Chapter 25 They

Chapter 25: The Two of Them

As people grow up, sincerity becomes the hardest thing to find in this world. It almost never shows its true face—it wraps itself in layer after layer of clothes, dressing up to look like something huge. People have to peel off those layers and decorations one by one before finally seeing that the "sincerity" inside is really just "that tiny bit."

Mou Wen's sincerity had already been wrapped in a layer of clothing, making her look a little "stronger."

But she also felt a real flutter of emotion. That long, fierce kiss was like a piece of 100% sugar chocolate—she held it in her mouth, it melted, her blood sugar shot up, and her head spun.

Something was pressing against her. She felt something weird and, all innocent, reached her hand between them to push it away. Xie Chong, though, let out a low grunt and arched his body, reaching out to grab her wrist and pull it to his side. His fingers slid down, threading one by one through hers, pressing her hand hard against the door.

Mou Wen couldn't move, stuck letting him press against her.

But he didn't make another move. He rested his head in the crook of her neck, keeping his body away from hers.

"Sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to, you know, get hard."

"What?" Mou Wen didn't catch that. "What's hard?"

That question really stumped Xie Chong. He straightened up a little and looked at her face, trying to figure out if she was serious or joking. She was waiting seriously for his answer. "What's hard?" she asked again.

"My mouth's hard." Xie Chong let go of her hand and asked, "Did your school in Yakeshi teach sex ed?"

"Yeah," Mou Wen said. "What school doesn't?"

"Were you out herding sheep during sex ed?" Xie Chong asked again.

Mou Wen suddenly got what Xie Chong was talking about.

She pressed her lips together, uncomfortable, and looked out the window. Outside was pitch black, and all you could hear was the wind howling.

Xie Chong's gaze searched her. He wanted to know what had just gotten into her. He understood her less and less. She should've been clear and genuine—at least that's what he'd thought before—but now he felt he'd misjudged her.

Mou Wen met his gaze, just as direct. She didn't understand her old self, why she could stand being just friends with him, as if wanting something from him made her feelings worthless.

No, that wasn't it. Because she wanted something, her feelings were worth more, more real. She wasn't a poet who sang love's praises, someone who could write an immortal verse even when the land around her was barren. She wasn't that kind of person. If the land around her was barren, she'd only think of every possible way to survive first.

"Xie Chong, do you like me? Do you like me?" Mou Wen wanted to know his answer, even if it was fake—she hoped he'd say he liked her.

But Xie Chong didn't answer. He just looked at her, deep. His proud, self-respecting soul wouldn't let him respond when he wasn't sure she really liked him. He didn't believe Mou Wen really liked him.

She'd run to him the moment she saw him, then forget him the moment she left. Xie Chong didn't like such vague, insubstantial feelings. He liked things that were real, visible, tangible. He liked things he could be sure of, things he didn't have to guess at.

"It's okay. It's okay if you don't like me." Mou Wen put her hand on his chest and let her face fall against his shoulder, defeated. She was too tired that day; she had nothing left.

"Xie Chong, can you hold me for a sec? Just for a little while," Mou Wen said. "I didn't have a very good day today."

"What happened?" Xie Chong asked.

"Nothing. Just had some trouble at work."

Xie Chong thought she looked so pathetic.

His arms slowly wrapped around her shoulders, pulling her into him. His arms were warm, and Mou Wen closed her eyes, feeling at peace.

Her heart had been tossed around by the wind all day—sometimes up in the sky, sometimes slammed to the ground. When it was up in the sky, she was happy, feeling like things were about to get better; when it hit the ground, it hurt like hell, as if she couldn't see any hope anymore.

In the end, she was still young. She'd been through too few ups and downs, too few storms. And she'd seen too few bad people.

Xie Chong didn't ask her to explain that inexplicable kiss anymore, and he didn't need her to. They just held each other like that, neither of them making a move to define what they were.

She smelled him—like a fireplace burning in a cold place—and it put her at ease.

