Chapter 3 Turns Out to Be an Old Fossil

"Chapter 3: So You're an Old-Fashioned Guy!"

"So you're an old-fashioned guy! But I'm no delinquent!"

"……"

"You don't believe me? Well, you gotta believe me. Besides, I've touched every part of you both all over, like every night I've touched..."

*Thud!* The tall guy named Shu Yangkuo, ears burning red, leaned against the wall trying to walk out but bumped into the door. Shi Zai quickly steadied him again:

"Ahem, I was touching the pottery figures, the Pottery Little Bird. Every night I held them while sleeping. Baldie, I really didn’t mean anything else. I just like you both and wanted to be close. Since you’ve turned human, I won’t touch anymore."

"……"

"But can’t I even give a little pat?"

Shi Zai was really confused. After helping him pull up his pants and noticing the noticeable bulge, he’d patted it with the intention of straightening the trousers, but the guy reacted as if he were some kind of monster. What harm could a pat do? Shi Zai didn’t think it was a big deal.

For someone so tall and seemingly fierce, he turned out to be such a sensitive, old-school type.

The sensitive, old-school type was ignoring him again.

Shi Zai had no choice but to support him as they walked out, explaining why he’d said earlier, "Good thing I didn’t cut it off for you":

"I originally planned to scrape off the clay from the pants part to fix Xiao Yunbao’s tail, because the clay covering your... well, that area was the thickest and kinda extra—no, not extra, hahaha... So it’s a good thing I didn’t do that. Otherwise, you’d not only be bare-bottomed but also missing your junk. I’m not professional; my hands aren't steady anyway, hahaha..."

As he spoke, Shi Zai burst into laughter. He was naturally optimistic, and now that the weird feelings had passed and the two were temporarily staying, he had nothing to cry or worry about. Looking at the guy and the little boy, remembering the pottery figures, he just felt happy and amused.

However, once Shu Yangkuo sat back on the edge of the bed, he shook off Shi Zai’s hand. Glancing sideways, he saw Yang Yun sitting on the table, pouting.

Strange.

But there was no time to dwell on it. Shi Zai finished laughing without feeling awkward, quickly grabbed some money:

"Wait for me, okay? I’ll go buy some supplies and be right back!"

With that, he ran out, but then *thud*—he rushed back in. Shi Zai poked his head through the bedroom door; the two were still sitting exactly as before. Only then did he dig out another lock and key, went out, and double-locked the door from the outside.

Without stopping for breath, he dashed across the street to the department store. He bought two big bags full of items—toothbrushes, towels, slippers, bowls, chopsticks, shoes, underwear, T-shirts, shorts, a razor—and even carried back a folding bed.

Leaving the store, he ducked into the bao shop next door, bought forty bao in one go, then rushed home at top speed.

Unlocking both locks, he didn’t even bother to put the things down first, heading straight into the bedroom to check on them. The guy was still sitting upright on the bed, and the Pottery Little Bird was on the table, rear in the air. At the sound of movement, both looked over simultaneously. Something must have happened while he was gone—their expressions were somewhat stiff, especially the guy’s—but the moment they saw him, they softened, even carrying a hint of confusion. Only then did Shi Zai smile:

"Baldie, I was really afraid you’d sneak away quietly."

...Shu Yangkuo paused, then shook his head.

Getting a response again, Shi Zai broke into an even bigger grin:

"Heh heh, I knew it! I just bought a bunch of supplies for you. Let’s brush teeth, wash faces, and eat! Who wants to go first?"

"……"

There was no expected scene of hands eagerly shooting up. Shi Zai scratched his short hair and gave a sheepish laugh. Heh heh, he’d been treating them like kindergarten kids. Last year, he’d helped out at a kindergarten for a month and had gotten used to it, heh heh.

But this big one and little one weren’t much different from kindergarten children.

They seemed very curious about this new life, not recognizing anything, cautiously looking around from time to time, yet too embarrassed to stare.

Shi Zai didn’t play favorites. Since he’d let Yang Yun pee first earlier, this time he’d start with Shu Yangkuo for brushing teeth and washing his face. He took out the toothpaste and instructed:

"Baldie, this is toothpaste. Squeeze it onto the toothbrush, then brush back and forth in your mouth. Don’t swallow it, alright?"

