Chapter 18 Old Fossil, Aren’t You Ashamed

Chapter 18 Old-Timer, Aren't You Ashamed?

Just as he was about to do it again in the same spot, his wrist was grabbed and lifted. A voice that was already deep sounded even huskier in his ear:

"Aren't you ashamed?"

"...Oh."

Remembering how village boys, still in open-crotch pants at three or four, got scolded by adults for playing with their little bird, Shi Zai was about to give up. But then he snapped back to reality—he wasn’t a three- or four-year-old boy, what was there to be ashamed of?!

Glancing at the other’s prominent bulge, Shi Zai thought to himself, "You’re like this all day, you should be the one who’s ashamed." He scooted closer, bumped against it lightly, then looked up with a grin:

"Bro, I’m just returning the favor for what you did to me earlier."

"...Sorry."

Hearing this, Shi Zai buried his head and nuzzled against him, then lifted his face with a pleading look:

"Don’t say sorry, I want to feel good. Bro—it’s so uncomfortable, how can I feel better?"

"...I don’t know."

"Fine, I’ll ask around another day."

"...Don’t go asking around. Sleep."

"I can’t sleep, bro, I can’t sleep!"

Squirming restlessly, he even tried to grab Shu Yangkuo’s hand and shove it into his own pants, but his hand was caught mid-air, brought to Shu Yangkuo’s lips, and kissed. Shi Zai wasn’t pleased even after having his hand kissed and lifted his knee to kick out:

"You’re poking me, how am I supposed to sleep?"

"..."

A small pillow was placed between them, and Shi Zai's back was patted rhythmically. A low, murmuring recitation started up beside his ear. Shi Zai gradually grew drowsy, yawned, and mumbled, "Stop reciting, stop reciting." His little hammer, as if under a tightening spell, slowly settled down. Seriously, how annoying—this old-timer was so boring.

Fumbling around randomly a couple of times, Shi Zai muttered with his eyes closed, "He’s already twenty-seven, how come he doesn’t know how to do this or that? All that size and age wasted." After sensing a chill above his head, Shi Zai finally quieted down.

The man in bed was fierce, in every sense. If he hadn’t been tired tonight, he would’ve definitely torn his clothes off and had a thorough play.

He’d only gotten a good look once, never a proper play. Sooner or later!

The next morning, as soon as Shi Zai opened his eyes, he saw a pair of large hands buttoning his pajamas:

"Bro, what are you doing? I’m about to get up, why bother with clothes? I want to go shirtless!"

"Stop fussing. It rained all night, it’s cold."

"...Then you don’t need to button it all the way to the top! It’s tight!"

"Behave."

Although he quite liked how Shi Zai acted boyishly mischievous around him, he hadn’t stayed still all night, squirming and rubbing like a worm. Near morning, he’d even ripped open his own pajamas, exposing his pale belly... Shu Yangkuo hadn’t meant to wake him early, but when the slightly cool skin of the belly pressed against his arm, he laid him flat and started buttoning.

After a night of rain, it really was chilly.

Shi Zai was burning up—young and strong, what cold? He grabbed the hand buttoning his clothes and kissed it, then suddenly broke into a wide grin:

"Old-timer, aren’t you ashamed?"

"?"

"Getting all worked up just from buttoning me up—now I get the difference between morning and night. You’re so ashamed!"

"..."

Shu Yangkuo’s ears turned slightly red. He lifted Shi Zai off the bed, gave his lower back a light pat, and told him to go wash up first, needing a moment to himself.

He was becoming more and more unable to handle him; it might’ve been better if he understood nothing at all. No, if he understood nothing, he’d probably just go straight for it.

In the bathroom between the two bedrooms, the two youngsters squeezed together again to wash up, laughing and joking, even comparing arm thickness. Shu Yangkuo sighed softly. They knew too much about what they shouldn’t, and understood too little about what they should, like little fools. And he couldn’t scold either of them.

After squeezing in to wash up with Yang Yun, Shi Zai concluded that his own arm was thicker, getting inexplicably childish. He didn’t know why he was so happy today—maybe because he’d been kissed last night, or maybe he was still riding the joy of settling into a new home. Perhaps there was also a thrill that his brother and little brother could finally blend into this world, and he no longer had to worry while hustling outside.