When the doorbell rang, the two of them suddenly pulled apart. It was like they'd both suddenly woken up.

"Leave it at the door," Xie Chong said to whoever was out there.

He noticed the scarf—she was wearing the one he'd given her. They'd been so caught up in each other that they'd forgotten to take off their scarves and coats. The room was warm, and her face was red. Xie Chong reached out to help her with the scarf.

She'd wrapped it haphazardly around her neck twice. He slowly unwound the loops, revealing her pretty neck.

He stared at her neck. He'd never looked at it closely before. His gaze always lingered on her face, because she was always so radiant and full of life that he never got a chance to look anywhere else. Before, he'd been open and honest with her. But not anymore.

He wanted to own her.

His gentlemanly side had vanished. He felt a strong desire for her.

Mou Wen was scared. She was scared of the look in Xie Chong's eyes.

And yet he stepped forward, closing the distance, his breath falling on her neck. She instinctively shrank back, stepping backward; he stepped forward again, and she stepped back again...

Her body pressed against the door. With nowhere to go, she could only look up at him. Xie Chong's gaze drifted down to her lips. His hand rested on the doorknob as he said, "I need to open the door."

Mou Wen said "Oh," but didn't move.

She stood leaning against the door, her legs like jelly. Xie Chong pulled her aside so she could get out of the way. He opened the door and grabbed the takeout. There weren't many places that delivered in the area, so in the end he'd found that eunuch-and-maid restaurant and asked them to send over some food.

"Eat," Xie Chong said. "Weren't you hungry?"

Mou Wen looked at all the food Xie Chong had ordered and said, "How are we supposed to finish all this?"

"Did you forget how much you can eat?" Xie Chong said.

"I really am hungry." She tore open the packaging and joked, "After eating this, I guess I've been an imperial princess too."

Mou Wen's appetite was in full swing. She stuffed an entire duck roll into her mouth—so fragrant and delicious. Xie Chong deliberately tried to snatch it from her, and Mou Wen wrapped both arms around the duck container, pretending she wasn't gonna share.

The two of them bickered and fought over the food the whole meal. Mou Wen ate too much and wanted to go for a run. Xie Chong pointed at the wind howling outside and asked, "Are you out of your mind?"

The wind was even worse now.

But Mou Wen wasn't scared. "What's a little wind like this? You should come see our pasture. In winter, the white windstorm shapes the snow—it's terrifying. I ran into one once delivering goods with my dad. You couldn't see the road at all. It could blow a sheep all the way up into the sky!"

"Then go run, then."

"I'm not running anymore." Mou Wen pressed her hand against her stomach. "Lying down after a meal is pretty nice too. I should learn from you lazy people."

"Who you calling lazy?" Xie Chong nudged her foot with his.

"I'm lazy," Mou Wen said.

She was getting sleepy.

More like, after such a terrible day, she had no energy left to deal with the world. She just wanted to sit still, not talk, not think. She wanted to leave all her problems for tomorrow.

Xie Chong put on some music and poured himself a glass of wine, sitting at the other end of the sofa, taking an occasional sip. It was Mou Wen's first time curling up on the sofa in Xie Chong's place, yet she didn't feel out of place at all. She'd meant to close her eyes and rest for a moment, but she fell asleep like that.

The heat in Xie Chong's place was really strong.

The apartment she and Chu Ling rented didn't have heat that strong. The two of them had asked the property management to come bleed the radiators twice, and the heat was only barely enough. At home, they still had to wear wool socks and fleece pajamas.

She had that thought again, the same one from the first time she walked into this house: If only this house were mine. If only I could live here.

She curled up on the sofa. The leather seemed to radiate heat as well, warming her underneath, and a thin sheen of sweat broke out on her forehead.

Xie Chong, however, seemed blind to it, covering her with a wool blanket anyway. He stood there admiring his own masterpiece of "caring for others." He crouched down and studied Mou Wen.

