Chapter 21 Knowing

Chapter 21 Knowing

Xie Chong simply looked at Mou Wen, his gaze seeming to bore into her soul, trying to tell if she was real or fake.

Was it real or fake? Sincere or just pretending?

Mou Wen stared right back at Xie Chong without flinching. She liked him—liked someone she could never have—and there was nothing to be ashamed of. Liking someone is never something to be ashamed of.

Last night, when she kissed him, there was a moment just like this—fearless, bold. Were all the little lambs and calves back in Yakeshi like this? Xie Chong wondered.

Xie Chong had never encountered anything like this.

Sure, people had liked him before—plenty of them. They'd show interest in a breezy, casual way. They would ask him: "Hey handsome, wanna give it a shot?" Or they'd cut to the chase and ask if he wanted to go grab a seat somewhere. Xie Chong's rejections were blunt: "Sorry, not interested."

Sometimes the other person was rude, or said stuff that really rubbed him the wrong way, and he'd say: "Go take a look in the mirror."

He figured if he were a truly nasty guy and told Mou Wen to check herself in the mirror, she'd probably whip out a little mirror, genuinely admire herself for a sec, and then ask, "And then what?"

He could also tell Mou Wen "I don't like you," but that scared him. Xie Chong didn't really have friends. Running into Mou Wen was a rare stroke of luck. He knew it for a fact: every time he saw Mou Wen, his heart felt full, and the happiness just welled up from deep inside.

That afternoon, he'd even thought: Maybe I should just cut her off. But the second that thought crossed his mind, his chest tightened like something was yanking at his heart, and it hurt bad.

Qian Song had been camped out at his place all afternoon, grilling Xie Chong about where he'd gone last night, since Xie Chong never bailed on him. If Xie Chong wouldn't spill, he wasn't leaving—said he'd order a ton of food and sit on his couch till it caved in.

Oh right—Qian Song. He was still at the apartment, just in the bathroom, saying he needed to clear his pipes so he could drink Xie Chong under the table.

Xie Chong motioned for Mou Wen to head out, but she didn't get it, so he stepped forward and said softly, "Let's talk outside."

"I don't..."

Before Mou Wen could finish, he slid an arm around her waist, lifted her clean off the floor, and carried her out, shutting the door with his other hand.

"Is it a problem for me to talk inside?" Mou Wen asked.

"Yeah. I've got company." Xie Chong said. Now was definitely not the time to talk about that kiss with Mou Wen. Xie Chong didn't want what happened between him and Mou Wen to become gossip material—not even for Qian Song.

He always figured what went on between them was their business, not for anyone else to weigh in on.

"Head home first," Xie Chong said. "I'll call you."

"I don't have your number, and you don't have mine," Mou Wen said. "I lost my phone, didn't keep my old number, and I lost yours too."

Xie Chong looked at Mou Wen carefully when he heard that. "You bought the same phone?"

"Yeah, 'cause it was cheap," Mou Wen admitted. "I checked all the others—too pricey. This one was affordable..." She dropped her head as she talked, then said, sounding a little hurt: "I looked up your work number in the company system and called, but you hung up on me. I came by your place looking for you, but you were never home. I thought about leaving you a note, but I knew I didn't matter that much to you..."

"Xie Chong, I don't know how to do this the right way. I really don't. I never learned, and nobody ever taught me..."

"I hope I didn't offend you last night. I'm really sorry. I wasn't drunk... I remember everything... I can't just use being drunk as an excuse to brush it off—that'd be too low... I..."

She'd bought the same phone because it was cheap. Xie Chong believed that part. But he didn't buy the rest. In this world, if someone really wants to find another person, they'll always find a million ways to do it.

His heart felt like it was soaking in lemon juice—so damn sour. He sighed again and said, "Give me your new number."

Mou Wen was thrilled, almost jumping out of her skin. "I'll write it down for you."

"No need. Just tell me."

"You can remember it?"

"I can."

"Then why don't you just give me—"

"Tell me your number," Xie Chong said. "Now."

Mou Wen rattled off her number, and Xie Chong nodded, then hit the elevator button. Mou Wen glanced back at Xie Chong's door, figuring maybe a female friend was inside, which was why he was so on edge. He didn't want her to keep talking, and he didn't answer her either. But whatever—she'd said everything she wanted to say.

The elevator doors slid open, and Mou Wen stepped in. She just looked at him, hoping he'd say something else.

She loved hearing him speak.

And he did.

He tilted his chin toward her feet: "Your shoelace is untied."

The doors shut, and he let out a long breath.

The second he reached his door, it swung open. Qian Song stood there with his arms crossed, eyeing him with way too much interest. Xie Chong knew he was dying to ask a million questions, so he said, "Shut up."

Qian Song rolled his eyes and silently mimicked him: Shut up.

