him, but I didn’t know how to express it.”

“From childhood, I was taught that the only way to get what you want is to take it—and that applied to male insects too.”

“But on the Imperial Star, only military achievements could open the door to Planet K48, so I threw myself into the battlefield, and it changed me.”

“When I finally set foot on Planet K48 through my military merits and met Philetus, I got a taste of it. I became addicted to the glory and satisfaction war brought me, and I felt an uncontrollable urge—I wanted to possess the male insect before me.”

“Perhaps it was a male’s possessiveness toward a male insect at play, but I didn’t realize it. Philetus’s indifferent attitude toward me made me furious, so I acted on instinct.”

“I know an apology can’t make up for the suffering Philetus endured, so I can endure Lans’s possession as atonement, and I can accept your revenge.”

“But the little one is innocent. No matter what, please don’t harm him.”

Dmitri’s words were sincere. I could feel his genuine remorse—and that he wasn’t entirely heartless.

But remorse wouldn’t bring Philetus back to life, and apologies were useless now.

…

“It’s been so long, and Your Excellency Lunxi has finally received an apology. It’s been too hard.” *(sobbing)*

“I deeply empathize with Dmitri. Male warriors risk their lives on the battlefield, all just to earn that ticket for a date with the male insects.” *(sigh)*

“If not through seizing, then what? Love? A male insect loving a male? That’s the biggest joke I’ve ever heard!”

“How do you know male insects don’t love?”

…

Winter came again. Without Philetus, the fireplace felt much colder than it had years before.

I tossed the blood-stained handkerchief into the fire, struggled to nestle into Philetus’s clothes, and in the biting cold, searched for Philetus’s figure, begging him to hold me.

Just as I was about to fall into a deep sleep, Dmitri came downstairs. He carried me back to the bedroom, with Lans following closely behind, protecting him.

Watching their retreating figures, I couldn’t help but wonder: What started this revenge that trapped all of us?

Was it my affection for Philetus?

Or Dmitri’s desire for a male insect?

I didn’t know.

But one thing was clear to me. There was nothing wrong with me, a male insect, liking Philetus. There was nothing wrong with Lans, a male, liking Dmitri. And there was nothing wrong with Dmitri, a male, liking Philetus.

Then what was wrong?

And what pushed us toward this ending?

Perhaps only the Insect God knows.

“…”

“Author! You’re breaking our hearts again!!! I don’t want an ending like this! Separated by death, lost in fantasies, waiting for death!!! It’s too painful!” *(crying bitterly)*

“This ending is so oppressive…”

“Author, can you write something sweet? Reality is already bitter enough!” *(sobbing)*

“Actually, no one was wrong.”

“Then what was wrong? What drove one S-class male insect to his death and drove another to madness?”

“I understand why Your Excellency Lunxi liked Your Excellency Felix. Among all the insects, only Your Excellency Felix loved and protected him with his life. After Your Excellency Felix died, no one loved Lunxi anymore.”

“Fine, let them torment each other like this. No one gets what they want.”

“Isn’t reality the same?”

“How is it the same? In reality, male warriors wouldn’t dare torment male insects.”

“How do you know they don’t?”

“Are you guys male insects? Can you explain why? My Male Master and I… ever since he differentiated, he suddenly gets angry every month and hides away. I’ve secretly observed him, and he seems to be in pain, but every time I try to approach, he scolds me.” *(sobbing)*

“To the commenter above, if you pay close attention, you might notice a pattern in his irritability. Avoid the special triggers, and spend more time with him at other times. Once your relationship improves, if he’s willing, he’ll tell you. If not, don’t ask.”

Special triggers?

Samuel reread the comments in the section, his gaze finally settling on the words “secondary differentiation.” Li’an had also said before that he would understand after his secondary differentiation.

Understand what?

Could there be an issue with male insects’ secondary differentiation?

Beep, beep, beep.

The sound of the Stellar Ring interrupted Samuel’s thoughts. He looked away and opened the message box.

“Li’an: Luoken and Aosen are comrades from Major General Idris’s Second Army. They recently retired from the border planet due to mental unrest. Idris has been handling their affairs at the hospital this whole time.”

“Li’an: I also found out that Major General Idris has been frequently visiting high-ranking male insects lately and taking them to the hospital. He’s probably looking for male insects to perform Mind Sea cleansing for Luoken and Aosen.”

“Mu: Are their conditions severe?”

“Li’an: It’s said they’ve already partially insectified. Once they fully insectify, it’s basically beyond saving.”

“Mu: Can cleansing by high-ranking male insects slow down the insectification?”

“Li’an: Yes. And if the rank is high enough to soothe the frenzied Mind Sea, it can basically restore the military male to normal. That’s likely why Major General Idris has been meeting with male insects so often.”

“Mu: Okay, thank you.”

So the scent on Idris was probably picked up unintentionally while visiting male insects or at the hospital.

Understanding this, Samuel felt relieved. But then unease crept in again. This time it was a misunderstanding, but what about in the future?

Idris cared about him now and was willing to let him stay. But what if, in the future, he found someone he liked more, or settled down, had a Male Master—would he still keep him around?

Samuel thought of the various posts about sharing male Zerg he had seen on the Star Network and sighed inwardly, thinking it would probably be very difficult.

It seems I still need to increase the stakes.

After some thought, Samuel had a plan in mind.

Compared to empty promises and fleeting affection, gratitude and guilt might be better at tying down a bug.

"Mu: Do you have time now? Come to my place. I'll perform a psychic repair for you."

"Li'an: But Major General Idris..."

"Mu: If you miss this, the next chance won't come for at least half a year."

"Li'an: On my way!"

After closing the message, Samuel posted an end-of-broadcast notice. Then he opened the photo album, entered the password, clicked on the latest photo, and traced his finger over the image of the sleeping bug inside.

Brother...

You won't let me down, will you?

-----------------------

Author's note: [Chilling] The second part is over, and we're moving onto a new plotline.