Mou Wen was a true "child of the grasslands." Even in sleep, her expression was relaxed, her complexion rosy, and of course, her snoring sounded like a little calf's. Xie Chong envied this Baturu—she always had boundless energy, and even in sleep, she looked healthier than anyone.

His gaze fell on her lips as he recalled the fierce kiss she'd given him at the door. Neither had mentioned it over dinner.

What was wrong with Mou Wen?

Why was she so out of character?

Xie Chong sensed she'd run into some kind of trouble, but since she wasn't saying, she must have her reasons. He wasn't stupid—he knew her losing control and getting close were deliberate.

Yes, she was deliberate. Xie Chong knew it. But he pretended not to know.

He patted her cheek to wake her and asked if she wanted to sleep in the bedroom, offering to let her use one of the guest rooms.

Mou Wen glanced at the time—it was very late. Worried Chu Ling might be concerned, she quickly texted her: "I'm on my way home. Don't wait up for me."

Then she got up, threw on her coat, and got ready to head home.

She had deliberately gotten close to him, yet she chose to go home at night. Her "deliberateness" was held back, not to the point of no return.

Xie Chong grabbed his keys and followed her out. Mou Wen pointed at his unfinished glass of wine: "No need to walk me out—you've been drinking."

"Non-alcoholic wine," Xie Chong said.

"That's a thing?" Mou Wen walked over, took a sip, smacked her lips—not bad at all. She tilted her head back and chugged it.

Xie Chong watched her casually pick up his glass, take a drink, and set it back down, then reminded her: "That's my glass."

"Ever live in a dorm?" Mou Wen said. "Oh, right. You never did. We used to share cups with good friends all the time." She deliberately stressed the words "good friends."

"And then? What else do you and your good friends do?" Xie Chong asked.

Mou Wen didn't answer him, stepping out of his place first. Xie Chong watched her in the elevator lobby, waiting to see her next move. But she said nothing and did nothing.

Once they were in the car, he asked her: "Is there anything you want to say to me? Or anything you need to get off your chest?"

Mou Wen said: "No. If there is, it's just that if I ever lose my job and run out of money, you could let me stay in that house you mentioned."

"That's it?"

"That's it."

Was that why she kissed him?

As the car drove out of the neighborhood, the streets were a mess, debris flying everywhere like the world was ending. A thick branch flew toward Xie Chong's car, and Mou Wen clutched her chest, wincing, afraid his expensive car would get scratched up.

But Xie Chong loved it.

It was the thrill of chaos, of losing control. Their lives were usually so dull—having a day this out of the ordinary was rare.

He drove slowly down the quiet Wanliu Road. Mou Wen sat beside him, yelping the whole way. It was so ridiculous that Xie Chong couldn't help laughing at her.

"Insurance will cover the damage," Xie Chong said.

"I'd still feel bad," Mou Wen said. "You don't get it—a brand-new thing and a fixed-up one are different. One's genuinely new, the other just looks new."

"From now on, I'm calling you Mou the Know-It-All."

Mou Wen laughed under her breath.

She got home, and as she stepped out of the car, the wind swept her along. It pushed at her back, and she couldn't help breaking into a jog. Her hair flew up, her scarf came loose, streaming behind her in a long arc.

When she walked in, Chu Ling was still awake, wearing her glasses, reviewing drafts for the homepage. She said cheerfully as she worked: "Wenwen, we talked about that feature in the meeting—it's running in March! Why March? Because coming up are the New Year's feature and the Spring Festival feature..."

Mou Wen took off her coat, laughing: "I remember last year you did the homecoming feature—it was beautiful and touching."

"This year we'll aim to do even better." Chu Ling's eyes were nearly shot from all the editing; she took off her glasses and did some eye exercises.

While doing them, she asked Mou Wen: "Did you get the contract signed today? That 'pie-in-the-sky' client!"

Mou Wen sat on the edge of the bed and answered honestly: "Signed. But I'm no longer the lead designer."

Chu Ling stopped her movements, opened her eyes, and looked at Mou Wen with concern: "What happened? Why aren't you the lead designer anymore? Are you still getting paid?"