"……"

"Right, after squeezing it, put it in your mouth. Brush up, brush down, brush left, brush right..."

Muttering to himself, he tilted his head up to watch carefully, afraid Shu Yangkuo might swallow the toothpaste. Shi Zai wished he could brush for him, but the guy’s hands were fine; he couldn’t take over. They needed to adapt quickly to this life so totally different from their past.

As much as he wanted them to rely on him completely like dependent creatures, he couldn’t allow that.

Shi Zai smiled, then suddenly noticed Shu Yangkuo’s lowered eyes. His eyelashes were so long—he really wanted to touch them, but again, he couldn’t. His gaze traveled down from the guy’s eyelashes to his lips, covered in foam—so red. The guy wasn’t swallowing; Shi Zai couldn’t help but swallow himself, his mouth watering involuntarily.

Raising his eyes again, he abruptly met Shu Yangkuo’s gaze. Shi Zai’s heart skipped a beat, and for some reason, he softly murmured, "Brother."

*Gulp.* Shu Yangkuo swallowed the mouthful of toothpaste foam.

"Cough, cough, cough..."

"Baldie, why did you swallow it? I told you several times! What's it taste like, hahaha!"

"Cough, cough, ugh..."

Now he was bending over, gagging. Seeing how frightened the guy was, Shi Zai quickly patted his back:

"Hahaha, what's done is done, don’t worry, it’s fine. It’s not poison."

"……"

Shu Yangkuo lifted his head and accidentally caught sight of himself in the mirror—ears burning red. The mirror was so clear. He lowered his eyes again, picked up the toothbrush cup to rinse his mouth. It was full of a weird, minty sweetness, but it felt refreshing, like the first time he saw the boy.

How sinful.

Shi Zai had been holding Shu Yangkuo by the waist to support him when the guy suddenly stepped half a pace away. Shi Zai’s heart sank with disappointment:

"Touchy one, I won’t call you names anymore, and I won’t touch randomly. Hurry up and wash your face properly. That round thing next to you is soap. Rub it, then wash your face with it. You’ll smell nice! Heh heh."

"……"

There was no verbal response, but the guy obeyed without words. Shi Zai felt relieved again:

"You really are an old-fashioned guy. It’s not like I’m going to jump you."

"Cough, cough, cough..."

Shu Yangkuo had just scooped a handful of water and choked on it.

Shi Zai didn't just stand there. With one arm around Shu Yangkuo’s waist, he wet a towel with the other hand and gently wiped Shu Yangkuo’s face. Tsk, he was actually letting him do it obediently, as if used to being served.

He took the opportunity to wipe his neck as well. As for the rest... he’d teach them to bathe after eating, heh heh.

Next, he brought Yang Yun over to the bathroom sink, squeezed toothpaste for him, and stood behind him, thinking this one was even clueless-er:

"Xiao Yunbao, let me help you brush your teeth!"

"Mmm... no..."

"Hold still, or you’ll end up swallowing toothpaste foolishly like your Second Uncle."

After saying that, Shi Zai pinned down the flailing hands with one hand and quickly brushed his teeth for him with the other, then proceeded to wash his face.

As he washed, why was the kid's face getting redder? After finishing, he checked the temperature of his forehead with the back of his hand:

"Are you running a fever?"

"...No!"

"Then what's going on?"

"...Don't just stand behind a man so casually!"

"Man," now? One after another, so strange. Shi Zai chuckled and shook his head, figuring he might as well be babysitting two fools—it was quite amusing.

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They both stayed frozen. Shi Zai paused for a moment and said:

"These are baozi, very delicious. Want to try one?"

"..."

The man stared without a word, and the bird looked like he wanted to say something. Shi Zai simply grabbed a baozi with each hand and shoved them right into their mouths.

They both started coughing now.

And they both held the baozi with two fingers—had they never seen baozi before?

Watching them begin to chew slowly, Shi Zai went into the kitchen to grab the hot water, in case they choked.

In the living room, Yang Yun made a face and whispered:

"Your Highness, is he too poor for chopsticks?"

"..."

Shu Yangkuo paused, then pushed the baozi further into his mouth, finally shutting up the annoying chirping.