He'd heard everything from the bathroom—some girl had shown up at the door to confess her feelings! Wait, how would some girl know where he lived? Besides him and Jiang Wu, who else would even know his place?

Qian Song was furious.

He sat on the couch, arms crossed, leg bouncing nonstop. He tried to ask a few times, but every time, Xie Chong just shut him down with a single "Shut up."

He sulked for a while, knowing that if Xie Chong didn't want to talk, you could pry his mouth open and yank his teeth out and he still wouldn't say a word. That's just how the guy was—stubborn as hell.

If it were nobody special, Xie Chong would've told him. The more he clammed up, the more obvious it was that this girl was anything but ordinary.

Finally, Qian Song said, "I don't care what's going on between you and that girl. I'm your best friend, and that's not gonna change."

"Yeah, it's not changing," Xie Chong finally said. He knew exactly how to handle Qian Song. "Nobody's taking your spot."

Qian Song looked smug for a second, then started mimicking Mou Wen: "I know you don't like me. But I like you. It's fine."

Xie Chong chucked a throw pillow at Qian Song, not even realizing his face had gone red—something that almost never happened.

Qian Song laughed so hard his stomach ached, going "ow, ow" between fits of giggles.

Mou Wen left Xie Chong's place feeling light as a feather. She'd eaten way too much at dinner and still hadn't fully digested. Not knowing where else to go, she headed to the track at Renmin University to run.

She ran seven klicks alone in the night breeze.

As she ran, she thought back to the day Xie Chong ran with her.

Like any girl, once she fell in love, she started imagining that everything in the world was tied to him—tied to the two of them. Wave after wave of missing him made her heart ache.

When she got home, she was shocked to see Chu Ling was back!

Chu Ling said this flight was the cheapest, so she didn't hesitate to come back. Chu Ling had brought Mou Wen some Zhou Hei Ya.

She'd gone to the store just for it—duck racks, duck necks, and duck collarbones, all loose, bagged up separately in plastic. It looked pretty rough, but Chu Ling said, "Mou Wen, dig in. People in Wuhan love this stuff."

Mou Wen had tried it in college when a classmate from Wuhan brought some back, also in plastic bags. But after the long train ride, it had lost some of its flavor by the time it hit campus—still tasty, though.

"Wanna drink?" Chu Ling pulled out two cans of beer, offering one to Mou Wen. Mou Wen said, "Then hold on while I whip up a cold side dish."

She quickly tossed together a cold dish from the leftover bits in the fridge—cucumber, lettuce, boiled peanuts, and tofu—then sat down with Chu Ling for a drink.

The two sat cross-legged on stools, each gnawing on a duck neck, pinky fingers raised as they nibbled.

"So good," Mou Wen said. "Why is this so good?"

"I think so too, and the sweet tofu pudding is amazing too, but I couldn't bring any back with me. It wouldn't taste the same once I brought it back." Chu Ling said, "Mou Wen, business trips are so fun, I love going on them so much."

"I'm so jealous you get to travel, you go everywhere, it's amazing. Besides Inner Mongolia, I've only been to Tianjin and Beijing... I really want to see more of the world..." Mou Wen said between bites of duck neck, "I've seen buildings from all over the world in books, each one so different, and I really want to see what they're really like..."

"They're so beautiful." Chu Ling said, "If we get the chance, we'll go see them all, travel the whole world."

"Travel the whole world. Cheers."

After taking a sip of beer, Chu Ling said a little shyly, "Mou Wen... I've got a secret to tell you..."

"What?"

"I'm seeing someone." Chu Ling couldn't hide her joy as she shared the news with Mou Wen. She looked at Mou Wen with a smile in her eyes, waiting for her reaction.

Mou Wen stopped mid-bite on the duck neck, her eyes widened, and then she wriggled with excitement on the stool, unable to contain herself: "Ah—" she let out a little squeal, "Chu Ling! Chu Ling! Do you like him? Huh? Do you?"

Chu Ling nodded quickly, a huge grin spreading across her face: "I do! I like him!"

Mou Wen had met the guy Chu Ling liked.

He was a particularly down-to-earth, clean-cut, kind, and intelligent guy. Chu Ling said he had the sexiest brain on the planet, that the code he typed on his keyboard could accomplish anything.

Chu Ling called him Mr. A.

Mr. A was incredibly impressive—he was an expert in big data models and his company had sent him to Boston for an exchange program. He called Chu Ling from across the ocean and said to her, "You have the most gifted pen in the world, and I have the most powerful code. Your words and my code were made for each other."

A perfect match!

When Mou Wen heard that, she almost burst into tears. When a hardcore science guy lays out romance for you, that romance must bridge the gap between rational thought and emotional imagination.

It was just so beautiful!

Chu Ling wiped away happy tears as she spoke: "Mou Wen, I think we'll have a home in Beijing soon."