Mou Wen shrugged: "Probably not, honestly."

"Then what are you going to do?" Chu Ling asked.

"I'm gonna shower and sleep first, then figure it out when I wake up tomorrow."

Mou Wen was wiped out; she needed rest. When she lay in bed, her body fully relaxed, Xie Chong suddenly barged into her thoughts.

She thought of his lips, his kiss, the way he looked at her—like he wanted to burn her up. And she loved it.

Mou Wen felt torn, but she was grateful for that kiss—it let her forget that creep Lin Weisen before bed and drift into a girlish fantasy.

She fell asleep.

The next day, she went to work as usual, and no one could tell anything was off. Xiao Gu asked her quietly, "You okay?"

"I'm fine," Mou Wen asked Xiao Gu: "Is Mr. Chu's house gonna get you a bigger bonus?"

"No," Xiao Gu said. "Engineer Mou, in our company, it's hard for entry-level folks like me to make more. We're lucky if we don't get docked."

So Lin Weisen stole my client, and only he and whoever's behind him benefit. Mou Wen thought.

"Engineer Mou, don't be upset. Honestly, what happened with Mr. Chu happens all the time here. Everyone runs into it to some degree when they first start. Once you tough it out for two or three years and find your footing, this kind of thing rarely happens." Xiao Gu set a cup of hot chocolate on her desk. "Drink it—I made it myself and brought it in a thermos. Way better than the store-bought stuff."

"Xiao Gu..." Mou Wen's eyes welled up.

"Hey, when you're feeling down, drink something sweet!" Xiao Gu hugged her, then grabbed her backpack and headed back out. Mou Wen ran after her, offering to take her shift if she wanted to rest. Xiao Gu shook her head and said: "Engineer Mou, I like being out there, moving through the city. Honestly, I don't get tired out there." Xiao Gu unzipped her backpack a crack to show Mou Wen—stuffed inside were thick English books. She put a finger to her lips and whispered: "Engineer Mou, I've got my own stuff going on too. It's just that I'm not as impressive as you. You're young, but you say and do whatever you want. I only do things on the down low."

"Xiao Gu, keep it up."

"Engineer Mou, you too."

Mou Wen went back to her desk, her head full of Xiao Gu's thick book. Lin Weisen came back in, and she bounced up to greet him like always, calling out, "Master!"

"Morning, Engineer Mou." Lin Weisen handed her a slice of cake. "Just picked it up."

"Thanks, Master!" Mou Wen held the cake and followed him to his desk, beaming.

Seeing that, Lin Weisen asked, "Something on your mind?"

"Yes!" Mou Wen pointed to two small-area clients for Lin Weisen: "Master, I want these two clients. I need to make some money so I can go home for the New Year."

Lin Weisen glanced at them and said, "Sure, these two are yours."

"Thanks, Master!" But Mou Wen didn't leave. She just stood there, smiling at Lin Weisen.

"Now what?" Lin Weisen asked.

"Master, I want this year's Outstanding Newcomer award. Hook me up with a good score!" Mou Wen said playfully, "I don't care. You promised me, so this year's Outstanding Newcomer has to be me. I need that ten-thousand-yuan bonus. I need the money. My roommate's moving out, so I need to find my own place. For New Year's, I want to fly home so I can spend more time with my parents... I..."

Lin Weisen chuckled: "Alright, alright, I get it. It's yours!"

"If you're lying, you're a dog," Mou Wen said. "Go on, Master, bark for me!"

Lin Weisen pulled out a book and pretended to hit her with it. She ducked her head and ran off laughing.

Mou Wen knew what she had to do.

She needed to get all the money she could before January 15th. She could tough it out until then.

Lin Weisen thought Mou Wen had truly come around, so he put the matter aside. Mr. Chu's proposal had been rejected twice by Ms. Wang, and since signing the contract, Lin Weisen hadn't seen Mr. Chu again. He was eager to get Mr. Chu to finalize the design, so one day he asked Mou Wen if she had any personal connection with Mr. Chu. Mou Wen shook her head, looking at him with wide, innocent eyes.