As soon as he returned to the living room, they looked uncomfortable again. Shi Zai gave each of them a pat on the head, smiling:

"Eat as much as you want! I have money—more than enough to keep you fed!"

"..."

"..."

He had expected the baozi to be completely finished, but there were still about twenty left. The man had eaten five, the little bird had eaten three, and Shi Zai himself had eaten eight. It didn’t match his expectations—perhaps they felt awkward eating too much as guests.

Shi Zai sighed. He figured he still needed to find a way to have them stay longer, till they got more comfortable.

After the meal, it was time for a bath. This time, Yang Yun went first. Shi Zai had originally intended to help him bathe but sensed that both were rather shy. Maybe they were city folks in their past lives, unlike him, a wild kid—they were a bit delicate. So he just adjusted the water temperature and placed the soap, washcloth, and bath towel on a small stool nearby before going out to wash their new clothes.

He had bought three sets for each of them. He washed two sets, leaving one set to wear for the time being.

After washing the clothes, he took them to the balcony to hang. Passing through the living room, he saw Shu Yangkuo still sitting perfectly straight. Shi Zai finished hanging the clothes, walked over, and crouched down:

"Monk, what are you thinking about?"

"..."

Eager to visit the temple? Not used to being here with me?

In the corner of his eye, Shu Yang’s hand on his knee twitched, and Shi Zai immediately picked it up, holding his wrist and placing it on top of his own head:

"Hehe, just think of it as a change of scenery. I don’t know where you’re from or where you’re going, but let’s take it one step at a time... How can I put it? It’s like the magnolias outside the window; they’ll wither in a couple of days. Enjoy them while they bloom, and seize the moment!"

"..."

"I will make you happy! Even if we have to part ways in the future, don’t forget this happiness, okay?"

"...Very well."

Suddenly hearing Shuyang Kuo’s third sentence, still as laconic as ever, Shizai lightly drew in a breath. He regretted asking that way, but then again, if he asked anything else, Shuyang Kuo would surely not respond so readily.

In an instant, he was beaming with a broad smile again:

"Monk, since you can't stand, shall I help you bathe?"

"..."

Sure enough, there was no response, and his ears turned red. Shi Zai lowered his head and laughed for a while, then stopped teasing him and got up to look at Yang Yun. The sixteen-year-old boy, looking like a little kid, was pressing against the glass door, eagerly watching, completely naked.

Shizai opened the door and couldn’t resist pinching his slightly puffed cheeks:

"Shall I help you get dressed, little Yunbao?"

"The towel fell on the floor and got wet."

"Hehe, shall I use my dry towel to help you? Would you mind?"

"No! Shi Zai is the best buddy! What a great guy!"

Hearing this, Shi Zai couldn't help but laugh, feeling deeply moved. Empathizing, whether it was Yang Yun or Shu Yangkuo, they had truly felt his sincerity. His precious heartfelt sincerity, which had nowhere to go, had finally found someone to receive it.

After helping the younger one get dressed, Shi Zai helped Shu Yangkuo into the bathroom. But as soon as he adjusted the water temperature, he was pushed out.

Standing outside the door, Shi Zai couldn't help but laugh. What did the man take him for? He hadn't even had time to hand over the towel and clean clothes. Fortunately, he had brought an extra stool in earlier. Peering through the glass door, Shi Zai fretted:

"Hey monk, make sure you sit on the stool to wash! Don't fall! It's fine if you hurt your butt, just don't injure your... ugh!"

"......"

Before he could finish, a large hand knocked on the glass door, the vibration making Shi Zai's head buzz. He quickly backed away.

Hehe, the old-timer is really conservative.

After waiting half an hour, Shi Zai couldn't resist lingering. Sure enough, the man was standing there naked, his back turned. Shi Zai pulled the door open:

"Why you covering up? You have one, I have one too! I'm here to bring you a towel and clothes... uh, the underwear I bought for you might be a bit small."

"......"

"Try it on. If it doesn't fit, I'll go buy another one."

As he spoke, Shi Zai noticed the man struggling to lift his leg, so he reached out to help pull it up. But his hand was immediately slapped away, accompanied by a stern remark:

"...Don't... be indecent."

"......"

Hahahaha! Shi Zai laughed so hard he doubled over.

By the afternoon, he really did become improper.

Author's Note:

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