Compared to scavenging, life now was less free but filled with more purpose, so he was happy.

Probably there was also the delight of being a "little head of the family." Shi Zai vowed to make both of them better and better in his eyes. He knew that, from over a thousand years ago, Shu Yangkuo and Yang Yun both carried unspoken pain. He would mend them.

Just like repairing pottery figures and pottery little birds.

Whether body or mind, he wanted, and would, restore them to their full glory.

After breakfast, day had just broken. They first took Shu Yangkuo to Chaolin Temple, which was nine stops away.

The mountain wasn’t particularly high, but it felt spiritual because of the temple; not majestic, but ancient and dignified because of the old monastery. As they approached, the lushness of mid-spring mingled with last night’s moisture and the ancient aura accumulated over a thousand years, making one both mesmerized and enchanted.

Snapping back to attention, an unknown large bird suddenly swooped down from the sky, but just as it seemed about to brush the temple eaves, it soared back up, stirring the distant forestry with a "whoosh." Far away, ginkgo trees flourished across the mountains; up close, layered eaves rose crimson. The vast sky held only a few rolling clouds. Here, there were expansive swathes of green, red, and blue—beautifully clean and pure. Reaching the final step, Shi Zai murmured:

"Bro, Yun Bao, why does it feel like I’ve lived here before?"

"Heehee, means we’re fated!"

"Right! When I saw that big bird just now, it felt familiar too, like the old Yun Bao, huh?"

"I’m much prettier than it! My tail is colorful!"

Shi Zai laughed heartily. He already knew Yang Yun couldn’t fly in the past either but didn’t expose him. He turned to speak to Shu Yangkuo:

"Bro, did you ever dream about that boy before?"

He was referring to their chat after that night on the sofa watching Shu Yangkuo. Shi Zai now understood what wet dreams were about—the person in his dreams was the one who’d always held him, namely Shu Yangkuo. But he was curious about who Shu Yangkuo had dreamed of before.

Shu Yangkuo had started earlier, at fourteen. Shi Zai wondered what had caused it. His big eyes blinked curiously. Shu Yangkuo smiled faintly:

"A boy. Couldn’t see him clearly."

"...It wasn’t some delicate little eunuch, was it?!"

"Nonsense. I never had contact with young men or women."

"Then maybe it was me?!"

"...Perhaps."

"Hehe... Wait, you were fourteen, I was only six! You’re so perverted, bro!"

"..."

An eight-year gap wasn’t much, supposedly, but the one in his arms was always like this. Though mature in worldly matters, having struggled alone until now, a small locked-away part of his heart remained like a child’s, making it even pressure-filled for Shu Yangkuo to accept these feelings... Resenting you for being too young.

Fourteen-year-old Shu Yangkuo couldn't possibly dream of six-year-old Shi Zai, and twenty-seven-year-old Shu Yangkuo naturally couldn't be daydreaming in the temple either:

"There's no boy—only you."

"Hahaha, Brother, you're being so sweet today! You old fossil, you sweetheart!"

"...Speak properly."

"I am speaking properly, right, Yun Bao?"

After sharing a few muffled laughs with Yang Yun, Shi Zai naturally knew this was a sacred place where they couldn't mess around. He just felt a bit uneasy and wanted to use jokes to dispel the inappropriate emotions in his heart. Brother wasn't becoming a monk; he just had some business to take care of.

That damn "Springrise Sutra"—Shi Zai also hoped Shu Yangkuo would hand it over to the temple as soon as possible and stop reciting sutras from now on.

Walking into the largest hall and knocking on the door, Shi Zai instinctively let go of Shu Yangkuo's hand the moment he saw someone in Buddhist robes, instead grabbing Yang Yun's arm tightly. He blinked his big eyes, feeling the atmosphere grow increasingly serious and heavy.

While Shu Yangkuo stated his business and went inside to talk, Shi Zai pulled Yang Yun to wait in the courtyard:

"Yun Bao, what were you doing when Brother was meditating in the temple?"