"Really!" Mou Wen was about to squeal again when Chu Ling continued, "Mou Wen, listen to me. We've known each other for a few years now, and we know each other well. We've been taking things slow, and now that the wall between us is down, we even want to get married ASAP."

Mou Wen nodded: "Do it, get married already! I've met him, and I think he's a good person."

"We'll buy a house..."

"Buy it!"

"Before that, we'll move in together..."

"Move in!"

Mou Wen was rubbing her hands together in excitement, as if she were the one who was in love. She was completely immersed in Chu Ling's happiness and didn't catch what she was getting at. Chu Ling sighed and said, "Mou Wen, if I move in with him, I can't live with you anymore..."

Mou Wen went "Huh?" and then shook her head: "I don't care! It's not like I'm gonna be homeless! I'll rent another place! If worst comes to worst, I'll go back to a bunk bed—it's cheaper anyway!"

Chu Ling definitely wasn't going to let that happen.

She was a considerate person. Because she was always writing, she could easily put herself in other people's shoes and read every emotion. She didn't want Mou Wen to end up alone.

"Mou Wen, here's what I'm thinking... We're gonna buy a house and need to renovate it. In the meantime, how about we rent a small two-bedroom together?"

"Sure, sure." Mou Wen nodded, "I'll cook for you two and fatten you both up."

Chu Ling stood up and hugged her.

Chu Ling was so grateful Mou Wen didn't rain on her parade—she didn't say anything to bring her down or blame her for planning to move out so soon. Not only did Mou Wen not say those things, but she also said, "Chu Ling, please let me design your new home. Whether it's your new little place or your future family home, I'll design it for you for free. I'll bring the best design in the country right to your door."

"Thank you, Mou Wen."

Every word Mou Wen said was straight from the heart.

Chu Ling was her first friend in Beijing, and she had been nothing but genuine and kind to Mou Wen. Mou Wen didn't want to stand in the way of Chu Ling's happiness. She wanted to be a gust of wind—so when Chu Ling was ready to spread her wings and fly, she could catch that wind and soar higher and farther.

For Mou Wen, this was yet another shake-up in her life.

She didn't know if other people's lives changed this fast. Before she could even make her own choices, fate was already shoving her forward.

Chu Ling fell asleep, and all the excitement of the day faded away.

Her phone sat in front of her, and she'd been waiting for Xie Chong to call. Her laptop was on her lap as she looked up rental prices.

The place they were in now was rented by Chu Ling. They'd gotten lucky and found a place where the landlord kept one room locked; otherwise, renting a small two-bedroom on their own would cost around four or five thousand.

She browsed rental listings on the Shui Mu Qing Hua website, thinking she should still rent her own place so she wouldn't be a burden to Chu Ling. Chu Ling and her Mr. A were just starting out and moving in together—they definitely needed their own space, and Mou Wen didn't want to be a burden to them.

Some people on the site were indeed renting out places. Mou Wen jotted down a few places that looked good and planned to go check them out one by one.

The phone rang, and when she picked up, she heard Xie Chong's voice.

"Mou Wen."

Afraid of waking Chu Ling, Mou Wen softly said "Mm" and quietly slipped out of bed and headed to the bathroom.

"See, I told you I'd remember your number." Xie Chong said, "Was that so hard?" The way he said it made Mou Wen feel like he was calling her out for forgetting his personal number.

Mou Wen stayed quiet, waiting for Xie Chong to go on.

"Mou Wen, forget about last night." Xie Chong said softly, "Forget that you kissed me, forget that you said you liked me."

"Why?"

"Because you matter to me." Xie Chong said, "You're someone really special to me."

"I don't know how to explain this feeling. I value you, and I really want to be friends with you. I hope we can keep having easy, fun meals and chats together—I love all that."

Mou Wen listened quietly. She got what Xie Chong meant: he wanted to be friends, but he didn't like her that way.

Mou Wen wasn't surprised, and she didn't seem all that upset either. If anything, she felt a weight lift off her chest. She hadn't lost Xie Chong because of her impulsive move.

That was good. She hadn't lost him after all.

She knew Xie Chong had to be in love with someone. A guy like him would love someone for the long haul, with his whole heart. Sometimes she could tell he was upset about someone or something, that he might be going through the same thing she was: loving someone he couldn't have.

Just like her.

Being friends was enough, Mou Wen figured.

Xie Chong asked why she wasn't saying anything.

She said, "I'm sorry, I won't say those weird things anymore." Her life was full of worries and problems, each one felt huge to her right now. She didn't have time to worry about whether Xie Chong loved her; she had to find a place to live, fix her work problems, and make more money.

"It's okay," Xie Chong said. "Let's have a meal together another day."

Another day.

Not tomorrow, not the day after, but another day.

Mou Wen hated "another day." She asked directly, "Why not tomorrow? Xie Chong."

"Let's meet tomorrow, shall we?"