Meanwhile, Mou Wen had taken the initiative to call Xie Chong a few times. They chatted about this and that, and they never seemed to run out of things to say.

Xie Chong was on a business trip in Quanzhou. That was his job—traveling the world to find products and inspiration, then designing, producing, and crafting. He never stayed in Beijing for long.

Xie Chong asked Mou Wen if she was about to go on break. She said yes, she'd bought her ticket. The company would officially close on January 27th, and she could take her work home with her.

Xie Chong said, "Alright, sounds good."

On January 15th, Mou Wen received her Outstanding Employee bonus, her half-year bonus for 2011, and the rest of her performance commission. It totaled 70,000 yuan. At the company's annual party, everyone was drinking and having a great time. When someone toasted Lin Weisen, he pointed at Mou Wen and said, "Drink this for me. You owe your master a drink." It sounded like she'd gotten the Outstanding Employee award through him pulling strings.

Mou Wen stood up and said, "I'll drink this one for my master. Thanks for taking care of me, everyone."

She tipped her head back and drank it all.

After drinking, she felt terrible and got off the bus two stops early.

As she crossed the overpass, she saw snowflakes drifting down.

It was snowing in Beijing. Of all days.

Mou Wen stood on the overpass, watching the snow fall on the tall buildings, on the roads, on the moving cars, gradually covering the world in a layer of white.

She called Ms. Wang and said straight out, "I'm leaving the company. I want to design Mr. Chu's villa for free. Could you please pass that on to Mr. Chu?"

"Ms. Mou, are you sure? Designing for Mr. Chu for free?" Ms. Wang—Wang Xianhe—was sitting across from Xie Chong, toying with her cocktail glass. She saw Xie Chong look up, staring at her phone.

"Yes. Free design," Mou Wen said. "Mr. Chu was originally my client. It was because of me that he chose to work with the company. But others ignored that, changed the lead designer in the contract, and stole Mr. Chu from me. I know my decision now is foolish, but I don't regret it. I'm actually happy. Please give me this chance."

Wang Xianhe smiled. She didn't seem surprised at all. She'd thought this young woman wasn't the type to just take it lying down. On the day the contract was signed, she'd expected her to cause a scene right then and there, but she turned out to be even tougher than she'd imagined. She'd held out until today, and during that time, she must have done a lot of preparing and planning.

She really was something else!

Wang Xianhe said, "Alright. This is good news for Mr. Chu—it'll save him a lot of money. In that case, the advance payment from the contract, Mr. Chu can just forget about it."

"Thank you, Ms. Wang," Mou Wen said.

"Call me Xianhe. Wang Xianhe."

A lone cloud follows the wild crane—how could it dwell in the mortal world? In that instant, Mou Wen seemed to understand where Wang Xianhe's name came from. She said, "Thank you, Xianhe."

After hanging up, she looked up at the falling snow.

She was from Yakeshi, a place at the border of Hulunbuir and the Greater Khingan Mountains. Such snow was nothing compared to the snowstorms of her hometown. But that day, the snow felt momentous to her.

Her hand clenched tightly around her phone, her knuckles slowly turning white from the pressure. It was cold.

Finally, she decided to send Xie Chong a message.

At that moment, Xie Chong was talking to Wang Xianhe about Mou Wen. He'd just confirmed that the Ms. Mou she mentioned was indeed Mou Wen. He said, "So Mou Wen quit and is going to design Mr. Chu's house for free? Is she out of her mind? How is she going to survive?"

Wang Xianhe shrugged. "She's smart. She must already have a backup plan."

Yes, she was that smart. Xie Chong thought she must have already figured out her escape route, or she'd already paved the way for herself. His phone vibrated. He picked it up and saw it was Mou Wen.

It was a message from Mou Wen: "Are you back in Beijing? Do you want to meet up?"

Xie Chong looked at the message and let out a self-deprecating laugh.

Just one laugh.