"Bugging him, throwing little hawthorns at him, poking him with a stick, things like that."

"...You're really a little troublemaker."

"I was helping Second Uncle find some peace, hehe."

Shi Zai smiled, able to imagine the scenes of their interactions. Though they didn't talk much and their emotions weren't heavily expressed, there was a weird connection between Shu Yangkuo and Yang Yun back then, so their relationship was simple but warm.

Sometimes, it felt even more like Yang Yun was a cat perched on Shu Yangkuo's shoulder.

Now, the pink dumpling was attached to his shoulder every day, sweet and soft. Whenever he lowered his head, those round eyes would slowly curve as they looked back at him, gradually filling that sudden hollow in his heart. Perhaps Yang Yun was more than just a little brother.

The talk took a while. Half an hour later, Shu Yangkuo glanced toward the door again and suddenly smirked. Did he think he hadn't been seen? The little pup was peeking in, his eyes always full of light, blinking, full of him.

"You speak, I'm listening, but I can't stay here to copy it down. I'll go back..."

"If the mind is unsettled, the sutra has no power. You should understand."

"I understand."

"Just now, in your heart, was it a person or the sutra?"

"..."

After a moment of silence, Shu Yangkuo came out of the hall.

Shi Zai had just run two steps away from the door when a large hand pulled him back, a deep voice saying:

"Let's go, home."

"Brother, what did they say?"

"They won't take it."

"Impossible, right? Then why talk for so long?"

Hearing someone escorting them out behind him, Shi Zai glanced back and saw the elder abbot looking at him as if wanting to say something but hesitating. Shi Zai suddenly stopped, his strength abruptly stronger than Shu Yangkuo's, dragging both his brother and the younger one back.

Shu Yangkuo wouldn't let him ask, so he stood in front, patting his chest and saying, "I'm taking charge." Only then did he learn what had happened—Chaolin Temple wanted Shu Yangkuo to stay for ten days to half a month, both copying and explaining the sutra, so as to do justice to this thousand-year-old secret sutra.

After hearing this, Shi Zai froze. Half a month... He had only known Shu Yangkuo for half a month. Though he felt they had been close for a long time, after all, he had only met this living person half a month ago. To really stay at the temple—he could hardly take it.

No, not "hardly"—very much so.

The moment he turned around, Shi Zai forced a big smile:

"Brother, you should stay. It's only half a month..."

"I won't stay."

"Alright, you big baby. Yun Bao and I will come see you every other day. We're very close."

"...No."

Shi Zai didn't know what else to do. He asked the abbot to wait a moment and pulled the two outside the courtyard. He glanced at Yang Yun, and Yang Yun wiped his eyes, tears pouring down as he looked at Shu Yangkuo: "Second Uncle, if you don't listen to Little Brother, I'll cry for you, and I won't be able to stop."

Then, Shi Zai pretended to rub his own eyes too:

"And me."

"..."

Shu Yangkuo sighed, pulling them both close, his head bowed low, his cheek pressed against Shi Zai's temple.

Fifteen days—he could fully imagine how the boy without his embrace would toss and turn night after night.

No longer shocked by his own great change, no longer denying his acceptance of that heartfelt care, no longer playing games, Shu Yangkuo knew how important he and Yang Yun were to Shi Zai, and he also knew what Shi Zai meant to them... Moreover, he had been seen at his most vulnerable. Though nothing had happened yet, his entire chest, down to his heart, was already full of Shi Zai.

How could he leave for fifteen days when the boy was so insecure?

It was strange—when he had nothing to seek, fifteen days passed in the blink of an eye, but now each day felt like a year.

Shi Zai shook his head, nuzzling against Shu Yangkuo, cupping his face, and immediately saw the redness in his eyes. He teased softly:

"Brother, aren't you embarrassed? So grown-up and still not weaned? You need to be brave. Xiao Zai will always be here, will take you home."

"...Okay."

They parted ways then. On the way down the mountain, Yang Yun, puzzled, looked at Shi Zai, who kept rubbing his eyes, and asked:

"Little Brother, why did you insist Second Uncle stay?"